you What up, mom? Put down that coffee and grab a wine. Get ready for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, a parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby's full diaper. I'm Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three in Brooklyn, New York. I'm trying to figure out whether I should go back to work, have another baby, or spend the rest of my life waiting for my fresh direct order. Hey, I'm Christine, a video editor and a mom of two living in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Allie here, podcasting up in the mountains in South Kona, Hawaii. I work as a real estate agent and a mom of two boys. Hey, I'm Molly. I'm a teacher raising two kids in St. Augustine, Florida. And I'm Sarah, a new mom to one sweet babe living in Brooklyn, New York. Between five busy households, it's a miracle we make it on the mic at all.
But trust me, we need this as much as you do. Hey, girls. Hi, babes. Hey, ladies. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Nursing and Cursing. Guess what today is? What? I'm not ready. What? It's picture day. Oh, cheese. Cheese. Oh, my God. Did you press the shirt and get out the blazer and the hair gel like everybody in Levi's class? Wow, it wasn't that far off, but directed by myself.
Really? He got all dressed up? He asked his dad if he'd iron his shirt. He's never said that in his life. I didn't even know he knew what that was. Oh, my God. Does Tim iron his shirt? Tim does iron his shirt. What? Okay, let's just take a moment for that. He'll own an iron?
Yeah. This is so believable to me. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Right. Sarah, I don't know what you're talking about. Every single person in our family just grabs something from the dirty hamper every single day. That's how we start every day around here. Well, I'm thinking about Sarah's Tim. And yes, he goes to work at like a, not corporate, but some kind of job like that in New York. I guess, Molly, your Tim does as well. Kate, I would say that JJ does also, but what? He doesn't iron his shirts? Oh my God. Jeremy has one million tricks for...
for being able to sleep until 10 minutes before he has to walk out the door. And none of them involve ironing his clothes. So what type of thing does he wear to work? He doesn't wear, like, a T-shirt or a polo. Like, what is he wearing to work? He's, like, wearing one shirt that's actually, like, from a surf store, but it just doesn't have, like, the label on the outside. And he's, like, shoved it in his backpack, puts it on before he walks in the building, takes it off when he walks out. So, like, a button-up Volcom shirt or something? Oh, yes, girl, you nailed it. And, okay, and it doesn't matter if it's wrinkled. Well, maybe it does, but he doesn't give a shit.
It does matter if it's wrinkled. He doesn't care. I mean, that's Garrett. He works at the Contemporary Art Museum and he looks like a fucking scrub every day. And so do I. Garrett, he wore a purple t-shirt today.
Well, that's cool. Jeremy has a purple t-shirt. No, it's like from an estate sale probably in 1981. Like some weird faded graphic on it. Yeah, the hair always looks cool. It's like nobody else gets it, Critty. Right, nobody gets it. Okay. I just want to say we are discovering the real topic of this episode, which is what your husband wears. It's supposed to be picture day. I'm going to circle back. Mine wears the same thing every single day. You could never tell one day from the next ever, ever.
Well, he's not wearing a shirt. He's partying. But if he's got a work day, then he's got a green t-shirt with the Kona Tree Care logo on the back. It's a dark navy blue car hearts and boots. And he wears that every single day. It's a uniform. It's a uniform, right? Stop.
So anyway, let us know what your husband wears every day. We're fascinated. Yes. Yes. You knew what an iron was. Okay. So pretty go for it. What did you do to prep for picture day? This is all that I did to prep. Um, after leave, I went to bed. I hid his Pikachu shirt that goes down to his ankles, which he's obsessed with. It's like.
Made for a 12-year-old. It's, like, size 12, and it goes to his feet. So I hid that, and I hid his filas that are, like, lifted. There's, like, a three-inch sole. I hid those. And that's it. I just hid those two items, and then I was, like, have at it. And he just wore an oversized T-shirt, some Hawaiian print shorts, his checkerboard vans, and he did a shotgun, his pictures. He rocked it out like Spicoli. It's amazing. It is amazing. But all the kids in his class were in, like, polo shirts, blazers, and hair gel. He looked like such a California kid.
It was funny. He looks so cute. Where's my Pikachu shirt? I need my Pikachu shirt. You must have left it. You must have left it somewhere. So this is funny because it's real. We do control. We do control. Because if we didn't actually care at all, he wouldn't have the Pikachu shirt. He would have worn that and the Felix. Chrissy, I was going to ask you one question.
Twice a week, Allie. That's on any given day. I can't stand it because when I put him in the car seat, he gets stuck in the buckle. He falls on it like it's actually a safety hazard. I would have done the same thing. Chrissy, it's a safety hazard? It is. Like, he falls on it. He trips and falls. He gets stuck in a seatbelt. It's fucking enormous, Kate. Like a blanket. It's like a blanket. Chrissy, I was going to ask you one question. What about somebody could come back at you and say, if you had let him wear the Pikachu shirt to picture day, that picture, at some point, you guys would look back and be like, oh, my God. Remember the fucking Pikachu face? Like, that would capture exactly where he is right now. That's true.
Listen, I will say, his outfit still was not cute and was not one of my favorites. It was still a very oversized shirt. It was cute, but you're right. It was so him. It was him. He was himself. It was still him. Like, I hide that shirt and shoes most of the week.
because it really bothers me on some sick level. And it's because I asked my mother-in-law to not get him oversized character clothes. And she did just that. And he's obsessed. It like represents many things. It's got layered. Our listeners are not dummies. They can unpack everything that you just said. Okay. Moving on. It's now time for a quick sponsor break. I want to talk to you guys about a deodorant that I recently switched to that I am loving. It's by the company Native. Okay. It's formulated without aluminum or parabens or talc. It's filled with ingredients found in nature, you know.
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You know, Kate, you brought up the thing where, but what about, you know, did anybody coach you and say, but what if you look back in, you know, 15 years, which, yeah, we probably all would be LOLing up a Pikachu shirt that was down to his ankles. Somebody did that to me, you guys. I, last year, and I can't remember if I put it on the podcast. I probably did as a fail. Last year, Phoenix took his picture and thought it would be really funny to turn his shirt backwards. So he did. He put his shirt on backwards and he did buck teeth in the photo. I remember. Okay.
Actually, the photographer for the school is a friend of mine. She texted me the photo. And I was like, what the fuck? Oh, my God. This little fucker. Look at him. And I showed all my girlfriends around the table. We were drinking wine one night. And the photo came in. And they were laughing so hard. And they were like, Ali, we beg you. Do not do anything about it. Don't send a tweet. Because you're going to look back on this. And you're going to love it. So I didn't. And it does kill me a little bit. But now I'm starting to get excited about the future. Yeah.
I don't, I mean, there's a weird angle to picture day, which maybe I'm like 100% totally alone, but that is that I actually feel like because we all take so many pictures of our kids, picture day just is not what it used to be. Like it used to like really capture a moment in time. Now I feel like, now I feel like I have a trillion, I have a trillion pictures of my kids. So I think that's why I'm just not like, I mean, there's been so many years when I've just totally spaced on ordering them and I haven't, I mean, I could go back into the website, I could make it happen, but I'm like, oh, it's okay. Like I have, I have already printed out from my phone one million stupid pictures of them this year. So I know there's something iconic about the school photo. I just don't think it is.
what it used to be it was but maybe that's why i feel so chill about letting mavis wear like mavis wore like um last picture day i think i never give a shit i always let my kids just wear whatever they want and last picture day mavis put her hair this is the one time that i was like I put it in like, like buns on the top of her head, which is what she had asked for. And when I picked her up, right, exactly. And she's missing her two front teeth and she has huge glasses. She already looks like a human emoji or like a cartoon. But when I picked her up, she still had one bun in, but she had taken the other one out and then up combed her hair, like throwed out the other side of her hair.
When I picked her up, I was like, by the time I picked her up, I'd forgotten it was picture day. And I was like, oh, my God, your hair is so funny, Mavis. That's so cute. She was like, I know. I did it for picture day. And then when she said that, it was like a record scratch. I was like, wait, what? Oh, my gosh. Well, that is funny. Augie's, you know, he had the button up. And, okay, I'll come clean. I cut his hair the night before. He had, like, he hadn't had a cut since, you know, for about six weeks. And for him, kind of shortish hair, like growing over his ears. And I was just like, oh, okay. Got to freshen it up for picture day.
so there's me controlling it and then for the bottoms he wanted to wear like swishy like umbro style shorts um that are like outer space so it's like work on the top party on the bottom um and he did and it was fine but i am also coming from You're a teacher. You're a teacher. I'm laughing out loud because guys, don't send, I'm not going to get into super details, but listeners do not send a note in with your kid on how to style them. If you want your child to wear like a denim jacket with a collar popped and certain accessories, please put them on your child and send them that way. What's the alternative? Like how are they, are you going to find articles of clothing for their kid? How are you going to do that?
Switch out the shoes, Sarah. Oh, no. Put in the earrings. No. Make sure the jacket is on, which it's not on. I'm sorry. Absolutely not. You said put in the earrings? You're not a nanny. You're a teacher, right? Wait, put in the earrings. I don't think I would even ask a nanny to fucking put the earrings in. Put in the earrings. Did you get slip the tip? I mean, that's asking a lot. Why am I putting in the earrings? Oh, they were just, she just was throwing a fit this morning about it. Yeah, she wouldn't do it for her mom. Make sure the necklace is like pulled to the front and that the clasp isn't showing. Oh, wow. No, Molly, no. Sticky no.
Wow. So now let me fast forward and show you the reality of picture day for a teacher. We do not have control of what time that shit happens. Of course, my class went after recess, Florida recess. They were so sweaty. Their bangs were all wet. I'm like, whatever. Their bangs were all wet. Their cheeks are like purple red. Their bangs were all wet. Their bangs were sticking to their face. That's what my kids look like every day. Their bangs were wet. Your teacher does not have control over this. It's a huge inconvenience every single time. Oh my gosh.
Are your kids old enough to have pictures also for their recreational activities? Like those are, those are the most exciting ones for me. Oh yeah. We get soccer and are so good. Cause they do it on green screen with these cheesy backgrounds. That's fantastic. That is fantastic. Why don't we, we don't, I don't know if we're just doing the wrong activities, but that's never been an option for us for any activity. Speaking of the green screen, like Kate, you talked about the picture of day being this iconic thing. We have them taken in the forest and it's like pretty bamboo behind them. And it's kind of like, you know what? We don't want, I don't want that. I want like a lightning bolt.
and the sparkles behind them. Can we do it in front of the Sears Tower? That would be really great. We love it because it's something that's nostalgic and like the cheesier the better because you're right. We get so many pictures of them in nature or in their everyday life. Boring. I know. Give me the cheesy, funny shit. Like the foliage? I love the foliage one. Yeah, I love my pictures of gymnastics where there's like sparkles in the background. Yeah.
So you do – so this is our first year, you know, kindergarten, public school. And, yes, we got a choice of backgrounds. And, Allie, I'm looking at them right now. I'm going to just text those off to you, ladies. Okay. But the choices are, like, the classic blue. And then there's, like, the shimmering green. And then there are several fall tree choices. Oh, my gosh. This is so good. Orange foliage, stars. I went for the classic blue. And I do have an idea. Of course, I've never followed through with any one of these ideas, including my own wedding album. But I want to have, like, a special album that's all.
Just one page per year, their school picture. That's such a great idea. Great idea. But wait, Molly, we do two pictures a year, right? One at the beginning, that's why they have the fall background, and then one at the end of the year. Oh, no, we get one a year. Most schools get one a year. Our school does too. Wow. We didn't get backgrounds. Those are just taken outside. I was bummed for, like, not green screen. Hey, guys, it's time for a quick sponsor break. I've got a friend who's really been struggling to get health answers. She's been breaking into a rash every time she eats, and she's been trying to pull things out of her diet, figure out what's going on.
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directly through the EverlyWell platform. To start learning more about your health like I did, check out EverlyWell at-home lab tests today. For 15% off an EverlyWell at-home lab test, visit everlywell.com slash nail and enter code nail. That's everlywell.com slash nail, code nail for 15% off your test. EverlyWell at-home lab tests. Your answers, your way. Chrissy, I want to say that you probably have it. I know there's like a back-to-school photo of me, and I want to say Chrissy and Allie take it at Walmart. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did this.
That was just us. We just went to Sears and we hit up the portrait studio for a good LOL. But I'm calling it back to school because we were all going to college. I wonder how many families actually go to Sears because they missed picture day or something. A lot of families go to Sears. Yeah. Well, I know. I know. Other reasons, but not back to Sears. Our picture is so good. We're like, we're like, um, spooning each other from behind the three of us. We need to post this on our Instagram. It's hilarious. Do somebody have it? I do. It's on a blue, beautiful background and we're like holding each other. Yeah. It's really good. I look so much like my brother. It's I'm now, I would love to see it because I bet I look exactly like my son.
Do you guys remember picture day when you were a kid? Oh, yeah. Did you, like, really care or pick out certain outfits? I definitely did. Yeah, for sure. I just remember always being so uncomfortable in front of the camera and, like, never, like, they were like, tilt your head forward, now up.
It gave me so much anxiety and I looked so ugly every year that my family would hang a sample up on the fridge and just laugh at it and they would never buy the photos because I looked so bad. Oh my god, that's abusive. It is abusive. You wonder why I have no self-esteem. The picture, I was so nervous about how they would tell you to pose that it just would come across and shine through the photos and my dad would just rip it and die laughing.
My dad just recently sent me, Chrissy, it's so funny that you say that. He just recently sent me, maybe I should post that, a sample of my picture day when I was like in seventh grade. It's like the little printout. The printout was like the words over it because they didn't buy it. And the funny thing about the sample is that like my dad filled out the order form, but with the way that he sent me the sample, I can tell that he never, he filled out the order form, but he never ordered the photos. Which just triggered me because I just filled this out two nights ago to get my pictures. And what the fuck is with the cost? Okay.
No, I know. All I wanted was like a few wallets and maybe one three by five. But you can't do that. You have to go packages. Whatever.
Who else had their mom would put in a frame all your pictures from each following year? Never. My parents didn't print my pictures, Sarah. They said I was too ugly. I was going back for a framed photo. No, my mom basically told us from day one. I don't know. She thought it was cheesy as fuck. She never had a single picture, I think, even of us in the house. Not true. One year, my mother-in-law was visiting at Picture Day, and of course, she ordered the biggest package in that year.
We were basically wiping your ass with pictures of Wilder. She ordered so many. We're going to fucking give them away. Take two. Two. Okay, well. Okay, I have a nail. You know, guys, just bring it on back. We are still doing Checkmark Challenge over here. Hell yeah. Yep, they did a brother-sister double.
They both nailed it. They both got their checkmark challenge to town at the same time, which basically took like months. And we are going through the aisles of Target and Goldie knew just what she wanted, some unicorn backpack. Okay, great. Augie is going through, going through, cannot decide one of those. I have to be so patient on checkmark challenge day because...
the sky's the limit almost in his mind is this in the budget is this in the budget and then he comes to me after like 30 minutes of trying to figure it out and I'm sweating it because I'm like dang it he wants this one thing I don't know should I do it and he's like okay I've decided um I want to get that ninja blow dart thing at the dollar tree yes So we got in the car. Amazing. One dollar. Dang. Wow. Fail, girl. That's a major nail. What a sweetheart. Yeah. And my fail, not so much a sweetheart, in front of a bunch of people, he was struggling with me to whatever it was. He didn't want to leave somewhere. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me guess. You're going to slap me across the face again. What? You're like, I've never slapped you, honey. Oh, and then me like trying to backpedal.
I have never slapped you. August, why would you say that? I sound so guilty, Allie. There's no way to not look guilty for that. That's awful. I have never slapped him, you guys. We know that. You can say it again. You don't have to say it. I can feel you blushing. No matter what you say to an adult in that situation, you sound guilty. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Oh, boy. So we ended up getting in the car, and I was so mad I might have cried. And then you slapped him for the first time. I'll show you what a slap. He really deserved it. Oh, gosh.
Well, I have a nail and that is that I finally passed my real estate exam. And then my fail. Okay. So the first time I took it, you get like two and a half hours to take a test. And I took it in like 35 minutes and I failed it. And I failed it the first time. And I was talking to my friend and I'm like, she's like, why did you finish so quickly? And I was like, well, the questions are so long. The answer choices are so long. I could not read through them. There's 135 of them. I could not do it. I could not concentrate. And she's like, God, you sound like you have ADD. You really need an Adderall when you take that test again. And I'm like, I'm like, oh.
I love this. She's a nurse. She's a nurse. I love where this is going. So she's like, Oh, do you know anybody who has ADD? And I'm like, Oh yeah, tons of people. So I get my, I get my hand. Everybody's overdiagnosed. So I get some Adderall from a friend and she's like, just take half, cut it in half because you know, whatever you don't need the whole thing. So the morning of the test, I'm running super late and I'm quickly making Levi's lunch. And I'm like, Oh crap, I forgot to take my half Adderall. So I go over to the cutting board and I like cut it in half with a knife, you know, and I take my half and then like,
Garrett's trying to leave me. He's like, I need the lunch. Give me the lunch. You know, we're like rushing to get out the door. And I flipped the sandwich over. And there's like Adderall dust all over the sand. Oh, no. The pill is blue. And there's like a wash of blue dust all along the bread. And Garrett's like, we need to go. I need to go. And I'm like, shit, I don't have time. And so I just like lick the blue dust off the bread. Oh, perfect. Throw it in. Throw it in the lunchbox. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. I'm like, what am I doing? And I just send him to school. And anyway, he didn't need the sandwich. I passed the test. So it's a nail and a fail. All of a sudden. I love that story. Do you feel any difference?
I didn't, but I took two full hours to take the test. The first time, I really legit couldn't read through the questions. There are huge paragraphs of scenarios. I could not read through them. The second time, I was able to. I took Adderall one time, and it was the most... I can't even explain how productive my day was. It's scary. Every hour was four hours. I got so much stuff done. I was like, I could 100% be an Adderall addict. This is amazing. I only took the half that I was able to concentrate and read, and I wasn't phased.
I took one. Do I get it in my life? Really? I feel like a whole one would have cracked me out. It did crack me out. I was like cleaning my microwave with a Q-tip by the end of the day. Physically, what does it feel like? You feel fine? I felt totally fine, Allie. It's just that when I sat down to work or when I went for my run or when I did a million other things that I did that day, I just could be in the moment, get that thing done as fast as possible and move right on. I felt fine.
This is dangerous. We shouldn't be talking about this because this sounds like the number, like the best mom dog I've ever heard. It's so funny because I was talking to my brother about it and I was like, oh my God, guess what I did today? And I told him and he was like, oh yeah, but you know what? It's going to make you shit foam. And I was like, okay. It didn't make me shit foam. But the day after I had the, I had a terrible stomach ache enough to enough that I was like, okay, I paid the price for that amazing day. It was amazing. It really wasn't. I had nothing, nothing. I had nothing. Well, you passed your test, but I think you would have passed without it.
I'm telling you, I could not read the questions, Kate. They were so long. It was like reading a book on every question. I couldn't do it. Too bad we didn't discover Adderall before the SATs. Yeah, no kidding. Thank God. We also would have become fucking Adderall addicts, just like Jessie and Saved by the Bell. Oh my God. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
Is that what you, okay, who's next? I think so. Okay. No, no, Sarah, go ahead. Mine is, I'm just really lame, but it's just, like, where I am in my motherhood. The other night, I said, I was, like, thinking of something, and I go, oh, craw, and then I realized Francis is right next to me, so I went, craw, like that.
She goes, and then she goes, crash, crash, crash. She just kept saying it. You saved it. I didn't make like a conscious decision not to swear in front of her, but I know that Tim doesn't like it when I do, so I try not to. But in that moment, I was like, I don't know. I just was compelled not to say the full word, and she just fucking lashed onto it. She knew that this was like something new. She knew.
So I got to watch out, man. Definitely got her attention. Yeah. Anyway, and I guess, um, I guess my nail can be, yeah, that the first initiative that I started at my job, which was a journal club when, um, it started today and the first meeting was really good. It went viral. It went viral. It did go viral. You had a lot of attendees. Viral. That's so awesome, Sarah. All right. Anybody else?
No, I have also a really boring – well, my fail is that Mavis had a cavity. We went to go get it filled today. Her nail would be that she somehow parlayed a 10 a.m. cavity filling into an entire day off school, including sushi. I really don't know how she did it. She's a wizard. But I also had another – Wawa's been sneezing and itchy and can't keep his eyes open and blah, blah, blah, just obvious signs of allergies for like three weeks. And I'm so used to ignoring my kids and ignoring their symptoms and just telling them they need more sleep or more water or just more listening to me. And I went –
Finally, this week, his school called and was like, yeah, you know, he's, like, really having a hard time with his allergies. I was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I took him to the doctor, and she was like, yeah, no, you see how he has two black eyes? And I was, like, looking at him. I was literally looking at him like I'd never seen him before. I was like, well, I couldn't tell because he wears glasses. She was like, yeah, but his glasses don't even sit on his face, right? I mean, he has, like, really black eyes. It's a lot of water retention. I was like, oh, my gosh. I was like, okay. She's like, I mean, we call those allergy shiners. Have you ever heard that term? Never.
wow would never rat me out but he was looking at me and i mean i was happy for him because he was obviously giving me a face like i fucking told you so i was like okay so you write a prescription or what and she was like no everything that you need to resolve this problem is over the counter i mean there's really no need to suffer and i was like oh okay we gotta go we gotta go we gotta go to duane reed exactly wow so he's on day five of flornades and it's a whole new world All right. I got a nail. Super simple. You can just call it rotisserie chicken. I'm on board already. Yes. Like I forget or I don't use that often. Never. But I had like all these vegetables and they were ready to be cooked. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to buy a rotisserie chicken. Nobody needs to know nothing. You put rotisserie chicken on a plate with vegetables and you're like, ah, I'm fucking Daddy Crocker.
That shit is awesome. Ellie, I'm just laughing at you catching on to something everybody else has been doing for 10 years. Yeah, I know. But I can't. I can't do it in my household. You guys know why. We know. So that's a secret between us. And my fail. So I think I talked a little bit last week about how.
We are having a hard time with Leo and his transition into first grade, right? He had the flu and was having a hard time. Well, this Monday, he went to school. And even over the weekend, Peter and I were like, wow, we're seeing a change here. His attitude was better, way better towards us. He was really loving. And just I remember, oh, my gosh, I got my old kid back. And he had a great day on Monday and an easy drop off. And I was like, yes, that's it. We're in week seven. This is it. He made it. And then Monday night.
Oh, he came down with a really bad fever. I was like, what the fuck? Again? Yes. And so he just had a little something. And it was over by day two, but I kept him home just so that, you know, the school didn't call me. Like, come get him again. You know, I didn't want that to happen. So this morning, guys, it was hell. It was fucking hell. My worst is square one. Ever. Please, everybody say a prayer that it's not going to be square one. It's not going to be another piece of this bullshit. What was it like, Allie, when he came home today? From 6 a.m., he woke up when he came home, Sarah.
It was okay. You know what? He is watching a show with his brother right now because I don't have child care during this. And he was okay. I'm not mentioning anything. I'm just not going to say, I'm not going to over talk about it because I'm just not going to. So I haven't really dove into his day or anything, but he seemed okay when I picked him up. I'm really scared though for tomorrow morning. Just wish me luck. Okay. Tomorrow's Friday. Yeah. So that's exactly how you're setting it up. Yeah. It's Friday. It's the weekend. Exactly. It's the weekend. We're just going to knock this out and have a great weekend all together and not even think about Monday morning until it gets here. Yeah.
Good luck, babe. Oh, Critty, I'm just laughing. Do you remember when we made that jingle and you're living ruminati? I think Maddie might be crying and Critty might be dealing with a crying baby right now. Oh, wow. She is. I have a bug bite. Yeah. Oh, my God. Okay. Scratch my back. Classic. All right, you guys. Well, to all you moms and dads across America, good luck with picture day. Try to let your kid do them. Do your kid. Do your kid. Yeah. Good luck with that. Have fun. Bye, everybody. Good night. See you next week. That's it for now. Check you guys next week for another nursing and cursing where you won't tell your husband that you accidentally let your kid eat a cat turd.