Welcome to another episode, Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse, that's Wilder, and hold on, an important piece of mail is just come across my desk. Let me just, hold on, let me just open this mail up. Oh my God, you're not gonna believe it.
We got ourselves a wiki peeks. Who does this guy think he is? Oh yeah, snuck a segment right into the beginning. Into the edge of my God, how about it?
Bro, I don't even know why ukulele out, give me a minute. Yeah, go fetch it boy. So did you say that we've got a wiki peeks, wiki peeks, come take a look at our wiki peeks. This one I actually, I just wanna- Hold on, hold on.
Hey gang, we have this other podcast where we did segments sometimes, and occasionally McGrath, which I'm in, with one of his least popular segments, wiki peeks. Are you kidding me? You would find something from the internet and make me listen to it. This is a continue.
A heater of a segment, and I know that with the urgency that you scramble to your ukulele that you know in your heart that it's a good one. I'm gonna need you to look up a person. Their first name is Rube, R-U-B-E. The last name is Waddale, W-A-D-D-E-L.
American baseball athletes. A pretty decent baseball player at the turn of the century. We're talking like an 18, his MLB debut was in 1897. I wanna direct you, I'm gonna steer you down a little bit.
So he's got a screw ball, a curve ball, he's got a lot of good control. I mean, it sounds like he led the majors in strikeouts for six years. So that's important because he's not some ding-dong. This guy is like one of the most dominant pitchers of his era.
He's like a video game character. Yeah, now let me steer you down to early baseball career. Waddale's career wound through a number of teams. He was notably unpredictable.
Early in his career, he would often leave in the middle of a game to go fishing. What? He also had a long standing fascination with fire trucks, and had run off the field to chase after them during games on multiple occasions. So what you're telling me is that Rubo Adele was actually a bunch of dogs in a trench coat pretending to be a fucking human being, but they had a mean arm.
Isn't it wild that this guy was dominant? And he would just go fishing the middle of a game? Not sure if he didn't go fishing in the middle of the game. He might have been the most legendary pitcher that ever lived.
Yes, and it's funny because now people say a pitcher is unpredictable because they might throw any pitch at any point in the game. And this guy is like, oh, I'll show you fucking unpredictable. What's that, a fire truck? I'm outta here, baby.
Next sentence, he would disappear for months at a time during the off season, and it was not known where he went until it was discovered that he was wrestling alligators in a circus. What? You read the next sentence. Do you see where I'm at?
Read the next one. He was easily distracted by opposing fans who held up puppies, which caused him to run over and play with them. And you guessed it, shiny objects, which seem to put him in a trance, a trance, bruv. He is a straight up zoo animal.
The man is a loom. A dog, he's an actual dog. Man, so good. And then it turns dark immediately, an alcoholic for much of his short life.
Well, they'll hardly speak. I'm gonna die. This is a great question. Chasing something shiny off a freaking bridge or what?
Yeah, probably, bruv. Maybe it was wrestling alligators in the circus. Final years. Yeah, it's final years.
Oh, tuberculosis. Ooh. He got to get to tuberculosis. That'll get you every freaking time.
Hey, get vaccinated, huh? That's the message of this, wiki peeks. A dog don't stand a chance against no fucking tuberculosis. Gee, slow-wish.
Look at you. Yeah. With a fucking wiki peeks out the gates. And come on, such a good one.
Are you kidding me? Shout out to Ru. Yo, we're big, Ruub has over here at the guide. Truly, every Ruub has, it's never, Ruub has never missed.
Couple of them, my God. Bro, we're a Ruubric podcast. Yes, dude. Yes, dude.
Yes, dude. Yes. Yes, big time. I just want to put some respect on Ruub's name.
I mean, he was probably a bad person, but- As all white people in the 1800s were. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In 1905, one, a triple crown for pitching. Finished 27 and 10, 287 strikeouts, and 1.48 ERA.
If you're not a baseball fan, obviously this is the 1900. So it's different, right? But if you did that today, people will be like, Wow, we got to put him in the hall of fame right now. Like, immediately this first- 100%.
It's going to run to the hall of fame. Like a completely separate hall of fame for animals. Yeah, fits like airbud. We had a- I think a wiki peeks one time that I did, that was a list of achievements that animals had got.
Yes. Pop him right up on there. Yes, big time, big time. Oh, we didn't even read.
Actually, I do need one more thing in here. Go on. His early life we skipped over. At the age of three, he wandered over to a local fire station and stayed there for several days.
He did not attend school very often. He strengthened his arm as a child by throwing rocks at birds. Oh my god. He also worked on mining and drilling sides as a youngster, which helped his conditioning.
That is sports science right there. LeBron and all the like, all the Tom Brady's, he'll try and sell you on some system of nutrients. Go work in a coal mine, baby. Sure.
Maybe you'll be dominant. Yeah, you want to make it to the Hall of Fame? Hello, coal mine. Yeah.
Throw some rocks at birds. You idiot. He's got the nose and mouth of Jeff Daniels. And he's got the furrowed brow of Michael Shannon.
He's a little bit of a shame, man. Which is, you know, not a good comparison. You don't want to be compared to the freak Lord himself, Michael Shannon. Guys, you don't even know how much of a graph that I talk about, Michael Shannon.
Yeah, pretty, pretty rags, pretty on the rags. I just, it is. Oh, and he is in the Hall of Fame, by the way. As he should be.
Yeah, I mean, it seems legitimately incredibly dominant. Yeah, the dog Hall of Fame. He looks and is described as a sociopath, right? Like you would, this is like a serial.
If this showed up to your birthday party, you would be like, we got to go. The dude that chases fire trucks and the street and wrestles alligators is here. Correct. We kind of looks like Crispin Glover, doesn't he?
Oh, he's got a little Crispin in him. You can't imagine me. Crispin and the Krispin and the Krispin and the Krispin Glover and Michael Shannon? You get him away from me.
I got to close this out. Now you said it. Yeah. Ew.
Without further ado, we're going to go from a guy who rarely attended school and still managed to be in the baseball hall of fame to today's topic. You want to tell him what the topic is? School day. Yeah, big pass.
But we're going to be thinking, oh, this would have been a good topic to coincide with like, you know, back to school in the fall. Yeah. Schools are almost out, which is the best way I like to have school. And honestly, I've been on spring break this week.
It's not going to be very quite lit. No school, OK? Right. What grade are we in?
Because I think this is a big difference, no matter what. I think it's got to be high school because you have more autonomy in high school. I would agree. Because like fucking dope as a day of first grade is like, we've made him turkeys.
I'm going to say time slash era. And that feels important, right? That high school would be the very quiet list. Oh, I think if you've got to go once you're like preschool or some shit, all you got to do is play with your toys, bro.
That's a great day of high school of school. High school. So we're going to talk mostly about high school. Because my high school is a very pretty good.
Because obviously, it's the worst times of all of our lives. Unless you're fucking Dante on the football team. And it's the best times of your life. Because that's where you peak.
Right. Like me. I peaked in ninth grade. Oh my god.
I'll give you a very not quite late time for school. is when you were McGrath and you still have to go to school when you're an adult. I know. Well, that's all we're talking about.
But yes, you're not wrong. So you think preschool is the best. Only thing about preschool is that like, I guess as a preschooler, I did enjoy it. Yeah.
You don't have to do anything. You play your fucking nap time. Oh my god. Nap time.
Bonus points. Nap time. I don't really agree, but I'll put it, I guess. Oh, the biggest sleepy poopy alive doesn't agree that nap time.
Well, I can't. You know me. I can't fuck with naps. I simply cannot.
Oh, you do is nap. No. I fall asleep. Sorry.
All you do is fall asleep. It's so worse. I wish I could nap. Very not quite late.
It is. And that's up to debate. There is no debate. Middle school, talk in sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade.
The absolute worst times of your life. Got to be back. I guess college, I mean, if you're doing this, college got to be very quite late, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you're just going to class for more. There's nothing matters. 45 minutes a day. Listen to me.
You do not have to do your homework, and you do not have to buy books. Look at now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have.
Exile in North Carolina. We have, yeah, some definitely some high school kids. Because definitely my brother listens. I think my little sister listens.
They're both high school kids. Great. It matters now. You have to do anything ever.
Never do work. You have to do your high school homework. Because I did fail. You do have to do that one.
I just heard. College is so, it's so suggested. It's really nothing. I'll tell you the other secret to college.
How about this for a take? College is easy. It is. It was so much easier than high school.
Oh my god. And this is coming from Wiler, who was almost banned from college. Yeah, I've merely made it out of there. I think we're talking about this.
Yeah, we have. But yeah, but college, like you don't have to buy the books. You probably don't have to do the homework. As long as you do the one project they assign.
Yeah. You can show up at Wiler and I specials. You could just show up to class A, late. And B, drunk.
And no one will say or do anything about it. Of course not. Yeah. And guess what?
I fucking did great and college. College of preschool, not so different. Absolutely not. There's for sure, nap time in both.
Nap time. You get to fuck around the whole time. You spend a lot of time with your friends. He's not actually learning.
You're essentially the same way. Yeah. Just sitting around in your own filth. Dunkaroos and fucking.
When there's trouble, you have to call Mommy and Daddy to fix it. Bro, let's talk amenities. So amenities at school. I don't know what people that do.
School in Knox, California, the whole situation was. Right. But in my day, the one very quiet thing about middle school and elementary school, elementary school got me pretty good, right? Yeah.
And if you're someone that doesn't know what I mean when I say elementary school, you're like a grade school or whatever, I don't care about you. Wait, why are we calling elementary school very good? Can I make the case that is very quiet lit? You may try.
I do feel like the stuff that I learned in elementary school was the stuff that actually ended up kind of mattering. The only things that stuck with you. Right. Like nothing in high school math that I learned, for example, is worth a shit.
I'm not a kid. I'm never doing trigonometry. But like regular basic arithmetic, great. Thank you.
The other benefit of elementary school is that fucking lunchtime was chaos, baby. You're playing in dodgeball. You're playing like you're shooting hoops. I kind of think elementary might get a three for me.
Yeah, but bro, puberty is more associated with middle school. That's probably true. I just feel like there's got to be something that sucked about elementary school. I was never psyched to go.
Well, I mean, the thing that sucked is that it wasn't preschool or kindergarten anymore. Right. I mean, I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that. Well, I mean, the thing that sucked is that it wasn't preschool or kindergarten anymore. Right. Is that it was like you had to do you were learning now, but like, I don't know, especially if you include kindergarten as elementary school, which like K through six is often considered elementary school, that's pretty weird to read, bro.
Like that's pretty fucking important. I don't care about importance. I want to have fun. Well, we're also talking about a day of school.
So like we're getting hung up on this. I still want to go through amenities real quick. Yeah, yeah. Hit me with amenities.
Before the California sugar ban, things were pretty fucking cool. So we had soda pops. We had warheads. We had sour patch.
That was a sour candy. That got banned because it was burning holes in the little kids tongues. Yeah, cowards. Get a better ton.
They replaced all this soda with power rate. Yeah. And it's like I don't think power rate is more healthy by a long. Like, it's a little bit more healthy made.
Yeah. The health enforcement. I put a very not. Let me tell.
Let me pair that with this thing that my middle school, shout up to Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood. You've seen the front of it in many motion pictures. It had this crazy thing where they're like, no more candy except you don't have to stay the shack on campus that sold baked potatoes all day long. We had a fucking baked potato shack.
Get yourself a baked potato, load up a sour cream and cheese and bacon and- What a wild thing! But no candy! What's crazy is that at my middle school they also served baked potatoes? Okay.
And I- I was convinced this was like a only my thing situation. It- it must have been like how can we get these kids to chill the fuck out? Oh, we'll sedate them. We'll give them a fucking baked potato.
It's a good way to make you just lick their class. You can get it with a side of rice at my school like yeah that's nice and healthy. Side of rice? Can I have more starch please?
Fuck off! No no no no no no. On my drunkest fat so night I don't even want that. Yeah I will say that you brought something up that is important is that both of our school experiences shaped by California schools and now that I've worked in East Coast schools and talked to people.
Exactly. It is not how things go so I'm gonna give you a very quite little amenity that I need at my school every day but especially on this very special day we're spending at school. I need some fucking outside space which seems like a given and is not. Okay.
So like I'm sure your whole high school experience was like mine where most of your schools can sit like- Where it looks like every fucking high school I've ever seen in a movie? Exactly where it's like there's breeze ways and like if there's hallways they're short and they lead to an outside area that is- My high school was so cookie cutter that I often see schools in anything and I'm like I wonder if that's where I went to high school. Right yeah and so like I worked at high schools in New York where there was no outside space whatsoever except for like the football field which they used for football and soccer not for kids like my students when they did PE went to a weight room. Where did they really lunch?
There's lunch rooms. Ew you gotta be inside. I guess I've seen those in movies too like a cafeteria. We had a cafeteria in our school but nobody really sat in it because it was- Our cafeteria was kind of outdoors it was like covered but it was open air.
Right yeah we had that and then they rebuilt it. Well come to cafeteria chat. Yeah we don't need calf chat. What other amenities on your day?
Okay hold on. Let's get really let's focus on the fucking topic. We're talking about a day of school. Okay what first period baby let's start there.
Well I'm gonna say classes. What classes are you going to? So like for me Wabu the eternal very not quite lit is math and science. It's not for me gang.
I can't do it. Yeah STEM is all of STEM is going in there sorry STEM. You're very important but not to us. The fuck is STEM?
Science technology math I think. That's what they call it now. Interesting. Yeah.
What's the E for? I don't know dude. Electronics. Electronics.
Education. It's like the most important subjects at school now probably. Wrong. I hate it.
I don't care. Yeah very pretty good English yeah. Yeah and like humanities. I feel like this is an obvious one.
Electives are the very quite lit. Yeah. What's your what's your day? Media class we did video shit.
I was on like your book a newspaper throughout my time. That shit was fun. Let me tell you the choices of the choice. I had this class.
It was independent study film class which meant exactly that. Nothing. I got to just make movies on my own and show them to the teachers and they would be like good job. Yeah.
I had a very similar situation where by the time I got to my senior year Mike and I shot the bike friend at the show had fucking dominated video production for a whole time there so the teacher was basically like you can do what we would do is we would we had that period after lunch and we would just skip that class because he was like you guys are going to do better than everyone else anyway so go ahead and just if you want to come and go as you please you can. We're like okay. Yeah thank you. Hey bro you do you go off campus for lunch?
Yeah so I changed amenities to lunch slash amenities and off campus lunch is very quite late to me. But okay to me it is not very quite late. What? Did you have for lunch?
Okay but I just told you that I could skip the class after lunch so that was okay but for a normal person who only gets to eat lunch during lunch. Yes yes yes. That shit was stressful as hell. I think we had exactly 30 minutes right?
Okay. The standard school. Sure sure somewhere from between 30 and like 40 minutes. So the one time I went off campus I got fast food I went to Jack in the box and I still was like oh I'm coming so close it was too stressful not worth it.
So it freaked me out I never did it again. This is a problem this is going to be a problem with us not a problem but a particular shade that colors our experiences we're both big weenies. Oh I don't like to break the rule. I know I was going to say I was going to say what you're saying only Matt.
I have a lot of people like me and you I have many of the student who show the fuck up. I didn't mean to fucking out us like that. Whenever they want. Well because you know you out at us bro.
I'm such a weener. Yeah I don't want to be late for my jacking the box. I have students who like will go to well when we are actually in school they'll drive to the in and out that is 25 minutes away one way. And it's like you know.
And then the line is 25 minutes. Right exactly. So it's like cool you'll be back in time for the final bell. Yes sweet.
I mean pretty genius. See that's the problem. Well and I had let me just tell you because I have a lot of lunch time. campus lunch and then like, in parentheses, if you're not a big fucking wiener.
Yeah. That's very quite lit. And if you are a wiener. So the other negative with off campus lunch is sometimes you're stupid.
All the time. Because you're a dumb idiot kid. So like for me, I did it right. I got to cut my class after lunch because my, what was happening is when I was 18, I could just sign myself out.
So I wasn't getting cuts. I was signing myself out. So still a big narc, like Wilder. But I would go get sandwiches because that's always my go to.
And that's fine. But like, a lot of times I had this kid who, as a teacher, who would go to off campus lunch, he would walk to 7-Eleven. He would get a bottle of soda. And he would get a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
And that was his lunch. That should be, if you're 7-Eleven, you should call the kid's parents, I think. You should have some sort of obligation. But the problem is, when you're a kid, you're invincible.
I know, it's true. That's all you need to live. And you would obviously, you would bet that that kid's. Honestly, that sounds like very quite lit to me.
7-Eleven lunch. You're going to make it back in time. You're going to fill up on SPKs. So first time this kid did this a bunch of times.
But I remember specifically the first day because he got back. He had me right after lunch. He popped up with that Ben and Jerry's, peeled off. The interior little film was very excited.
I know you're desk stupid. That shit's going to melt. Of course I don't have a spoon. And if I did, I'm not giving it to you.
So you could eat ice cream in front of all of us. You have big freak. Also, don't forget, someone's got some pretty good hot food. I know.
I mean, look, 7-Eleven lunch I'm fine with. Very quite light because I do think that going to get two taquito rollers. I just think that that specific move, buying a $5 pint of Ben and Jerry's, is the worst lunch. Let me take this up a notch.
Yeah, go ahead. Is after school a thing? I mean, it's our school day, baby. So what do you do?
Yeah, so after school, I love to roll with a few of the squad. And that's when we get some food and really ruin our dinner. You get four o'clock, you hit Panera at four o'clock. And at fucking, in my middle school, you're right down the street from this tiny little place called Pizza Guy.
And that's where everybody fucking hung out. Yeah, baby. We had the Nations. It's just get a little grilled cheese sandwich.
I would just surprise Nations. Just get a cup of mayo. No, that's how you get the grilled cheese, baby. After school lunch.
I'll tell you something that was very not quite lit that I experienced a lot after school. Fucking practice, bro. Have you got a sports practice? Fuck that.
Oh my God. So the most obvious after school, very not quite lit, is homework. Oh, yeah. Homework.
Attention. Yikes. No, I disagree. I think that's pretty, pretty good.
Oh God. Tell me why. What? Cred.
Oh, you're talking Cred. If you get detention in the middle of class, you tell me that little Tina Johnson's not going to be like, okay. Yeah, okay. Fine.
That's fair. That's fair. I'm going to put, I think we used this one a lot, but I'm going to put goings on. Uh huh.
A very not quite lit, so this is our day at school, right? Getting called to the office. Or maybe that's a two. That's a detention situation.
Yeah, call to the office. Well, because sometimes it's like, sometimes it's like, it's annoying because you have to talk to the principal because you're in trouble. Sometimes it's like, you're fucking idiot. I mean, mad respect to all the school counselors out there, but sometimes it was the worst to get called in and be like, oh, Miss Brahming wants to see you.
And then you go to Miss Brahming's office and she's like, let's talk about your transcript and you're like, jeez, this is nothing I want to do right now at all ever. I didn't even know if our school had accounts there. It did, dude. It did.
That's the law. It had to have. Yeah, right. What is principal category?
I think staff. Let me tell you a very not quite lit principal, which was our principal. He looked like Freddy Krueger. Okay.
I like that. You don't like that? No, bro. It's a nightmare.
I'm going to go on down the street even lean into it as very pretty good. I like when a staff member is just a big freak kind of I got a very quiet for you. Go on. You're going to hate it.
Hot teacher is dog. Hot teacher. I mean, as a teacher, I hate it. But as a student, objectively it was.
Yeah, it's a big, it was a big thing. You just you have the hot teachers. That's it. You do.
And even if they're not hot, every school, every group of people has a hottest of that group of people. Who's your hot teacher, bro? My homero teacher. Spanish for me.
It's weird. The one that got away. You know, I hate like, and this is a type of teacher retire already, bro. You obviously hate us.
You hate this job three years away from retirement treats everyone like shit. My high school, I feel like I'm not going to talk about it here because it's just, I do not have the time. Anyone who knows me has heard me talk about how fucking whack my high school was ours was so fucking insane. We just did some like, I tell people stories about this high school and people are like that sounds fake.
But one of the things our teachers did was curse and that was so tight. I think it's medium. It's a huge medium to me. But we were fired.
Bro, we're the school, we're the student at this point. Yeah, but I fired up. But I, so at my last, we hear these teachers saying the F that F that very bad, that F word, well, not the bad, bad F word. The fuck is one of the right?
I understand. Yes. Not the actual one we're not allowed to say. My problem with this is sometimes teachers wield it irresponsibly and it becomes like, but that is not a child's problem.
No, it is. Like I'm telling you at this last school I worked at, there was a teacher who that was his thing. He was like, Hey, just like on the first day he was like, I don't give a fuck about not, you know, following the rules or whatever. We're here to learn and whatever it felt.
That guy sounds cool as shit. No. And that's the thing is about 80% of the kids were dumb, dumb like you. And then 20% were like, this ding dong.
If you said that, I would fucking roll up like, Oh, no, I'm an cursing teacher. Dude, did he fucking run and do like a line of high fives after that or what? No, he fucking sucked. Did you know people that like didn't have a fourth period sometime?
I feel like I would talk to some people and they'd be like, I got free period. Yeah. How did you achieve this Spencer? So all of my friends had that but me because my stupid ass failed classes early on.
Obviously having an off period is very quite lit. Yeah. And let me tell you the very quiet lit is one, which is something that I knew someone that had this didn't have first period. Yeah, that's so tight.
Can you even imagine? And that first period is great because so much dumb shit happens after school that sometimes a last period off is not that great because it's like, OK, well, I have an hour and a half before I have to be back on campus for the leadership meeting or whatever. Oh, meeting, dude. And that's an after school.
That's got to be a one, right? I think like, OK, where does like student government fall? I mean, that's so very not quite leadership. So we're going to put meetings and leadership fucking nerds that were in like student government.
I'm running for treasurer of high school. Yeah. Unfortunately, all those people went to better colleges than us. It definitely make more money than us.
So it paid off. Yeah, but like they still went to leadership. I know. Like sure, you're making $130,000 a year now, but who really won?
Me or you? You somebody that money to buy a friend, you fucking nerds. I hate it. Goings on.
I think like rallies and assemblies is a two. Do you agree with that? No, I think it's a very quite late. You're leaving class.
Oh my God. Sometimes it's so boring. Not more boring than class. Yeah, bro.
But you ever think about what if you are missing your elective, your favorite class? Well, I would raise out for that. I never had like a stupid assembly like in movies where they're like, we're going to talk to you about STDs or whatever. All our shit was like for fun reasons.
We had that in middle school. I think I've talked about this on this before, but we always did this performance. And my little brother who is 16 years younger than me went to the same middle school and they're still doing it and it's called Nightmare on Pew-Bridgy Street. Oh my God.
And like the only thing that everyone always remembers is that they, one of the bars from one of the songs was normal, normal, normal. Am I normal? And like it just haunts me to this day. That sounds good.
I'll tell you what is a three to me? A fucking drill, bro. Like a fire drill where you did like earthquake drills. Oh, yeah, that's the cream of the crop because you just got to go outside and stand.
Oh yeah, you're just fucking around with your fre- Whoa, earthquake! Did you ever get a teacher? Where am I? I had a teacher that did this.
Ooh, if you still work in there, go tell him to suck a dick. He once was like, I don't care about that fire drill. We have work to do. Math teacher.
Oh my God. That's the most math teacher dog should I ever heard in my life. He was like, I don't care about that. It's just a drill.
We got shit too. I wanted to get his head off. And like, you know, we know the teachers know about the drills maybe not a day in advance, but enough in advance that like- And also the teacher's got to enjoy it too. Yeah, big time.
As soon as I know I'm like, oh baby, I'm not teaching for another at least 30 minutes. You're joking. You're joking me. That's a cakewalk for me, baby.
Of course. We need to be outside in the sun. Especially in New York when I never got to be outside. Oh, yes, please.
I got a very not quite lit staff maneuver. I know this is annoying for a teacher, but like the person who stops you from packing up your bags in that last like two minutes. I am that guy, baby. The bell is not fucking dismiss you.
I dismiss you. I hate. Exactly. Like what really does it take you longer than 15 seconds to put your fucking notebook in your backpack and zip it up?
Well, if you're a big fucking nerd and you got your pencil box. Oh, gear got to be a category in pencil boxes. I think a three. In elementary school, be in the sky.
There's a girl that sat in between us and her pencil box had a mirror in it and we would make faces at each other. Yeah, big time. Very quietly. Pencil boxes are sick.
Except for they always broke. Huh? For me? Shit was broke a month in.
Well, not only is not the pencil box broke, it's the pencil I put in the box broke immediately. I opened it. It was just like a wreckage of pencil. Maybe pencil boxes are two because it's kind of a wordfulness maneuver.
I think it's a one. Do you remember the mechanical pencil epidemic of fifth grade? What does that mean? Everybody needed the freshest mechanical pencils.
Oh, sure. Yeah. And I remember people care. I was sick.
Mechanical pencils is the definition of a three gear. I was like, oh, I have .5, I have .7, I've got .400. My disorganized ass never, I was always asking the teacher. You have a pen?
What is the best lunch on campus? Well, it depends. So, like, pizza day, what if this is our perfect school day? What are we getting for lunch?
Okay. So, my, my school, I think it's the classic pizza or like Chalupa. Just give me the classics. Well, my school had a like, what was basically a subway where you could make a...
You piece of shit. It was so tight. So you could just ask for like, yeah, ham and turkey. And I went there every, this is the biggest fat so shit.
I went there every day. So the lady that worked there, the lunch lady like knew me. So she would be like, do you want some extra olives or whatever? I'd be like, you better believe it.
Oh, cool. Classic case of friends with a lunch lady. Yeah, big time. Bro, it's also squad got to be a category.
Yeah, I suppose so. Well, I don't know what we're gonna put in. Well, lunch lady seems like a two. Lunch lady is definitely a two.
Yeah, all of it. Because it's tight, but also that's the universal sign of someone who's no friend. Yeah, you can't let people know that she's a part of your squad. That's like a wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
We had these dank Chalupas in elementary school and we had like pizza, which is sort of of 7-eleven lunch because their pizza really takes me right into style back to my elementary school pizza. So, the cafeteria food is a two almost across the board for me. Yeah, but what's the perfect? I guess you got your weird deli sandwich.
Yeah, I'd say the perfect one for me. We also had a, it can't be a very quite late, just because it's so stupid. We had a venting, one of those cup of noodle venting machines that would pour the hot water into it. Oh, that's kind of fancy.
I like that. Aww. Honestly, cup of noodles could be a three. I don't think so because you feel like a little poor, trust me, as from experience.
Yeah. I was getting the cup of noodles because it wasn't. It's also like, we're lunch tickets. Where do we put that?
I was like psyched about the fact that I had them, but also made me feel like a poor. And then I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's because you are a poor and yes. Yeah.
Man, I remember being in like the line, the lunch ticket line to get your lunch ticket and they would like see if you had any debt. Damn, dude, you got to do that to fourth graders. That's crazy. What did you call the thing, the break that comes before lunch?
Damn, dude, it sucks. Everyone has a different word for this and mine is the dumbest. My school is really bad. My high school I went to was like a very entitled like bunch of white honky.
I could smell it. We have the same one hit me. Is it brunch, dude? Oh, no.
God, fuck off. What do you go to school in the hamptons? Dude, they called it brunch. Listen on the schedule is brunch.
Her and her are still tighter than mine. Nutrition. Oh my God. Jesus Christ.
They called it nutrition in elementary school. We called it recess. And then middle, I think like halfway through middle school, it might have honestly coincided with the sugar band. Right.
That makes sense. I remember saying that to people like in college, you're like, oh, yeah, I used to know these people are nutrition. And if you'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Nutrition.
You sound like an alien. It is time for nutrition. But they did have, oh, they did have different hot items for brunch and they fucking slap. Oh, that's true.
There was a separate little, little menu. Oh my God, bro. We had these, oh, it's coming to me. These burritos.
Oh, yeah. Okay. A burrito seems very quite lit for a very quiet lit. Yeah, it is very quiet lit.