Hello and welcome to another episode of the Lore Boys, the number one fake history podcast. My name is James. Who else is here? It's me. It's Peter. It's also Ethan. I have bad news. I lost the corner office, dear listeners, lore folks. Jamie is standing up. He's asserting dominance over me and Peter right now. He's intimidating us. I'm scared. I feel cowed. I'm just, I gotta give up the office. I gotta give him the office. From Jamie today.
The story behind it is I messed up my neck and shoulder at the gym months ago. I got better for a while, but I just tweaked my neck yesterday. And now I can't sit comfortably in a chair for long enough to do a podcast. So I'm standing up. I've kind of got a stand-up comedian thing going here. You remind me of Sumito Media right now. Just like walking around, just reacting to stuff. Good. I like that. I like him. Yeah, he's funny. I like Google on Sumito Media. He's friends with Internet Historian. Yeah, and many kudos and ordinary things. I think it's a good little, a good group of guys who all make me laugh.
Yeah, I don't mean reviews and stuff. Yeah, I don't at all enjoy this kind of content, but I will say one of the most recent videos is this picture of Mr. Beast on a white background and says Mr. Beast, which is like on brown fur. Yeah, there's a bunch of like, there's a bunch of allegations going on with Mr. Beast right now, but Mr. Beast is having a bad year. Hey, he's a good guy. Just because he hires pedophiles and blinds people, like it's not that bad, okay? So, okay, I'll give you guys the story. Speaking of scandalous things on how I broke, I threw out my neck or my, your pussy and your crack. Basically, yeah.
During coitus, I blew out my own back. Hell yeah. And I'm not sure if it was then or afterwards when I was parading around the house with a guitar naked, singing songs and dancing around being an idiot. Either way, I hurt my neck naked yesterday. Fingering that neck, huh? Yeah. Not doing so great today. A lot of laying on my back. I was just imagining Jamie tastefully censored in Homer's oxygen tent that gives him sexual power center for himself nude. Yeah.
Yeah, so today we're going to be covering some SCP. I noticed in the Prime, folks. So if you're a patron, I don't think we have any new ones this week. We might. I can shout out Rich Winsma, who subscribed one week ago. I don't remember. I did not see the email, but thank you regardless, Rich, for your support. Cool. So if you're a patron, you have access to an extra few channels, including the Prime folks. And some people were a little disappointed that we didn't get spooky enough for them. And I noticed... I took the bones for like 90 minutes straight. It was fucking ridiculous. He even talked about a blood war. The scariest body part.
What? Is it? Blood. Is blood a body part? Blood's what makes a penis scary because it's when it gets hard. Hard enough to put your back in. Hard enough to break your own neck. Broke my neck in the bone war. Did Jesus get hard enough he could break his own neck? So to meet some of our patrons' demands, I legally mandated community service and get them what they want.
Yeah, I did come back to the SCP Foundation, and we're going to do SCP-093 today, which is a few different things, but we'll get into it. It was specifically requested by someone named Tuna Salad in the Discord. I like Tuna Salad a lot. Me too. How do you do that? I've heard of doing it with a piano, but...
This was asked for, SCP in general was asked for by Commodore Turtle, who was asking for more spooky stuff. So this was kind of a gift to Commodore. Here's more SCP because you wanted it. And it's kind of spooky, so we'll get into it. As well as Ed Gein's Belt, Samwell, Drago, and many more. A lot of people like SCP. Yeah, it's not an evergreen topic for us, but it's definitely an evergreen request, I think. Yeah, totally. And I just finished The Witcher season three. I had another Witcher episode all lined up. I was like, you know what? The people are asking for something. I'll give them this. We can always come back to The Witcher later.
Cool. Yeah. So we're going to cover SCP-093, which is an object, an alternate universe, and maybe even a deity. So that gets really complicated. We're going to have to start at the object level and kind of expand from there.
I like Jamie's standing streamer setup, honestly. I just wandered away now. What's going on here? The problem is he has a desk stand for his mic, so he just has it extended to max. I can't imagine. It's good if it feels better. I can't imagine this is great for your neck and shoulders. It's better than sitting down for whatever reason. Sorry, I had to open my door, which is behind me, and let the dog in. She was barking because she wanted to be on my bed for the podcast. It's kind of bullshit that she's not on camera for me and Pete. Yeah, maybe I'll just move the camera there. I was originally going to go off camera and just lay on my back. On the floor? Yeah.
Jamie just immersed in five inches of water to take the weight off his body. He clearly doesn't need them. Okay, no, yeah, well, I don't need the powers, I need the sexual defense, you know? Yeah, you've got all your offense, yeah. Well, that's defense, good offense. That's how I've always engaged in Coyness. I've always been told, not such a great D for me, but... Oh, yeah, weird, I get that too. So, this is an object. But I got good O. Good O, absolutely.
So this is an object first. It's a red disc carved from stone composite resembling Cinnabar, which I believe Cinnabar is like something to do with Mercury. I think it was used in old-timey jewels. old-timey jewelry and it was kind of poison for your skin but people would wear it anyways well you know what i was gonna say red disc i'm not even that scared but now you say it's poison that is kind of scary so it just it resembles cinnabar so it looks like the poison stuff but it does take different shapes so we'll see okay so it could take a scarier shape like a like a circle with a scary face on it Circle with a jack-o'-lantern face. It actually just changes colors. It doesn't change shape. The shape is always the same. It is a disc. It is 7.62 centimeters in diameter, and that fits into most palms. You would know, Mr. Paul. That's three inches for the Americans out there. Oh, it's like a GameCube game.
Is that how big a GameCube game was? I don't know. I was just thinking of a small CD, and I remember the GameCube had small CDs. Oh, it's funny. It's not like a GameCube game, and I was thinking... I instantly thought of a GameCube memory card. I said, what an oddly dimensioned thing for a... Couldn't you have thought of something round? Couldn't you have thought of a disc for a second there? A small disc. A disc went smaller. Like a PS Vita disc or something. Wasn't the PS Vita disc mounted on plastic rails or something?
Yeah. They were in like a plastic case. Yeah. And then the, they just had a little square where the reader was and the disc would spin inside the plastic case. Right. Yeah. For anybody listening at home, the PS Vita was a handheld console that Sony made up, but never actually existed, which is why you've never physically seen one in real life. Or maybe it was, I'm thinking PSP. I didn't have the Vita. I had the PSP, but it might be similar. That's a joke. It was a catastrophe. Yeah.
We tricked them into releasing Morbius twice. They canceled Concord and fired everybody. You think we could gaslight Sony after releasing the PS Vita again? Yeah, for sure. Let's get together. We have God on our side. So anyone picks up this mercury sulfite looking bisque, it'll actually change colors. Kind of like a mood ring. Like the lights behind you right now. The lights from my PC are changing colors. Jimmy's in RGB mode right now. This exhaust port is flashing. I told the guys before the podcast, about half of this was written. I've taken about...
six showers today because I just need the hot water to give my neck relief. So I wrote a lot of this on my phone on Google Docs while completely nude in the shower. You did a lot of stuff nude recently and it's not been good for me. I had to take off work today just to be more nude today. I just, and I'm, hey, I'm no physiotherapist. I just cannot imagine standing and start looking down at your phone to type has got to be better for you. Well, it's because I can keep my chin tucked and not forward. And yeah, and sitting down is just the worst. And then I also...
I also lean on my left arm when I sit down, which is my neck is connected to my arm. And the nerve in my C6 goes all the way to my middle finger. So I'll get numbness in my whole arm and sitting down really exacerbates it. This isn't perfect either. This isn't perfect either, which is why I might not be on the bonus tomorrow. Because I'm limiting my... I'm playing through the pain for the SCP game here. This is the immense physical sacrifices we take to make the lore boys for you. We spent shifts down in the...
Naked and Jamie's shower minds. Normally we all get naked in the shower together, but Jamie was injured this week, so we couldn't crowd him. Yeah, exactly. He uses his left hand for the Dutch rudder, right? But his fingers are numb, so he's just bashing it. Left hand for the Dutch rudder, right hand, type in the script out on your screen. That's how we produce the lower voice. I give myself a neck injury, so it feels like somebody else is doing it. Paralyzed stranger. Yeah, so the colors of this disc, SCP-093, normally red, but it'll change colors based on who's holding it.
And there's links of this to the types of knowledge they have or the types of regrets, their life experience. Everybody kind of gets a different color, and it's not based just on body heat like a mood ring would be. Sure. Grumpy the Dwarf gets red. Happy the Dwarf gets yellow. Dopey the Dwarf gets blue, you know? I would think blue is more sleepy. Dopey, I don't know. Easy gets green. Yeah, for boogers. That's a dopey color. I mean, Dopey wears green. You have the purple hat. Still the subject of the best email ever written, which I've talked about on the show before. Snow White gets black.
Okay. I think the queen would give her like a poison mood ring. It's just a disc of mercury. Yeah. It just makes her just like a little off, you know, just a little irritable. So you hold this thing, it changes colors. That's pretty neat. What happens when you were, if you're to drop this thing, if you're to drop this thing or put it down, it will look for the closest mirror and it will roll towards it as fast as, as it little, little thing can. Okay. It'll punch through walls. If it's able to, it'll, it'll like, it'll get to a mirror. Okay. Yeah.
They don't know how it gets going faster, but it gets going real fast. And the only thing that stops it is a mirror, and there's never any damage done to the disc or the mirror. Okay. Okay. So I pick up the disc. It shows yellow because I'm a happy guy. Yeah. Then I say to myself, I got to get the shower to write a podcast group with the boys. I put it down on the kitchen or the bathroom counter. We don't keep a mirror in the bathroom because none of us wants to see ourselves, right? I just want you to describe me to me.
Yeah, exactly. I want to see myself through your eyes. And then it just rolls into the neighbor's place through the wall kind of thing. If that's the closest mirror, absolutely it would. It'll find a way to the closest mirror. It knows somehow. Will it just knock against the wall? Can it climb a wall to like tuck up against the mirror? It says that it just rolls and it knocks through. It doesn't seem to climb over things. It's more of a work through a problem, not work over a problem. Right, all right. Yeah, because my mirror is on the back of my door behind me. But it's like, you know, like a foot off the ground. It's a full length mirror. My haunted mercury disc knocked over all my anthills again. Gosh dang it. Right through my ant farm.
Yeah, that's what it does. So the SCP Foundation. What do you guys remember about the SCP Foundation? You're just like, yeah, this disc that finds mirrors. I'm just like, wow, I can't believe we've left SCP off the episode list for so long. Fascinating. I remember very little. I know that Control, which is a game I love very, very much, was heavily inspired by it, but it's just like objects or beings or people that all kind of have a different paranormal effect. There's Euclid class threats, there's Cheater class threats, and I don't remember the other one.
and like there's like the sap foundation is like trying to secure contain and protect they're like studying them and containing them in their laboratories and like testing them and shit and seeing how they interact with each other so it's just like it's like kind of spooky sci-fi interdimensional um fiction all written by like a community of regular people there's not like an official canon right it's like it's crowdsourced uh it's like crowdsourced sci-fi basically yeah that's a that's fair to say i think it's so i remember there's dr bright who's in charge and he's like he can throw an amulet at people and take over their body just like kill them and take over their body which he does as a prank sometimes there's um Not only objects, there's also monsters, like the... Alligator thing that can't die. Yeah, the alligator thing that can't die, the concrete guy. There's people, like the little girl who takes pictures of people. I don't remember how she works. There's a fat guy who, like, appears in your bed when you're in your oxygen tent getting carving out your sexual powers. There's characters from the Bible in the facility. Cain, right? Or Abel. One of them. Both? Both of them. Yeah, well, one of them was on the bottom of the ocean, right? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You guys remember a lot. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's cool stuff. It's yeah. And now we got a little Sonic the Hedgehog. Only when he's in his go fast form. Yeah. Yeah. This is only the beginning. It's not that interesting just yet. But this one thing really opens up because like I said, it's an object first, then an alternate universe. And there might be even a god at play here. So this is where we move into the alternate universe. What happens when it hits a mirror? It just rests against the mirror. But let's say someone's touching it. The mirror becomes a portal.
Okay, cool. Wait, if someone's touching the mirror or someone's touching the disc? Touch it, holding the disc. So you touch the disc, it changes the color to you. Then that becomes a portal when you're touching the mirror. Oh, you can put it up against the mirror. Yeah. I don't think it's like super clear. Maybe if it's touching the mirror and then you touch the mirror, it'll also become a portal. But what's important is it turns into a portal, mirrors into portals. Is this like Neo from the Matrix? Does Neo turn mirrors into portals?
He has a pet hedgehog that goes really fast. It's not shown in any of the movies or comic books. Right. Yeah. I'm just going to look up Neo the Hedgehog real quick. I'll post it in the voice chat. Don't worry. We need that. No, but they use a mirror. Phone booths and mirrors are like portals out of the Matrix, I believe. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Phone booths are for sure. I don't remember mirrors specifically. Yeah, Neo gets covered in liquid glass at some point when he's just like, no, don't live. I love that image of Morpheus just like, no, Neo, don't live your happy normal life in the Matrix. Come out here and eat sloppy porridge with the rest of us.
So what do we do whenever we're in the SCP Foundation and we want to test something like a creepy portal to another universe? We get a criminal. We get a D-class personnel. And we use the lives that we deem. They're already sentenced to death, basically, in our eyes. So we might as well do some cool science before that. A guy who got caught with weed in his pocket three times in California who doesn't want to die in the woods as a firefighter gets sacrificed to the disc, right? That's right.
So, we got our first guy. A little bit about him. He is a murderer. And he attempted suicide after the murder. So, coward too, I guess. My cats lit Iris openly last week. But they picked him up. He ended up being a prisoner of the D-Class. And they send him through. He picks it up. It starts to glow a blue. No, sorry, a green. And he goes through. Do we know what the colors mean?
We don't get actual confirmation on what the colors mean, but on the SCP-093 wiki entry, which is where all the SCP stuff is stored, you can see five different trips into the mirror with five corresponding colors. It doesn't really say what they mean. Red seems to be the good one because it's the original color, and there's only one guy who's not a criminal who goes through and he gets red, but you get everything. You get pretty much every color, and they don't really explain it. It's just so you can kind of delineate each one of the trips into the mirror world.
Great, by the way. Green is the poison level. Blue is the water level. Brown is just the regular platforming level. Or the Egyptian desert level, too, right? Lighter brown, sure. Light gray is the industrial level, of course. Dark gray is the junkyard level. Red? The love level. Ooh, spoilers. I read the script.
We were talking about Neo the Hedgehog, the different level, the different portal levels. And now like all I can think of it is the absolute banger written by Michael Jackson, RIP, in like Chemical Zone in Sonic the Hedgehog 2. That's a bop. Yeah, the bass is sticking it too. I love that. It's so good. If the disc does end up going to the light brown Egyptian themed world, what if you put a mirror on top of the pyramid? I can see the ancient Egyptians doing that, right? Put a mirror up there, why not?
It can't go up. We just established. It can't climb walls. We can only go through. Pyramids are its weakness. Pyramids at the time, probably, were still kind of more filled out. Like, don't you think they'd have a smooth exterior? It would go right up, like a big ramp. That's how I picture it, too. Really? I don't think the Pyramids of Gees... I think the Pyramids of Gees are, like, a brick pyramid. No? Weren't they so smooth they, like, looked, like, reflective from a distance? And it would be, like, blinded? I think they were, like, allegedly painted white and had, like, gold caps. But I think it's just because they're 5,000 years old is why they're, like, kind of steppy now. I always thought it was filled in, like, 5,000 years ago. Me, too. I never thought they were filled in. I don't know.
Well, either way, that's how they would have gotten destroyed because I guess it would have just ran back and forth underneath until the periods crumbled and the mirror was on the ground. Right. Well, then a ziggurat would keep him out at least. Easy peasy. Yeah, absolutely. Anything with stairs. A ziggurat is just big stairs. True. Get in it.
Yep. So we got this one D-class personnel, right? We're going to send someone through the mirror, see what's on the other side. We give him a gun. We give him a body cam, which he's got to keep that on no matter what goes on over there. Okay. Yeah, he's like, what the fuck, cop? You guys turn him off. It's like, hey, rules for me and not for D. Okay, buddy, get through the mirror. Okay, this guy's loaded, right? He's just like, cross-country, he's like, rabbit with a pocket watch, rabbit with a pocket watch, rabbit with a pocket watch. What if I, okay, but what if, let's say, I get to the other side and there's somebody there who doesn't want to just be arrested easily. Then can I turn it off?
They're just like, we didn't really think of that, did we? What if there's on the other side of the mirror, there's a person of color just acting normal? Then can I turn it off? What if I, let's say I go to the other side of the mirror and there's a businessman there who wants to make a small donation to the policeman's charity, Charity Ball, at the end of the year? Then can I turn it off? It turns off automatically, actually. It's got NFC. It's like when you tap your debit card. Oh, perfect, perfect.
Okay. So they send him through. He's got a gun. He's got a body cam. They even give him a knife. They don't tell him that they gave him a knife. I like that detail. There's a knife on his person who does not know about it. It's a, it's a can of peanuts when he pulls the top off. It's like a snake coming out. I was just thinking like out of habit, they're still planting evidence on this guy. The webcam, the webcam or the webcam, Jesus, the body cam turns on specifically when it, when a crime is committed and the knife just ejects out onto the ground in front of the perp.
Yeah. So he steps through and what's on the other side. Oh, there's my eight o'clock alarm. It is 8 p.m. Good morning. I mean, for the listeners, Jamie has an eight o'clock alarm, which goes off every single day. It's for nothing. There's no reason he needs it. And Pete and I constantly neg him to just delete it. And he refused to. That was stubborn pride at this point. It's kind of a, it's a good check-in. I always know where I am at 8 p.m. Fair enough. Yeah. The next time John F. Kennedy gets shot at 8 p.m., you'll remember where you were. Yeah. Yeah.
If I need an alibi, I'll always remember where I was at 8 p.m., you know? Yeah. I was at the book depository, but then my alarm went off. I was already down on the street. I was eating a can of peanuts. I swear I don't know where that knife came from. So there I was about to crack into a nice salty box of peanuts. Yeah. So our D-class goes through. He's armed. He's dangerous. And he has a cable on his back, too. So they can always pull him out if they need to. Classics sent someone through a portal. Tire rope around him. Yeah. Absolutely.
Yeah, I remember our original SCP episode. We had like the Shepard's Crook that was used in like vaudeville theater was the safety that we had set up. I remember drawing that being very fun. Right. Yep. So he goes through and he lands in a green field with a mirror behind him. So it looks like there's a way back and it is a mirror. And he's in just a nice green field. The body cam footage, very green, by the way. Everything's tinted greener than it actually is. And later on, they find out that that was only through the body cam footage. They couldn't see it from...
from the D-class's point of view, but his thing glue green whenever he touched against the mirror and held it. So they think it has something to do with that. Is it glue or it's glowed? I like glue. Jamie huffed enough of it that he forgets which word it is. Glue, green. Like your computer right now. Yeah, I know. It's very fitting for this story that your computer's just shifting to all the RGB. Yeah, it's good. It's a happy little accident. Yep.
Just like breaking your neck while you're fucking happy little accident. Yeah. Breaking your neck more, honestly. So he starts walking through the greenfield, just having himself a little gallivant and seeing what's going on. Why not? A frolic? A frolic. You see is that there's a spot in the field where all the vegetation is dying and he approaches it. Want to see what's going on there. There's a hole in the ground. Okay. Was it made for him? Is there a bomb on a log? There's a criminal on a log and a hole in the ground in a mirror universe and SCP.
Yeah. No, so he looks at this hole and he radios back or however they communicate. I don't know if he talks through the cable. He, like, picks a cup off his back where the cable's connected and talks back to them. He's got, like, the Navy SEAL Velcro. Like, he's got the knife, the little L-shaped flashlight, and then just, like, the Dixie cup on his string just, like, pulls it off. He's got two tin cans. One is a Billy Goat bait and the other one's a communication device. Right. So I don't know how he radios back or talks back, but he does say, hey, guys, I found a hole. And they're like, yep, we see it through your face cam. Go ahead and just climb on in that thing.
Oh, the life of a D-class citizen in the SCP world, huh? Yeah. So he goes ahead and he climbs in. He lowers himself down from his own rope. And he kind of just lowers himself slowly. Great upper body strength from all these murdering, I guess. Or just like dancing in the yard. True. Right.
I benched today. I can murder somebody. Yeah, Jamie. Did you bench today? No, I can't. And there was his left ear glued to his shoulder. Stupid RGBs going off in the background. Cool, okay. Have you thought about getting that spongy ring that old people wear? Or an airplane pillow? Do you think that would help?
Yeah, I don't know. I have a physio. I have a not-doctor looking at it, so we'll see what he thinks. Every time I go into our shared Google Drive to, like, download the artwork every week so I can put it on Instagram, one of the most recent photos that all of us have interacted with is just called, like, averagehumanhead.jpg, and it's just, but when it's, the thumbnail on Google Drive is condensed, so it's just a guy's forehead and the bridge of his nose every time I open it up. You got me thinking earlier about what benching in the yard would look like at the SCP Foundation. There'd be, like, Cain and Abel, like, just pushing plates. There'd be, like, a giant lizard-looking thing just doing curls and stuff. Well, that, like, peanut thing would only, it would say it's PB when you...
weren't looking right right oh yeah the the concrete like baby thing that twists your neck when you look away yeah yeah you have to bench it with your eyes wide open um yeah so he goes through lowers himself down the hole it's kind of like this overgrown tunnel at this point once he gets to the bottom uh he has a light too um that they gave him so he's able to light up the way and he walks and walks and walks down this long corridor and it's slowly he starts to see light fixtures um that look like man-made and it turns from an overgrown tunnel into more of a bunker And there's an awful smell. Real, real, real bad smell. Stinky syrup. Oh, bunker must. Hate that. I got a bunker that's just lousy with it, honestly. You got to get some doggy. Got a new product to clear out your bunker must. All right. Cocaine got him. So he gets to the end and there's three doors. One of them is like barricaded from this side and also locked. So he jiggles the handle. Something's barricaded in it. Or like someone on the outside barricaded something in.
That's what we could imagine. Yep. Okay. But we might find out something different later. Who knows? And then the second door, he just tries to rattle it open. It's locked. Third door opens. That's great. We got a door open. So the second door was barricaded from the other side, right? You have like neighbors barricading each other out. You have like the love triangle neighbors, like the top point barricades, the right point, the right point barricades, the left point, the left point barricades, the top point. Yep. And then a door that opens.
And he goes into the door and he finds a cot. He finds a bunch of water bottles. They're empty. He finds, like, old foodstuffs. And there's a magazine. And he walks towards the magazine. Yeah. Hubba hubba. The body cam, like the lens pops out, like the Awuga animation. Pops out on a spring. Oh, man. Mom found the wank bunker.
Yeah. That's where the must came from. Absolutely. Awful smell. He's walking towards the magazine to get some more information on this world that he's in, right? Sure. And as he's getting close to it, there's a loud screech. Screech! And he has put his hands over his ears. The door is also starting to shut. Of course. Of course. He has to make a quick decision. He's either got to crank one out or do I try and get out of the bunker. Yep. He's been in jail for so long. Been there, man. Yeah, don't worry. Yep. He makes it out of the bunker. At least out of that door. Okay.
and the door slammed shut, an opportunity to read the magazine is gone. You'll have to keep using the spank bank. You won't have a hustler anymore. The guys in the control room are like, what's going on? What's on the body cam right now? He's jacking off. Bring it back! Bring it back in! Let me see that hustler. No, you don't understand. This is an alternate dimension hustler. I don't know what these women are like. Think of the possibilities. More boobs. God damn it. It might just be boobs.
Whenever he gets out of the door, it's kind of scary now because things are happening without him touching things. So he starts to kind of back away to leave down the long corridor that he came down. And in the body cam, the SCP Foundation saw the barricaded door that was barricaded shut, creak open, just a crack, and a face look in, and then it closed. So like the one that... from his bunker we confirmed barricaded that one so i'm in front of a door i'm in front of a door it's closed there's a bunch of stuff in front of it it still peeks open a little bit okay so classic boards with nails is what i'm picturing yeah the video i watched had like a metal shelving unit like leaning against it kind of thing or uh you can imagine what you like yeah i'm sure yeah i do i do picture like peter boards nails like big cartoony nails but just the door itself like they nailed the boards into the door so it's easily it's reinforced yeah Yeah, so this is getting kind of scary. So he starts to get out of here. The SPP Foundation is like, hey, back out, back out. Like, we could probably use you again. We don't need to lose you this time. We got some info, so let's get out of there. So he gets all the way back to where the hole, where he lowered himself down with his own cable. And the cable's being pulled, so he's getting pulled up. And he's just like a claw machine grabbing Woody in Toy Story. He's getting pulled up.
That would be the equipment SP uses to rescue prisoners. It's just like the feeble carnival claw. It's like possibly dropping the D-flash back into the hole. He picks them 50 meters up in the air and they slip out and drops them back. It's funny you mention 50 meters because that's the metric that they said how far he climbed down. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before. I knew that. You guessed it. I knew it.
that rope was getting yeah uh he actually he radios back or communicates back to the scp foundation saying are you guys pulling me up and no one at home is pulling him up someone at the top of the hole is pulling him up oh well that's concerning yeah this is either very concerning or very comforting yeah he's like gonna bring him home that would have been nice but he gets up there and there's 37 um humanoid figures that are just have no features on the face whatsoever they're all creepy and they're standing around and you can clearly it says 37 you can count 37 of them and our d-class guy pulls out his gun and he starts firing 36 bullets not at the 37 people but next to the 37 people there is a 50 foot tall uh humanoid figure that's just a torso a head and arm so it's cut off at the waist dragging itself towards him 50 feet tall like yeah i saw some pictures of this thing it's very cool yeah if you google scp 093 this is what you'll see you'll either see the red disc or you'll see the brown humanoid uh torso things that will be kind of our monsters in this world for oh yeah got holes in his face
Yeah, very spooky. I kind of like Neo the Hedgehog better, but it is also very cool. Yeah, I would shoot at this thing probably. That's presumably where the other holes came from, right? Who knows? Yeah, so he's scared, terrified. He's backing up, shooting. He does get back to the mirror and they learn, okay, on the other side of this mirror, we've got giant faceless monsters and a bunch of smaller humanoids as well. That's pretty scary.
And I think we'll find out even more because we're going to send a few more D class folks into the mirror world here. But just after the break. All right. Welcome back to our podcast where we'll use your lives to further our agenda. So your next saucy. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just came back. Who's the person on the other side of the door? We never will find out. What? I was like, it just occurred to me. I was like, wait, Jimmy brought it up. Did somebody peek through?
And then we never found out who it was. Are we done with that? It's crowdsourced fiction. SAP is crowdsourced fiction. Not a whole lot of crowdsourced editors out there, I guess, to just be like, what's up with this plot point? Why did this happen? So we kind of will learn more about what happened and if there are people in this mirror universe. So that could have been a surviving human. That could have been one of the humanoids that he met at the top of the hole on his way out. The claw machine operators are like regular size, but also have no faces, right?
Yes, exactly. So there was 37 normal-sized humanoids, and then one big honking humanoid with no legs. Who barricaded that surviving human in? You know what I mean? Why were they barricaded in? Three aliens from Toy Story that live in the pit. Why did they barricade him in? They want to feed him to the big guy. This is where you get to jump in and go and edit the wiki page to either take that out or add a story as to why. Sid from Toy Story did it. He was going to torture them. My lore voice canon is that the little green guys want to cuck.
So they need a cuck in the one room. He can peek out and look at the guy get devoured. Oh, that's the cuck bunker. He just, yeah, he just like opened the Soviet bunker door with like the giant like screws that come out of the side. It opens up and all it is is just the corner of a hotel with a single secret. This giant like like a vault safe door is a tiny little silver key. You guys got me thinking more about that. You guys got me thinking more about that Hustler magazine because the big bad guy is just like a torso with no legs, right? So you look at the Hustler, you look at the Hustler and it's.
says, topless women, but it's just legs with no doorsteps. That's what the giant guy would want, but he can't pleasure himself, so he's mad about it. That's why he wants to eat you. I dare you enjoy bottom-only women. So we're going to bring our first woman to the story here, actually. We've got a lady who ran over two kids with a stolen car. Passing the Bechdel test. No, not that she talked to one of the kids she hit. We don't know if she did steal it from a woman. That's true, that's true.
Yeah, it's true. The car did all the action. And we will find out there are self-driving cars in this story. So that's good. Elon, you did it finally. Well, we know that Elon just pays people to remotely pilot apparently autonomous robots, right? So it might have still been a man. I mean, with him, definitely. Yeah, it might have been a man. But for now, we have a woman who ran over two kids with a stolen car and she got sent to SCP jail. And they decided, hey, let's try her out. Let's see what she gets when she goes through the... Let's take her for a test ride. It was attractive.
So, um, they get her, um, they give her the disc. It glows. Um, I forget which color, but it's not that yellow. It wasn't using her turn signals. That's just right. Colors don't actually end up referring to anything. So just choose a color. Um, but, um, not to criticize SAP writers too much, but that's like the fact that the colors don't mean anything is why.
Well, it's just to name the expeditions. So to be like, this is trip one, two, three, four, five. They did blue, green, yellow, violet, whatever. Maybe don't think of the writing as an exercising creative. Well, it is an exercising creative writing, no matter what. Don't think of it as a short story, though, I guess. Think of it as a Wikipedia page, right? And it's just, you know, some guy went and, or some guy or gal, or they them, went and edited a page. Or some self-driving car.
or some self-driving car elon musk via tesla when self-driving cars start editing elon musk wikipedia page jesus christ it is like bringing you into oncoming traffic to update his wikipedia page like you know in 15 years you're going to be driving down the highway uh and it's going to like it's going to be self-driving at that point the teslas will be only self-driving you won't be able to drive the steering wheel there will be no steering wheel and it'll basically like ask you mid-drive please rate your experience please rate your opinion of elon musk Yeah, there's like five stars up here on the windshield and just block every single angle of view. And if you pick one, it'll just drive you into income traffic, for sure. So we get our lady who did involuntary children's slaughter. Call her Gertrude. Gertrude. She goes on through to the other side. She broke on through? Broke right on through.
And what did she see on the other side is a farmhouse. Isn't that cute? Let's see a little farmhouse. We'll say... Okay, so we don't know what color it was, but we know it wasn't red. Because you said earlier that red is going to end up being the best color. So presumably...
Unless you're burying the lead here. Presumably this isn't the best color. And listeners, the reason this sentence is taking so long is because Jamie was doing something on his computer. I could pull up the test. The tests are blue, green, violet, yellow, red. I believe actually the first one I said it was the green test was the blue. The man in the bunker was the blue test. She would be the green test. I touched my beard on my tummy. It was so cold. Oh my god. I don't like that.
Since I'm standing up, I can't check my little websites without leaning in a little bit. That's fine. I did a great job damping. I don't think the listeners even knew. I think we got away with it. So farmhouse. We've got farmhouse, right? She walks up into the farmhouse. She sees some kids' bicycles outside. She goes in. Everything's kind of... Are they learning lessons? Well, the places they arrive might have something to do with their regrets in their past and stuff like that. There is kind of a weird link to that, so you could definitely drop parallels. You don't just pop it in my head. You guys ever seen the movie Flatliners?
No. It's about, like, university students who, like, found a way to briefly die and then experience the afterlife. And then they're, like, haunted in real life in their waking lives by, like, their greatest regrets. And I remember... Oh, is that what it was? I think so. It was a VHS that was rented for, like, me and my friends without, like, my buddy's parents didn't know. It's one of the earliest movies I remember seeing, like, Nudity, I think. Oh, nice, dude. Yeah. Do you have a bacon? Hanging dog? Nice. No, but you do get to see his, like, translucent CGI dog, I think, at Hollow Man, which I've never watched, but I've heard tell.
I watched The Martian last night, which is Matt Damon's wank bunker, actually, on Mars. It's good. It was a fun one. I watched Alien Romulus. I mean, more about this on the boner, I guess. Okay, so, farmhouse. She goes in. Bikes. There's people. They used to live here. What the frick? We knew that we at least had a wank bunker, but maybe on the other side of this mirror universe, there are or used to be people. But there's no people around right now. Madam, please check the garage for porno magazines, where there's just the lower half of women.
Okay. You sure you don't want me to look in the house, see if anyone's home knocking the door or anything like that before I... Draws first. Okay. Oh, I can't turn it off. You grinded all the buttons off, don't you remember? Yeah, when you were grinding the serial number off your body cam, you just grind off the power button as well. Who's shaking the rope, can I ask? It's like, rain? It's like, yeah, yeah! Yeah, so she goes in, she starts to explore. It's notable that everything looks like it's from the 1950s.
So it's got that aesthetic, but technology is a little more advanced. Like she finds a laptop, but it looks like it was somehow made in the 1950s. Like nine inches thick. Yeah, everything is like 1950s style. And will be in all of the portals we go through. I feel like a 1950s laptop would have like a cup holder, right? For your like whiskey dollar. Like while you're working kind of thing. Not bad. Yeah, it'd have mechanical keys for sure. Like typewriter keys on the laptop. Do you think it would have a touch screen, but it's like little fingers that's like up to touch the screen for you? Just touching a CRT. Little rubbery tabs on it. On the laptop, there's something called Faithful OS.
So the operating system, it's faithful OS. And every computer that we're going to find in this universe is going to have faithful OS on it. Okay. Also, if you look at the art on the walls, there's like pictures of like hands in like the prayer ring, like bless up stance right there. Sure. Okay. DJ Khaled, like fan house over here. Yeah. There's just like Jesus is hanging everywhere. A lot of religious imagery, a lot of 1950s, but technology is advanced. I'm in Oklahoma. Bring her right, bring her back, bring her back. Yeah. I mean, I picked that peach here. There's like crucified people in the background, right?
Maybe we didn't mention it before. But a lot of the pictures of the giant bottomless man have crosses, or crucified people specifically. Bottomless men and topless women, my kind of party. When I think of this, when I was researching this, I was just thinking of Bioshock the whole time. It was just weird, kind of more advanced technology and kind of magic-y, but also set in the past. So that's kind of what you can imagine, I guess. Bioshock, was it 50s aesthetic? I mean, yes, because it's set in 1960. Whatever, the world ends. The main event is New Year's 1960, so it ends in the 50s.
Right. It's Art Deco. Yes. It's the aesthetic. Underwater. So the lady also goes Gertrude or Gerda or whatever we called her. She goes Gertie. She goes down into the basement and she finds three human skeletons and an empty revolver next to it. Seems like Gertie. Sorry. What movie? What movie? Another movie that you should watch, a guy who's alone somewhere, is Moon, directed by David Bowie's son. Unfortunately, Kevin Spacey is in it. He voices the robot, but it's named Gertie.
And it's Sam Rockwell's in it. He's like my favorite that guy. Sam Rockwell's great. Yeah. Your favorite what guy? That guy. He's like one of those guys you see in a movie. You're like, hey, it's that guy. I thought he's a bad guy. Does he play a lot of bagels? So now we know it's very religious. There have definitely been people there. Tech's advanced. Laptop faithful OS. She looks outside the house and it is surrounded by the faceless figures, like the 37 smaller ones. Just like a bunch of little figures looking up at her at the window. How little? Child size? Human size.
I don't believe okay now you said like 37 is there specific and last time you said specifically 37 is there 37 again last time there was 37 I said like 37 this time so you wouldn't confuse it with the torso people it was like 37 human right away I don't know how many there are yeah okay but yeah if it's not like explicit that like there's 37 I thought no okay the woman wanders into a house 1950s but futuristic aesthetic she finds the bodies of three other explorers who've come before her right the pun is intended we'll get there in a second the three explorers ventured into this house at some point, saw a laptop, said, hey, I come from the future. That's beautiful. I'm going to rub one out. Open up the laptop. Faithful OS. There's no porn on that thing. Of course not. That's a sin. Yeah, so they go in the basement and shoot themselves. Oh, beautiful. Happens three times before he gets there and is like, well, I'm okay. I could go on, honestly. It could be three explorers, but it also, I like your take on it. It could have been the three humans who used to live there before these monsters start showing up and they might have end of Stephen King's The Mist. Like, it's better to just...
revolver my kids in the head instead of uh yeah yeah it was a throuple It could have been a throuple. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they all end. The polyamorous suicide is like three bullets in the chamber. That's a new definition to love triangle when you have a revolver with like the bullets in a triangle. Oh, yeah. There is something to the threes, though, because there was the throuple bunker, right? There's the three bunker rooms. Now there's the dead throuple in the basement. I don't know if that theme will continue, but we're building this. We do go into the portal again. Oh, do we find another relationship of three people who all hate each other?
I say because a friend of mine tried polyamory and ended up getting divorced. So that went great for him. Yep. So another trip shows, they sent another guy in. He was, I think, I forget what kind of criminal he was, but he was like less bad than the other guys. He wasn't a murderer. Oh, so white collar crime. All he did was defraud regular people out of a billion dollars. Yeah, he just built some public housing to put up a privately funded baseball game. That was a guy in Mississippi. Currently, it was a tennis stadium, I think. I don't know if there's a current story. There's a dollop that just came out about Dodger Stadium. They just evicted a bunch of people and bulldoze. It was supposed to be public housing.
uh and some private guys got involved and just ended up like kicking a bunch of people out of the house in the past two or three years and i stole a bunch of money out of like medicare to make a tennis court or like a tennis area for his daughter which is classic yeah and this is kind of engaging i'm not gonna lie so this guy yeah this guy yeah he just did some blue collar uh white collar crime he just stole some money or something but blue collar crime is the worst you steal one chocolate bar jail mirror portal you're going to the you're going to the you're going to the cock bunker white collar crime it's completely different yeah absolutely There's a lot of... You can do blue-collar crime right now because they're tearing up the street near my house. There is so much free street out there. There's like as much street as you can carry. Yeah, my neck is so sore. And it's for trying to steal the street. It wasn't Texas. It was trying to steal Sherbrooke Street. It's a very long street. It runs across the entire island of Montreal. It's the longest street in Montreal. The longest street in Montreal, yeah. So...
Yeah, this guy goes through. He's less bad. He shows up at a futuristic city. Kind of looks like a New York style thing. He has a white collar criminal. Let's fucking go, baby. Yeah. And it's set in 1953. We confirmed that the last recorded dates on anything that he finds, 1953. And that's consistent throughout all of the mirror universes that we go into. Okay.
There's self-driving cars. They go into computer, they're checking out computers and offices. He's just going into buildings and checking shit out. They're sending in more foundation people with him with like guns to kind of help explore. And they're finding more religious imagery absolutely everywhere. 1950s aesthetic, advanced technology. Then we even found a doctor's office. Boy, these self-driving cars sure are convenient. Let's me beat my wife without taking my hands off the steering wheel, huh? Boy, a man sure could go for a glass of whiskey while driving this self-driving car, let me tell you.
No steering wheel, it's actually just a cup holder directly in front of your chest. Now, Francis, let me tell you why it's not communism when I make robots do it all, huh? Sure, it's a government grant, but it doesn't count because I'm wealthy. That's it. The government gave a grant to me, a private business owner. That's not communism, my friend.
So they found a doctor's office and they found one file that was still around. And there was a woman who apparently suffered from a lapse of the heart. And they found out that all the doctor stuff is really infused with religion as well. And a lapse of the heart is just having premarital sex. You got hurt doing that, Jamie. These people are right. Sex is going to get your heart racing. And if you're racing, you're bound to encounter some laps, right?
So I guess what I need to do as well, she was treated on the file of something called the Lord's Tears. So I hadn't mentioned it before, but there's been this brown gunk in that farmhouse. There's brown gunk that they found in that bunker that smelled really bad. And around all those torso, the bottomless monsters. Every Sunday morning, bottomless monsters. No, those guys leave this brown stuff behind, which we find out is the Lord's Tears, which is what they spread on to people whenever they have premarital sex or do a sin.
Gotcha. Fascinating. Okay. That's what we're saying. Pretty much. Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay. Yep. Is it like a goon bunker? Did they, did they, did they, did they wall seal off the masturbators? Hey, this is crowdsourced fiction and we're the crowd now. It was cool. So now we have one more pure hearted foundation technician. He's just a, he's not a criminal. He's just a guy working there and he tries making the trip over.
And this is where the world kind of gets a lot bigger. So at this point, we had just a red little object, right? Then we found out that the red object where you put it to mirrors brings you to a different place depending on who you are and what your regrets are or what your experiences are. Now this guy, he puts it on and he gets in and it's a world full with a pillar of light. Pure imagination. And the pillar of light's in the middle and there's mirrors fucking everywhere with their own red discs on top of all of those mirrors. Gotcha. So this red disc that we got is only one of many.
And the world that we've been experiencing with this one red disc is one of many. There's many more worlds like this. And we don't have the big bottomless mid. No, we don't. Not yet. So he goes into the next room. So there's this room full of mirrors. He goes in the next room. It's a room full of computers. And they all have faithful OS on them. And the computers correspond to each one of the mirrors. And all of the mirrors are either labeled as on the screens as clean, unclean, or lost. I'm going for the unclean computer right away. Absolutely.
Yeah. They got the just boobies porn. Yeah. Oops, all boobies. Oops, all boobies. That's not boobies at all. Excuse me, can you please recant your oops? Yeah. Pete would still be fucking smashed to death by that brown goo bottomless man. So what does this mean? What does this mean? People have dissected this and interpreted it. And what it means is there's a godlike being known only as him. Okay.
And he joins these worlds, and he advances their technology. He joins around the 50s, and he advances their stuff. That's why everywhere we've seen so far looks like the 50s. It might have been that we're only in one instance of this mirror world, and each of these mirrors go to a different time, a different place, a different everything. But the one we've experienced so far was because of him, and he came in and advanced the tech drastically so that in the 50s, they could have self-driving cars, et cetera. And they have computers and everything. He preached holiness in the absence of sin. All of these monsters that we encounter are embodiments of sin.
And this deity or this thing, this eldritch horror that is joining all these worlds is causing these to happen. Lower half gone is all lust, though. True. Squats, maybe, which is, to my knowledge, not one of the sins. Pride? Yeah. I'm proud of it. You're too proud of your leg press, right? That's true. We did do a lot.
so the false god used scp like this false god uses the scp 093 and its counterparts to travel to these mirror worlds and corrupts them for fun uh he likes to play the god uh even though he is powerful but he's not actually like capital g god for for any of these worlds he's just like bouncing between dimensions giving people bad computers and no porn like what the fuck yeah i'm messing with them and then condemning them to hell for it right yeah exactly and then he'll create uh sin monsters and drive humans underground that's why there's been bunkers in all these places there was like an underground bunker in the farmhouse there's a bunker in the hole oh okay these humans have been forced underground because of these sin monsters that were introduced by this like godlike thing that was using scp 093 to jump in um and then like top half of a guy not jump down 150 foot hole and just like choke out the guys in the cuck vault or what? Well, it seems like everyone in the cuck vault died, so they already did do that. There was one guy peeking out through the door. There was a humanoid. We don't know if it was a human still alive or one of these new monsters or anything, right? But if there are humans, they are in hiding. They've barricaded themselves into holes like that. But we think everyone's died or long since died. So, yeah. So SCP-093 starts out as just like a red little disc that acts like a mood ring. Then it becomes a thing that you can travel through a different dimension. And then it becomes something that you can travel through a multiverse that there is...
um a god a false god hopping from world to world just corrupting uh its inhabitants for fun and that's been our spooky scary scp and that man you never masturbate again listener yeah that false god when he dies he's gonna take a little boy up in a glass elevator and gift him the keys of the kingdom let me tell you yeah i guess like one of the threats that the scp foundation has to uh stay involved in this and keep it contained is they're worried that this guy might come through our mirror so they have um The disc is on. It's a mirror that leads to another mirror. You just put him glass to glass. He's not going fucking anywhere. Just put the disc in the middle. Just like. One out the other. I think that. Yeah, just like zip tie it together. Yeah. Their containment is they had like an ultra secure, very small cell with the.
the disc on a mirror that's just as big as the disc in the middle, like on a pedestal, and then probably dangerous shit all over the ground. So they're just hoping that this guy never comes through. It's a tiny little hammer to smash the mirror. Yeah, if he moves the thing. It's got like a porno mag on a mousetrap with a little hammer just like flushed out of the glass. So that's been 093. What were you saying, Ethan? I do like the idea that, you know, the ultimate test was he left a copy of Hustler on a table in the fizzy burping drink room.
And it was stolen by the little boy, but then the little boy, like, in the Denouement, the Dark Knight of the Soul, like, the little boy giving back a copy of Hustler, being like, hey, I found this in your factory. Like, and you turned God into Willy Wonka here. Oh, he is in my head, okay? So, I didn't do it, my brain did, okay? I was thinking we were talking, I was like, Chocolate River's only New Testament, I don't believe in that shit at all. If you want to see more SCP, definitely let me know which ones you're interested in. I went through the list of the ones that were recommended.
And I know there's a lot of people out there on the internet who do enjoy this stuff. So if you do want to hear more, uh, join the discord, discord at gg slash lore boys and drop it in the lore request channel. That's where I'm going to control F. SCP. That's where you get your shout out. That's where I'll actually look at stuff. So if you want more of it, there's always people who do. So just drop it in there with the number so I can actually look it up and find something fun. If you want to hang out with me on Tuesdays, I do stream on Twitch. I might not have streamed this week because I can't sit at my desk and I have to stand up. Maybe I'll just stand up and you guys can watch me naked shower for an hour or something. It's nowhere against DOS, right? Yeah. You'll need to shave, but then just green screen your torso. Oh, Lord.
It's a good shot, man. It's a good shot. I was too slow on the trigger. I didn't get it. You got anything you want to plug? The Lore Boys Podcast on Instagram and, of course, Patreon.com slash TheLoreBoys. There's a preview of my comic there, which I actually worked on all day today for the first time. I took the summer and most of the fall off and I did a bunch of work on it today because I'm a banker now and I have more days off than I could ever fucking use. It's great. Yeah, no real release date, obviously. I'm not going to do that again, but it was fun. Might as well commit to Valentine's Day at this point. Honestly, Valentine's Day 20XX. That's my release date. Right after Mega Man.
Thanks so much for listening, everyone. If you enjoyed the show, consider leaving us a rating or review on your podcast app of choice. I do like to go through the ratings every now and then and read the kind words that you guys leave behind. It really does make a difference in helping the show to grow. It's probably the number one most impactful thing you can do to spread the good word of Loreboys. The last time I checked on Spotify, we had over a thousand positive reviews and I was like, oh, fuck. Okay, the call to action does work. This is very cool. Yeah, excellent. If you guys want to support the show financially, we do have Patreon, patreon.com slash Loreboys where you get access to a bunch of bonus content. You can get some bonus episode pictures, including Neo the Hedgehog in this week's and an artist's depiction of what Jamie would look like in a sexual oxygen tent.
uh and for those who don't touch patreon we do of course have lower boys prime a service which we've always offered um we just need look to be a call to action we have a serious call to action right now go find your local house and mirrors smash every mirror smash the mirrors in your house smash the mirrors in your neighbor's house smash your little car rear view mirror that tiny little one in the middle the side view mirrors smash them all we gotta be safe okay it's dangerous out there uh there may or may not be a spring-loaded knife under any given mirror okay and we we gotta watch out for these things so we're just trying to keep the neighborhood safe um smash a mirror take the bad luck for yourself you know take one for the team and uh keep the neighborhood safe It's important. That's it. If a bad luck for 17 years or whatever doesn't count if it's always 1953. Yeah. True. 1953, real bad luck for anybody but us, honestly. I think that was good. Loreboys? Loreboys.
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