SE4/EP 38: "Stop Calling It “Discipline” - The Hidden Childhood Trauma Many African Families Never Talk About with Damilola Adesina

Sometimes, the conversations we need most begin with a simple social media post.I first came across a short Instagram reel posted by Damilola Adesina addressing childhood trauma within African immigrant families. Although the video lasted only a few moments, it captured a reality that many African families quietly live with but rarely discuss. The message immediately resonated with me because it echoed many of the conversations we have had on Pánsá Pánsá Podcast on identity, culture, parenting, emotional wellbeing, and healing.I invited Damilola to join me for an honest and compassionate discussion about childhood trauma, emotional healing, and the growing importance of mental health care within African immigrant communities.I am deeply grateful for the wealth of knowledge Dami shared with our audience. More importantly, I appreciate her willingness to be vulnerable by sharing her own family's story and her personal journey toward healing from childhood and intergenerational trauma. Her openness demonstrates extraordinary courage and reflects her commitment to helping others recognize that healing is possible.We explored why many African immigrant parents struggle to respond to their children's emotional needs. For many parents, this is not because they lack love for their children, but because they themselves were never taught emotional regulation, vulnerability, or healthy ways of processing trauma. Many are carrying unresolved pain, surviving emotional burnout, or simply repeating parenting patterns they inherited.As Dami explains, we cannot pass down what we were never given.We discussed the following:Damilola's personal journey and what inspired her to become a therapistThe stigma surrounding mental health within African immigrant communitiesWhy many African cultures normalize suffering instead of addressing emotional painThe difference between community support and professional therapyWhy family members, friends, and religious leaders cannot replace licensed mental health professionalsThe importance of recognizing childhood and generational traumaParenting through healing instead of survivalPractical ways to reduce the stigma surrounding therapy in African communitiesBuilding emotionally healthier families for future generationsThis conversation is not about blaming African parents. Rather, it is an invitation to understand how historical, cultural, economic, and migration experiences have shaped parenting practices—and why healing is essential for both parents and children.About Our Guest:Damilola Adesina is the Founder and Owner of Ireti Counseling and Wellness and a National Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor.She earned her Bachelor of Arts in Public Relations, with a minor in African Studies, from the University of Georgia in 2010 before receiving her Master of Education in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of St. Thomas in 2016.As a first-generation Nigerian American, Damilola understands firsthand the unique emotional challenges experienced by many children of African immigrants. Growing up, mental health was rarely discussed, leaving many families to unknowingly pass down unresolved pain and trauma from one generation to another.Her own healing journey inspired her to establish Ireti Counseling and Wellness—a practice dedicated to creating a safe, compassionate, and nonjudgmental environment where clients can explore their experiences and begin the work of healing.Damilola also co-hosts the For a Season Podcast, where she and her sisters openly discuss healing, faith, relationships, and personal growth.She specializes in:AnxietyDepressionSelf-esteemParentingPostpartum depressionHer therapeutic approach integrates several evidence-based modalities, including:Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)Solution-Focused Brief TherapyPerson-Centered TherapyFamily Systems TherapyNarrative Therapy