EPISODE · Apr 7, 2026 · 36 MIN
Season 2: Episode 7: Understanding Family Estrangement: Emotional Insights for the Midlife Woman
from Midlife Mavens · host midlifemavens2024
Psychologists Marci Burroughs and Carol O’Saben discuss family estrangement on the Midlife Mavens podcast, framing distance from family as an intentional, protective response rather than an impulsive choice. They describe estrangement as a spectrum—from reduced contact and emotional guardedness to full cutoff—and note it is often preceded by long-standing patterns, failed boundary-setting, enmeshment, abuse/neglect, substance use, coming out LGBTQ+, or divorce/remarriage conflicts. They address societal and cultural stigma, myths that family must always come first, and the shame clients feel when others minimize their experiences. The hosts explore grief, ambiguous loss, and sometimes relief on both sides, and consider whether reconciliation is possible through accountability and understanding. They recommend therapy, self-reflection, support groups, chosen family, grieving unmet expectations, and adjusting boundaries and expectations. 00:00 Why Distance Happens 01:17 Why Estrangement Is Taboo 02:51 Midlife Shifts And Boundaries 05:13 Defining Estrangement 08:02 Patterns Not One Event 10:42 Types And Common Causes 15:26 Shame And Social Judgment 16:57 Mid Episode Contact Break 18:03 Why Society Resists It 21:48 Grief Relief And Loss 25:00 Can Relationships Heal 27:54 Finding Support And Options 30:23 Chosen Family And Grieving 34:05 Masked Estrangement Is Common 35:22 Wrap Up And Next Steps Got a question or a suggestion for a future episode? Use our “Ask Us Anything” Form: https://forms.gle/3bo4KuaXfGxCUS9C9 If you are looking for a therapist and would like to reach out to Marci or Carol, take a look at their websites: Marci: https://www.marciburroughsphdcst.com Carol: https://www.drosaben.com Other therapist directories you can use to help you find therapy include: Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/th… Mental Health Match: https://mentalhealthmatch.com/ American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists: https://aasect.org iTherapy: https://itherapy.com
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Psychologists Marci Burroughs and Carol O’Saben discuss family estrangement in midlife, emphasizing that creating emotional or physical distance is usually a deliberate act of self-protection, not an impulsive choice. They define estrangement as a spectrum—from reduced/no contact to more superficial relationships—and explore common drivers such as long-term patterns of boundary violations, enmeshment, abuse or neglect, substance use, divorce and remarriage conflicts, and LGBTQ+ rejection by extended family. The episode addresses the stigma and shame fueled by cultural myths like “family first,” and highlights the grief, relief, and ambiguous loss that can accompany estranged relationships. They suggest seeking therapy, support groups, self-reflection, grieving unrealistic expectations, and building chosen family, while noting reconciliation depends on accountability and respectful boundaries.
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Season 2: Episode 7: Understanding Family Estrangement: Emotional Insights for the Midlife Woman
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