Secrets

Hello, you billows and all you dildos welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilders guide to life on Jesse That's wilder and we're here to guide your life. Hell. Yeah. Hell.

Yeah. Hell. Yeah fucking tight dude Do you feel better that you have to look at me? Do you get to look at me?

I feel better this time than last time last time It was like really a hurdle because of your distracting on your on your ugly face But I think I'm more or less than this time my sparkly hard Mountain Dew hat Yeah, tell it yeah, but the hat is sick. He's got let me let me explain the wobbly picture He's got This hat that was sent to him as some sort of promo and it is Mountain Dew bucket hat that looks to be of a non-breathable material is that yeah the box? Yeah, okay cool Check it and then I the sweater it just is Shaw University, which is his last name So maybe do you own a long-sleeve shirt? I had this my only one yeah, man I own a couple dude.

I go crazy with it. I like a long-sleeve Well, I don't like that one because it has your name on it like one of those shirts you buy on Facebook It's like only a Shaw would understand what it's like to fish and fuck ladies That's also true, but guess who got me this shirt take a wild guess gotta be ooh I was gonna say rickshaw you'd be correct Shaw. Okay, rickshaw. Okay, David was the answer to the riddle Oh boy, Johnny bananas once again texted me the answer the riddle and then once again I didn't know what he was talking about come on man He texted me just the name David.

I thought he's maybe doing shits Creek. Oh like you David. Yeah So once again Johnny out smart at me at my own game congratulations add one more dollar to your prize Your prize bull that you can claim someday as soon as we go He just gave a TED talk congrats shout out to the Jonathan himself Do we want to do you know what it was about being a sports nerd which he has no experience in that that checks out? I was gonna say we should play a game where we try and guess and do like a fun You know like a fun you know like some fun jokes no fun jokes here Yeah, like sometimes people like to hear on their podcast, but oh no yeah time for that or do we yeah?

Let me try and set you up one more time. Hey, what was um Johnny Stan friend of the show What was his Ted talk about you think dude how to have a hell of a smile? Yeah a good boy smile What would a shot what would Ted talk you given at Shaw University? Dude how to look good?

How to feel good and how to act good you just starts with a little thing top at two bottom How to look good it starts is all about headwear how to feel good is all about shirt wear and I act good socks and shoes only Hands is kind of I can't be forcing cans on people. This is nothing I would come in like miss fucking trunchball a lunatic and I would just start Over the fence I would start throwing kids these fucking nerds at this Ted talk Are you curious kind of what you're describing is more of like sort of like an arena where they let a beast loose And then like Thor has to fight it. That's right. That's right.

I'm gonna come in Everyone's gonna do polite applause and I'm gonna say who here recently started their own business and probably a bunch of hands Will go up because that's that's who they are and I'm gonna say the chokey to allia and put them all in the chokey I think we need a big fucking cake Yeah, so that would be my Tet and that graciously I would say thank you at the end as they always do to I assume a prorious applause The lesson would be do do better vetting for who you picked him Sometimes a fucking mongrel get loose in there wild animal. Yeah, they have to see this tetra this guy just went feral and fucking just Fully attacked out of a boy. Yeah, he bit the host tell him about tell him about it What we're doing well, I can't tell him about it or else that would be I noticed you've already tried to test me and I won't Let's this is a great place to start today our topic is secrets guys already love it. I'm feeling the damn beans Yeah, I spilled them and this is exactly what I want to talk about Beans oh gonna spill Are you are you can you I'm like I can do it, but it brother it eats me alive.

Holy goddamn shit I cannot it's burst. It's like it's gonna come out like a vomit. What about you? So so you're talking about that being the keeper of the secret keeper of a secret, okay?

Or just when you want to tell someone something Damn secret keeper. It sounds like Wabu's a one. No, I'm a two. I will do it.

It'll tear me apart But I'll do it what if it's your own secret so much easier, okay? I feel like I Hmm, I agree. I agree. We'll get into it depends on the longevity of the secret in it.

What yeah? What is it like? I've been secretly you know eating my own eyelashes for my entire life and you've been doing it since you were Too well, you're pretty good at keeping that secret. I was gonna say at a certain point you hit the there's a curve like a bell curve I'm just never gonna tell him nobody's secret forever.

Yeah, nobody needs to know that I've all of a sudden you developed a taste For your own eyelashes and the eyelashes of others. Okay, so Wabu pretty good secret keeper I'm I'm I'm also very pretty good. I would say because I've never been involved in a surprise party I don't think so it shout out to dear friend of the guide layer bear. Oh Sweet layer bear where you been my whole life layer.

Yeah ruined two surprise parties in my time Sweet sweet Larry could not keep those beans inside so layer bear a clear one I mean this may be the only situation where layer bears a one. Yeah, we great dude I also want to make it clear like that. We just said you know friend of the guide. We love him.

We do We did not hang out with that dude enough for him to have you ruined two parties that you know of like if you know Secret though surprise party I feel like it's a three because it's pretty low state like even if it gets ruined It's like oh no, they're still a party party party like no do the stakes are high because people are gonna be fucking pissed at you Yeah, dude, but the stakes are so low compared to like the launch codes, you know, okay for sure the launch I didn't know we were scaling up that yeah, man. It's secrets. Okay, the launch codes are I guess in terms of like what are we doing like the tightest secrets to keep well? What is the secret surprise party to three because like it's a good one.

It's If it gets ruined it sucks, of course, but it's not the end of the world We're is like if if some if your friend tells you like hey We're pregnant don't say anything to anyone and then you say it to someone say we're pregnant. Oh boy This guy To me that one is like a one like don't come on I don't want to keep that one that's for you to keep I oh dude What is the secret and maybe this goes in maybe secret? Yeah, who's secret a very not quite lit is the person who? Wants you to know the secret like who's like oh don't you want to know get in like it's that it's the weird pregnant Oh, I got a little not it for you.

Don't you want to come and know my secret not I don't want it Yeah, that's the getting a secret like second or third hand. That's really tough because at this point to me It's not a secret. It's gossip and I'm gonna spread it like wildfire. Yeah, I don't have to keep it Nobody entrusted me once it got out of the vault once those beans got spilled.

I'm just picking them up, baby I'm not that's not on me bonus points is work for it. Yeah for sure work for that secret dude If you can't get it that first time you come around second time Oh, maybe I'll sweet talk in my little slide on my Snickers bar or something, you know They're not themselves when they're hungry what secret are you angling for in the scenario? Do you think just anything dude? What's the top secret you're trying to know?

Okay, I think launch codes is it too because I think like I'm much pressure It's a one for me. I don't want that shit on my back. No way. Okay.

I get that The codes that's exactly right in it who knows what I'm gonna do with the codes, dude Under any circumstances some of our French is still this they were pregnant So I got babies on the brain dude the kids name to me. That's a good secret I want to angle for because it's so low stakes guess it yeah Oh, you better believe I guessed it Yeah, obviously it's a double still skin Bob a Duke actually is what they decided to name their kid Yeah, so a name also like I didn't even think about how Rubble still skin's whole thing is his name is a secret He's a he's a very pretty good secret keeper spell go on spell it in one Yeah, I suppose rump. I'm gonna put rubby's rubby's skin is what I have a very quite lit secret drama Relationship drama about people you don't know very well. That's a three obviously.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying So it's like someone's like hey guess what happened with my neighbor the other day big screaming match That's the shit. I'm trying to get oh my god, dude. That is like fucking mana I will drink it out of a bowl like a little kitten dude. I love that too close to me though I don't like my personal friends no no no in fact I would say relationship drama of people I know is a two or a one.

Yes, right? One oh one. Yeah, yeah, yeah drama bad things. Yeah, I mean we talked about like my a couple episodes ago My dad's neighbor had a bunch of drama.

That's perfect. I know them. I've met them like maybe a dozen times probably less But oh yeah, feed it to me on a planet maybe like I'm in an apartment complex a very large one I'm trying to figure out every every person's home is a secret to me in this apartment complex And it's my job to learn everything that there is to know about them. Yeah That could be considered sort of lunatic behavior Duty you writing it down dude.

How about demerit writing it down? You can't have a paper trail of any see yuck dude no paper trail fucking demerit fucking paper trail yikes imagine you're learning these things about your Neighbors you just have notebooks upon notebooks 41c takes their coffee with extra cream in the morning. Oh, yeah I'm in is John Wayne Casey. Yeah, well that's kind of how you just described yourself you little freak.

I don't want to I don't want to know Sad secrets dude. I know like what dude like an illness or something. Oh, yeah Like sad secrets or the news. I don't want to do those secrets secrets Should be fun That's how it goes dude Yeah, which is why I am the one parentheses to share them with what other types of secrets are there in this world?

Well a present which to me very quite let's secret. Yeah a present is a good one Mm-hmm. It just sucks because it feels like such an easy one to like I don't me personally I always end up talking about it a little too much, you know like if I got a good present for someone I'm always like oh that's what I'm saying. I think you're gonna like it God forbid someone talks about something semi related to the secret.

You're trying to get a demerit is obviously like releasing the secret on accident right there's a difference between like yeah between like okay, I'm gonna consciously decide to tell this person what their gift is or You can't blow it secret keeper dude. I feel like a like a monk dude a man of the cloth a person of the cloth Oh, yeah, sure creased right? I do listen to people secrets all fucking day long. Yeah fucking creeps on a secret keepers Confessions in a church to me is probably a one secret.

Oh, maybe it's a two. Oh, wouldn't you like to hear it a little bit? Oh to hear it? Yeah, it's probably also fucking boring maybe dude Are you what's the deal with that?

Is that like a therapist where you're allowed to tell them anything and then like unless it's you're actively planning murder Like what if they're like killed someone? I don't I don't know cuz I ain't Catholic and I don't go to church but I far as I understand it you You go from the fucking movies I seen to go in that little box and you say I'm forgive me father for I have sinned and they say when's the last time you blah blah blah and you say some fucking Hail Mary's and You do and you tell and you're supposed to say in the little secret box. Uh-huh. I slept with my neighbor or I Stole all my kids Legos and I've been playing with them without him or whatever other sins you got whatever horrible sins You got and I think that's a two.

I do want to hear him. I feel there's got to be some juicy ones. Don't you think? Yeah, they've been listening who the church God man of the clock are they juicy ones or is it like one juicy one for every hundred?

I Googled my neighbor, right? Well, and that's what I that's but oogled my neighbor is still pretty good. Don't you think no? It's something good.

I want to be like I robbed a bank. Do you think they get Robert like crimes? Oh dude? What about knowing a crime?

Oh, yeah, that's what obviously what is the secret? Oh, someone's gonna come kill you if you know the crime right along with it the who secret a criminal What a nightmare like even if it's not about a crime if you just know a criminal's middle name and they don't want people to say it No, thanks have fucking Anton Shiger chasing me down because I'm telling people about his fucking surprise birthday party or whatever You know when someone's watching a TV show that you really like and you know, it's gonna happen. Oh, it's a spoiler a spoiler Too, I feel like it's a two. Yeah, that's another one that sort of burns within me like you just want to say it Maybe not so much that but it's hard for me when people like question.

It's like is he gonna die is he gonna what's gonna happen here? Oh, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, or what's worse is not when they ask questions, but they'll make comments They're like this idiot What does he do and you know that that move that he just that that person just did in the movie was intentionally deceptive or whatever? And you want to just be like you fucking more you have no fucking idea.

I can think you know you don't know shit You know anything you dip shit. Mm-hmm. You think you know better than Mr. Bean.

No, just wait I hate it when people spoil Mr. Bean for me. Yeah, he's gonna do a cool face And then he's gonna try and break into this place that he's not supposed to go. It'll be a hoot and hauler.

Sorry spoiler alert Well, not watch now. Yeah, that's why I haven't watched The B man versus B. Yeah, dude. That's well for you B wins.

It was all over reddit. Yeah Is that true? What be with? I think obviously like man versus be whoever wins we lose is the real answer There were our world heard that baby.

I think okay. Here's a secret that I think is Annoying but it would be cool for me. You know when people share I have this great news And it's almost always career news. I have this great news can't share yet excited to tell you all I Gotta hate when people do that.

I would love to be the one doing annoying dude. It's so annoying just wait We're like okay. They bought your pilot. Tell me when you can tell me dude a secret about something good about yourself But lame a secret whose secret yours though is a three right you keep your own you're that's it you put the lid on yourself I get yes, I don't want someone else's secret man.

That's gonna be crazy to secret recipe. Huh? That's a three come on That's the best that's maybe Remember we talked about I don't think this was last time but like two episodes ago We talked about like what was it king of the mountain or something mm-hmm to me That's king of the mountain because it's one that you get to flaunt in everyone's face and you do not you gain Absolutely nothing from telling that secret and lose every ride dude and on your deathbed you give it out I mean, it's that's too like that to like your relative. Yeah, yeah on the legacy ideally okay, okay I have a fourth topic here, and I don't know that much to go in there But how to reveal I'm gonna put accidental spillages of one dude like a fucking treasure hunt is a three like you're a post-mortem treasure hunt You want the secret recipe to my deviled eggs?

Well solve these riddles three travel across the world and How did I do it like a heist or something? Yeah, I want to know how he got away with it dude. How do you get away with it? Yeah, yeah inside the bank So I think that is like revealing the secret once it has no power Which is a two because I think in most instances that's nothing, but sometimes it's like yeah, I already robbed the bank Baby, I'm Scott free, but now I got ya.

Yeah, and then it's but it's not as cool to reveal it has no power Well, it's only in the situation I'm talking about it is to dunk on a person who now has you've accomplished your mission right like it's like think about it This way you are planning a surprise party for someone and so you have to like arrange a fake thing for them to go to or whatever Right, and so yeah, how did I do it? Yeah, and oh and why were we meeting golfing in the rain? We worked. Thank you very much.

Oh dude. How about the fucking master plan monologue Yeah, it's a two. I mean it's cool But like was it for the end of like a murder mystery right well as you know and then they all long speech of how they pulled it off I should kind of hate that don't mind it a little bit about secrets as currency who likes spy games type shit sure Yeah, that like I'll give you I'll give you a secret in exchange for something Hmm that's a three. I like that that feels powerful Secret banging enough to get someone to do something in the physical world for you That's a good fucking secret.

Yeah, and The reverse is also true you are about to get if you are trading a physical item or currency for a secret You are about to get such a fucking dang secret. That's it's gonna be slamming so yeah Trading it for goods and services It's tight. Okay, uh family secret dude. I kind of love it.

Oh, we're all haunted Yeah, and that's not what I was thinking. I guess that's a secret every last one of us is haunted got it perfect example Yeah, I was bored thinking about like where the family treasure is buried or what the launch codes are for our family nukes or Like the you know, I don't the deed to our grand, you know all that type of shit Yeah, I mean the location the location of the thing is really good. How about this secret layer, bro? Remember we did that as a whole episode we did secret layer Quite Secret powers dude.

Yeah, I was gonna say secret identity. Well, Peter Parker action, but I don't know powers. Oh, I was talking about powers Right. What is your what do you give me a secret power real quick?

I'm spider-man. No, that's not a power That's an identity. I got a power would be that I shoot webs. What's wabu secret power?

Well, secret identity could also be like, you know fucking Duke silver sure So okay, so secret identity secret life is just wild for like regular people No, for superheroes, but like oh, you don't know this you might think that this guy is just like a fucking busboy at a restaurant But guess what he works at the Pentagon. Okay, wait. I said that was a one. I actually I Am such a sucker for those stories when it's like it was a regular guy.

It turns out he was you know He was just a janitor, but then Robin Williams Tom scriblins little scribble scrabble's all over the chalkboard and guess what? He's smart as fuck not secretly not about you think about that secretly smart sucks. I want to be publicly smart I'd like to be fucking really really smart. What about like secret talent?

I hate secret talent that sounds like that's like that old Nickelodeon show where they would try and guess the kid secret talent And the talent was always like I can chug a jar pickle juice and under 15 seconds That sucks dude secret talent is lame. Oh again if it's a real talent I'll know about it And if it's not the real secret talent is powers and I think powers is a pretty good because like yeah a lot of shit Come with and with great power rub comes great. Yes. Mm-hmm I think who's secret a superhero like if you know their identity.

That's obviously one extremely nerve-wracking Did you see my Dom web? No dude, I can't do that. You keep it. You want to drop a little secret on you Yeah, let's do it.

I do think hold on before you even say this I do think we should advocate for calling spoilers secrets from now on Just like secrets, please. I haven't seen it yet. Please no secrets. Hey secret alert.

I'm gonna tell you the plot is moving Okay, let me take you close your eyes. The year is 1998 now that we have cameras I can't pretend to close my eyes anymore. I have to actually do it It's extremely disorienting go on sorry. I'm a super Nintendo controller in your hand You're playing Donkey Kong country and someone says hey, you know where the secret on this level is Dude super Nintendo secrets, but it was just you had to walk a little bit to the left or whatever and there's like a cooking collectible secret level Shit was tight.

Yeah secret level Slatch Easter eggs. No, yeah, no Easter eggs Easter eggs is a movie is a secret. It's a secret And I like it I'm saying it's a three because it's extremely low stakes. It's a secret.

You can share right? They want you share it. Oh, dude What about this kind of goes to secret layer, but like a secret room, you know, like the sliding bookshelf home depot selling those now Yes, I know I Interested is a three. It's a secret layer.

It's basically a secret layer What if you that's what I want to do is in my house I'm gonna get a sliding bookshelf door and then just gonna be a tiny little room and I'm gonna say welcome to my secret layer And I think like a little desk. I think ideally let's say you're building a house from scratch I'm in my house every wall will be bookshelves every single wall in the kitchen the bathroom every single wall That's a lot of books and I will have no doors I will only have secret secret bookshelf doors Do you keep them so when you walk in what I'm imagining what you walk in is like kind of like the beginning of the haunted mansion When you're in the elevator and there's just a big square room full of no doors And then like yes, it's open to go to the kitchen and the bedrooms are also through no no no no bedrooms are also Secret doors kitchen is also secret doors it look when you have any every room shoots no shoots brother every room looks like a library Every single room you close the door behind you and you think you just entered a library. Okay, so it's a memory puzzle then Yes, some days you can't find the fucking front door to get out of that place dude that house sounds good Yeah, I'm living in that fucking literal prison and there are windows But I do have like two or three fake windows that look like windows, but they're actually Like screens that are projecting outside stuff So that it's like to fool you and behind the screens You guessed it more books and one and one of those that book is a secret door behind the screen the fake window screen Why do you live there? Because the secrets you see I Know one will ever know and then I when I go to sell that house, which I'm sure people be lying around the block That I just I mean you could say that it's eight thousand square feet, but you find your house That's more like an escape room is what you're describing.

Yeah with only one puzzle Yes, I imagine you went to escape room is fine the door every single one is just where is the door? Oh, man, what's the big secret you know say it to us right now? Oh Followed into this trap. Do you like carry secrets on a daily basis?

I don't think I carry big secrets, right? Student secrets, bro. You probably know what all them little critters are up to and you can't talk to anyone about you know What's okay? Keep him in that nasty perfect mind of yours.

Okay secret keeper dude a teacher is a one because we're I'm a man I'm here because of Jolanda broke up with bromanda and then you got to know about it I actively tell kids will come to me. This has been a big thing this year actually weirdly I don't know what is in the water, but kids will come to me and be like oh my god I have to tell you about like my boyfriend or like oh me and so and so are doing whatever and I'm like I Unless you are in like emotional distress, please do not share this with me I can't know about it Please because and part of that is that like I don't want to be in their business their teens I'm not teens the other part obviously is a defense against becoming broke den because at a certain point I do love it I love a juicy goss and what am I gonna not fucking feast on the boss me would be that I would be unable to not verbally abuse all of What you're gonna leverage to be like you're all so fucking stupid. Yeah sit down quit me so fucking stupid all the time But you're not allowed to say that I assume yeah, I mean what's up ten year, baby? I get to pretty much whatever I'm saying teachers are a bad secret keeper because we're mandated reporters So you tell us a big enough secret and legally I have to go tell somebody else which sucks yeah like a therapist That's a pretty pretty good secret keeper.

What is the secret? I think a two is all the stuff you do when you're a teen That you're not supposed to you're underage drinking etc like you're never keeping that secret first of all everybody knows about it second of all Like it's dumb, but as a kid you love it, right? You think you're getting away with something sneaking out I got a good I got a very pretty good secret for you right now And it's basically a lot of the same teen secrets cuz like sometimes I've been known to sneak an extra candy bar To do you know what I mean like a little what is that like a little like a little but you're it's really not a secret from anyone Like from I'm not telling but who's secret is that it's like a secret really because you're not supposed to do it right? So yeah, okay, so it's like I'm gonna sneak a little extra that I did something bad okay a little naughty boy That's a two jammed 24 crispy creams really quick I don't know who else is like very quite lit secret keeper some friends are good at that yeah Some dude, but how can you ever even know you know I think as good secret keepers?

Maybe he's like grandpa's dude Who the fuck are grandpa's talking to? Well themselves that's it though. It's tight lips like a grandma. I don't know I don't care That's the best secret keepers.

Yes. Yes. Yeah, it's a secret. Correct cuz if Joe london bro monda, we're like please don't tell I'd be like no problem.

Yeah, no, I already forgot it. Yeah, she will away with you I mean this is all this is another teen stuff So I'm gonna have to the group like I have a crush on so-and-so like the secret that you almost create in hopes that it will be shared with the Person you know what I mean eat my shorts a secret that you want people to spread how to reveal dude I mean up like we could just say like with with gusto like with circum like yeah like pageantry please Well, but yeah, it's not bad certain ones right like a proposal is a secret that'd be very quite lit to me right like that's a secret That's a secret that's a sick one. Mm-hmm. Dude.

What about revealing a secret in spite I kind of it's a little bit It might be a two dude you got somebody secret and they try and they try and you say oh I have the silver bullet and I didn't want to use it rather we haven't even talked about black male. Yeah, black male is For shorting in black male very quite lit you think very quite lit and not absolutely But people will start to know you as a lunatic if you abuse that you have to be very choosy of when you're doing that If you do it right no one ever finds out this is what Wilder is doing with all his fucking neighbors information that he's collecting as he watches Them put him right in here and then he's doing a bunch of hat stuff I don't know why he thinks that you guys can see him. That's only for you, baby. Damn dude.

I don't know What about like science dude, that's a secret from me, but that's not a secret. You're just an idiot Well, just like advancements what like what they're doing over there, you know All the shit that we don't know about but isn't a secret like in some lab in Norway someone learned how to turn people into frogs You know I'm saying that's a secret like people are doing experiments secret experiments dude Experiments is the one no Like it experiments are one and government secrets dude who secret is a government if that's always bad feels like mm-hmm. That's about Ufos. Yeah, you got your ufos.

You got your big foot. You got your longness. They got all that shit. Oh cryptids, dude Oh, yeah, oh yeah, quite let secret.

Yeah for sure like well. Yeah for sure. You know about my man boogam shout out to my man Boogam. Yeah, you love you love boogam so much dude my local cryptid boogam.

He's so tight He hides gems he puts out a thing of moonshine for explorers to drink so that they drink a whole moonshine because they can't help Themselves classic humans and then when they wake up boogam's moved his gems to a new cave It's just a simple guy trying to hide his dank gems fuck. Yeah secret where am I gems? That's a bonus point for sure my My stink but Da Vinci code is interesting cuz that's a guy who keeps that secret dude history like the fucking nation's very quite lit secret keeper Yeah, dude whose secret is it dude father time history father time Dude how about mama guy a dude who would not like them this goes with cryptid kind of but like like myth dude like Atlantis right like the fucking yeah That shit is the lost city and you know what they say about like trees and walls keeping secrets Oh, you mean like if these walls could talk yeah, baby Damn dude that's suck if they could talk I would not get a link asleep if they were like for secret keeper Yeah, like a hotel manager or like someone's CD that you interview like a police is like hey What do you know about the situation and like the bartender's like oh swear? I don't know anything but he really does oh You think that's a no-go Standard service worker yeah, I hate the working class.

Yeah, that's what it sounds like dude But it's fucking normal stuff for Waboo. Yeah. Oh a sibling dude feels like that's the worst They can't keep a goddamn secret to save their lives and they'll use it against you as soon as they can Yeah, but they don't want to you know yeah, I guess did I have I've sure I've told this my one time when I was a kid My brother my uncle brother Steven he was I was in the shower and I heard him start the motorcycle my dad's motorcycle He was not supposed to do that and I know he was supposed to do it because I was there when my parents told him and I said Hey, Steven. I was probably like Okay, ready for this I said hey Steven I Heard the motorcycle start.

I don't think you were supposed to start the motorcycle and he said you're gonna tell mom and dad I said well you weren't supposed to start it I didn't know what it was to keep a secret and he said if you don't tell I'll take you fishing with me and my friends And I said that's great And I think that fucking dude thought I was gonna forget and I did it and I waited exactly one week and then one week later And I didn't say a word to him. I could have reminded him didn't do it one week later I said hey the other day when Steven was babysitting me he had his friends over and they started the motorcycle Said he was gonna take a fish with his friends fucking sold him down the river, baby Same river he was supposed to be fishing it. Uh-huh better believe that so siblings to me. They're a one.

They suck at it Yeah, but they have no interest in your secrets Not for the most part no I don't think they're the worst person to barter with because they're just waiting for the opportunity to screw you over Right exactly and if they want your secrets the last thing you want to do is give them their secret Like if they if you they want to know where you keep your special hair gel that drives the ladies wild And you keep it locked you under lock and key because you don't want them to have your special I'm never gonna tell them who dude photo secrets. I don't like evidence is a secret I don't love it, but it's cool Then what if you've got the evidence a lot goes along with that yeah I think evidence is a two because like to have a physical secret dude like to have this to have the smoking gun to have the picture Oh, that's something in it. I don't know where this goes, but taking a secret to the grave Mmm. I think that's a bonus point dude.

Take it to the great guys with you. Yeah, I think that's very successful secret Good job. You cut the hell out of that secret. Yeah, probably like almost more I can't imagine what the secret could have been that you needed for that Dude, what about this one sucks because I guess we kind of covered it with like sad but like Dude when you know, I just think of like movies right when the best friend knows that His part his friends partners cheating on him, right?

That's impossible, but there's like a bonus to it where you're like you could reveal you could be the one that says hey You're in this thing. Hey, I don't want dude, but it's a horrible one. Don't want people's drama I don't want my friends drama. No fucking way not just drama responsibility major drama But then it also comes with the responsibility of like do I tell no Never your place Yeah, no secret keeper Annie shout out to Annie she keeping secrets.

No, she's not right wasn't that the whole thing is she tells I'm at the oh they go to their sleep. Yeah, she tells secrets ever sleepovers. Yeah, she's gonna tell them every chance she gets She's hoarding tell Secrets to a group of girls on the verge of a sleepover that is for sure Yeah, they hoard them like smog hoards his his treasure and they will release all of them to each other Oh my god, I think a teen girl has got to be so extremely low on the list Well, but I think she'll wield them powerfully, but against you often would you not think like only sure you do not want? That's your most powerful adversary Oh, man, you never fucking way want to make enemies with a team that has your secrets No, no, and especially a teen boy is too dumb to do anything.

He'll just yell him out or something. Oh, yeah Well, I heard you have six toes. Okay, buddy. No one get back out of here.

Oh, dude a body secret kind of a two Terrible see it's terrible. What about somebody who's like an extra toe? Oh, no, that one see that's bad But what if you're one of those people's like double jointed you do that thing you and your elbow goes the opposite way That's kind of cool. Oh, but see a secret I don't think just like a talent nobody knows about as a secret you literally said secret talent as a suggestion you said secret talent I said superpowers no, dude.

You said secret talent and then your example was the LeBron James thing You fucking dick It is a secret I hate that one fine body secret is a what I mean like maybe you think of a cooler one The tongue triple yeah, like a tongue yes tongue triple tongue clover I can do a trip I can do a thing where I can't do a trip dude I can't roll it do it real quick for everyone Can you hear our tongues my beloved can liquor elbow and you're beloved do any cool tricks or just me yeah mine can fly You know about that fucker Not that's a competition. I can crack my knuckles infinitely yes, I Think this old guy Spread The secret that's good secret strat how to reveal make it seem like someone else spread untraceable yeah, or like or like let someone think that they figured something out even though you led them to that point where it's like Like this is the bad example if you find out that your friends barter's duty on them And you're just like wow there's been a lot of time playing bocce Huh, and they don't ever invite you to play bocce huh? That's cool. No way.

I'm out on that shit I'm gonna say thank you to Philly. Oh tell them I say thank you to New York City skyscrapers and everything mm-hmm That's listening big nasty ex dude the big nasty ex whoo x is back Mm-hmm Dallas Sure why not dude how do you send us a fucking cowboy hat? Why don't you? Thank you Adam Faye for the art.

Thank you to bad talk to the music goes to tones Thank you to all the little people that have supported us all these years. That's that's why we've made it this far And I have someone I'd like to thank but I can't say anything yet. So soon though soon. I'll thank them nice nice Here's the deal though Halo of water hate Try again try one more time the barber of Seville shaves all men living in Seville No man living in Seville is allowed to shave himself the barber of Seville lives in Seville who shaves the barber of Seville?

And it's Seville yeah, I'm gonna say I don't think that's out Fuck you