Sex: A Banquet of Flavors

Sexuality is so much more than what most of us have been taught, or grown up to expect. It’s not done in one way that’s considered normal.Sex is not gender specific or older-age restricted. It’s not a performance. It doesn’t even have to include other people. Sexuality comes in a rainbow of energies and a banquet of flavors.Sex can invite us to be light and playful, and it can be intense and psychological. Sex can open our hearts to romance, or unite us in sacred union. Sex can heal us of our pain, and introduce us to new-found pleasures. Sex can lead us into the deeper and more shadowy feelings that lie under the surface, waiting to be revealed.Sexual energy is the human birth-right that we all have in common. How we express our sexual energy and experience it is our choice based on who we are erotically, our life experiences, and our own sexual self-awareness.Learning about the full-spectrum of sexual expressions informs that self-awareness, which is why I created Your Erotic Menu.When I assembled a checklist of erotic activities, it made the most sense to group them into six erotic flavors/styles to help clients understand the full-spectrum of experiences available to explore. They are Sensual, Romantic, Tantric, Passionate, Fetish and Kinky.When I ask clients to check off activities that appeal to them, most will lean toward the flavor/style that is familiar to them. But often what is most familiar is not where transformation lies.We’re all capable of stepping into multiple sides of our erotic selves. I believe all six erotic flavors live within every one of us. Some flavors are more familiar to us than others, and some rarely see the light of day.Shining some light on our more unexplored erotic flavors/styles opens doors to new awareness within ourselves, as well as new dynamics with our partner.My job/passion/calling, as a sex coach, is to re-educate clients and expand their experience of sex.Sexual satisfaction is what everyone strives for, but without reexamining our sexuality and embarking on explorations that lie outside of our current sexual expression, we still face obstacles to our sexual fulfillment. Our biggest obstacles are the self-imposed limits that keep us safe inside our familiar boxes. Outside of these boxes lies curiosity, open-mindedness and new sides of our erotic selves.What does sexual satisfaction mean to you? Here are some of the prerequisites that most of my clients would agree constitute a fulfilling sex life in a relationship:Passion and erotic excitementIntimacy and connectionAuthentic sexual expressionNovelty, variety and curiosityEmotional safety and integrity Each of these sexual attributes can be found in all six sexual flavors.We are all multi-dimensional in our sexuality. When both partners begin to explore their erotic minds, share their fantasies and curiosities, they come to see themselves and each other in a new light.If you’ve been a sensualist all your life, consider exploring different erotic energies like passion or kink. If sex has always been a high energy lustful event, romance or tantra may make you a more versatile lover to your partner.When partners give themselves and each other permission to explore, they open themselves to new discoveries that often heighten their sexual polarity and transform their experience as a couple.When a couple says YES to exploring, they’re saying…YES to revealing more of their erotic selves,YES to being a beginner again and learning new things together,YES to discovering what’s authentic in their sexual expression, andYES to asking for what they want from their partner to support that expression.I created Your Erotic Menu to help couples in their exploration of what is true to them. It starts with an extensive checklist of erotic activities that cover six erotic flavors. In this online course I guide couples in expanding their erotic menus in a way that is sensitive, knowledgeable, and shame-free.Your Erotic Menu is just the beginning of many open and honest conversations about sex. Many of my clients have told me they wish they’d received this adult sex education decades ago.If you’d like a free copy of Your Erotic Menu e-book, private message me here. Say, I want to create my erotic menu, include your email address, and it’ll in your inbox shortly.The Turned-On Couple Community is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to The Turned-On Couple Community at theturnedoncouple.substack.com/subscribe