Shame & Lying: From People-Pleasing to Telling the Truth with Mary Beth Thomsen

You lie one to two times a day. So do I. And most of those lies have nothing to do with being a bad person.In this episode I sit down with Mary Beth Thomsen, intuitive and spiritual life coach, psychic medium, and shamanic practitioner, to unpack the real psychology of lying: why we lie, how lying starts in childhood as a survival strategy, and how those same protective habits turn into self betrayal as adults.Mary Beth teaches her clients how to do deep internal assessments to understand where they are holding themselves back from living their most authentic lives. Her upcoming book, Burn the Ships: The Power of Telling Your Truth to Yourself and the World, gets right to the heart of what we do here: releasing shame so you can live rooted in truth, self trust, and radical acceptance.We get into why lying is almost always about safety and belonging, not malice. Why being lied to can be one of the most triggering experiences even if you have lied plenty yourself. How to teach kids honesty without shaming them. And the question underneath all of it: where in your life are you saying yes when you really mean no?What we cover:What actually counts as a lie, and the lies we tell without knowing itWhy kids start lying around age 2 to 3 and what it really meansThe research: 60 percent of adults lie at least once in a 10 minute conversationWhy being lied to is a trauma triggerHow to teach children truth telling and boundaries without shameThe link between shame, secrecy, and image managementHow to use your body as a truth barometerWhat self betrayal really is and where it hides in your daily lifeThe five years from now exercise for getting radically honestWhy truth telling sometimes costs you relationships, and why it is still worth itTake the next step:Mary Beth created a free Truth-Telling Assessment for this conversation. It is a self betrayal inventory that helps you find where in your life you are not being fully honest with yourself. Take it here: https://www.soulshinescoaching.com/truthConnect with Mary Beth Thomsen:Website: https://www.soulshinescoaching.com/Truth-Telling Assessment: https://www.soulshinescoaching.com/truthInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulshinescoaching/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/soulshinescoaching/Book: Burn the Ships: The Power of Telling Your Truth to Yourself and the World (coming soon)Chapters:0:00 Intro: lying is more layered than you think2:12 What is a lie, actually?3:33 The lies we tell ourselves without knowing6:08 Why we lie: it was never about being bad7:19 How often adults really lie9:26 Lying to belong13:34 Why being lied to is a trauma trigger14:31 How do we teach kids when and how to lie?18:35 The compliant kid problem22:08 Body agency28:47 Shame, secrecy, and image management29:52 Your body as a truth barometer30:51 The Self Betrayal Inventory35:22 What self betrayal really means38:28 Values, alignment, and designing an honest life42:37 The five years from now exercise44:29 Compassion and the permission slip to tell the truth46:33 The cost of honesty52:23 The Cheryl Strayed quote that says it allIf this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs permission to tell the truth. New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one.