PODCAST · health
Untethering Shame
by Kyira Wackett
New episodes every Sunday!Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame.
Episodes
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Shame & Overcontrol: When Control Feels Like Safety with Dr. Samantha Turetsky (Part 1)
Is wanting control actually a problem, or is it the rigidity around it? In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha "Sami" Turetsky joins Kyira to explore overcontrol and Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT), a treatment designed for people...
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Why Being Your Kid's Best Friend Is a Mistake
Should parents be best friends with their kids? Can my kid be my best friend? My answer is no, and here is why. Being close to your kids is beautiful. But when you try to be their best friend, especially once they are adults, the lines get blurry. Instead of staying the parent, you become a peer....
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Shame & Anxiety: Why We'd Rather Worry Than Feel with Chelsea Horton
What if your anxiety isn't the real problem? In this episode, somatic coach and Healing Embodied founder Chelsea Horton joins Kyira to unpack anxiety as a secondary emotion: the thing we feel when we're afraid of feeling something deeper, like rejection, loss, embarrassment, or shame. Together,...
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Why Your Kids Can't Make You Happy (And Shouldn't)
"I would be so happy if you called more." "You are the only thing that makes my life worth it." These comments sound loving, but underneath they send a message: my happiness depends on you. And that is a burden no child, whether they are 5 or 55, should ever have to carry. Here is the truth. Your...
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Shame and Forbidden Curiosity: What It Really Means to Be Fully Seen with Mistress Mia
Mistress Mia is back, and this conversation goes somewhere the first one didn't. Mia is a Transformative Life Coach, Certified Therapeutic BDSM Practitioner, and Sacred Kink & Intimacy Coach. She is also a founding member of the Kink Professional Standards Alliance and the creator of The ARC...
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Scared of Growing Old Alone? Don't Put It on Your Kids
Many of us hate to admit it, but aging brings real fears. The worry that you are becoming irrelevant, that your kids do not need you anymore, that you are slowly being left behind. And when we do not face those fears ourselves, they quietly get pushed onto our kids through guilt trips,...
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Shame and the Lost-Worth Story: Understanding Why We Deny Our Own Worth with Dawna Daigneault
What if the heaviness you carry, the quiet sense that you are somehow not enough, was never about a flaw in you at all? In this episode I sit down with Dawna Daigneault, a licensed therapist, trauma-informed care specialist, and the creator of Worth-Conscious Theory, for a conversation that goes...
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Why Don't My Kids Call Me? (What's Really Going On)
Why Don't My Kids Call Me? If you have ever sat by the phone waiting for it to ring, or felt that sting when you realize it has been weeks since you heard from your child, you are not alone. When you ask, "Why don't my kids call me?" what you might really be asking is: Am I being forgotten? Am I...
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Shame & AI: The Hidden Cost of Communicating Better with Salvatore Manzi
We all have two versions of ourselves now. The one who sends the perfect, AI polished email, and the one who stumbles through the meeting five minutes later. In this episode I sit down again with communication coach Salvatore Manzi to talk about what that gap is really costing us, and why AI…
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You Don't OWE Your Parents Access to Your Kids
Once you have kids of your own, a hard expectation can show up: that your parents are automatically owed unlimited access to your children, and that everything painful between you and them should be forgotten now that there are grandkids in the picture. If you have ever heard "you're keeping them...
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Shame & Loss: What Grief Taught Julie Lucas About Receiving Love
"I thought I knew what grief felt like." A year and a half ago, Julie Lucas' husband Tommie left for a work trip and never came home. What she found on the other side of that loss was not the grief she expected — it was the shame of grieving wrong, the guilt of feeling okay, and the strange...
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When Your Parent Gives You the Silent Treatment (It's Not Your Fault)
When your parent goes silent... — if a parent has ever shut you out, given you the cold shoulder, or gone quiet to punish you, this episode is for you. We break down why the silent treatment is so powerful, why their silence is not your fault and not your job to fix, and three real scripts you…
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Shame, Meltdowns and Tantrums: Managing Emotions in Our Children & Ourselves with Dr. Bethany Bilodeau
Is it defiance, or is it fear? I sit down with Dr. Bethany Bilodeau (Dr. B), an expert in human behavior, to talk about why school refusal, meltdowns, and "non-compliance" are almost always a nervous system that does not feel safe, not a bad kid. Your child plants their feet at the front door.…
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Shame & Being Single: The Stories We Inherit About Being Alone with Amanda Quinby
You are not behind. That feeling has a source, and it is older than you are. Being single is not just a relationship status. For a lot of people, it carries a verdict built out of family questions, cultural timelines, and a lifetime of quiet messages about what it means to still be on your own.…
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E61: You Already Know What You Need. So Why Aren't You Doing It?
Knowing is not the same as changing. And the personal growth industry has blurred that line for a long time. In this AMA episode, I answer an anonymous listener who has understood exactly what they need for years and still cannot act on it. We get into what is actually happening neurologically,...
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Shame, Failing & Regret: When Mistakes Feel Like Proof with Telana Simpson
What does it really cost us to play it safe? And what do we do with the weight of regret when we realize, too late, how much of our life we spent protecting ourselves instead of living it? In this episode, Kyira sits down with Telana Simpson, Courage Coach, facilitator, and podcast host based in...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E60: The Perfectionism Nobody Warned You About (It Looks Nothing Like You Think)
Perfectionism Is Not About Being Perfect Perfectionism is not about being perfect. It's about avoiding the feeling of not being enough. In this episode of Untethering Shame, I answer an anonymous listener who wonders why they procrastinate, abandon projects, and only show up when success feels...
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Shame & Nervous System Healing: Why It Still Feels Hard (Part 2) with Elizabeth Kipp
If I understand my triggers, if I've done the work, why does it still feel so hard? In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Elizabeth Kipp, Stress Management and Historical Trauma Specialist, Certified Addiction Recovery Coach, Ancestral Clearing Practitioner, and international...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E59: The 2am Rehearsal (Why You Know Exactly What to Say and Still Can't Say It)
In this episode of Untethering Shame, I answer an anonymous listener who asks: "I have a list of conversations I've been avoiding. With my partner, with a friend, with my boss, some for months, some for years. I know exactly what needs to be said. I can rehearse the whole thing in my head at 2…
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Shame & Masculinity: Learning Presence Instead of Performance with Alex
Why He Says This Is A Waste Of Time "It's not a character flaw, it's a chemical state." In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Alexander Pujol, a former physician assistant turned performance coach and founder of Quantum Human Performance, to talk about what is actually happening...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E58: Having Needs Doesn't Make You Needy (And Why You Were Taught Otherwise)
Having a need is not the same as being needy. Those two got conflated so early that for a lot of us they feel identical. They're not. This week's anonymous question: "Every time I try to ask for what I need I either over-explain and justify for twenty minutes, or I say nothing and then explode…
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Shame & Your Symptoms: Why Nothing Is Wrong with You with David Bedrick
"The shame is it usually means curing yourself of yourself." In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with David Bedrick, psychotherapist, teacher, and author with more than 35 years of experience working with trauma, shame, addiction, body image, and chronic symptoms. David created The...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E57: Too Much and Not Enough at the Same Time (Understanding the Core Belief That's Been Running Your Life)
Do you carry a quiet, persistent feeling that you are somehow too much for some people and not enough for others, no matter how much work you've done? You are not alone. In this episode, we go beneath the strategies and the affirmations to the place where that feeling actually lives. We tackle a...
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Shame & Developmental Trauma: How Childhood Wounds Shape Our Worth with Jane I-Chen Liu
At 42, Jane went home to Taiwan for Chinese New Year and stayed in a hotel instead of her parents' house. It took four decades of healing work to get there. In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Jane I-Chen Liu, LMHC, SEP, a therapist trained in IFS, EMDR, and Somatic…
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E56: Why You Can't Say No to Your Boss (And What Your Worth Has to Do With It)
Do you say no with confidence to friends and family, then fold the second your boss sends a "do you have a few minutes?" message? You are not alone. In this episode, we get honest about why work boundaries feel impossible even after years of boundary work. We tackle a question from our listener...
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Shame & the Inner Critic: Understanding the Triangle Driving Your Escape with Jessica Fern & David Cooley
Why do we escape, what are we really running from, and what does it actually take to stop? In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley, co-authors of a new book built around the shame triangle. We go deeper…
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🎙️Ask Me Anything – E55: Why Is It So Hard to Admit We’re Wrong?
Do you know you should apologize, but feel your whole body resist the moment it's time to say the words? You are not alone. In this episode, we get honest about why accountability feels so threatening, and why it has far less to do with ego than you think. We tackle a question inspired by one of…
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Shame & Division: Finding Connection Across Difference with Marcia Earhart
Grief doesn't only come from death. Sometimes it comes from the slow loss of a relationship, an identity, a place you used to belong. In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Marcia Earhart, a grief and trauma-informed coach, mediator, and HeartSync minister, for a raw conversation...
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Shame & OCPD: When Your Brain Never Stops and Society Calls It a Feature with Janice Russell
What if the traits you've been praised for your whole life, the perfectionism, the rule following, the relentless work ethic, were actually symptoms of a diagnosis most people have never heard of? In this episode, I sit down with Janice Russell, the Overwhelm Slayer, to unpack Obsessive…
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Shame & the Pill-Popping Culture: What Parents Don't Know and What That Silence Is Costing Our Kids with Michelle Kullman
Please note: this episode covers substance use, fentanyl poisoning, child loss, and grief. Take care while listening. If you're struggling, you can call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or reach SAMHSA at 1-800-662-4357. Michelle Kullmann was sure it would never be her kid. Then her...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E54: How to Teach Your Kids to Sit with Discomfort When You Haven't Learned It Yourself
Do you know you should teach your kids that discomfort isn't an emergency, but freeze because you have never figured out how to sit with it yourself? You are not alone. In this episode, we get honest about teaching a skill you are still learning, and why that might be the most powerful version of...
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Shame & Boundaries: Reclaiming Hope, Choice, and the Courage to Stop Tolerating What Drains You with Elizabeth Webb
What happens when you have done all the things, read the books, attended the webinars, and still feel disconnected from yourself? In this episode I sit down with Elizabeth Webb, positive psychology expert, coach, and author of Made for Magic, to talk about why so many of us stay stuck in patterns...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E53: The Three Buckets That Will Change Every Relationship You Have (Needs, Wants, and What You've Been Quietly Accepting)
Do you keep accepting things in your relationships that you never actually agreed to? You are not alone. In this episode, we get clear on the difference between what you genuinely need, what you truly want, and what you have just quietly been tolerating. We tackle a question from an anonymous...
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Shame & Lying: From People-Pleasing to Telling the Truth with Mary Beth Thomsen
You lie one to two times a day. So do I. And most of those lies have nothing to do with being a bad person. In this episode I sit down with Mary Beth Thomsen, intuitive and spiritual life coach, psychic medium, and shamanic practitioner, to unpack the real psychology of lying: why we lie, how…
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E52: When You've Both Changed (How to Renegotiate a Relationship Without Blowing It Up)
Are you feeling disconnected from your partner even though you rarely fight? You are not alone. In this episode, we address the silent distance, outdated relationship contracts, and the unspoken changes that leave couples feeling lost. We tackle a highly relatable question from an anonymous...
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Shame & Childhood Trauma: How Early Wounds Become Core Beliefs in Adulthood with Sabrina Trobek
It's not what happened to you, it's the emotion you were never allowed to feel. Therapist and author Sabrina Trobak returns to Untethered Shame to explain why "the past is the past" keeps you stuck, and how one quiet core belief, not good enough, not important, not valued, drives anxiety,...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E51: When Family Calls You Selfish for Choosing Yourself (And How to Hold Your Ground Without Losing Yourself)
Have you ever made a decision you knew in your gut was right — then had someone you love tell you it was wrong, until you started doubting everything? Not because new information showed up. Just because their disappointment got so loud it drowned out your own knowing. If you've been there, this...
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Shame & Attraction: Why Your Brain Falls for the Wrong People with Leah Mitchell
Why do I keep choosing the people, relationships, and dynamics that confirm my deepest insecurities? That question sits at the heart of this episode. I'm joined by neuroscience-based love coach Leah Mitchell to unpack why we're drawn to the "wrong" people on a chemical level. We get into why we...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E50: Why You Keep Snapping (And What Your Reactions Are Actually Trying to Tell You)
Are you feeling overwhelmed and constantly snapping at your loved ones? You are not alone. In this episode, we address the exhaustion, chronic stress, and burnout that lead to explosive reactions and intense shame. We tackle a highly relatable question from an anonymous listener: "I'm not an…
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Shame, Power, and Desire: A Trauma-Informed Look at Dominance & Submission
Stop treating your burnout with toxic habits. Explore the unexpected safety of letting go of control. In this episode, we sit down with Mistress Mia, a therapeutic dominatrix who uses her practice for deep inner work and self-development. We break down the cultural taboos surrounding kink,...
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Ask Me Anything – E49: I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore (How to Find Your Way Back When Burnout Took Everything)
★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I've been running on empty...
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Shame & Silence: Lessons on Listening and Love from a Child of Deaf Adults with Maria Gallucci
In this episode, I sit down with Maria Gallucci, a multi-award-winning real estate agent, author, and a proud Child of Deaf Adults (CODA), to uncover the hidden realities of navigating a world built for the hearing. Maria reveals to me the heavy emotional burden of acting as a childhood...
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Ask Me Anything – E48: Why Choosing Yourself Feels Like Losing Everyone (And What to Do When It Does)
★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I finally started putting...
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Shame & Abandonment: Rescuing Your Inner Child with Bronwyn Schweigerdt
Listen in on another vulnerable conversation between Bronwyn and Kyira, both therapists, as they share their own challenges and insights on engaging with their parents. This conversation broaches the conflict many feel as we see how our unhealed wounds of childhood affect us today. Which begs the...
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🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E47: Why Rest Isn't Restoring You (And What an Energy Audit Actually Reveals)
★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I’m doing everything I’m...
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Shame & Conditioning: When Silence Was the Price of Belonging — Part 2 with Ingrid Hu Dahl
In this episode, we explore shame not just as a feeling, but as a deeply ingrained training system. Ingrid Hu Dahl returns to unpack how silence, obedience, and performance are often learned early as survival strategies, especially in families shaped by heavy cultural expectations or generational...
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Shame & Nervous System Regulation with Elizabeth Kipp
In this powerful conversation, we welcome back Elizabeth Kipp for the third time to discuss the missing puzzle piece in addiction and recovery: shame. Rather than viewing shame as a mindset issue or a moral failing, Elizabeth explains the biological reality of our nervous system. This episode...
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🎙️Ask Me Anything – E46: When They Change After You Leave (And Why It Hurts More)
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “I decided to separate from my partner after years of feeling unheard and emotionally unsafe. Now that I’ve pulled away, they’re suddenly being kinder and doing things I begged for in the past. It’s messing with my...
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Shame & Bully Culture: The Silence That Protects Toxic Leaders with Andy Regal
In this episode, I sit down with Andy Regal, a former television executive producer for major networks including MSNBC, CNBC, and Court TV, to discuss the pervasive issue of workplace bullying. Andy shares his deeply personal experiences with toxic leadership, detailing the severe psychological...
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🎙️Ask Me Anything – E45: Why Doesn’t Anything Ever Actually Fix Me?
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: keep thinking I’ve found the answer. The habit. The routine. The practice. The mindset shift. I go all in, hoping this will finally fix my burnout, loneliness, resentment, or anxiety. And when I’m not magically better…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
New episodes every Sunday!Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame.
HOSTED BY
Kyira Wackett
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Untethering Shame have?
Untethering Shame currently has 279 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Untethering Shame about?
New episodes every Sunday!Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if...
How often does Untethering Shame release new episodes?
Untethering Shame publishes regularly with 279 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Untethering Shame?
You can listen to Untethering Shame on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Untethering Shame?
Untethering Shame is created and hosted by Kyira Wackett.
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