Shame & People Pleasing

In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Abby Payne explore the themes of self-worth, people pleasing, and the journey towards self-acceptance. They discuss the importance of recognizing one's own needs and emotions, the impact of societal expectations, and the roots of people pleasing behavior often stemming from childhood experiences. The dialogue emphasizes the need for balance in life, the distinction between kindness and people pleasing, and the significance of unconditional love in fostering a healthy sense of self. In this conversation, Abby Payne, RN, discusses the profound effects of chronic stress on the body and the importance of reconnecting with oneself to build emotional safety and self-trust. She emphasizes the need for nervous system regulation techniques and the journey of self-acceptance, highlighting that vulnerability is a key aspect of personal growth. The dialogue explores how to navigate the pressures of people-pleasing and the significance of self-compassion in overcoming these challenges. We covered: Aligning with our natural gifts leads to purpose Balance and emotional health are interconnected People pleasing behaviors often develop in childhood, particularly from conditional love True kindness differs from people pleasing Self-worth exists independently of productivity Emotional well-being requires both personal and shared responsibility Chronic stress impacts both physical and mental health Building internal security and self-trust requires consistent practice Managing emotions requires trigger awareness and nervous system regulation Self-acceptance and vulnerability are strengths that foster growth More about Abby: “I am a former ICU nurse turned Self-Care Coach specializing in People-Pleasing. I am a recovering people-pleaser who did a deep dive into the roots of people pleasing as I hit extreme burnout during COVID from my lack of ability to ask for help or speak my truth. What I learned re-routed my career to become a Board Certified Nurse Coach and inspired me to help others break free from people pleasing and find authenticity. I do 1:1 coaching and have an 8-week group program called Break the People Pleasing Pattern!” Connect with Abby: Website Facebook Instagram Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. YouTube Website Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction and Body Check-In 03:06 - Exploring Purpose and Acceptance 06:01 - Understanding Balance in Life 08:57 - Defining People Pleasing 12:02 - The Roots of People Pleasing 15:04 - Conditional vs. Unconditional Love 18:07 - The Role of Parent Pleasing 21:00 - Navigating Emotions and Responsibilities 24:08 - The Impact of Social Expectations 27:01 - The Journey to Self-Discovery 28:46 - The Impact of Chronic Stress on the Body 32:31 - Reconnecting with the Self 36:18 - Nervous System Regulation Techniques 39:19 - Building Self-Trust and Safety 44:38 - The Journey of Self-Acceptance 51:43 - Finding Safety in Vulnerability