Shame & The Loss of Self in Parenthood

In this episode of the Untethering Shame podcast, host Kyira Wackett and guest Markella Kaplani delve into the complexities of parenthood, particularly the loss of self that many caregivers experience. They discuss the overwhelming emotions that come with parenting, the societal pressures to be perfect, and the clash between masculine and feminine energies. The conversation emphasizes the importance of acknowledging grief in the transition to parenthood and the need for self-compassion and acceptance. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Markella Kaplani explore the complexities of parenthood, identity, and the emotional challenges that arise during this transformative journey. They discuss the importance of integrating personal values, navigating trust in relationships, and the significance of inner child work. The conversation emphasizes the role of shame in hindering personal growth and the necessity of compassion and curiosity in the healing process. They also address the identity shifts that come with parenthood and the normalization of these experiences to foster connection and understanding among parents.We covered:Parenthood brings significant identity shifts and challengesFeeling overwhelmed while loving your children is normalSocietal pressure creates unrealistic expectations for parentsGrieving pre-parenthood freedom and identity is naturalEach parenting choice involves sacrificing alternativesNot loving every aspect of parenthood is okaySelf-compassion and acceptance aid mental wellbeingShame can block emotional healing and relationship repairEmbodied healing helps address stored shameBuilding community reduces parental isolationMore about Markella:Markella has dedicated her career to assisting adults, parents, and children navigate their mental health challenges.She holds a Master’s degree in Clinical & Counseling Psychology and has over 15 years of experience in both psychotherapeutic and educational settings.In working with such a range of people, she’s had the opportunity to develop a comprehensive understanding of the diverse systems that constitute the human experience. As such, she possesses a holistic point of view, understanding the intricacies of interpersonal relationships and their pivotal role in mental health.After becoming a mom herself, Markella shifted her focus to mothers and couples, recognizing the challenges that parenthood presents, ironically paired with the inordinate lack of assistance provided by our institutions and systems.Connect with Markella:Instagram WebsiteThe Parent & Relationship PodcastResources Mentioned:RECONNECT to Yourself!A FREE mini-course that serves as a great introduction to matrescence - the metamorphosis from woman to mother - and all the ways in which we develop. Learn how you can make all the changes you feel turn from uncomfortable to a SUPEROWER!Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsiteChapters:00:00 - The Complexity of Parenthood and Identity Loss12:49 - The Pressure of Perfectionism in Parenting30:10 - Grieving the Loss of Self in Parenthood40:00 - Trust and Dependence in Relationships43:44 - Inner Child Work and Self-Compassion49:10 - Addressing Shame and Healing Relationships01:03:10 - Normalizing the Parenting Journey