Shame & the Shoulds: Unlearning Who You Were Told to Be with Mikkel Leslie

In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Mikkel Leslie — coach, author, and advocate for living a life that truly feels like yours — to explore the intersection of shame, anxiety, and the “ideal self.”“We’ve spent our whole lives being told who we should be. At some point, we stop asking what actually feels right for us.”Mikkel shares her story of leaving behind a successful but misaligned career in engineering and tech to rediscover her authentic self — a journey that included burnout, anxiety, and a reckoning with the stories she was taught about worth, stability, and success. Together, we unpack how early conditioning shapes our choices, how anxiety keeps us performing and conforming, and what it really means to reconnect with the emotional and physical cues that tell us who we are.Inside this episode, we talk about:The “conveyor belt” of expectation and how it leads us away from who we really areWhat happens when your achievements don’t feel fulfilling — and why money or success can’t fix internal disconnectionThe shame spiral that keeps us stuck in roles that look “right” but feel wrongHow anxiety disconnects us from our emotions and body — and how to rebuild that relationshipThe role of self-compassion as a tool for clarity, not just comfortLearning to breathe, pause, and create space to ask, “What do I actually want?”The tension between paying the bills and pursuing your truth — and how to find both balance and bravery in transitionLetting go of the fear of judgment when redefining success on your own termsIf you’ve ever felt like you were living someone else’s version of your life, this episode is for you.You can’t think your way to your ideal self. You have to feel your way there.Pause before you pivot. The answers come in the stillness, not the scramble.Self-compassion isn’t indulgence — it’s clarity.Anxiety disconnects us from our intuition. Healing starts when we reconnect body, mind, and emotion.You’re not behind — you’re just ready to live differently.More about Mikkel:Mikkel Leslie is a champion, author, and coach for those ready to live their own lives. She has coached hundreds of individuals awakening them to their potential. Before coaching, Mikkel went through her own journey of self-exploration, moving from what she was supposed to do, to what she is passionate about. Her journey started with engineering, tech, and sales and has led her to inspiring others to stand up for their own lives. You will find her at the beach in Southern California with her husband and pet plants.Connect with Mikkel:InstagramReady to take the next step?Join the ⁠Boundaries & Brave Email Challenge⁠⁠Submit a Question⁠ for the PodcastDownload the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite🧭 Key Takeaways