Shame, Trauma, Attachment, and Transforming the Shame Triangle with Jessica Fern & David Cooley

In this episode of the Energy Fixed podcast, Tansy Rodgers engages with trauma therapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley to explore the complex themes of shame and guilt, particularly in relation to trauma. They discuss the 'Shame Triangle,' which illustrates how inner critics, shame, and escapist behaviors interact, and how these dynamics manifest in relationships. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding one's parts, the role of attachment, and the necessity of nervous system regulation in the healing process. Both guests share their personal journeys and insights on transforming shame into self-love, highlighting that healing is a gradual process that requires compassion and understanding.For more shownotes, go here!Disclaimer: For entertainment and educational purposes only. Not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.Watch The Episode On YouTube: https://youtu.be/jsHkJj3TA8YChapters:12:25 Understanding the Shame Triangle18:02 Cues and Signs of Shame22:11 Shame vs. Guilt: Understanding the Difference29:30 The Role of Attachment in Shame33:33 Social Constructs and Shame39:01 Navigating Relationships and Shame41:24 Dialoguing with Parts44:16 Understanding Inner States and Strategies51:18 The Concept of Parts in Internal Family Systems57:48 Navigating the Drama Triangle and Shame01:02:11 Gentle Approaches to Trauma and Shame01:09:02 The Role of Self in Healing Shame01:16:47 Starting the Journey of Self-TransformationGet To Know Jessica Fern & David Cooley: Jessica Fern is an integrative trauma therapist and trained IFS practitioner with 25 years of experience. She holds a Master’s in Conflict Resolution, is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and is the author of Polysecure, Polywise, and Transforming the Shame Triangle. She supports individuals and relationships in healing attachment wounds and trauma patterns. David Cooley is a restorative justice facilitator and creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model, which turns conflict into connection and repair. He works with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships using trauma-informed, attachment-based, and somatic approaches.Links Mentioned In The ShowGet the book! Transforming The Shame Trianglewww.jessicafern.comwww.restorativerelationship.combeU Crystals: beucrystals.comJust Thrive (Probiotics): Use TANSY15 for 15% off!Keywords:Keywordsshame, guilt, trauma, healing, relationships, shame triangle, attachment, mental health, emotional intelligence, personal growth, inner parts, sub-personalities, internal family systems, shame, trauma, self-relationship, nervous system regulation, personal development, transformation, healing