Should We Stop Fostering, One Hard Decision

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pPotential future guests: My friend who is a TherapistDr. Becky Owens with her book The Reset Method David Pisarra with Union of DadsIn this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I talk openly about the emotional weight of losing our toddler placement on Veterans Day and how that loss has forced us to seriously question whether we can continue fostering. After 14 months with him, saying goodbye with little warning and limited transition support was devastating—not just for us, but for him as well. I share my concerns about the sudden disruption to his therapy, daycare, and daily stability, and how emotionally draining it’s been to process yet another major loss after three years of fostering. I also give updates on future podcast plans, mental-health topics I want to explore, upcoming interviews, and the therapy work I’m beginning myself as I try to navigate this season in a healthy way.I also reflect on the accumulated trauma and burnout that has come from repeated crises—runaways, threats of violence, the injury of a pet, blackmail, and what often felt like a lack of meaningful support or protection from the agency. While there have been deeply rewarding moments, the repeated breakdowns in communication and accountability have left us feeling more like a “holding facility” than a respected part of the care team. I talk honestly about the financial, emotional, and mental toll this has taken, and the grief that now overshadows the joy we once felt. Although we still have one teen with us and remain committed to them, this episode reflects a raw moment of uncertainty, exhaustion, and heartbreak—balanced with gratitude for the support of our families, our community, and everyone who has walked this journey with us.00:00 — Intro: Baby Moved Out & Considering Quitting Fostering01:15 — Emotional Impact of the Toddler Leaving01:57 — Disclaimer & Podcast Purpose02:22 — Updates: Therapy, Book, & Upcoming Guest Interviews04:33 — Current Placement & LGBTQ Considerations05:27 — Reasons for Wanting to Stop Fostering08:23 — Burnout, Financial Strain & Agency Issues10:29 — Failures of Workers & Reporting to Officials14:28 — Emotional Toll & Fear for the Toddler’s Future15:32 — Listener Support, Resources & ClosingMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink