The Foster Dad Directive

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode of the Foster Dad Directive podcast, I talk about the challenges of balancing parenthood with working night shift while also trying to maintain my mental health, marriage, and responsibilities around the house. I explain how exhausting it can be to work overnight, get kids ready for school in the morning, sleep during the day, and still try to be emotionally present for my foster children and wife. I share how appointments, therapy sessions, school activities, house maintenance, and constant interruptions make consistent sleep almost impossible, and how that sleep deprivation starts affecting everything from mood and patience to memory and burnout. I also discuss why I continue working third shift, how a more understanding employer has helped tremendously, and some of the strategies I’ve started using—such as scheduling my days, limiting social media, exercising more, and protecting my sleep—to help create more structure and balance in my life.I also reflect on the emotional side of being a night shift parent and foster dad, including the guilt that comes with missing family moments, school activities, or quality time because of work and exhaustion. I talk openly about how isolation, stress, and working odd hours contributed to my struggles with drinking and mental health in the past, especially during my years working law enforcement and corrections. Throughout the episode, I emphasize the importance of protecting your mental and physical health, finding supportive employers, setting boundaries with family obligations, and making intentional time for both your children and yourself. I encourage other parents working difficult schedules to remember that they still deserve downtime, hobbies, rest, and support systems, because constantly sacrificing everything eventually leads to burnout. Even though I admit I’m still figuring things out myself, I wanted this episode to honestly document the reality of trying to be a good parent while living on a completely opposite schedule from the rest of the world.00:12 Parenting While Working Night Shift00:51 Expanding the Podcast Beyond Foster Care01:29 Homeownership and Maintenance Lessons02:21 Parenting Challenges and Child Resources03:21 Podcast Disclaimer and Local Resources04:22 Why Night Shift Works for Foster Parenting05:24 Sleep Deprivation and Emotional Exhaustion06:58 Daily Schedule of a Night Shift Parent09:18 Burnout, Fatigue, and Mental Fog12:31 Missing Family Time and Parenting Guilthttps://kick.com/veterangamingcombineMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I talk about how foster parents are portrayed in TV and movies and how those portrayals often swing between extremes. I reflect on shows like Annie, Shameless, and others where foster parents are either depicted as cruel, neglectful, and money-driven or as overly saintly, heroic figures who completely transform their lives for a child. I explain how these simplified narratives miss the reality of foster care, which is far more complex, emotionally layered, and full of everyday responsibilities rather than dramatic story arcs. I also share my concern that these portrayals can shape how kids entering care view foster homes, either expecting perfection or assuming harm, neither of which is realistic or helpful.I also draw from my personal experience as a foster parent to explain what the system actually looks like. Most days involve routines, appointments, school runs, behavior support, and trying to meet kids where they are after trauma—not dramatic rescues or constant conflict. I talk about how foster parenting is often misunderstood as either financially motivated or purely selfless, when in reality it’s about consistency, safety, and helping kids rebuild skills and trust. I emphasize that media rarely captures the emotional burnout, bureaucracy, or small daily wins that define fostering, and I stress the importance of understanding foster care as something grounded, imperfect, and deeply human rather than the extremes often shown on screen.00:12 Foster Parents Portrayal in TV and Film00:35 Incompetent Fathers in Media Tropes00:54 Disclaimer and Foster Care Update01:33 Negative Foster Parent Portrayal in “Thrash”02:15 Foster Care Stipend and Financial Reality03:13 Foster Parent Tropes Overview04:01 Concerning Foster Placement Experience and Reporting05:09 Teaching Affection and Boundaries in Foster Care06:26 “Instant Family” and Media Realism Discussion07:20 Media Impact on Foster Care PerceptionMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode of the Foster Dad Directive, I talk about fatherhood and the challenge of building real friendships as a dad, especially when life gets busy and priorities shift. Even though I’m fairly comfortable with technology and social media, I still find it difficult to connect with other people who share similar interests or life circumstances. I reflect on how most of my friendships are long-term but limited in number, and how becoming a parent—especially a foster parent—has changed both my social circle and the way I relate to others. I also share how past relationships, including friendships tied to drinking, faded as my life changed, reinforcing how hard it can be to build new meaningful connections in adulthood.I go on to discuss practical ways I’ve started trying to connect with other dads, such as using Facebook groups, local community events, and parenting-related meetups. I share my own experience joining a foster and adoption group that led to regular meetups, activities like pickleball, and even plans for a retreat, showing how unexpected opportunities can come from simply showing up. I also talk about the importance of not forcing networking, being patient, and focusing on shared experiences rather than trying to immediately form deep bonds. Ultimately, I encourage other dads to keep putting themselves out there, try different communities, and remember that meaningful connections often take time to develop naturally.00:00 – Fatherhood and Struggles With Friendship00:20 – Tech Comfort vs. Real-World Connection Challenges00:45 – How Parenting and Fostering Reshaped Social Life01:10 – Losing Old Friendships After Lifestyle Changes01:35 – Difficulty Making New Adult Friendships02:00 – Using Facebook Groups and Community Events02:25 – Joining Foster and Adoption Meetups02:50 – Activities Like Pickleball and Group Gatherings03:15 – Learning Not to Force New Relationships03:40 – Encouragement to Keep Showing Up SociallyMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I talk about what respite care is in foster parenting and how it’s been a part of our experience over the past few years. I explain that respite is essentially a temporary break where foster kids stay with another licensed family, whether it’s for a short trip, an emergency situation, or just a needed reset. I share how we’ve used it for both difficult situations—like when a child was struggling and needed a different environment—and for practical reasons like travel. I also make it clear that respite isn’t a bad thing; in many cases, it’s healthy for both the kids and the parents, giving everyone time to recharge and even helping kids gain perspective by seeing how other households operate.I also get into some frustrations I have with the system, especially when foster families disrupt placements because they’re having biological children, which I personally feel can be harmful to the kids involved. Beyond that, I talk about how exhausting foster care can be and why breaks are sometimes necessary, especially when dealing with high-needs or traumatized children. I also expand the idea of respite to non-foster families, suggesting things like swapping kids with trusted friends or finding safe ways to give parents a break. Overall, I emphasize that having support systems in place is crucial, and I encourage others to share their own ideas and experiences when it comes to finding safe, reliable care for kids.00:00 – Intro & Topic (Respite Explained)01:00 – Disclaimer & Context01:30 – Current Situation & Daily Challenges02:20 – Why This Topic Came Up03:15 – Frustrations with Foster System Decisions05:15 – What Respite Is Used For06:00 – Importance of Breaks for Families07:00 – Benefits for Kids08:20 – Real Example of Positive Respite Experience09:50 – Practical Tips & AlternativesMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I talk about my concerns around AI chatbots and how they’re interacting with kids, especially based on experiences we’ve had with foster placements. I explain that while I do use AI for my podcast, it’s strictly for time-saving tasks like thumbnails, summaries, and transcripts—not for actual content or research, which I handle myself. I’m cautious about relying on AI because I’ve seen how inaccurate and misleading it can be. I also touch on how quickly AI is evolving, how widespread it’s become, and why that makes it difficult for both adults and kids to fully understand or control.I spend a lot of time discussing the risks for children, especially around inappropriate use, misinformation, and emotional attachment to chatbots. From what I’ve seen, kids can easily trust or misuse these tools, and the lack of real accountability in AI responses makes that dangerous. I also bring up issues like deepfakes, harassment, and how easy it is now to create harmful content without much skill. For me, the biggest takeaway is that parents need to stay involved—limit access, have open conversations, and make sure kids understand what’s real and what’s not. At the end of the day, I see AI as useful in small, controlled ways, but something that needs to be handled very carefully when it comes to children.00:00 — Intro: AI chatbots & kids00:30 — Transparency on AI use in podcast01:19 — Disclaimer & importance of verifying info02:18 — How AI is used (thumbnails, summaries, transcripts)04:54 — Personal disinterest in chatbots & overuse concerns05:36 — Risks: kids misusing chatbots & inappropriate content07:33 — AI misinformation, fake images & “AI slop”10:31 — Inaccuracy of AI & risks for kids trusting it11:27 — Serious dangers: deepfakes & harassment19:26 — Parenting approach: limits, conversations & monitoringMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this announcement episode, I share that I’m expanding the podcast by starting live streams on Kik and Twitch to make the show more interactive and consistent. I explain that I’m still figuring out the best schedule, especially with camping season coming up and weekends becoming busy, so I’m asking regular listeners to reach out with times that work best for them. My goal is to create a space where listeners can suggest topics in real time, participate through chat, and join Q&A sessions after recordings, even if they’re not comfortable appearing as guests themselves. I also mention that these streaming channels will connect with my older Veteran Gaming brand, which already has a larger following than my podcasts.I also talk about why this shift matters to me personally. Streaming gives me a chance to connect directly with listeners, gather fresh ideas, and make the podcast feel less one-sided. I want the show to evolve into something more flexible and enjoyable rather than feeling like a second unpaid job, because if it stops being fun, it loses its purpose for me. While I’m still learning how to balance streaming and talking live, I see this as a way to improve both the podcast and my public speaking skills. Above all, I thank everyone who has been listening and supporting the podcast so far, because knowing people are tuning in is what keeps me motivated to continue creating new episodes.00:00 – Streaming Announcement00:20 – Scheduling Listener Input00:40 – Platform Details and Username Info01:03 – Interactive Topic Suggestions and Q&A01:30 – Improving Podcast Consistency01:49 – Future Stream Possibilities02:11 – Streaming Experience and Growth02:38 – Evolving the Podcast Format03:12 – Appreciation for Loyal Listeners03:35 – Closing Thanks and Feedback InvitationMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I open up about my struggles with consistency in recording the podcast and how a lot of that comes from getting in my own head. I worry about whether the topics I’m covering are actually helpful or reaching anyone, which has caused me to take breaks at times. I talk about shifting the focus of the podcast a bit—moving from strictly foster parenting topics to more general fatherhood content—while still including my experiences as a foster dad. I also mention wanting to branch into other areas like recipes, practical parenting ideas, and even discussions around addiction, especially technology, which is something I personally deal with.I also explain my plan to improve consistency by recording episodes ahead of time, especially with upcoming camping trips and a busy schedule. I’m hoping to set more structured recording and streaming times with platforms like Twitch and Kick to hold myself accountable. At the end of the day, I emphasize that life and family come first, but I still want the podcast to be a helpful resource for both myself and others. I encourage listeners to reach out with feedback, ideas, or suggestions to help me stay on track and make the content more useful.00:00 — Intro & addressing listeners00:15 — Struggles with consistency & self-doubt00:35 — Expanding focus beyond foster dads00:55 — Learning parenting & sharing experiences01:05 — Covering addiction & technology topics01:15 — Planning ahead & recording in batches01:32 — Streaming plans (Twitch/Kick)01:53 — Balancing life vs. podcast priorities02:00 — Goal: helping others & sharing resources02:12 — Call for feedback & topic ideasMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I focus on practical snack ideas for kids that balance nutrition, convenience, and cost. I talk about how hard it is to avoid overly processed foods and share the things that have worked for us, like lower-ingredient treats, bulk snacks portioned into containers, dried fruits, nuts, and simple combos like veggies with dips. I also mention fun options like international snack boxes, which make snack time more interactive and let the kids try foods from different countries.I emphasize that moderation is key rather than cutting out “junk food” completely, because that can lead to overindulgence. Instead, I try to give the kids occasional treats while prioritizing healthier options so they can build better habits. I also talk about how busy schedules make snack prep challenging, the value of shopping at places like Costco for affordable options, and the ongoing learning process of figuring out what works best for my kids and me as a parent.00:00 — Intro & podcast focus00:27 — Challenges of healthy snacks for kids01:12 — Fostering updates & disclaimers02:21 — Teens & emotional impact of placement changes03:21 — Busy schedules & easy snack ideas04:18 — Snack recommendations (Mr. Beast, Universal Yums)06:35 — Portioning, fruits, nuts, and veggies07:22 — Teaching moderation & healthy habits09:34 — Costco & convenience for snacks12:04 — Listener feedback, shoutouts & closingMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I talk about the importance of having hobbies for both parents and kids and how they can help with mental health, bonding, and keeping kids engaged in positive activities. While the podcast originally focused mostly on foster parenting, I’m expanding it to cover fatherhood and parenting in general. I share some updates about our current foster placement and the possibility of adoption, along with some of the challenges that come with raising kids who have experienced trauma.I also go over several hobbies that have worked well for us over the past few years, including gaming together, painting and crafts, and making vinyl stickers with a cutting machine. These activities have been great for building focus, creativity, and spending time together as a family. My goal is to share ideas that other parents can try with their kids, and I invite listeners to send in their own suggestions for hobbies and activities that help bring families together.00:00 — Podcast Introduction: Expanding Beyond Foster Care Topics00:22 — Episode Topic: Hobbies for Parents and Kids00:42 — Disclaimer & Podcast Purpose01:01 — Foster Care Update: Possible Adoption of the Girls03:44 — Why Hobbies Matter for Mental Health04:23 — Gaming as a Hobby (Doing It With Kids)05:00 — Nintendo Switch and Couch Co-Op Games06:18 — Cheap Crafts and Painting Activities for Kids07:14 — Making Vinyl Stickers With a Cricut08:41 — Encouraging Kids to Try New HobbiesMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink#fosterdad #foster #fostercare #fosteringsaveslives #fostersaveslives

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I talk about what phone might be the best option for your teen, especially if you're trying to balance giving them independence while still keeping them safe online. After dealing with multiple foster teens and seeing firsthand how easily technology can turn into an addiction, I share what we've learned about managing phones, social media, and online safety. I also explain why controlling access to apps, contacts, and downloads can be incredibly important for protecting kids from risky online behavior.I compare our experiences using Apple devices, Android phones, and parental control apps like AT&T Secure Family, and discuss which options seem to offer the best tools for monitoring and limiting usage. Even though I personally prefer Android phones, I’ve found that Apple devices currently provide much stronger parental controls. I also talk about some of the challenges we’ve faced with teens giving out personal information online and why parents need to stay actively involved in monitoring technology use.00:00 — Introduction: Parenting & Technology Challenges00:15 — Episode Topic: Choosing the Best Phone for Teens00:35 — Disclaimer: Parenting Advice, Not Professional Advice01:14 — Our Experience With Teens and Phone Addiction02:16 — Two Main Approaches: Phone Choice vs Control Apps02:33 — Apple vs Android for Parental Controls03:32 — Setting Screen Time Limits (Even for Yourself)04:28 — AT&T Secure Family App: Pros and Cons06:16 — What Happens When Teens Try to Bypass Controls07:31 — Teaching Kids Internet Safety & Stranger DangerMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I talk about what can happen if someone else claims your child, foster child, or dependent on their taxes and the options you have to handle the situation. I explain the two main paths you can take: either removing the child from your return so you can e-file quickly, or filing a paper return with documentation to prove that you had legal custody and the right to claim the dependent. I also go over the types of records that can help support your claim, such as school records, daycare information, medical documents, and official foster placement paperwork.I share our own experience dealing with this situation after having a foster child in our home for most of the year and discuss why keeping every piece of documentation is so important when it comes to taxes and foster care placements. While I’m not a tax professional, my goal is to explain what the process can look like and encourage anyone dealing with a similar issue to gather their records and speak with a tax professional to make sure everything is handled correctly.00:00 — Episode Introduction: Tax Issues With Dependents00:20 — Disclaimer: Not a Tax Professional00:50 — Foster Care Update: Possible Adoption01:10 — What Happens If Someone Claims Your Child on Taxes01:11 — Option 1: Remove the Dependent and E-File01:30 — Option 2: File a Paper Return to Dispute the Claim02:16 — Why We Chose to Dispute the Claim02:45 — Documents You Need to Prove Custody03:22 — Foster Parent Documentation (Placement Letters & DHS Forms)04:41 — Why We Filed Paper Instead of E-FilingMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I talk about child tax credits and when you can claim a dependent, especially from the perspective of foster parents or parents who may be unsure about how the rules apply. I go over some of the basic guidelines listed on the IRS website, including residency requirements, qualifying child rules, and the six-month living requirement that often applies in foster care situations. My goal is to help explain what to look for if you're wondering whether you may be eligible to claim a child on your taxes.I also share some personal experiences with filing taxes and why it’s important to double-check everything or work with a tax professional before claiming credits like the Child Tax Credit. Tax mistakes can lead to penalties, interest, and financial stress, especially when credits involve dependents. This episode is meant to give a general overview and encourage parents to research the rules carefully so they can make informed decisions when tax season comes around.00:00 — Podcast Direction Update (Parenting Beyond Foster Care)00:40 — Episode Topic: Child Tax Credits Explained01:01 — Important Disclaimer: Talk to a Tax Professional01:50 — Where to Find the Rules (IRS Website Guide)02:13 — Dependent Eligibility Requirements03:26 — What Counts as a “Qualifying Child”04:09 — Residency Rule: The 6-Month Requirement04:32 — Qualifying Relative vs Qualifying Child05:13 — Other Tax Credits Parents Should Know06:19 — Why Filing Taxes Correctly MattersMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1) National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected]​In this episode, I talk about experimenting with bringing video back into the podcast. For a long time I stuck to audio because I felt self-conscious recording when people were around or worrying about background noise, but I’m starting to feel more comfortable with the idea. I explain some of the differences between the audio and video versions, including why the audio tends to be more edited while the video will likely be more natural and uncut.I also share how video could help me show things visually—like books, devices, apps, or other resources I talk about on the podcast. It won’t be heavily edited, so it may not be for everyone, but if you enjoy that more authentic format I’d love to hear your feedback as I try expanding the podcast into video.00:00 — Intro: Recording for Both Podcasts00:21 — Editing Style & Breathing / Rhinitis Explanation00:44 — Why Audio Is More Edited Than Video01:01 — Benefits of Video: Showing Books, Phones & Screens01:32 — Raw Video Format & Limited Editing01:40 — Request for Feedback From Listeners01:45 — Appreciation for Listener Support & ClosingMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I share the story of our second foster and adoption attempt, which actually began before our first placement but was delayed because our paperwork hadn’t been fully completed. I talk about the process of meeting Lex, a teenager who was living in a group home at the time, and how our visits gradually progressed from supervised meetings to overnights before she eventually moved into our home. Throughout the episode, I reflect on some of the challenges we encountered, including trauma-related behaviors, food insecurity, and difficulties with boundaries that can sometimes arise when fostering older youth.I also discuss some of the broader issues this experience highlighted, including technology use, online safety, social media behavior, and the growing role of AI and digital platforms in teenagers’ lives. From Discord interactions to concerns about privacy and digital boundaries, I explain how these experiences shaped the way we approach technology rules and safety for kids in our care. My goal with this episode is to share what we learned so other foster parents—or parents in general—can better understand the challenges and resources involved in helping children who have experienced significant trauma.00:00 — Intro: Second Foster / Adoption Attempt00:42 — Background: How the Placement Process Began01:34 — Disclaimer & Foster Parenting Context01:56 — Life With the Current Kids & Household Updates03:14 — Meeting Lex & Transition From Group Home04:21 — Early Warning Signs & Behavioral Challenges06:07 — Trauma, Boundaries & Safety Concerns08:12 — AI, Technology & Online Behavior Issues10:20 — Phone Controls, Social Media & Child Safety13:14 — What Happened After Lex Left Our CareMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode of Dad’s Book Club, I review Dad’s Child Custody Action Plan by attorney David Zahra. I’m not compensated for this review—I share my honest thoughts on the book and why I found it so useful, not just for custody cases, but for anyone navigating court systems, foster care, or advocating for children. The book breaks down how to prepare for court, present evidence, work with attorneys, manage emotions, and protect your role as a parent in a system that often feels stacked against dads.I also talk about Zahra’s background, the additional resources he offers, and why this book stood out as practical, direct, and empowering. Whether you’re dealing with custody, foster care, or just trying to document and advocate for kids effectively, this book offers tools that can make a real difference.00:00 — Intro: Dad’s Book Club + Book Overview00:23 — Disclaimer & Legal Caveat (Not Legal Advice)01:00 — Episode Pace, Hiatus, and Family Time Context01:20 — About the Author: David Zahra’s Background01:41 — Community, Interviews, and Support Networks02:08 — Book Breakdown: Court Prep, Evidence & Strategy03:13 — Why the Book Applies Beyond Custody Cases03:58 — Podcast Quotes, Emotional Support & Mindset04:45 — Gender Bias, Courts, Trauma & Child Development06:05 — Resources, Courses, Cost Perspective & Final RecommendationMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I share a quick review of Dad’s Child Custody Action Plan by David Zahra and focus on five things I really liked about the book. I talk about how it breaks down courtroom etiquette, documentation and evidence, choosing the right lawyer, understanding judges, and creating a proactive parenting plan. These are things that are useful not just for custody cases, but for navigating court systems in general.I’m not compensated for this review—I bought the book myself and wanted to share what stood out. While I wish the audiobook QR code had worked, I found the book to be practical, easy to follow, and genuinely helpful. If you’re going through a custody situation or want to better understand how to advocate for yourself and your kids, this is a resource worth looking into.00:00 — Intro & Book Overview00:18 — Purpose of This Short Review (Top 5 Takeaways)00:38 — Courtroom Etiquette & How to Present Yourself00:58 — Evidence, Documentation & Witnesses01:00 — Laws to Focus On & Choosing the Right Lawyer01:21 — Knowing the Judge & Trial Preparation01:22 — Parenting Plans, Classes & Being Proactive01:20 — One Criticism: Audiobook QR Code Issue01:39 — Final Thoughts & Recommendation01:53 — Call for Feedback & ClosingMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I give a short review of Raising Regulated Kids: The Reset Method by Dr. Becky Owens and highlight five things I really liked about the book, along with one area I think could’ve been expanded on. I’m not compensated for this review—I bought the book myself for the podcast—and I also have a longer, more in-depth review available if you want to dive deeper.I talk about how the book focuses on regulation and co-regulation, understanding environmental triggers, leading with empathy instead of punishment, breaking generational parenting patterns, and using practical tools and check-ins to support kids outside of crisis moments. While I wish the book had gone deeper in certain sections, I’ve already started using some of these ideas with my foster kids and found them genuinely helpful. For the price, it’s a solid, accessible parenting resource I’d recommend checking out.00:00 — Intro & Book Overview00:22 — Disclosure & Why I Bought the Book00:32 — Regulation & Co-Regulation00:41 — Environmental Factors & Planning Ahead00:57 — Empathy, Understanding & Discipline vs Punishment01:10 — Generational Parenting & Letting Go of Shame01:32 — Tools, Exercises & Ongoing Check-Ins01:44 — One Area for Improvement (Book Length)01:53 — Final Thoughts, Recommendation & Cost02:03 — Call for Feedback & ClosingMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] this episode, I introduce a new segment called Dad’s Book Club, where I review parenting and family-related books I buy for the podcast. This episode focuses on The Reset Method by Dr. Becky Owens. I’m not compensated for this review—I share my honest take on what I found helpful, what stood out, and how the ideas connect to parenting, especially when raising kids who’ve experienced trauma.I walk through the core ideas of the Reset Method, including regulation, connection before correction, and understanding children’s behavior through emotional safety rather than discipline alone. I also share how I’ve started applying some of these concepts in real life and why I found the book approachable, practical, and worth the read. If you’re looking for affordable, easy-to-understand parenting resources, this is one I’d recommend checking out.00:00 — Intro: New Segment “Dad’s Book Club” + Purpose00:20 — No Compensation, Personal Review, Disclaimer00:59 — Who This Is For: Parenting, Trauma, Foster & Adoptive Kids01:20 — About the Author: Dr. Becky Owens02:06 — What Is the Reset Method Framework02:59 — Book Structure + Supplemental Tools & Resources03:48 — Core Idea: Regulate Before Correct04:50 — Self-Regulation, Co-Regulation, Nervous System Basics06:53 — Emotional Safety, Public vs Home Behavior07:51 — Final Thoughts, Recommendation, Cost & ClosingMy Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode, I explain how I structure the descriptions for both of my podcasts—one focused on parenting and foster parenting, and the other on addiction and personal growth. I intentionally keep the format consistent to make things easier to manage and to ensure the most important information comes first. At the top of every description, I include crisis and support resources because your safety and mental health matter more than any episode topic.I also walk through the rest of the description layout, including how to contact me, where to send feedback or ideas, how to use timestamps, and why I keep a low-key Patreon as a resource hub rather than a paywall. My goal with both podcasts is to create a supportive, judgment-free space that prioritizes help, honesty, and real conversations—whether you’re a parent, a foster parent, or someone working through addiction or life’s heavier moments.00:00 — Why This Description Applies to Both Podcasts00:36 — Focus on Resources & Crisis Support First00:55 — Encouragement to Seek Help (Mental Health & Crisis)01:28 — Military, Law Enforcement & Stigma Around Help02:10 — Reaching Out, Email Support & Community Care02:35 — Discord Server, Emails & Listener Feedback03:10 — Episode Descriptions, Timestamps & Navigation03:56 — Patreon Purpose & Resource Hub Vision04:32 — Closing Thanks & Ongoing Podcast GoalsMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this short bonus message, I explain why I created a Patreon for Foster Dad Directive. It’s intentionally kept low-key and tucked at the bottom of each episode, because there’s absolutely no obligation to sign up. The main purpose is to store original, ad-free versions of episodes and to give listeners an optional way to support the podcast if they choose.Any support goes directly back into improving the podcast and helping families—things like books and resources, parenting classes, training subscriptions, better audio equipment, and occasionally guest interviews. My goal isn’t to make money, but to build a meaningful resource for foster parents and parents in general. Whether you support financially or just listen, I’m grateful you’re here.00:00 — Patreon Intro & No-Obligation Disclaimer00:00:30 — Purpose of Patreon (Ad-Free Storage & Support Option)00:00:47 — Where Support Money Goes (Books, Guests, Resources)00:01:04 — Planned Uses: Training, Subscriptions, Equipment, Kids00:01:38 — Closing Thanks & Vision for the PodcastMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode of Foster Dad Directive, I talk about grief and bereavement resources, drawing from my own experiences over the last few years—losing family members, pets, and foster children, along with the quieter grief that comes from life changes like sobriety and shifting responsibilities. I share a Michigan-based resource, MI211.org/grief, which offers a wide range of support options including grief counseling, hospice services, burial resources, veteran services, crisis lines, and support groups. If you’re outside Michigan, I encourage you to look up similar resources in your own state.I also talk about the importance of finding support that actually fits your life—whether that’s therapy, peer groups, community support, or simply having someone to talk to who understands your experiences. No single resource works for everyone, and it’s okay to try different options. I invite listeners to share resources that have helped them, because even a small suggestion could make a huge difference for someone else. If you’re struggling right now, please know you’re not alone, help is available, and your life truly matters.00:00 — Intro: Grief, Bereavement & Why This Episode Matters00:26 — Loss Through Fostering, Family & Life Changes00:51 — Michigan Grief Resources (mi211.org) Overview01:33 — Therapy, Support Groups & Where to Start02:12 — Finding the Right Help & Limits of One Therapist02:30 — Sharing Resources to Help Others03:13 — Listener Call-In, Crisis Resources & Closing SupportMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode, I talk about jealousy between foster siblings and how it shows up in real foster and blended family homes. I explain why jealousy is so common—especially when kids come from different backgrounds, trauma histories, and attachment experiences—and how it can surface as withdrawal, frustration, acting out, or even requests to leave the home. I also share how shifts in household dynamics can intensify feelings of insecurity or replacement for other children already in care.I then walk through practical strategies for reducing sibling jealousy, including staying calm, recognizing that every child’s needs are different, spending one-on-one time with each child, planning flexible routines, listening honestly to complaints, making special efforts to honor each child’s culture and interests, asking for help, not forcing emotional disclosure, using games and shared activities to build connection, rewarding positive adjustments, and intentionally bonding as a family. I share real examples of what worked, what didn’t, and moments I wish I could redo, while emphasizing that foster parents can do everything “right” and still face outcomes beyond their control. Ultimately, this episode is about showing kids they aren’t being replaced, building trust over time, and giving yourself grace as a foster parent—because jealousy doesn’t mean failure, it means kids are trying to feel safe in a world that has rarely felt stable for them.In this episode, I talk about jealousy between foster siblings and how it shows up in real foster and blended family homes. I explain why jealousy is so common—especially when kids come from different backgrounds, trauma histories, and attachment experiences—and how it can surface as withdrawal, frustration, acting out, or even requests to leave the home. I reference two articles I used as guides, primarily one from Wockhardt Hospital and another from Agape Adoption Agency, and I reflect on how their advice connects to situations we’ve experienced firsthand. I also share personal updates about welcoming two high-energy girls into our home, the emotional impact of losing a toddler placement, and how shifts in household dynamics can intensify feelings of insecurity or replacement for other children already in care.I share real examples of what worked, what didn’t, and moments I wish I could redo, while emphasizing that foster parents can do everything “right” and still face outcomes beyond their control. Ultimately, this episode is about showing kids they aren’t being replaced, building trust over time, and giving yourself grace as a foster parent—because jealousy doesn’t mean failure, it means kids are trying to feel safe in a world that has rarely felt stable for them.00:00 — Intro, Podcast Direction & Topic Overview00:21 — Jealousy Between Foster Siblings Explained01:16 — Sources Used & Why Jealousy Happens02:48 — New Placements, Household Changes & Emotional Impact04:25 — Too Many Placements Too Fast & Real-World Examples06:43 — Staying Calm & Emotional Regulation as a Parent09:28 — Individual Time, Planning & Listening to Each Child12:27 — Making Special Efforts & Cultural Sensitivity15:23 — Support Systems, Family Help & Emotional Safety18:01 — Games, Rewards, Bonding & Final TakeawaysMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)My Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/[email protected] this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I talk openly about grief and loss while parenting and fostering, sharing how closely these experiences collided in my own life. Within the same week, our toddler left to live with family on Veteran’s Day, and I lost my grandpa just days later. On top of that, 2023 brought the heartbreaking loss of two of my dogs, Perseus and Jade, both of whom I had to make end-of-life decisions for myself. I reflect on how different types of loss—family, pets, and foster placements—carry their own weight, yet often overlap in ways that make grieving even harder. I also discuss how high-emotion situations with foster youth, including running away and behavioral struggles, added extra strain during an already overwhelming season.I share what has helped me navigate grief while still showing up as a caregiver: therapy, self-care, remembering loved ones in healthy ways, finding safe spaces to process emotions, and reassuring children through change. I talk about the importance of not bottling emotions, avoiding burnout, and giving yourself grace during exhausting seasons of parenting. I also emphasize that it’s okay to slow down, rest, and focus on mental health without guilt. Grief doesn’t follow a straight line, and neither does healing—but by taking care of ourselves, we become better equipped to care for the kids who depend on us. I close by reminding listeners that they are not alone in their grief, that their lives matter, and that there is always hope for tomorrow—even on the hardest days.00:00 — Introduction & Personal LossesLoss of your grandpa, pets, and changes during fostering.01:19 — Disclaimer & Current Placement UpdateScope of the episode and brief respite update.02:47 — Safety, Big Emotions & Foster KidsUnderstanding emotional reactions in children entering care.04:19 — Veterans Day, Toddler’s Departure & GrievingStacked losses in the same week and emotional impact.05:58 — Losing Pets & Making End-of-Life DecisionsThe emotional weight of choosing euthanasia for beloved dogs.07:09 — Parenting While Actively GrievingBalancing funerals, placements, and emotional regulation.08:55 — Therapy as a Key Grief ToolProcessing loss, male stigma, and mental health support.11:27 — Remembering Loved Ones & Healthy ReflectionHonoring memories without sinking into depression.15:56 — Safe Spaces, Burnout & Self-CareAvoiding overload, finding support, and protecting your energy.17:56 — Reassuring Children & Final EncouragementHelping kids feel secure while giving yourself grace.My Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/[email protected] this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I focus on the importance of healthy self-care, especially for foster parents and caregivers who live under constant stress. Using the Scottsdale Recovery framework, I walk through eight core types of self-care: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, environmental, social, and financial. I share how I’ve personally struggled with burnout from years of poor sleep, fast food, long shifts, and nonstop responsibilities, and how I’ve recently begun rebuilding my health through exercise, home-cooked meals, better sleep habits, and cutting back on things that hurt my energy and recovery. I talk honestly about weight gain, exhaustion, caffeine and alcohol use, and how even small changes—like short daily workouts and better food choices—have already started improving my energy and stress levels.I also open up about the emotional and mental side of self-care, including journaling, therapy, mindfulness, and learning to slow down before reacting—especially as a foster parent dealing with teens and trauma. I explain how spiritual purpose, intellectual growth through reading and learning, environmental improvements at home and in my yard, stronger social connections with family, and better financial planning have all played a role in helping me stabilize my life. Above all, I emphasize that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for survival, for our families, and for the kids we care for. I remind listeners that you don’t need money or perfection to take care of yourself, only intention, consistency, and the willingness to slow down. I close by encouraging foster parents to protect their own well-being so they can continue showing up for others with a clear mind and a full heart.00:00 — Episode Introduction & Purpose of Self-CareHealthy self-care vs. unhealthy coping.01:38 — The 8 Types of Self-Care OverviewPhysical, mental, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, environmental, social, financial.02:07 — Physical Self-CareExercise, sleep, diet, weight loss, reducing fast food and caffeine.05:03 — Mental Self-CareMindfulness, meditation, stress management, therapy challenges.06:44 — Emotional Self-CareJournaling, emotional awareness, Reset Method insights.07:49 — Spiritual Self-CareValues, purpose, volunteering, AA perspective on higher power.09:09 — Intellectual Self-CareReading, learning, podcasts, creativity, staying mentally sharp.10:44 — Environmental Self-CareGardening, decluttering, home organization, improving living space.12:28 — Social Self-CareFamily relationships, connection, isolation, quality time.14:29 — Financial Self-Care & Final ReflectionsBudgeting, debt, emergency savings, long-term stability.

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I break down the different permanency goals in foster care—reunification, adoption, guardianship, and independent living—and explain how these goals can shift quickly based on court decisions and family progress. I share how, in Michigan, most children enter care with reunification as the primary goal, meaning foster parents are tasked with providing daily care while also supporting family visits, medical needs, school enrollment, and stability during an incredibly chaotic time. I talk openly about how strongly I believe in children being with their families when it is truly in their best interest, but also why there comes a point where a child’s safety and long-term well-being must matter more than maintaining biological ties. Drawing from personal experience, I explain how long children can be kept in limbo before parental rights are considered for termination and how emotionally difficult that waiting period can be for everyone involved—especially the child.I also walk through what happens when reunification is no longer possible and cases move toward adoption, guardianship, or independent living. I explain how adoption from foster care works, the legal rights it provides, and the realities of adopting children who often carry deep trauma from years in the system. I compare that with foster guardianship, which allows caregivers to take on full parental responsibility without terminating biological parental rights, and independent living, where older teens are prepared for adulthood through life-skills programs, budgeting, education, and job support. I share how several of our placements have moved through these different paths, including youths who aged out of the system, and how heartbreaking that process can be. I close by reflecting on how complex and fragile each permanency outcome truly is, especially for teens navigating identity, trauma, and major life transitions, and I invite listeners to share their experiences while reminding them they are not alone in this process.00:00 — Introduction & Episode FocusOverview of foster care permanency goals: reunification, adoption, guardianship, and independent living.01:09 — Personal Update & Emotional ContextGrandfather’s passing, infant leaving, and why this topic was chosen for this episode.01:59 — Foster Care & Reunification ExplainedState wardship, legal limitations, and the foster parent’s role in reunification.03:49 — Child’s Best Interest vs. Family RightsWhen reunification may no longer be the safest option.05:09 — Termination of Parental Rights TimelineMichigan’s 15-month guideline and why kids shouldn’t stay in limbo.06:37 — Adoption Through Foster CareMER (Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange), trauma background, and legal changes after adoption.09:32 — Foster Guardianship DefinedHow guardianship works and how it differs from adoption.11:11 — Independent Living & Aging OutBudgeting, stipends, responsibilities, and youth independence.12:32 — MYOI Program & Life Skills TrainingEducation, job skills, savings programs, and long-term support.15:47 — Current Placement & Closing ReflectionsUncertain outcome, transgender youth challenges, and community invitation.

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I walk through Michigan Compiled Law 722.958a, also known as the Foster Parent Bill of Rights, and explain what it means in real-world terms based on everything we’ve personally experienced. I break down the rights foster parents are supposed to have—being treated with dignity and respect, receiving full information about placements, getting proper training and support, being reimbursed on time, and being included in case planning and court proceedings. I also give personal updates about the continued grief of losing the baby placement, the recent passing of my grandfather, and the emotional toll that’s been weighing on me while trying to stay consistent with the podcast and advocacy work.I then compare what the law promises with what we actually lived through, including lack of proper disclosures before placements, failures in training and support, delayed or missing mileage reimbursement, weak investigations into false complaints, and minimal assistance when children were suddenly removed from our home. I share how these breakdowns contributed to burnout, resentment toward the agency, and the feeling of being unsupported despite the legal protections that are supposedly in place. I also touch on grievance procedures, the role of the Child Advocate, and the limitations of legal remedies under the law, while being honest about how exhausting and discouraging it feels to keep fighting for accountability. This episode reflects both an explanation of foster parent rights and a raw look at how difficult it is when those rights aren’t meaningfully enforced.00:00 — Intro, MCL 722.958a & Why It Matters01:00 — Updates: Baby Gone, Email to Governor, Grandfather’s Passing02:07 — What the Foster Parents Bill of Rights Covers03:36 — Dignity, Respect, Trust & Agency Failures06:52 — Civil Rights, Confidentiality & Written Evaluations09:09 — Required Training, Support & Respite11:03 — Lack of Grief & Family Loss Support13:08 — Financial Reimbursement, Mileage & Investigations17:01 — Placement Info Withheld & Emergency Removals24:11 — Grievance Process, Legal Remedies & Closing ThoughtsMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pPotential future guests: My friend who is a TherapistDr. Becky Owens with her book The Reset Method David Pisarra with Union of DadsIn this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I talk openly about the emotional weight of losing our toddler placement on Veterans Day and how that loss has forced us to seriously question whether we can continue fostering. After 14 months with him, saying goodbye with little warning and limited transition support was devastating—not just for us, but for him as well. I share my concerns about the sudden disruption to his therapy, daycare, and daily stability, and how emotionally draining it’s been to process yet another major loss after three years of fostering. I also give updates on future podcast plans, mental-health topics I want to explore, upcoming interviews, and the therapy work I’m beginning myself as I try to navigate this season in a healthy way.I also reflect on the accumulated trauma and burnout that has come from repeated crises—runaways, threats of violence, the injury of a pet, blackmail, and what often felt like a lack of meaningful support or protection from the agency. While there have been deeply rewarding moments, the repeated breakdowns in communication and accountability have left us feeling more like a “holding facility” than a respected part of the care team. I talk honestly about the financial, emotional, and mental toll this has taken, and the grief that now overshadows the joy we once felt. Although we still have one teen with us and remain committed to them, this episode reflects a raw moment of uncertainty, exhaustion, and heartbreak—balanced with gratitude for the support of our families, our community, and everyone who has walked this journey with us.00:00 — Intro: Baby Moved Out & Considering Quitting Fostering01:15 — Emotional Impact of the Toddler Leaving01:57 — Disclaimer & Podcast Purpose02:22 — Updates: Therapy, Book, & Upcoming Guest Interviews04:33 — Current Placement & LGBTQ Considerations05:27 — Reasons for Wanting to Stop Fostering08:23 — Burnout, Financial Strain & Agency Issues10:29 — Failures of Workers & Reporting to Officials14:28 — Emotional Toll & Fear for the Toddler’s Future15:32 — Listener Support, Resources & ClosingMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I go over a list of ten surprising things foster parents are not allowed to do, based on guidance from California and compared with my personal experience fostering in Michigan. I break down topics like not changing a child’s appearance without permission, not sharing their face or identity on social media, never using unapproved babysitters, and always getting proper authorization for medical decisions like vaccinations. I also explain why foster kids generally cannot be left home alone without proper supervision, why co-sleeping is discouraged due to safety and trauma concerns, and why foster parents cannot legally change a child’s name while the state remains the legal guardian. Throughout the episode, I stress the importance of getting everything in writing and always protecting yourself with documentation.I also discuss restrictions around travel, privacy, and safety, including the need for caseworker approval before traveling out of state or out of the country, the importance of never sharing foster children’s names or photos in public spaces or news media, and the responsibility to keep kids away from potentially dangerous activities. I touch on how things like sleepovers, sports, and other activities must always be cleared through the agency to ensure safety and compliance with state rules. While the list is broad, I explain how these limits exist to protect foster children’s identities, well-being, and future opportunities. I close by encouraging foster parents to always check directly with their caseworker when in doubt and to reach out with additional rules or experiences so future episodes can continue to build on this important topic.A helpful guide from Knotts Family Agency with an overview of important rules. Alter their appearance without permissionShare their faces on social mediaLeave them with unapproved babysittersRefuse to or vaccinate themLeave them at home without adult supervision (depending on age)Permit co-sleeping arrangementsChange their namesMove to a different state or travel overseasShare their names or photos in newspaper articlesAllow them to partake in dangerous activities00:00 — Intro & Episode Overview: 10 Things Foster Parents Can’t Do00:42 — #1 Changing Appearance Without Permission01:43 — #2 Sharing Faces on Social Media03:01 — #3 Leaving Them With Unapproved Babysitters03:45 — #4 Refusing or Giving Vaccines Without Permission04:54 — #5 Leaving Them Home Alone05:38 — #6 Co-Sleeping Arrangements06:34 — #7 Changing Their Name07:57 — #8 Moving or Traveling Out of State/Country08:55 — #9 Sharing Names & Photos in News or Media10:22 — #10 Dangerous Activities + Sleepover Rules & Wrap-UpMy Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)[email protected] Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I share my personal experience with home security systems and safety devices and why they’ve become essential for our household—especially while fostering. I talk about simple deterrents like security signs and fake cameras, as well as full systems like Ring, which I personally use for doorbells, cameras, floodlights, and window sensors. I explain why subscription-based recording has been invaluable for us, particularly during runaway situations, allowing us to provide police with exact images and clothing descriptions. I also touch on why monitored alarm systems weren’t the best fit for our busy home due to constant false alarms, and why customizable, self-monitored systems often work better in high-traffic foster homes.I also cover physical security tools we use, including Schlage keypad locks, wall safes for medications, and heavy-duty firearm safes to remain compliant with foster care safety standards. I discuss how these systems help protect everyone in the home—kids, adults, and visitors alike—and reduce daily stress by removing worries about keys, access, and unsecured hazards. Above all, I emphasize that no single system fits everyone, and foster parents should choose what works for their home, location, and lifestyle. Safety is not just about prevention—it’s about peace of mind, accountability, and being prepared for the unexpected.00:00 — New Intro & Episode OverviewMixing up the intro and introducing security systems.00:30 — Disclaimer & Placement UpdatesLegal disclaimer and current foster care uncertainties.01:32 — Deterrents: Signs & Fake CamerasLow-cost security options that still influence behavior.02:44 — Choosing a Real Camera SystemOverview of Ring and subscription vs. monitoring.03:38 — Why Recording Is Essential for RunawaysHow footage helps with police reports and safety.04:23 — Floodlights, Sensors & Add-On DevicesDifferent Ring accessories and lighting options.05:44 — Real-World Police Standoff ExperienceWhen law enforcement used your home as a staging point.06:25 — Smart Keypad Door Locks (Schlage)Benefits of coded locks for busy homes and fostering.08:02 — Medication Safes & Firearm StorageWall safes, firearm safes, and foster care safety rules.10:17 — Final Advice, Monitored Systems & Wrap-UpWhy non-monitored systems may be best for foster homes.My Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

1-855-MICHKIDS (642-4543)https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/adult-child-serv/foster-carehttps://mifostercare.michigan.gov/s/landing-pageFosterUSkidshttps://www.fosteruskids.org/usa/michigan#how-to-fosterCrisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)My Podcast Serverhttps://discord.gg/[email protected] this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I walk through what it actually takes to become a licensed foster parent in Michigan, breaking down both the official requirements and what the process looked like for us in real life. I explain the basic eligibility rules—including age, income, health, and willingness to work toward reunification—as well as the reality that fostering is far more about stability, time, and emotional capacity than it is about financial support. I also cover the five major steps in the process: connecting with a foster care navigator, attending orientation, completing the extensive application and fingerprinting process, finishing required training, and passing the home evaluation. From medical exams and background checks to insurance paperwork and references, I share how detailed and time-consuming the licensing process truly is and why it took us more than eight months to complete.I also explain what the home study and safety evaluation really involve—from reviewing your finances, health, parenting style, and support system to inspecting your home for safety hazards, locking up medications and chemicals, and ensuring kids have proper living space. I talk about the emotional side of fostering, including the reality of reunification, the heartbreak that can come with loving children who may not stay, and why adoption through foster care—while low cost financially—comes with a heavy emotional investment. I share how fostering has pushed me to grow through therapy, cultural awareness, and personal accountability, and why this journey is not something anyone should enter for money. I close by reminding listeners that while the process is demanding, the opportunity to give children safety, stability, and real life experiences is incredibly rewarding.00:12 — Introduction, Purpose & DisclaimerOverview of the episode and legal disclaimer.00:31 — Current Foster Care UpdatesStatus of current placements and adoption outlook.01:15 — Basic Foster Parent Eligibility RequirementsAge, family status, income, health, and cooperation with reunification.03:05 — Physical, Mental & Emotional FitnessHealth expectations and ability to safely care for children.04:37 — Timeline & Michigan Foster Care WebsitesEight-month licensing timeline and key state resources.05:30 — Step 1: Foster Care NavigatorCalling MiKids, choosing an agency, and using the agency checklist.06:41 — Step 2: Orientation & Reality of ReunificationOrientation, infant placements, and emotional realities.08:41 — Step 3: Application, Fingerprints & Medical RecordsReferences, paperwork, medical clearances, and background checks.11:11 — Step 4: Mandatory Training (20–25 Hours)Trauma-informed care, cultural responsiveness, and growth through training.13:27 — Step 5: Home Study & Safety EvaluationHome inspection, background history, safety rules, and chemical/weapon storage.My Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)My Discord Serverhttps://discord.gg/[email protected] this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I walk through the runaway procedures for foster children based on both Michigan CPS guidelines and our real-life experiences. I explain that running away is generally considered a status offense, not a criminal act, and that the first step when a child goes missing is immediately contacting the agency’s on-call worker or caseworker for guidance. From there, the typical response may involve mental health services, police notification, or temporary respite placement. I describe what happens once law enforcement is involved, including providing recent photos, clothing descriptions, and how doorbell and security cameras have been critical for documenting departures. I also explain differences in response depending on the child’s age—especially when the youth is over 18 but still in care—and how each case can unfold very differently.I then share three of our personal runaway cases, including the extreme chaos of dealing with repeated runaways, police involvement, National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reporting, and the emotional toll these situations took on our household. I talk about the stress, safety risks, threats, blackmail, and agency missteps that made these situations even harder, including being pressured to take children back into our home despite serious safety concerns. I emphasize how important it is for foster parents to document everything, know their legal rights, communicate immediately with the agency, and prioritize household safety. I also strongly recommend security systems, door alarms, and clear procedures to protect both the children and the foster family. I close by reminding listeners that every runaway case is different—but preparation, documentation, and knowing your rights can make all the difference.00:12 — Introduction, Disclaimer & New Placement UpdateEpisode purpose, legal disclaimer, and new 14-year-old placement.01:00 — Michigan FOM & Legal FrameworkOverview of CPS Field Operations Manual and runaway status laws.01:52 — First Step When a Child Runs AwayImmediate agency on-call contact and guidance.02:40 — Police Contact & Emergency OptionsWhen police, mental health, and respite care are used.03:53 — Police Reports & Evidence CollectionPhotos, clothing description, and doorbell/security footage.04:45 — Repeated Runaways & Safety Risks (18-Year-Old Case)Patterns of behavior and failed interventions.06:10 — Law Enforcement Escalation & False ThreatsHospitalization, police familiarity, and repeated incidents.07:01 — 14-Year-Old Runaway & Trafficking ConcernsFollowing the child, NCMEC report, and news involvement.09:12 — Threats, Violence & Agency DownplayingPhysical threats, CPS involvement, and placement failures.11:15 — Blackmail, CPS Reports & DocumentationText evidence, false allegations, and self-protection for foster parents.My Patreonhttps://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/[email protected] this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I share the story of our first foster placement, who I refer to as "L", a teen who struggled with chronic running away and extreme trauma. Her placement with us was unplanned and rushed, and we were given incomplete and changing information about her age, history, and circumstances. We later learned she had a long history of instability, adoption disruption, trauma bonding, and abusive relationships. Running became a repeated pattern—eventually happening nine times—despite clear rules and safety concerns. I explain how her refusal to engage in therapy, false threats of self-harm, and resistance to structure made it impossible for her to safely move toward her goals of joining the military or law enforcement. Throughout it all, we tried to provide support, consistency, and resources, even as the situation became increasingly unsafe and emotionally exhausting.I also open up about how her time with us overlapped with one of the hardest personal losses of my life—having to put down my dog Perseus, my companion of 11 years—after his health rapidly declined. I explain how her repeated disregard for safety accelerated his condition, and how her final runaway happened the very day I lost him. After multiple incidents and escalating risk, we made the painful decision to end the placement for safety reasons. She later entered independent living but was removed for refusing school and work, lost her benefits, and has since struggled with homelessness, legal trouble, and an unplanned pregnancy. I reflect on the heartbreak of watching someone spiral despite every effort to help, and I stress the importance of foster parents knowing their legal rights, especially regarding household safety. I close by encouraging listeners to reach out with questions, experiences, or resource needs—because no foster parent should have to navigate situations like this alone.00:12 — Introduction & DisclaimerEpisode purpose and professional disclaimer.01:00 — Emergency Placement & Age ConfusionUnplanned placement and last-minute age/legal housing issues.02:01 — Elle’s Past Trauma & Adoption HistoryAdoption, pregnancy, forced abortion, and return to care.03:00 — Chronic Runaways BeginMultiple runaway incidents and police involvement.03:59 — Dog Perseus & Medical DeclineBond with Perseus, injury, and difficult euthanasia decision.05:52 — Military & Police Aspirations vs. RealityGoals vs. refusal to follow requirements; false self-harm claims.06:28 — Therapy Refusal & Mental Health ConcernsResistance to treatment despite severe trauma.08:24 — Biological Family RejectionFather and sister placements fail.10:33 — Independent Living & Program FailureStipend loss, refusal of work/school, removal from placement.11:29 — After Placement: Court, Pregnancy & HomelessnessDomestic incident, pregnancy, incarceration, and safety warnings.https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/[email protected] this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I walk through how to volunteer with the Michigan Foster Care Review Board (FCRB) and why this role is so important for children in the foster care system. I explain where to apply through Michigan’s One Court of Justice website, what basic information is required on the application, and what the board looks for in potential volunteers. I break down the key sections of the application, including personal background, education, experience with child welfare, community involvement, advocacy efforts, availability, personal motivation for serving, and required references. I also touch on the current need for more men and minorities to join the board to help create broader representation. I highlight that training is provided at no cost, travel expenses are reimbursed, and board members receive both initial and ongoing annual training.I also explain what Foster Care Review Board members actually do, including meeting one full weekday each month to review foster care cases, interviewing parents, foster parents, caseworkers, attorneys, and other involved parties, and issuing written recommendations to the court and child welfare agencies. The ultimate purpose of the board, as I share, is to make sure children are moving toward safe and timely permanency, whether that is reunification, guardianship, adoption, or another permanent solution. I close by encouraging anyone with interest or experience in foster care to consider volunteering, because these reviews truly impact real children’s lives. As always, I invite listeners to reach out to share their experiences and help strengthen the foster care community through knowledge, advocacy, and service.00:12 — Episode Introduction & PurposeWhy this episode was created and the importance of volunteering.00:39 — Legal DisclaimerProfessional and legal responsibility notice.01:00 — How to Apply to VolunteerWhere to apply and official contact methods.01:44 — Application Overview & Governing LawWhat the application includes and legal authority (MCL).02:12 — Personal & Education Background RequiredBasic personal info, education, and experience sections.02:36 — Criminal History & Community InvolvementFelony disclosure and civic participation.03:45 — Time Commitment & Monthly AvailabilityBoard meeting schedule and appeal responsibilities.04:08 — References & Final AgreementReference requirements and service expectations.05:08 — Training, Travel & ReimbursementMandatory training and cost coverage.05:54 — Board Duties & Case Review ResponsibilitiesMonthly reviews, interviews, and advisory recommendations.https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/[email protected] this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I explain what a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) and a Lawyer Guardian ad Litem (LGAL) are, how they differ, and how each one functions within the foster care system here in Michigan. I break down how a GAL works on behalf of the court, while a Lawyer Guardian ad Litem works directly on behalf of the child and must be a licensed attorney. I go over how L-GALs are required to conduct independent investigations, interview children and caregivers, review reports, attend hearings, and advocate for the child’s best interests while also communicating the child’s wishes when they are old enough. I also discuss the required training, oversight, and the possibility of filing complaints if legal obligations are not being met.I then share our personal experiences and frustrations working with Lawyer Guardians ad Litem in our own foster care cases, including being reported for minor household issues without discussion, being falsely accused of unauthorized disclosures, and being blamed for delays that were actually caused by agency inaction. I walk through the dental anesthesia situation that was misrepresented and how those claims were never properly investigated. Ultimately, I express how difficult it has been to feel trusted or supported as non-blood foster parents, despite consistently showing up for these children when they needed us most. I close by explaining why understanding the role and accountability of the Guardian ad Litem is so important for foster parents, and how knowing your rights can help protect both you and the children in your care.00:12 — Introduction & Legal DisclaimerEpisode purpose and professional disclaimer.00:56 — Podcast Format & Audio/Video ChangesSwitching away from face video and production updates.01:47 — Guardian ad Litem vs. Lawyer Guardian ad LitemKey differences and official definitions.02:48 — Duties to the Court vs. Duties to the ChildHow GAL and LGAL responsibilities differ.03:49 — Child’s Legal Rights & Best Interest AdvocacyAttorney-client relationship and child representation.05:43 — Training Requirements & OversightMandatory training and possible sanctions.07:35 — Independent Investigations ExplainedHow LGAL gathers information beyond agency reports.09:24 — Foster Parent Experiences with LGALCommunication issues and real-world frustrations.11:36 — False Reports & Medical Appointment AccusationsDental visit conflict and agency failures.14:13 — Personal Impact, Advocacy & Closing ThoughtsConcerns about discrimination, reunification bias, and final reflections.https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/[email protected] this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I break down what the Foster Care Review Board (FCRB) is, how it works in Michigan, and why it exists to protect children in the foster care system. I explain that the Review Board is made up of trained citizen volunteers who review foster care cases to help ensure children reach safe and timely permanency. I walk through how cases are selected—either randomly or by request—and how their findings and recommendations are sent to the courts, DHHS, agencies, and all parties involved. I also cover who is allowed to request a review, including foster parents, attorneys, therapists, tribes, and even youth over the age of 11, which I found especially important because it gives kids a voice in their own cases. I also go over how foster parents can appeal a proposed placement move within strict timelines and what circumstances make a case ineligible for appeal.I then share how this process connects to our own current situation, where one of our foster children was moved out of state before our Review Board hearing even took place. I talk honestly about my concerns since the move—how virtual visits have changed his behavior, how quiet and withdrawn he now seems, and how deeply troubling that is for me to see. I explain how the siblings were separated despite the emotional toll, and how virtual visits can never replace real connection, especially for young children. I close by sharing why I am still waiting for answers from the Review Board, why this situation feels so wrong, and how desperate I am to make sure this child is safe and emotionally supported. As always, I remind listeners that this podcast exists to share real experiences, protect kids, and give foster parents and families information they may not otherwise receive.00:00 — Introduction & Legal DisclaimerEpisode overview and purpose of discussing the Foster Care Review Board.01:12 — Personal Update & Wife’s RoleClarifying Kasey’s role and family responsibilities.02:02 — What the Foster Care Review Board IsMichigan law, volunteer-based system, and oversight purpose.03:29 — How the Review Board WorksCase reviews, recommendations, and who receives findings.04:55 — Annual Reports & Policy InfluenceHow reports impact state funding and foster care laws.06:14 — Who Can Request a ReviewJudges, agencies, foster parents, attorneys, therapists, and youth 11+.08:56 — Foster Parent Appeals for Placement ChangesYour right to appeal a child’s move and the 3-day deadline.11:29 — When Appeals Are Not AllowedCourt-ordered moves, tribal cases, and MCI situations.16:15 — How to File an Appeal & What to ExpectContact methods, documentation, hearings, and participation.19:00 — Personal Case Update & Sibling Separation ImpactChild moved before review, virtual visits, and emotional effects.https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

I apologize about the delay. Attempting to remove breathing sounds from the audio as I want this to be as enjoyable and informative as possible. Thank you for your patience.I have a pop filter and sound barriers for around the mic coming. Will also be rearranging my room to allow for more sound barriers.

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I share the ongoing and deeply frustrating experience surrounding our fifth placement—two brothers under the age of ten—and the events that ultimately led to their separation. I walk through how we received the placement late at night with almost no preparation, how one child arrived from the ER with nothing but a hospital gown, and how the toddler joined us later after hospital care. We scrambled to secure clothes, supplies, toys, medical appointments, and developmental resources, relying heavily on donations from friends and family. I explain how delays in services, inconsistent agency support, and constant turnover in workers created enormous strain, even as the local school stepped up in incredible ways to support the older child’s education. I also describe rising tension with the guardian ad litem and agency, including a formal complaint filed against us for “clutter” while we were actively receiving daily shipments for two children who arrived with nothing—an accusation that took over 45 days to resolve without any direct communication to us.I also detail the troubling visitation issues with family members, including a week-long out-of-state visit for the toddler, unsafe supervision concerns, and repeated broken promises made to the older child that caused significant emotional harm. I explain how we consistently documented everything through texts and emails, yet our concerns were ignored while false claims against us were quickly accepted without investigation. Ultimately, despite the boys being with us for nearly a year, the agency moved one child out of state with just 14 days’ notice, separating the siblings and triggering our request for a Foster Care Review Board. I share why we asked to be considered for adoption—not to block reunification, but to protect the child from being re-entered into another state’s foster system if the family placement fails. I close by thanking my family for their unwavering support, sharing the emotional toll this process has taken, and preparing listeners for upcoming updates following the review board hearing.00:00 — Introduction & Episode OverviewFifth placement, current situation, and active case disclaimer.00:44 — Podcast Updates & Future InterviewsSingle-topic format, therapist guest, and Dr. Becky Owens / Reset Method.02:41 — Release Schedule & Ongoing Foster CallsWeekly episodes, possible midweek updates, and new placement inquiries.03:43 — Introducing the Brothers (Placement #5)Who they are, age range, and importance of documentation.05:37 — Emergency Placement & Hospital IntakeLate-night call, ER pickup, no belongings, and initial chaos.08:22 — Medical Needs & Developmental DelaysHospital visits, therapy toys, Amazon ordering, and early interventions.09:43 — Guardian ad Litem Complaint & Clutter ReportReported for home conditions despite active caregiving efforts.11:55 — School Support & Agency FailuresEducation progress, missed services, and vaccination authorization issues.14:02 — Family Visits, Safety Concerns & Hotel IncidentOut-of-state visits, co-sleeping, unsupervised hotel room, and no agency response.18:49 — Rights Termination, Interstate Move & Review BoardSudden transfer notice, broken promises, discrimination concerns, and next steps.

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I open up about my personal background, my experience as a foster parent, and why I’m so deeply invested in speaking out about the foster care system. I talk about the current situation involving the separation of two siblings and how painful and damaging that can be, drawing from my own experiences with long separations during military deployments. I also share my growing frustration with the agency, the guardian ad litem, and the lack of meaningful help from legal and state resources despite repeated outreach. Alongside that, I give listeners a deeper look into who I am—my upbringing as the oldest of many siblings, growing up with limited resources, my time in the Army with two deployments, my work in corrections, and how those experiences shaped my views on family, separation, stress, and resilience.I also walk through our foster care journey so far, including the seven placements we’ve had over the past two and a half years, the wide range of ages, the different case goals like reunification, adoption, and independent living, and the many challenges we’ve faced—runaways, false allegations, inadequate training, unpaid mileage, overreaching families, technology issues, and children arriving without even the most basic life skills. Despite all of that, I share the moments that have made everything worth it, especially watching two young children grow, heal, and thrive after coming into our home. I close by talking about my hopes for the podcast: to document cases, share real experiences, bring professionals into the conversation, fight stigma around therapy, gather resources, and create a place where foster parents, foster kids, and advocates no longer feel alone in a system that often feels impossible to navigate.00:00 — Introduction & Episode FocusWhy this episode is personal and difficult to talk about.00:22 — Disclaimer & Podcast Format ChangesClarifying intent, legal disclaimers, and adjusting the show’s structure.02:05 — Current Foster Case & Sibling SeparationYoungest foster kids separated across states and emotional impact.03:23 — Guardian ad Litem & Agency ConflictsConcerns about advocacy failures and formal complaints.05:38 — Case Manager IssuesEarly mistakes and lack of understanding of foster care rules.06:00 — My Background & Military ExperienceFamily upbringing, deployments, and understanding separation.08:13 — Addiction, Education & Corrections WorkHistory with alcohol, prison work, and burnout.09:57 — Why We Became Foster ParentsFamily addiction, emergency preparedness, and support system.10:46 — Placement History & System FailuresSeven placements, miles unpaid, training failures, hostile situations.14:45 — Successes, Growth & Future PlansKids’ progress, therapy advocacy, future guests, and listener outreach.

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Helpline 1-800-662-4357Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4pIn this first episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I introduce myself, explain why I started this podcast, and share my deep frustration with the foster care system after more than two and a half years as a foster parent. I talk about how, during that time, I’ve watched the system repeatedly fail both the children in our care and us as foster parents. I explain that this podcast is my attempt to speak up, make noise, gather stories, and help push for change—whether through awareness, shared resources, or connecting people who feel alone inside the system. I also share my efforts to reach out to Michigan politicians for help, what responses I’ve received so far, and how exhausting and turbulent this experience has been. My goal is to use this platform to educate, advocate, and support foster parents, foster kids, and professionals involved in the system.I also lay out what listeners can expect from the podcast: real stories from my own fostering journey, future stories from other foster parents and foster youth, discussions about rights, resources, therapy, agency policies, and current foster-care related events. I make it clear that I will never share identifying information about the kids in my care and that any emotional struggle I share comes from my own unresolved trauma and search for better therapy—not from anger toward the children. I encourage foster parents and foster kids to use their voices, stand up for their rights respectfully, and not allow themselves to be taken advantage of. Above all, I want this podcast to be a safe, honest space for support, advocacy, and healing—one where people are reminded to protect their mental health, keep pushing for answers, and know they are not alone.00:00 — Introduction & Podcast PurposeWho I am, what the podcast is about, and how this episode will work.00:25 — Low-Budget Setup & Future ImprovementsWhy the show is simple for now and how I hope to improve production later.00:45 — Why I Started This PodcastMy frustrations with the foster system and the need for change.01:18 — Reaching Out to PoliticiansWho I contacted, who responded, and who didn’t.02:14 — What the Foster Dad Directive Will CoverWeekly topics: placements, agency issues, policies, and lived experience.03:04 — Resources, Support & Foster Youth RightsHelping parents and kids find what they’re entitled to.03:45 — Therapy, Boundaries & What I Won’t ShareProtecting kids’ privacy and my experiences with poor therapists.05:13 — What You Won’t Hear on This PodcastNo politics, no ads for profit, no obnoxious mic sounds.06:06 — Advocating for Foster Kids & ParentsUsing your voice, knowing your rights, and being respectful but persistent.09:08 — Listener Engagement & Final MessageInviting feedback, sharing resources, and prioritizing mental health.