Hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode. Jesse and Wilders, Guide to Life. I'm Jesse, that's Wilder, and this is our show. Jesse and Wilders, Guide to Life.
It does seem like you're making it longer on purpose. I just got bored, bro, it's so boring. So the way to make it less boring is to say it longer? I'm gonna just spice it up, is all?
Let's hear you spice it up. Oh, you wanna hear me big spice, you want me to go big on it? Yeah, bro, are you baby spice or are you posh spice? Well, everybody knows I'm sporty spice, so first of all, check yourself.
Give me big spice, please. Hello, gentlemen, what good arms are Jesse Wilders, God, to life, I'm Jesse, that's Wilder, I'm here to God, you're life. Damn, bro, how quickly would you turn off a podcast if that's the first episode you listened to and started with that? My fucking levels, bro, are through the room.
Oh yeah, you disrespected my audio process for a change. No, bro, you told me to go big, I don't know what to tell you. It's fine, I asked for it. Welcome to this podcast.
Yeah, I can't, I hope that you cut that part where I screamed under the microphone. Not a chance. Okay, so sorry, everyone, apologies all around. And speaking of apologies, today's episode, we're talking about things you probably have to apologize for to someone at some point.
Today's episode. Oh baby, why don't you tell them what we mean by that? Cause I'm still not entirely certain. Okay, I mean, I think there's the literal sins, right?
Like a murder is a sin. We're doing the seven deadly sins. Okay, my first suggestion actually was gonna be that every category is one of the seven deadly's. And then a bonus, Jabu, special Jabu sin.
That's pretty good actually. Okay, good, so I'm gonna go down the line. Let me see, I know, this is not the first time we've done this, right? We've tried to name them.
I believe we did it in sources of power. Do you wanna try and name them again? We've already done this bit. I know the one that I specialize in, Blutany, baby.
Adultery? Wrong, I believe that's lust, muchachio. Okay, sure. When you covet, what's the?
Greed? Greed. Yeah, so close, the sin is not covet, but yeah. Covet by neighbors wife, bro, you mustn't.
How about murder? I don't know. More general than that, violence? I think that's wrath.
Wrath. Think about the movie, come on, think about the movie, the hit movie seven. There's like one of the more memorable portions of that flick, you know? Oh yeah, the biggest sin.
Kevin Spacey is a real person. Okay, well yeah, that's a couple of them, at least. Bro, I haven't seen seven in so long. Fill them out for me, what else we got?
So big one in seven is when they go in on that great, big fat person and they force him to eat. That's gluttony. Oh, that's gluttony, you're right. Son of a bitch.
I was gonna say, so that was sloth, but you're right. We'll sloth the one I'll always forget, where it is stupid. Envy? We're not gonna have a ton of say about envy, and then pride.
We're gonna see how this plays. And maybe we'll just kiss us. Okay, I do like where that could take us, and then we doing special job boosins. Yeah, obviously the only sins I could think of are fucking consumables, but I would say like a big purchase is a sin, so I guess that's gonna be great.
And I do love a big purchase, but is it a two because sometimes you regret the big purchase? Yeah, I guess. I'm gonna splurge, just splurge, right? It's like, oh yeah, oh I'm gonna.
Oh, splurge also the word splurge. Horrible, we gotta scrap it and find a new. Sound less like they just fucking jizzed all over somebody? Yeah, big jizz energy from the word splurge.
How much is splurge on this new couch, baby? Ew! Yuck. The word splurge is a wall.
That was my favorite soda in the 90s though. Okay, great. Well, bits over now, thanks. The word splurge is bad, a big perch, yeah.
I think a big perch is a two. I think getting extra nasty in like first class, like you said, with extra socks, that could be some sin. Yeah, that also seems like greed, huh? First class to me is very quite late, right?
But yeah, I don't think you have the buyer's remorse. You know exactly, no one is sitting in first class like, I'm gonna show you a dumb move. You're probably like fuck, I'm never going back. Yeah, that's the only bad thing about that one is the seller's remorse, that's not it.
Okay, we got some nasty categories. I don't know what to do. Yeah, they are, bro. Lust, I don't think we should do.
Oh, you wanna back out of it entirely? What is it? Like who are we, you know what I mean? I don't know, how do we go about this without judging people?
Well, I have a good one, we could just lay down here. Very quite late, consensual lust of all kinds, right? Oh sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And really, at that point, then we could leave this category basically alone unless we think of anything else.
Yeah, that's great, that's great how it is, perfect. Yeah, love who you want in the ways that you want as long as they want it to, baby. That's the job you promise. Yeah, get your nasty shit all over each other's nasty shit.
Yeah, gluttony, I feel like, is gonna be where we make a lot of our money here. What are we talking about, gluttony-wise? Okay, the first thing that comes to my mind is always the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word sin and it's cinnabon, baby. And it's not like a pun because it sounds like it, but this is what I am talking about with sin.
This is something that by all accounts, you should not put into your body. I think that a key with sin is that something you shouldn't do, but when you do, damn, it feels good. Right, so is cinnabon a three to you? It is.
Yeah, okay, I agree. It's the absolute pinnacle of sin. And honestly, it's a lot of cinnamon things because I also wanna put out Domino's cinnamon sticks with that icing. So it is getting into pun territory.
Yeah, it is gonna be a lot of cinnamon shit. Cinnamon rolls, cinnamon sticks, but I feel like cinnamon stuff is often served incredibly unhelpfully. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Because icing is a key in this, just icing.
Oh my God, that's sin. Yeah, I'll give you icing. I'm gonna give you a two for very pretty good and it's fast food. Yeah, okay, but I mean cinnabon is technically fast food, but you know, like, I'm talking about, like, you don't normally indulge, but like, you know what I'm feeling frisky, I'm gonna get Taco Bell.
Also, the cinnamon sticks from Taco Bell. Okay, that's an, I'm cutting you off. I think that sometimes though, you get a Jack in the Box or a Wendy's who have left all fucks at the door. Right.
And they do like some sort of insanity fast food move, which is not just your average like, ooh, I'm gonna get a double double. It's like, for example, Wendy's right now got this and you know I had it. The fucking, let me just read the description for this because for some sin, I, I proper to you Wendy's new spicy jalapeno popper sandwich. Juicy marina chicken breast, breaded in our unique fiery blend of peppers and spices made even spicier with.
You guessed it, holla, pino cream cheese, baby. You got a pepper jack cheese and of course, more jalapenos. Then there's some applewood smoked bacon and some cheddar cheese sauce. Yeah, good.
You hit me for a couple loops there. Didn't expect cheddar cheese to be finished with sauce. And I did expect the jalapeno cream cheese to be like a jalapeno creamy aioli. I prefer the cream cheese.
No baby, it is jalapeno cream cheese, but let me tell you, I ate this shit and it is not cream cheese. It is jalapeno cream cheese sauce. Oh, that's a nightmare. It's just a soppy, messy, fucking tin foil full of sin.
Okay. I'm gonna say it is for sure the best that I've had from Wendy's. I mean, that's a low bar. I'm gonna say standard fast food is a two big nasty fast food.
Like a- That's like specifically reserved for Taco Bell, Jack in the Box and Wendy's. They just go above and beyond. Like, oh, brother, case of Reno. Maybe the definition of a very quite lit sin.
Yeah. Case of Reno, burrito, rapid, and quesadilla. It's the best thing that they make. Let me hit you with, and I don't know where this goes or if it goes anywhere, but I do have a very good story.
Oh, a story. I was celebrating Mother's Day with my mother this weekend. And my little brother told this story that he was asleep. And it was like, I don't know, nine.
He got calling it a nap. Got teenagers or stupid. And he was like, and mom had like drank a bottle of wine and she comes and wakes me up at like nine and demands that I drive her to Sonic because she saw a commercial. Whoa.
The fucking cheesecake blizzard somebody that Sonic has. And she was like, I need that. Is your mother? Yes, my mom woke up my little brother at 9 p.m.
My mom is usually in bed by eight, by the way. Woke him up at nine, said drive me to Sonic. The closest Sonic fam to the Bay Area, not close. Is it the one at Gilroy?
It's an American Canyon. It's like an hour and a half away. You're not. Oh my god.
I did not know your mom was a big Sonic the Hedgehog. I don't think she is. I think that she got it. I need to know what she got.
What? It was the second hurt. They have a, OK, I look it up. It's the strawberry cheesecake ice cream drink.
So it's like strawberry cheesecake. That's what I like to call sin. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
That's a big time. Speaking of sin, I have committed incredible sin. I once had to write for the internet. I had to rank every fucking cheesecake factory cheesecake in a single sitting.
Yeah, cheesecake factory cheesecake. I'll run to me. 35 different cheesecakes in an hour. Yeah.
Cheesecake factory cheesecake, getting a big one. Fine. Do it. Boy, I got some hate.
Male after that one. Which is so wild to me that people are like. I also did give number one spot to like the classic cheesecake. Oh, yeah.
You are an idiot. But that's him. I like the Oreo one. It sucked.
Hey, I love an Oreo thing. Cheesecake factory. Maybe do it better. Oh, boy.
This guy asking for more hate mail. Like, that's he didn't get enough. I think I think desserts kind of thrive here. I don't know what besides like big nasty fast food special.
That's not a dessert. I'm talking death by chocolate shit. Triple chocolate. Yes.
I think chocolate is a sin. Chocolate is definitely a sin. It's a two for me though. It doesn't mean personally because it's too fucking rich for me.
It's too decadent. I'll get chocolate fatigues so fucking fast. I would never have a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting chocolate spring. That's too much goddamn chocolate.
Too much sin for baby wobbly. I've told you I am not a chocolate daddy. OK, I want to just say desserts, but I want to split it into two. Desserts is a two to me.
And when I say desserts, what I mean is maybe on your way home from work, you pick up a little pint of ice cream and then you have some ice cream for dessert. That's nice. Or maybe that's not a whole pint of ice cream. Yeah, I mean, I would say a whole pint of ice cream.
Yeah, it is a fairly fucking sinful. But I'll tell you what kind of sin I like. That is a three to me is ordering dessert at a restaurant is. Oh, it's divine.
And sometimes you ever just get it in your fucking crawl that you're going to order it. You haven't seen the menu yet. You're like, it's a dessert. It's one of them nights, baby.
I don't know what they got. I don't give a fuck what they got. I love, oh, you know what I love for a sinful fucking dessert? Is something that has maybe one healthy word in there?
So it kind of acts like it's not your name. Oh, sure. Gluttony sin. Uh-huh.
This one restaurant in LA called Bovell, they do this dessert. I don't know if they do anymore. But it was a chocolate rose donut. And they're like little fried.
They're not even like holes in the middle. They're just round donuts. And you see the word rose in there, and you're like, this thing is sin. And then you smell them and eat them.
You know you don't commit it a sin. Damn, baby. Can we play donuts as a three? How about a crispy cream, bro?
Eating a whole fucking dozen crispy creams, which we have on many occasion. Well, you know what I love? A little bit of a big fan's. A flight?
A flight? As they call them? Yeah, a flight. A crispy cream flight.
A hot and fresh out the oven. Yeah. And by oven, I mean fryer. I will absolutely soak a pair of trousers at a crispy cream.
You know, creams got smaller. OK. I don't think that I'm wrong about this. I recently indulged in some sin.
They definitely seemed smaller to me. Maybe it's the Asheville, though. Maybe it's the North Carolina creams. You think they're doing them smaller in Carolina?
Carrying at creams is the name of my next album. Yeah, that's a great one or a bad one. You ready for this very quite lit, Blutney? Go on.
Chicken bake, bro. Oh, yeah. For those not in the no Costco Costco makes it little treat called chicken bake. It's a little treat inside of a hockey stick.
It's not a hockey stick. It's like a full-ass loaf of bread with what Oscea Guego on the outside. On the inside, we got chicken. We got Parmesan cheese.
We got green onions. We got Caesar dressing and bacon. Bacon. Bacon.
It's over to bacon. Unreal. Caesar dressing, bro. It's so good.
Gang. If you never had one, figure you're fucking shit out. Yeah. They're so good.
And also, Caesar dressing almost. Caesar dressing might be a bonus point. That shit is a little bit sinful. If you're putting it on anything other than a Caesar salad, you're a nightmare.
Dang, bro. I got to sin for you. Why don't you tell the gang about the old baked zedee situation? Oh, shout the fuck out to.
I think it's called Papa Raze. Almost certainly closed down in San Francisco in the Excelsior down by the Cal Palace where all the real ones are. And they served this fucking hellscape that I obviously ordered. And it was a baked zedee, as Wilder said.
It served in a fucking bread bowl. But also, it wasn't just a standard bread bowl. It was like a garlic bread bowl. The inside and the rim were seasoned like a fucking fatzo margarita, like a salted rim on a glass.
But a bunch of fucking seasonings, like the seasoned crust at a little Caesar's. Hell on earth. Good as hell. So it's a lot of like fried and unhealthy food and dessert.
But here's a food that, I mean, it's not always that good for you. But I think it counts as sin is a big. You're not going to be on board with this, but a big fucking steak. You know what I mean?
A fucking, I mean, you are literally eating animals, eating animals at all, I would say, as a sin. I mean, does that count as like splurge, though? Also because of the big steak I was going to cry. I just like a guy aged some fucking shit that, or something that's going to be like, you say you want to steak bloody?
That's sin. OK. Can I generalize this a little bit and lump it in with high class meats? Yeah, agree.
Oh, high class meats. You ever get freaky with some fucking like, oh, you've got some money on some like, Hamonee Berica or some shit? Oh my god. Or even this is not even like, I guess not high class, but exotic meats too.
Like you've got to Rosa Monday and say, I've just got a sausage place. And it's like, you go in there and they're like, oh, yeah, this one's a, you know, we got chicken. We got real. Oh, this one's rattlesnake.
This one's rabbit. I feel like every fast food or every sausage place now has a rattlesnake rabbit sausage. Yeah. That shit is, but they're fucking good.
Yeah, it's fine by me. I'm like, you and I had a horse tartar. OK, so I'm going to say high class slash exotic meats, because that hits both of those notes. What's some bad gluttony sin?
Because we're just naming fasts of things that we like. Right. OK, so I have one that's either a two or one. Or a little Lego fucking, or your Lego Jesus Christ, or Eggo peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the list.
Yeah, OK. I mean, it should be a three, but I'll give it a one. It's a three in my heart. I have either a one or a two.
Where do you put a buffet? Are you a buffet guy? Bro, you know I'm a buffet guy. Yeah, I just think it's a two.
I'll give you, I mean, my fave buffet, which is like they're clinging on for dear life. Everybody go support your local sizzler. They're all franchise. They might as well be small businesses.
Every sizzler is franchised? I think most of them are franchised. Or there's a ton that were. And since they went bankrupt, the ones that were not franchise are done.
OK. Anyways. Support your fucking sizzlers babies. Get that unlimited salad bar.
Take those taco shells. Stick some spaghetti and meatballs into them. God, yuck. I love club sizz.
That could be a two. Yeah, it's got to be a choice. I mean, the deal is that if you go to certain places, there are just legitimately, like there's this place in the cosmopolitan in Vegas called the Wicked Spoon. And they have fucking like very, very good food.
It's like $90 to just to get into the buffet. But then you get there and there's lobster and fucking like fat cuts of prime ribbons shit. That's my new for sure. I think there's a one for gluttony is surf and turf.
Oh, yeah, sure. I think surf and turf. We talk about how it's idiotic. I mean, it's not like I don't think it tastes good.
I like both of those things, but it's stupid. I have gone into Pinterest and typed in sinful food. And wow. What do you got there?
Punch and nasty shit I bet? Yeah, apple pie pancakes. Browny territory, you get into some sin for sure. It's a lot of certain we talked about this.
I have one for greed. I'd like to move out of foods for a second. These two fatzos just slobbering all over the mics. I would love to get into a different category.
Obviously, this one is near and dear to my heart. But gambling, bro. Where do we play gambling? I mean, I guess it's like literally a sin.
It's a big hole too. I do it illegally. So it's certainly simple in the eyes of the law. And then can we put, OK, greed is an easy one for a bunch of very not quite lids, right?
Because finance people, right? Those people who like that's their little one percent. Yeah, do the one percent. They're full of sin.
And that's the worst type of sin. This is the one man. This is the one time that we'll do this. The only time when rich people are not rich.
Rich get yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Rich people. Sorry. Yeah.
Being rich, obviously very quite late. But as a via sin, no thank you. You done wrong. This might be gluttony, I guess.
It's not food. But as inspired by a couple episodes ago, I would say being addicted to a reality television show is a little bit of a sin. That might be sloth. Yeah.
Two weeks ago, we talked and McGrath kept saying the circle. And I was like, I don't know what that is. But two now, I have thought about nothing else but the circle for an entire week. I watched the entire first season.
I'm almost done with the second season. I have been straight up screaming at my TV. It is the most entertaining television I've ever seen. I highly recommend it.
He's been texting me about it nonstop and I haven't said I watch a single second of it. Oh damn, it's so good. That's sloth for sure. First slop being a digital reality TV show.
It's got to be a two, right? It sounds like a one honestly. I think it's a one. It's definitely a one.
Yeah. Here's what for pride. How about thinking that you can win a reality show? Because in my brain, I'm like, I think I can win this circle.
I'm pretty sure I can win. What a fucking one. Damn dude. Can I reach you a little cut from the 7 Deadly Sins Wikipedia page?
A mini wiki piece? Yes, slice it. Pride is considered almost every list. Which first of all, what list?
On almost every list. The original and most serious of the Deadly Sins. Oh, I would disagree with that by a lot. Seems like wrath maybe?
For sure seems like wrath. Okay, where do we put where and how do we put Drew Gossen alcohol? That's gluttony. And their twos.
Yeah. Okay, that's what I was thinking. Hey, bro. Is treasure hunting a sin?
No. Is it? Because it is greed. You are hunting for treasure to make money.
Huh. Is it sinful to be like a gentleman rogue treasure hunter? A gentleman rogue treasure. Is this like a version of yourself?
You imagine? A version. It's the only version. That's how I would best describe myself.
A gentleman rogue treasure hunter. I guess it is. I don't see how it is sinful. If you find one I'd really treasure, it's not a sin, right?
Because it's a dead man's treasure. Or are you saying it's sinful to loot the dead man's chest? Yeah, I think it's one I really deserved all that rich stuff. Okay.
A gentleman rogue. Treasure hunter. Yeah, bro. And then you can put it in parentheses just like, you know, what Waboo is.
I won't do that. But that's cool. It's the only episode for me, but especially here. I know.
It's the most important one. Well, I have a, I have a, I have a think a, fuck. I can't tell if this goes in a pride or greed. I feel like collecting things is a little sinful.
Like fucking sneakers or like, oh, sneaker heads. Fuck me. That's a one in Gla in Greed. Right.
But is that Gla, is it greed or is it pride? Right. Put them in both, I guess. Oh, bro.
Biscuits and gravy. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a three for me, but. Yeah, it's absolutely a three for me.
Oh, maybe this is sort of a way to eat food. How about taking just a straight fucking spoonful of peanut butter to dome? It's, that's, it's almost a one to me, but I'll give it a two. And like squeezing like fucking Hershey's syrup and whipped cream in your mouth and cheese with that shit.
Yeah. That's a two for me. I would put it a one, but. Oh, you would put it a one.
Okay. I don't need to squirt shit in my mouth. Okay. I'm a little shitty about who I was afterwards.
Oh, bro. Oh, bro. Let me, let me give you a scenario. It's three a.m.
You got home from the bar, but don't peckish. Oh, look, I got some bags. I got some bags up on top of the fridge and they get one of the toasted up cream cheese on it and you eat that bagel and that's, that's all fine. That's a drug snack.
And then you go, hey, wait a minute, there is a little bit of cream cheese in that tub. Oh, look around. I don't see anyone looking at me. Okay.
Let me stick my finger into this cream cheese and just get after it. Oh, man. Uh, yeah. Cream cheese, brother.
It's so fucking good. If it wouldn't kill me, I would eat a tub of it for lunch. This is a greater premise though than just cream cheese, right? We go in my shopping.
Pick it up, licking your plate. Clean it up, right? You have to do like salad dressing. Okay, no, bro.
I'm not in the bottle. I'm in the bottle, but I mean, like if you have a day gas salad, you finish it and there's a little bit left in the bowl. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah.
I wish you would have said drinking, because you popped the top and you longed it up. A hard day's work. You crack the top off that Caesar dressing, just taking straight to the head. Yeah.
You know what else is pretty sinful? You see, I see like a lot of like, there can be some food mashups, right? Like, for example, there's like, oh, this is a Philly cheesesteak dumpling. Mm-hmm.
That type of shit. Mm-hmm. Is that, you're saying that's sin? I don't know if that's sin.
A Philly cheesesteak dumpling? Yeah, it sounds sinful when you, oh man. I think a big stretch of cheese is generally accompanied by sin. A Philly cheesesteak is just a.
I'm fucking hooked on this dumpling place in San Francisco right now. Shout out to United Dumplings, which is a horrible name. And one of the things they have is a fucking Mexican street corn pot sticker. Ooh, yeah.
Bait! That's so good. Oh, dirty dogs, bro, on the street. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm so glad that you covered it in the mail. Anything with your face is covered in the leftovers. Is this a sin? Yeah.
You ever have the leftover tortilla chips and just a little bit of salsa left? So you just sprinkle that, those tortilla chips dust into the leftover salsa container and just eat with spoon. You just gotta get out of your soup. You just made it.
We gotta get out of food, dude. We're just on your food. It is sinful, bro. It's, it's, think about Panera's broccoli shed.
I know. A creamy soup. So bad for you. A chowder, a chowder or a cream of.
That's gotta be a two. This guy got some big ol' cajonas to put Panera's soup in a two. I just like... I have to tell you, sometimes I feel like it's a wasted sin operating.
You know I'm all about my cookie points and then I need to do my cookie points. And sometimes I feel like eating chowder from a place like Panera or eating like a fucking, you know, a big mac or whatever. Not something I eat, but it's like a way, it's like, oh, I could have had a cookie cream, you know, or I could have had like a cinnabon. I would trade as much as I love the Panera soup.
I would trade a cinnabon for a full fucking Panera chowder in a day. Luckily cinnabons are not that common because like I don't ever have a situation where I'm passing a cinnabon. The reason I'm sure that I don't eat cinnabon all the time is because there's never one near me. Yeah, because you're never in malls or airports.
Correct, but like fuck me. I would say probably the next time I see a cinnabon I'm going to get one because it's been years and I... Yeah, you've got it. Oh, and I got the minis, bro.
Oh fuck. Just the smell alone is too small. The smell is unbelievable. All right, I gotta, we gotta get out of food.
And I want to avoid these, I feel like we're, we put ourselves in a box that's partially my fault because I suggested it. Let's remove this box here. This biblical box we've made. And let's just spitball some of our sins.
So how about this? I'm not really a sin. I'm talking about a big sleeping. It's a little sinful if you wake up at 1 p.m.
as a fucking 30 year old. Yeah, that sucks. I hate that. Yeah, okay, good.
But I think a three, if this is a sin, siesta. That little four to seven nappy nap. Well, we're not even the beauty of it is you don't even have to take a nap in a siesta. It's just like, you leave me alone.
I'm going to read. It doesn't matter. I'm going to fucking... Reading, I would not say as a sin.
No, but reading the most boring sin. As a part of a siesta, come on, bro. I can't take naps. I don't know what to tell you.
What about binging a show? So, earlier in quarantine, I watched the entire first season of the M Night Show on Apple TV Plus in a night. Eventually, it was like, oh fuck, I'm just going to be up till four. This is how it go.
I hate that, dude. I hate it so much. I couldn't stop. I hated it too.
I was like, well, now it's gone. Okay, so we agree that a power binge is a one for that. But this is like a binge in a day. We're not talking about like, oh, over the course of a week I watched it.
Right, right. Or it's over the course of the week. It's like, oh yeah, I watched that show over a week and you're like, oh, it's not a big deal. And you're like, oh, it's 11 seasons.
Like, oh, god, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh my God.
I have another one that is not going to super be relevant to either of us Dorks. But it is a sin about getting into a little row. Yeah, it sucks. You think it's a one?
I kinda. I think it's a one, it's rarely like a good time. It's always something stupid. Cause it's never like, oh, I was defending my friend.
It's always like, oh, we were both drunk and that guy bumped into me and I didn't like his fucking goatee. It is a bad goatee though. You have to admit. Yeah, I'm trying to like Google something to get ideas for this, but I don't know how to explain to Google what I mean.
Yeah, what you mean by sin? I got, okay, what about getting into a little trouble? Ooh, it's funny in the trouble. What kind of trouble do you think?
What about playing hooky? It's a little trouble. Oh, playing hooky, I love it. Do you think that is pride or sloth?
Probably sloth, right? You're like taking off work. That's literally sloth. What other kind of trouble do we get into?
Pranks, baby. Where you put in pranks? It's a two. Maybe a one.
Pranks kind of suck. It's fun though. It is really fun to prank people that hate getting pranked. Like you know I'm a fucking icer.
I love to ice people. But is it fun to ice me? Cause I hate it and it doesn't seem fun for either. No, I don't ice you because you're too big of a baby for it.
But it's fun as hell to ice people to get pissed off. I'm putting an icing in as a one and I won't hear otherwise. Come on. For envy, like backstabbing is a one, right?
That's a sin that is like the worst. Oh yeah. Yeah. Special Jabu 8th sin is a no.
What is that? I mean like starting a podcast. Yeah. Anything that we do.
OK, I mean, I have one for Jabu 8th and I don't know where it fits on the rest of the list. How about when we absolutely wrecked a bunch of little kids at House of Air on our birthday? Bro, that is not a sin. That is God's work.
You're angels delivering God's message. And that message is step the fuck back little ass kids. Destroying the children at House of Air is a free. I guess that's technically wrath.
But you know, I don't. It's not. I think maybe just like being a teenager is a full on sin. You're just garbage and worthless.
Yeah. And that's one I assume. Yeah. And we were all there, folks.
We've all been a teen. What about when you're a little ass baby and you're just pooping and pee peeing in your pants? Where does that go? I suppose it is a sin.
I don't know if that's a sin, bro. You're losing the plot a little bit here. Pee pee and poo poo in your diaper? It's a sin.
I hate it. I got one. You ever steal some, bro? Oh, you know I have.
So where are we putting theft? I feel like it's kind of a three. It's a two because most theft is not cool. I would.
I disagree. And I'll make a strong argument for it. I think most theft is cool. Who are you stealing from?
Only if you're stealing from the man. I'm like a little Robin Hood. I only steal from the man. Correct.
Yes. That's what I'm saying. And I think that's where most thefts takes place. Because technically, I don't have a Disney Plus account.
I use Wilders. I'm stealing from Disney. Sorry, Disney. Nice fucking try.
I don't have a Netflix account. I use my dads. I'm stealing from Netflix. Sorry, Netflix.
Nice fucking try. Hulu. No thanks. Chelsea's mother.
How about like someone like dining and dashing though? That's so bad that. Right. I know.
It's got to be a category. Like stealing from people that you can't steal. Like if you like Rob a liquor store. Somebody's stock.
Okay. Okay. So theft will put it at two. But I do think most theft is good theft.
I'll give you a once. Trying to steal a scantron from the college bookstore. Because you're late for a test. Even though they only cost $0.25.
And trying to put the quarter down on the counter. Oh, did you make the test now? There's no way that you haven't told this story before. I'm pretty sure I have it.
Every time I tell a story I cut it out. Oh yeah, well then pop it in. See if it makes the cut. I did tell.