Somatic Healing, Freeze States and Safer Relationships | Darci Burke | EP205

Send us Fan MailMost people think they are broken when they feel emotionally shut down, stuck in painful patterns, or numb in their relationships. Somatic practitioner Darci Burke joins April and Chad to explain why your nervous system is not broken, it is protecting you.And how learning to work with your body instead of against it is the key to healing, deeper connection, and love that actually feels safe. In this interview, you'll learn:1. How to recognize if you are living in a freeze state without knowing it2. Why your nervous system shuts down instead of fighting or fleeing3. What the difference is between freeze and full dorsal vagal shutdown4. Why trauma is not about what happened to you but what happened inside you5. How childhood wounds get silently projected onto your adult partner6. Why regulation does not mean calm it means presence7. How to stay present with anger without destroying yourself or your relationship8. Why you cannot think your way out of what your body is holding9. How titration and pendulation release survival energy safely from the body10. Why plant medicine and breathwork can re-traumatize an under-resourced nervous system11. How to communicate your body sensations to your partner during conflict12. Why relationship health is measured by how fast you repair not how often you rupture. You are allowed to choose yourself. You are allowed to stop playing small. The life you are grieving may be the very thing making room for the one you actually belong in.With Love and Safety,Chad & April ❤️What We Discuss:00:00 Teaser: Why relationships become self-serving without inner work 01:30 Introducing somatic practitioner Darci Burke 03:00 Live grounding practice, orienting and resourcing your nervous system 10:00 How Darci's own healing led her to somatic work 15:00 Chad on freeze, dissociation, and men's disconnection from the body 17:36 What a freeze state actually is and why it is exhausting 20:00 The antelope analogy, freeze as survival, not weakness 21:35 Functional freeze, functioning on the outside, numb on the inside 26:00 Trauma is what happened inside you, not just what happened to you 28:26 The personality traits that are actually survival patterns 31:00 Why healing must be slow, titrated, and consistent 36:31 Women, anger, and the nervous system history behind it 40:00 Regulation means presence, not calm 42:38 Your partner mirrors your unresolved wounds 47:00 How childhood rewires your definition of love and safety 55:00 Your nervous system sets the foundation for your entire lived experience 57:00 Practical somatic steps to heal freeze inside a relationship 1:00:19 How to name body sensations to your partner during conflict 1:01:17 Relationship health is how fast you repair after rupture 1:06:22 How to connect with Darci Burke 1:07:20 Darci's closing message, come home to yourself Support the show🔔 Subscribe for more great content and share this with someone who needs to hear it. Ready to get to work on yourself and your own relationship?❤️ Work With ChadInstagram |  @chadonlove❤️  Work with AprilInstagram |  @aprilbenincosa  Follow or Contact Safe to Love:Email | [email protected] |   safetolove.org YouTube |   @SafetoLoveShow Facebook |  Safe-to-Love Instagram |  @safetoloveshow TikTok | @safetoloveshow