Hey gang, Wabu here. Never a good thing when you hear me before the intro, but it turns out that in this episode I have to do a little bit of a disclaimer. Because one of us, I'll let you decide who, recorded their audio through their computer mic and not through their actual external mic. So once again, one of us, I will let you decide who, sounds like they're on a fucking Skype call.
Enjoy. Hello again. Welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse.
That over there is the fat Wabu you heard so much about. And we're here to tell you about stuff. Couple of dangerous boys coming at ya. Yes.
And I think we just got to start off on a little bit of a different note today. Okay, I'm very nervous. Here's the thing, fam. Some of you got to know about us.
There's a sort of a situation that happens when you're dealing with two dangerous boys like ourselves. Oh, I do know what's coming. Yes. So come up.
Tell them what happens. If you are a hater, Oh God, tell them. And you try to front. Yes.
McGrath, what's gonna happen when they try to front? You're gonna get step two is what's gonna happen. Got a bit of a hater today. Let's hear it.
Jaynezy. Jaynezy. With the five star review, we appreciate that five star review. We do appreciate the five star review.
Cannot express that enough. But mostly we got a step to the hater real quick and Jaynezy's five star review. Jaynezy said never in a million years where I send Jesse and fat Wabu my bit Moji, which is of course a reference to Backward Star. So shout out to Jaynezy making their way through the sludge all the way in our back catalog.
Yeah, a real one for that. They also said that we were millennials whining. We have never whined. Nah, never whined.
I hate whining. I would never whine about anything. And I wear my millennialism as a badge of honor. So don't try and come into my mentions with that slur because guess what?
It's I take that slur and I turn it into slurry cane and I drink it out. You know what? I would never send a million years. Any love to Jaynezy.
No, except for the five star view, I will send love for that. Do we step to the hater enough? I think the hater's been step two. I mean, let's if we want to take a step further with our stepping, we could say, Jaynezy, guess what?
You're a millennial. Okay. That's number one. Number two, you're fucking whining about our whining.
What does that make you a double whiner? A big wiener? A whiner rhymer? A whiner rhymer?
A fucking whiner. What are you a wine mom? What are those Facebook wine moms that has like seven million followers? Oh, wine moms also a good name for our podcast.
Oh, fuck. All right. Cut that one out. We can't let him know about why mom's coming soon.
He's leaving us five star reviews. You can hate as long as you know you're going to get step two. And after that, devastating public debasing that we just gave to Jaynezy. Do you have the gall to step to us?
Yeah, I fucking dare you. I dare you to leave a five star review where you step to us. Because you're going to get step right back to you. So anyway, welcome to Wine Moms.
On this episode of Wine Moms, we're going to be making a rubric for something that we all know and love in this world. And it's very topical because in less than a week, we will be watching the big game. The big game. The big game.
We cannot say the real name because it's incredibly illegal to even speak of the big games. Real name. Yes, with the superb owl. Yes.
And if you are going to watch it in a place, then why not a sports bar, I guess? It's funny that you said that we all know and love because I know many people that hate sports bars. Most people hate sports bars unless you like sports. But when I said we know and love, I met you enough.
Yeah, correct. OK, you know the rules on Wine Moms. I will say, as a Wine Moms, I do find a sports bar to be a great place to be when fun sports are on unless it is a high, it's a big game, maybe even the big game. And my team is participating.
I want to be the farthest fucking away from a sports bar as I can be because it's too much. I don't want to hear anybody else. I just need to be in my own little stress ball at home. I know that's just a me thing, but I just got to be just me and my other Wine Moms, maybe.
Have you ever been in a sports bar when your team won? No. Because that is magic, brother. It's so good.
But lose. Think about losing, though. Yeah, listen up, punks. We're going to make you a rubric, OK?
We're going to create a rubric for the perfect sports bar. We're going to rank them in three different ways. The best it can be. That's very quite lit.
The most medium it could be. That's very pretty good. And the worst it could be. That's very not quite lit.
Where do we start? What category? I'm going to put activities for now. We could rename it if we want.
Sure. Because like, OK, so we're going to probably talk a lot about underdogs in San Francisco. I would imagine that's a great sports bar that we spend a lot of time in. We spend a lot of our formative years in.
One of the great things about underdogs, they got that little pop shot in the back. How about amenities? Oh, amenities. Oh, god.
You love amenities. Dude, how good are amenities just in general? Oh, yeah. I mean, you check into a hotel and it's like, you want to hear about the amenities?
I'm like, yes, please. I want to hear about the television. Tell me about the fucking amenities. God Christ right now.
OK, so pop a shot. I'm going to say very quite lit. I call it a super shot. Everyone gets it.
It's a basketball game. Yeah, it's a little shot. Great, sports bar. Another clutch thing that you dogs does.
I mean, we can't just talk about underdogs the whole time, but they got some of their tables. Our arcade like it's a little Pac-Man machine. It's also a glass to finish on top. So you can eat off of it and play a little Paco-Puck-a-Mum.
Yeah, I'm just going to say arcade games in general, but that Pac-Man gets a special shout out because I do love a Pac-Table because of the versatility. I also like Blarney Stone. That counts as a sports bar, right? So Michigan bar for some reason.
Shuffleboard, baby. Would like food be an amenity? I think it is because otherwise amenities is just going to be fucking games. Because you have your standard pub grub and that's...
I think standard pub grub goes for very pretty good. Yeah, because you need like, over liable, right? Like sometimes you want to fish in chips. Sometimes you want fried broccoli.
Yeah, standard pub grub. There's a sports bar downtown in LA. They have a little subway style in the corner, a little sandwich counter made to order sandwiches. See that?
I like how about food with a claim to fame? I feel like it's not standard pub grub. It's got like that sandwich thing you just said is a good one. Or like the fucking, this isn't so much the food, but at Underdogs, the salsa is so fucking good.
That roasted, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, they got that secret hot sauce. Actually secret hot sauce is a bonus point for sure. Okay.
And I'm just going to say literally secret sauce because I think that's fair. Very not quite lit. I don't, I fork a knife food. You know what I'm talking about?
Like don't, don't be like, oh yeah, do you want a meatloaf? No, I don't want the meatloaf. Stoopa loo. A steak.
Something that happens, I don't know how I go in LA, but I would say that in San Francisco and New York, it's a very pretty good thing to me. A lot of places are like, oh, just order food from the place next door. I'm medium to that because that's very pretty good. I think you've added a step for me.
However, that food is probably dank. And that gives me some more choices. Yeah, I like when sometimes you get into a place and they just got menus all over the bar. Right.
It's like, there's a place that delivers. I just hate that because delivery takes so much foresight, which I feel like we've talked about so many times about how we have no foresight at all. So we have none of. So delivery is like, oh, I'm kind of hungry.
What are we thinking? Wings? Great. 75 minutes.
Oh, well, fuck. How about, you know what? I want to change this up a little bit. Go for it.
I'd like to do a category for food at a sports bar. OK. And I'm going to go. I'm sorry.
Very pretty good is wings. Because they're all over your thingies, brother. But then go to the bathroom. Who's the time?
Wings, I guess. I want them. Fingies covered in sauce the whole time? Yes.
I think they're not covered in sauce the whole time. You get a thousand napkins. And then you go take a dip in the sink when you're done. Wash them all off.
I mean, that's fine. I'll be very, very good. But this is a that's a wilder. How about OK, so like sandwiches, I feel like pretty good.
Very quite lit. Yeah. I mean, anything that's like I would say food with a claim to fame kind of covers it a little bit in terms of like, yeah, the burritos and underdog sandwiches at that place. Like if there's a, you know, I don't.
Oh, no. I don't want to betray ourselves. Go on. Is soup very not quite lit at a sports bar?
Oh, OK. Look, we're men with refined palettes. We are sons of soup, you guys. We're sons of soup.
It is soup season 20. Just a quick little vacation to soup season. Our hottest new segment. What kind of soup's you been jamming on lately?
Oh, you know, I texted you the other day when I was, I just scorched through some of that wild rice and chicken, cream of wild rice and chicken soup at Panera. And Chelsea made a big old batch of beef stew that I've been on a little bit earlier this week. Real hearty. Mm.
What you got from the brother? I had a hot and sour last week. Whoo. Anyways.
Damn. Shit. OK. That concludes our soup season.
So soup is a horrible thing at a sports bar. It's just like high spill. Yeah. You look like a fool eating a soup.
You got to really focus on soup. You can't really like absent mindily eat soup, right? Like you can't like look at the TV and then take a little spoonful, bring it up to your mouth. So very quiet.
I'm going to put low-focus food. Yeah. Fries to me. Yeah.
Ultimate very quiet lit. Yeah. Shareable, if you like, right? Mm-hmm.
Fries and tots. I got something for amenities that I got to put in very not quite lit. Going. When like it's a sports bar.
So you know, like you said, this is part of the thing, right? It's like sports bar is a specific purpose. It's not a regular bar. You obviously have to have TVs.
You should probably have food because people are going to be there a while. I'm going to say regular bar bathrooms. I need you to step your game up. Not a one-person bathroom.
Not a one. Your dog's got a nursery bathroom. Oh, it's always wet. It's what it's what it's what it's what it's what that.
I don't know. Always wet. I have, I think this is an amenity that I want to put in here. I'm going to shut up.
This bar I'm talking about in New York, Finnerties is the various sports bar. Something they do that is so choice. This might actually be a bonus point. You can let me know.
They are really great about fading between music and game audio when the game goes to commercial. So we need to hear like commentary and like all of that shit. But then when commercials come on, they fade right back into music. And like it's pretty.
Yeah, it's pretty consistent. Do you think that's an amenity or something? Or is that a bonus point? I would say bonus point because that's I've never heard of that.
But it's a good one. Yeah. You also give me sound on. But the problem, don't give me those subtitles.
They're always like 100 years behind. I don't, if it's a sports bar, I want to hear some. Even with the commercials. I'm here for the game.
I want that sound. I think that's very pretty good because then you're going to get commercials. And like sometimes it's just talking about that. That's when you chat.
Right. It's a loud bar. But don't you also feel that sometimes it's annoying to hear like Chris Collins where it'd be like, well, you know, on that throw. I think that's pretty good.
How about allegiance to a specific team for Very Quite Lit? A loyalty. That's very quite lit for you. You want that?
That's good. Yeah. I have a very not quite lit for this one, I think. When a bar charges for like big games or pay per view.
Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, I've never heard of that. Where I've seen it the most is like if a bar is showing like a fight. Yeah.
And they'll be like, it's always people go to bars. I thought it because they don't want to pay for it. Right. And I'm going to sit in there and there and like one time I was trying to go to a bar and say I'm just going to watch like the rugby World Cup at like noon.
And they were like, well, we had to buy this extra sports package to get it. So it's $20 to get in and a two drink minimum. I'm sorry. Get the fuck out of here.
How much was that sports package? Like right. And like and the bar was packed. So even if no one had paid like everyone there is getting a picture like that's crazy to me.
No, no, no, but I do like I think this goes in the same category. Game based happy hour slash specials. Love that. Game space specials.
Absolutely. And underdogs will do with a thing where during Warriors games, it's like every time they hit a three, which has in their prime it was happening every fucking 10 seconds or something. It was like dollar shots or some shit like that. Oh, there was this bar in my neighborhood when the Lakers and the playoffs they would do.
If you got a beer, they would give you a small free personal pizza. That's going to bonus points. We're going to have a lot of bonus points for this one free personal pizza. That's pretty much a bonus point for every single rubric will do ever in the future.
Lots of space very quite lit. Yeah. I think that goes into bar quality. If that's what we're going to call it.
Mad dog in the fog, which is like a rugby slash soccer bar in San Francisco. That's like a huge bar. That has a pool table and a back patio and they have like multiple projector screens. It's just a much more pleasant viewing experience for sure.
How about bonus points? A bartender that hooks it up. Well, yeah, I think that's any bar. But yeah, I'll get that.
I really appreciate when the staff is committed to the fact that it's a sports bar too. Like, do you ever go to a sports bar where all of the everything around is sportsy? And then the bartender is just like some regular dude that's like, oh, I don't know. Is the game on?
Like doesn't really give you know what I'm talking about? Mm-hmm. I feel like sometimes you go to a sports bar. It's clearly a sports bar.
There's like memorabilia on the walls. The fucking TVs are on. But they're just the bartender or whoever's working there is like not into it or like rolls their eyes when everyone cheers. Like is that the giant's one that year the bartender's underdogs got up on the bar, busted out a bunch of bottles of tequila and started pouring them into people's open mouths.
Sure. A certain health code violation. That's what I would call a committed staff. That highly committed.
Titchy with a very not quite lit guy rooting for both teams. Well, yeah, sure. Boston fan, correct? That very same year that I got that seat at the bar.
There was a dude next to me. I was like her Celtics finals. He was wearing a jersey that was half Lakers half Celtics like the front half. Where did you even get such a nonsense back?
Was like a Kevin Garnett. I don't know. I hated it so because at first I was like okay, a Celtics guy. And then you turned around.
I was like what the fuck is this? Yeah, much worse. Much worse. I got so I love a rivalry.
Rivalries are great. They're one of the things that makes sports so wonderful. Yes. And I've had situations where I've been posted up at a Lakers Celtics game.
And it's there have been Boston fans. I've had like me on the other side. We're both having fun talking shit, but it's all in fun. I've also had not that.
I've also had a guy who is legit trying to start some shit. And that guy got to go. That guy got to go. Okay.
So for very quite late, I think a fun. Oh, bandwagon fan. Give me bandwagon fan and very not quite late. Yeah, we're going to have a lot of here's the problem with sports bars.
This is what we're learning right now, but we already knew that the true undoing of sports bars is the clientele. Absolutely. Very, pretty good. I'm going to put wants to actually start shit only because it's only not the worst for me because you know I'm always trying to get into a scrap.
I'm damn I'm so down. What about a physical fight in a very pretty good? Okay. Yeah.
No, I'm interested in it. In it. A real fight. A real fist fight.
I kind of want a what you know what I mean. You know, it has to build naturally, but I think like it's appropriate in any situation of this fight is what I've always been known to say. Appropriate in any situation. That's a great point.
What do we think about? I hate I got another very not quite lit for clientele. Geez, everyone in a sports bar sucks. The armchair analyst.
The worst. But he's just there to oh we had that fucking bozo at the Giants game that we went to that one time. Yes, that is the same Giants game that we drank in entire bottle of Oakhart and then walked home. No, that was the fluke talk we did that, baby.
That wasn't even a game. That was fluke talk dude. Do we walk all the way back home? Yes, we walked a goddamn 10 mile back to the fucking cells here.
That's really cool thing that we used to do in college guys. It was so fucking cool. You don't understand where we would just drink Oakhart all the time? Yeah, because we hated it and we thought it would be funny if we drank it constantly.
Yeah, we drank it. It's rum by the way. We wouldn't a lot of times we wouldn't even cut it with anything. No.
Anyways, back to the original story. Someone will lean over and be like, well, you know, in week 12 that dude actually scored three touchdowns against the same team. Oh, like you're talking about like mega boring stats. Yes, or just like, oh, thank you.
Or should that everyone already knows because we've watched one second of sports that are building up to it. You know, like I'm thinking like big game shit. Yeah, like a playoff game where it's like the same staff that every single segment has led with where it's like, well, you know, Tim Duncan against the Mavericks. If he's got, he's average is double double and like every single person has ever said that because they've been building up to this series for the last three days.
And he says that stat and I'm just like, yeah, no, I do know because I also watched the pre game and the post game last week and all this other shit. Like I just don't need it. 100% pass. Occurrences very quite late.
High Five was strangers. Would you agree? Oh, my favorite. Yeah, it's very powerful.
It's if you never high five to stranger for like good reason. Obviously it's tough because you do need some sort of consent whether it be eye contact or not because otherwise you know, but like you get that first that game just started first point. You get that first high five with that stranger. You guys know, basically dating now.
Big time. Yes. You're in a high five relationship with this person for the next three hours. Oh, yes.
Especially at the game. I mean, that's a whole different thing. But yes, at the game high fives to spare. They're going around everywhere.
At the game is a whole different conversation for a different day, but I'm high five in my whole section. I'm running up and down the fucking bleachers just screaming and hollering and whatnot. Very not quite lit. Power outage.
OK, yeah. Power outage at a key moment. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
That's definitely happened to me. Has it? Oh, yeah. I mean, can I get a real obvious one for occurrences?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. My team win and then my team lose and then maybe like it's a tie for me. If you're watching soccer, stupid ass soccer.
Yeah, NFL has ties sometimes to it. Bonus points isn't soccer. OK. Yeah, not as not as soccer.
I don't care for that soccer. The field is too big or the players are too small. Yeah, it's one of them. Maybe both.
You ever think about that? Maybe both. You know what I kind of like for his clientele? An old dude.
Oh, sure. He's got like a he's got like a jacket from like 30 years ago. And he's a pretty cool memorabilia. Yeah.
And they win the game and you could like a maybe a tear starts to well up in his eyes because like they have one. He takes one last sip of his of his own duels and he's on his way. And then he just dies in the street with the. Oh, yeah, it's just evaporates like a Jedi.
He's one with the force. And it's turns right in the bus and his clothes just fall in a pilot before. Yeah, it turns out then the bartender's like, you know, wiping down. You're like, who was that guy?
And they're like, what guy? And you're like, Barney at the end of the bar. And they're like, Barney, Barney's been dead for 30 years. Oh, bar is haunted.
That's a bar quality. It's going in there. Conted. What do we think about haunted?
Got to be very pretty good. I think we've talked about haunted before. And I think it'll always be. We talked about this for Italian.
Yes, it'll be in very pretty good. It's not going to say opposite team bar. Very pretty good. Like being in like enemy territory, like watching the Lakers play the Warriors at a Lakers bar for me.
Yeah, for example, there's this like one of the biggest sports bars in LA is a Kansas City bar. People would be going there for the superb owl anyways. If I go into the enemy's nest and my identical twin, Jimmy G, pulls out a win. Do I want to be there?
Kinda. Yeah, it's only a little bit. Will I get torn limb from limb like Dylan Moranish on the dead perhaps? Yeah, maybe a little bit.
So for then for bar quality, worth it. Who's to say? I got another very not quite lit for clientele. How about the people?
It's always definitely more than one. How about the people that are there not to watch the game? What are y'all doing here? Are acting like a bunch of dickheads?
Oh, I got a very not quite lit clientele. Okay, hit me. Sports ball people. Okay, yes.
Yes. Yes. Go tell the audience what a sports ball is. What a sports ball person.
Sports ball person is someone who takes such great pleasure in not caring about sports that they use the term sports ball to describe all kinds of sports. And they it's really like I'm better than you think. Yeah, and it's just like what do you. I get there's not really a great way to like take the picture of here's what the alternative is.
I'll give you an example. Go ahead. I used to know this guy who love Buffalo Wild Wings. Strike one.
Okay. He loved Buffalo Wild Wings so much that he would ask me are the Lakers doing their game today because I don't want to be with all the sports ball fans. Wait, so he liked Buffalo Wild Wings but didn't like sports? He did not like sports.
He loves Buffalo Wild Wings so much. What? Obviously could have Googled the Lakers schedule, but he wanted to let me know that he knows so little about sports that he just calls it sports ball. Unreal that you would go to Buffalo Wild Wings for something other than the fact that they have 75 TDs.
Yeah. I got a clientele that goes into very pretty good and it's very specific to one experience I had going then. I was at Fairies and I was watching a regular season Diders game and there was also the last Giants game of the season and I was sitting there with my friend and then voice her behind and he goes, Jesse and I turned and he said, Jesse McGrath and I was like, yes. And he was like, it's me TJ from sixth grade.
This man who I do not remember because he's TJ was just happened to be in New York at this bar and he recognized me somehow even though he has not seen me since I was 12 years old. I have a giant beard now. Sure. I would have very pretty good an old acquaintance specifically.
What about the old acquaintance are you not vibing with? Well I'm there for a purpose and it's not to catch up. Do you know what I mean? Gotcha.
And so TJ was just trying to chat it up. I wasn't actually that bad but it was just like this now I have this internal conflict of like I feel like I should be turning around and being like, dude, what have you been up to and I just don't want to because I'm here to watch two different games. I see what you're saying. It's not a time to catch up unexpectedly.
You're there for the superb owl. Yeah, I got to tell you, I'm going to put very pretty good conversations about things other than the sport or game. What do we feel about that? Very pretty good because like I'm going to want to talk about maybe something else.
Definitely. I don't know if your client tell very not quite lit. Your friends that don't like sports who are like, I'll just come and then they want to talk about others. You know what I mean?
I mean, I'm not going to talk about sports because I feel like I have a lot of friends who are just like only passively engaged in sports and I don't want to force them to come to a thing. You know, especially when I'm not going to pay close attention to them. A current is a date. I would say a date.
Oh, that's very not quite lit. What if you're on a date with somebody who's like, you don't think that'd be an opportunity for a little fun, a little fun and flirty if they're like maybe a fan of the rival team? That would be fun and flirty. Another podcast I love ours.
Yeah. I mean, I guess a little fun and flirty date is what I think. It could be like, oh, how about a current is maybe just like rather than a date? I'm EQ.
What the fuck is that? What is that? What are you saying? Meat, cute, meat, cute, are you saying meat, cute?
Meat, cute, cute. I'm going to meet you on here. When the boy and the boy and the girl meet in a romantic comedy, that's the meat cube, you know, they bump into each other at Starbucks. So it's sort of a sort of a heteronormative thing.
It's got to be a boy and a girl. Absolutely. In my Donald Trump's America, only boys and girls. It's a heteronormative meat cube.
Do not write heteronormative meat cube. It's already there. It cannot be deleted. But like, you know what I mean?
Rather than a date, it's like what if the two of you meet? Sure. I'm not going to be a bad one for you. When you have to ask the bartender to change it to your game.
Oh my god. And it's like, what are we even doing here? Here I am in Los Angeles asking you to play some playoff Dodgers. And you've got an avalanche game on the TV?
Yeah, that always fucks me up hard. The bartender's always like, well, I got to ask the fucking guy in the corner who requested it. And the guy looks at me like I'm the villain. Yes, it's always some fucking cheese dick in the corner that's like, oh, well, he wanted to watch this 1987 Olympic replay.
So I got to ask him even worse. The bartender rather than saying I got to ask, the bartender says, you got to ask. I did not come here for this. Oh my god.
All of my courage to ask you, I cannot ask a stranger. I'm fresh out of courage. The well is dry. Oh boy.
Oh geez. Or when they don't know how you ask them and they're like, well, the channels are just on when I come in and you're like, what? 75 TVs in here. How about very not quite lit?
Table service? Oh, you don't like table service? Mm. It just I feel like it takes forever.
Okay. Well, can we put it medium then? Yeah. Table service is nice.
I guess it's nice and I have to go to the bar, but I feel like usually most of the time it's like one fucking server who's got the whole damn bar. Yes. I agree with that fully clientele. But like person that is far too drunk.
Well, sure. Specifically, I will see someone that is drunk in like the like shit faced in the third quarter, and it's like, oh brother, you got a lot of time left. Oh, remember Airhorn guy? Okay.
Well, obviously that's the worst person. Tell about Airhorn guy quickly before I become the Hulk. The Blarny Stone, what we referenced the Michigan bar, there was this dude that would show up more than once with a fucking Airhorn. And that's all you need to know.
No, that's not all you need to know, because he tried to frame me. Do you recall that? Oh, I forgot. I thought that's what we were gonna say.
Obviously, Airhorn guy my mortal enemy because Airhorn guy came over while I was like playing fucking foosball or something. I forgot all about that. And fluked his fucking Airhorn right by me. And then the bartender came over and was like, hey, don't do the Airhorn.
I was like, that wasn't me. I didn't do it. She was like, whatever, just don't do it again. And then he did it again.
And she was like, seriously, we're gonna have to ask you to leave. And I was like, I swear to God, I'm not Airhorn guy, more than anything on my life. And I remember like six other people being like, he's not Airhorn guy. It's not him.
Airhorn guy, I can still see just the soulless red eyes. Yeah, he was a demon and a shapeshifter. You look like Christopher Lloyd from Hoofre, Roger Rabbit. Ooh, occurrences.
This is dumb that we took this long. I have a great one. Something historic happens in the game. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. A no-hitter, a fucking, a team ends a championship drought like the Giants did. Yeah, a record's broken. Some player sets a single game record for scoring or whatever.
Mm-hmm. Because that's one of those like, if you're a sports fan, like you remember where you were when? Absolutely. That's the good good.
Can I give you a bonus point? One that you will obviously love if it's Olympics season? Oh, my God. Every sports bar, good sports bar.
You understand? All of them. Oh, all of them. King, the Olympics can't come soon enough.
Oh, they're coming. They're right around the corner, baby. Oh, my God. They're pregnant for the Olympics.
Yeah, I'm incredibly horny for the Summer Olympics. If y'all don't know about this, you're going to hear about it for the next eight years. I like when I go in and there's a little bit of skier sports on. I mean, that's the Olympics specialty to me, right?
You try to figure it out. You're trying to figure it out. Fucking handball in the Olympics is wild. It's Quidditch.
Oh, they're, they're, they get turned to fuck up. They're wilding out there. Do we have any other good clientele other than fun and earnest rivalry and old homey without doing a real wish list here? What about a legendary player from that team from the past?
Oh, oh, my God. James, where are these here? Right. Okay, which?
Can I hit you with like a realistic one? That's, that's honestly insane. Yeah. Not even realistic.
How about, it's wild because this actually happened to me, a player that that played in the game that you just watched. How's that going to work out? So I, I went to a Santa Cruz Warriors game, which is like a G League. It's an NBA, the Warriors, NBA, G League affiliate and they beat the Oklahoma City, G League affiliate.
And after the game got out, we went to the sports bar across the street just to like get some dinner and watch, you know, whatever actual sports were on. And the, the dude that scored like the most points off the bench for that team walked into the fucking bar like it was no big deal, like literally right across the street from the stadium. Obviously got a hero's welcome. Of course.
This also seems like an obvious one for amenities. The more TVs, the better. Yes. More TVs, the better.
Absolutely. There should be no angle in a sports bar where I can't see a TV. So that just, I would, that would be amenities. I feel like what's the sign above the roost?
Oh, yeah. Big TV. Big TV going to be very pretty. But no TVs radio only for very not quite lit.
Yeah, sure. That's pretty, pretty rough. How about just like near other stuff too? Because once that game is over at your team, and you're feeling particularly froggy.
Because you do want to leave regardless of if you're in like the best sports bar you've ever been in. As soon as the game's over, it's like cool, where are we going now? One that I think is medium. The, I kind of don't like a regular.
No, it's, I see what you're saying. The regular, I don't want the sad regular. You know what I mean? Yes.
Yes. I like a, like a nice, like, oh, that's John's always your John rules. Yeah, like old guy John. Don't want old guy who's a ghost at the end of the bar.
That's great. Yeah. I don't like the depressing, like, oh, he's here. He's only a regular because he's an alcoholic and he's got nothing in his life.
I don't need that. I think something that fucks me up is that the only people that that I ever talk to is like the bar tenders and the bouncer. So it's not like he. Or anyone unfortunate enough to sit next to him.
Yeah, but not he doesn't have like real friends. It bumps me out. So can I put? Yeah, it's a big.
So is that then so he's not even a two. That's a one. That's a full one. Bummer bar fly.
That's a one. I got one more. Okay. We're going to family in terms of clientele.
Very not quite. I don't need them. I'm loud. I'm drinking.
I'm saying some of the bad words that I want to say. You know what I'm talking about though, right? Yeah, thank you for listening to a particularly tight, not very funny episode of Wine Moms. Yeah.
Well, Wine Moms, that's the thing with Wine Moms is sometimes you get the funny Wine Moms and she's cracking jokes and she's making witty observations and she's like, I've balanced my family and my work life. It's crazy. And sometimes she's like, I'm sad because I drink so much God fucking damn wine. What's the most ironic thing about this is that we chose to do this because we tried to be topical and we're like, this is what we should do.
Something topical that'll make the podcast better. Oh, mark my words. You will never get another topical fucking topic out of us. It will never happen again.
We really forced it. We were like, what are we going to do? Super Bowl party. Big game in general, Super Bowl commercials is something that got thrown out there.