Start Here - It's Time For A Reset

Send us Fan MailIt’s a new year, and with it comes a new beginning for many seeking change in some area of their lives. This change could be a desire to get out of debt, lose a few extra pounds, or improve physical fitness. Whatever that may be, take a few minutes to reflect and write those things down. Put it in your journal or maybe a note on your phone.Maybe you want to make changes that will improve your brain health. You want to replace negative thinking with positive. You want to work on relationships or build a community of people around you. Perhaps it is time to let another person in on your struggles. The new year might be a time to work towards the career you have always dreamed of.We all have areas of our lives that we want to improve. The problem, according to Debra Fileta, is that we go about this change all wrong. We may start getting up early each morning, going to the gym, or seeing a counselor. All of these are good places to start, but within a few weeks, we find ourselves slipping back into our old ways.In the first chapter of Reset, Debra Fileta encourages readers to consider the apostle Paul. In Romans 7:15 NKJV, Paul says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” We are creatures of habit, which often means we return to old, unhealthy ways of living. Debra says that if we look at this verse, we see a key phrase, “I do not understand what I do.” Woh! Paul, the author of a good part of the New Testament, makes a bold confession. He doesn’t understand his own ways. I’m not sure about you, but I relate to Paul’s statement a LOT! Many times, I simply do not understand my own ways.Why does this matter?Debra says, “…when we don't understand why we do what we do, well find ourselves doing the same things again and again. Understanding why we do what we do, learning to dig a little deeper, is paramount to changing our behavior. There's no way around it.” That’s huge! A big lesson here is that it is important for us to understand why we do what we do.Debra goes on to say, “…the people who end up having the most success in their attempts to change and grow are the ones who have an awareness of what’s going on deep down inside, underneath the surface.” Breaking free from old, unhealthy habits starts with understanding our behaviors and the patterns we continue going back to.In chapter one, Debra tells a funny story about a car she owned years ago in college. The car had several problems, and when Debra took it to the mechanic, she found out it wasn’t a lemon as she had assumed. A few months before, a friend of Debra’s had installed her car stereo. The friend had mistakingly crossed some wires in the process of installing a stereo, which led to a host of other issues.Maybe you can relate to this story of Debra’s. You keep trying to change something in your life, but you find yourself going back to those unhealthy patterns. Sometimes, it can feel like there is something seriously wrong with you. Have you ever stopped to consider whether you have some wires crossed underneath the surface? The truth is there are times when we develop unhealthy or untrue beliefs about ourselves, the world, or others.Thought -> Feels -> BehaviorsAbout halfway through the first chapter, Debra drops a huge, life-changing truth. Our thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to behaviors. If you have ever done any gardening, you know that to get rid of a weed, you need to pull out the roots and all. If you fail to do so, the weed will pop right back up again.This same principle applies to human behavior. If we fail to get to the root of what we are trying to change, we will find ourselves returning to the same old, unhealthy patterns. Debra says, “What's happening in your mind is so key to the process of transformation and change, and knowledge of it