Starting Over at 50: Leaving a Life That Looked Good on Paper

What does it actually look like to leave a life that looks good on paper — a 20-year marriage, a competitive athletic identity, a familiar world — and rebuild from scratch in your 50s? In this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with Jen Rulon — midlife transformation coach, TEDx speaker, 15-time Ironman finisher, and Kona qualifier — who walked away from her marriage, her career identity, and her relationship with alcohol, then moved alone to Costa Rica at 50. Jen and Leslie unpack what they both call "the slow unraveling" — the years of incremental leaving that happen long before anyone physically goes. They talk about how the body keeps score of a life that no longer fits, why high-achieving women keep performing instead of living, and what it actually takes to stop chasing finish lines and start trusting yourself. --TIMESTAMP-- 00:00 – Introduction to Jen Rulon 02:08 – Leaving a life that looked perfect 07:46 – The year everything changed 10:19 – Letting go of a 30-year identity 12:05 – The Costa Rica trip that changed everything 13:00 – Her last drink and a new perspective 16:35 – Marriage counseling and uncertainty 18:18 – Rebuilding purpose and helping women 21:04 – Awakening, questioning, and change 24:00 – Trusting instead of forcing 29:11 – Choosing herself for the first time 30:02 – Realizing she was running from her marriage 33:25 – Separation and moving toward divorce 35:35 – Saying, “I want a divorce” 36:26 – Moving to Costa Rica 39:49 – The power of saying it out loud 41:08 – Performing a life vs. living one 43:00 – Why women avoid the inner work 46:25 – Childhood wounds and relationships 47:47 – What she truly wanted beneath success 50:07 – How inner work changes relationships 54:24 – Trauma bonds, loneliness, and fear 56:02 – Trusting yourself after divorce 58:05 – Jen’s Four Pillars: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset & Meaning 59:53 – Stress, cortisol, and relationships 1:00:29 – Meditation and nervous system regulation 1:03:58 – When relationships hold you back 1:05:57 – “I finally know who I am” 1:06:58 – Finding support and community 1:10:47 – Working with Jen 1:13:18 – Rise With The Tides Retreat 1:15:30 – Life after divorce 1:16:40 – There is life after the change you're afraid to make ▶ WORK WITH LESLIE THROUGH — 8-week divorce recovery coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 1:1 coaching, podcast, and resources: https://theloomlife.com ▶ CONNECT WITH JEN RULON Website: https://jenrulon.com Free Rise Strong Blueprint: https://jenrulon.myflodesk.com/blueprint Instagram: @coachjenrulon TikTok: @coachjenrulon LinkedIn: Jen Rulon Memoir releasing 11/11/2026 ▶ IN THIS EPISODE • Why "the leaving" happens long before you physically go • Stacy Sims, perimenopause, and the moment Jen decided her last Ironman • Getting sober in December 2019 — and what came into focus once the mask came off • Asking for a trial separation, then asking for a divorce • Moving to Costa Rica alone at 50 — and what her family thought • Masculine and feminine energy, and why so many high-achieving women perform a life instead of living one • Jen's four pillars: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset, Meaning • Trauma bonds, the fear of loneliness, and why the fear is usually worse than the reality • Why finding people who match your energy is non-negotiable ▶ THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF You're a woman in midlife who's done everything right and still finds yourself wondering, "Is this it?" You're navigating a divorce, sobriety, an empty nest, a career pivot — or you can feel the slow creep that you've been living someone else's life. ▶ SUBSCRIBE Hit subscribe so you never miss a Tuesday episode. If this conversation resonated, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it genuinely helps other women find this work. ▶ FOLLOW THE LOOM LIFE Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews Web: https://theloomlife.com #midlifetransformation #divorcerecovery #startingover #sobriety #theloomlife