EPISODE · Aug 17, 2026 · 13 MIN
Stop Analysing Why They Did It (Focus On This Instead)
from Put Yourself First · host Kat Horrocks
You know the spiral. Something happens with your partner, your mate, your sister, and instead of feeling it, you're straight into detective mode. Why did they say that? What's going on for them? Is it their attachment style, their childhood, a bad day?Sound familiar, sister? If you've done any personal development at all, you've got a library of explanations on tap for other people's behaviour. And that's exactly the problem.In this short and sweet one, I'm calling out a pattern I see constantly in over-functioning, over-giving women: using your self-awareness and compassion on everyone except yourself. The ruminating, the theorising, the endless "well maybe it's because..." isn't understanding. It's another way of over-functioning. Another way of making yourself responsible for someone else's behaviour instead of your own response to it.I walk through why this happens (hello, sense of control), what it actually costs you, and the one phrase that's changed how I handle conflict for good: impact is more important than intent.In this episode:Why over-functioning women default to analysing other people instead of themselvesThe real cost of ruminating on someone else's behaviourA live example of shifting from "why are they like this" to "what do I want"The phrase that'll change how you handle every hard conversation from here onFeeling hurt by someone who isn't showing up the way you need them to? Stop trying to get inside their head. Come find out what putting yourself first actually looks like in the Sisterhood.LINKSConnect on InstagramJoin the Sisterhood
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Stop Analysing Why They Did It (Focus On This Instead)
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