Anthony Bompiani: Alienation or Protecting Your Child?

Anthony Bompiani spent more than twenty years as a family law attorney watching clients come apart in divorce and custody fights, and he believed he understood their pain. Then he went through his own divorce, and, in his words, it finally clicked. That is where his coaching came from.Anthony Bompiani is a retired judge and family law attorney who now coaches parents through high-conflict custody under the name Judge Anthony, drawing on a background in psychology and more than two decades in the system. He co-parents three sons after an amicable divorce of his own. He returns for the second half of a conversation with Lisa about how family court really treats parents, and what to do when it feels rigged against you.Anthony is blunt about how custody court can exploit ordinary parenting, the bruises kids get from play, the imperfections that make people human, and how a manipulative ex often accuses you of exactly what they are doing. He explains how judges weigh expert witnesses on competency and credibility, why a treating professional carries more weight than a paid expert who never met your child, and how a criminal record becomes relevant through the content and the timing of the offense. He also names the pattern so many listeners live in: the paper abuse used to drain and exhaust a former partner through repeated filings, and why he believes honest attorneys could shut most of it down.The through-line is where your power actually sits. Answer false allegations with a flat denial and starve them of your attention. Refuse the hatred that keeps you attached. And when you draw a judge who avoids deciding, the one Anthony calls a can kicker, stack the record politely on each appearance until the history forces a ruling. His coaching program and a free masterclass carry these ideas further, both on his site.As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.🎓 What you'll learnThe alienation-or-protection line, and why the timing of a first abuse claim works against youWhy, without signs of harm to the child, a court is unlikely to cut off the other parentHow to answer a false allegation: a flat "that's not true," and nothing that feeds their attentionWhy "up your game as a parent" beats going low, since kids learn from what they seeWhy you don't have to hate your ex, and how hatred keeps you attached instead of freeHow judges weigh expert witnesses, and why a treating professional beats a paid oneHow a criminal record becomes relevant through the content and the timing of the offenseWhat to do with a "can kicker" judge: stack the record out loud until it forces a ruling⏱️ Chapters 0:00 Intro 1:00 Recap, and where his empathy came from 3:00 Alienation or protection, and why the timing looks like motive 7:00 When you can't keep your kids from the other parent 11:00 Adversity, resilience, and upping your game as a parent 15:00 Does encouraging the relationship help? The abuse spectrum 17:00 Expert witnesses, competency, and credibility 21:00 Handling false allegations with a flat denial 27:00 Why you don't have to hate your ex 31:00 Vexatious litigation and legal abuse 41:00 Criminal records, and the "can kicker" judgeKeep going 💜 Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call 📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X 📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183 🔗 Judge Anthony (Anthony Bompiani): https://judgeanthony.comAbout Been There Got Out Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.