TAPE 63 - If Pluto Were Your Girlfriend

Tape 63 begins with an earnest attempt to advocate for dark matter, quickly pivoting into a passionate defense of Pluto, now rebranded as “Dwarfy,” a misunderstood ice dwarf traveling the wrong way and apparently deserving emotional support. A surprise interruption by Neil deGrasse Tyson does little to clarify matters, as Pluto’s size, temperature, and relationship to the sun are debated with mixed metaphors and diminishing patience.Back on Earth, attention turns to Bootstuck’s latest infrastructure project: a public bus that doesn’t move. Inspired by Into the Wild, the town has placed a lightly painted blue bus deep in the woods to attract tourists, photos, and eventually souvenirs, population growth, better education, and—if all goes well—a Walmart. The plan hinges on recirculated social media flyers, a possible air show, and the assumption that people will simply find the bus. The episode concludes with preparations to “gather around,” a boot-lace prank, and a final word of wisdom delivered under extreme urgency.Send us Fan Mailwww.bootstuck.com