What up, Mom? Put down that coffee and grab a wine. Get ready for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, a parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby's full diaper. I'm Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three living in Brooklyn, New York. Hi, I'm Christine. I'm a freelance video editor living in Los Angeles and mom to a toddler. Allie here, podcasting from South Kona, Hawaii, where I live up in the mountains with my husband and two sons. Hey, I'm Molly. I live in Los Angeles, California as a mom of a toddler and a teacher. And I'm Sarah, your in-house expert on all things mom and baby. I'm a nurse and a doula with a PhD living in Brooklyn, New York. Between five busy households, it's a miracle that we make it on the mic at all. But trust me, we need this as much as you.
Hi, everybody. Welcome to Nursing and Cursing. Ladies, what's up? So good to hear your voices. It has. So listen, we are...
talking target tonight guys okay thank god best friend okay i had like a very different opinion about target before i had a kid did you have an opinion about target um because i feel like i have a strong one now and i never even really had one yes okay it was a pain in my ass i agree i hated target it was a dreaded experience i had to do errands oh i gotta go to target oh it's on my to-do list almost punishment yeah we didn't have a target here you guys until a couple years ago so when target hit it was like holy shit we just hit the jackpot we got a target Huge. Especially on an island. Are you kidding me? Oh, yeah. How'd I get that bullseye out there, babe?
They built that bullseye. That's a labor of love. It's so much better to go to bullseye for a shower curtain than it is to Walmart. For sure. Oh, my God. Target versus Walmart is another app, though. That's a whole other app. It's true, but so when you have a baby, something happens, and Target is directly connected. Okay, I can tell you it's so easy. I can wrap it up for you. The bottom falls out of your life, and Target is there for – it replaces every relationship you ever had before. Okay, we can sign on now. Exactly. But do you guys remember there did not used to be –
Starbucks in Target. For the mom, when they put the Starbucks in the Target, was that just the best? That was for the moms. That was brilliant. Oh, you're here to pick up some more elasticated pants and a huge box of diapers, mom? I got you. I got you. You can roam the aisles with your latte, but there is one problem. Our carts in LA don't have cup holders. No, ours don't either. Does any carts have cup holders at Target? Well, look, let me take it a step further, and Sarah, I don't know what your experience is, but I feel like in New York there isn't really a target here for me. There are two targets I can go to in a crisis, but it's...
Even though it's only 0.7 miles from my house, it takes me an hour and a half to get there in the car and park. So I would never do it. Wow. Terrible news. Most of that time spent looking for parking. So Target to me is a treat for when I go visit my family in the burbs. Such a treat. Target for me is like a treat when I get some time alone. But also if I'm bored at home with Levi, it's like an event. Like who wants to go to Target? And he's super psyched. I do. Going to Target. Or when we drive by it on the road, he's like, I want to go to Target, mama. Like he's just as jazzed. Yeah, something for everybody. It was my first outing.
By myself. I still remember. So many moms. I still remember Molly texting, transitioning from Ergo to Carsey and back to Target. It's a big outing. Exactly. It's huge.
Yes. And so you guys remember? Oh, how many a time? Oh, yes. Walking the aisles, tits out. Tits on target. Frappuccino on the other hand. Right. But the tiny, tiny, tiny baby just tits out as I'm like, you know, checking the Nate Berkus section or whatever. Absolutely. But hands-free tits out. I got ergo. I got baby on the tit. Two hands on Nate. And I was limping at that time. So if you guys remember, I was down about seven weeks in the bed from a very bad infected tear and surgery. So by the time I was ready to get up, it was like, okay, it's my coming out party.
And it's not just physical. I feel like you're loved and supported there. That's what I was going to say. I felt like when I was walking down the aisles, other moms were catching my eye and I was silently saying like, I got this, right? How am I doing? I'm doing okay. You get me. You get me. They knew. They all knew. They totally knew. And they designed a store for the mom. I mean, just check out the baby section, you guys.
it's off charts i don't go in it so much anymore but it's like your go-to from the minute you're pregnant until your kids three you know they're so genius though because even when i go to the baby section i'm like see it would be so easy to have another kid it's all right here on aisle five i'm like what is so fucking hard about having a baby everything is right here and it's gonna be fine maternity leave it was not the baby section that excited me it was the um office supply section like the golden staplers and stuff okay what's your section Actually, you know what's weird? Now it's – this is a sign. This is how Target grows with you. It's like toys and electronics. Oh, wow. Wow. Have not – I mean toys, yeah. Okay, Kriti, what's your section? This is going to sound so creepy. I love the junior bra section. They have the best soft bras. Probably like an A slash B cup type girl. Purple bras, 12 bucks. And then I love the face wash. Like I love face wash. Oh, you're so right. The pharmacy. My bad. The pharmacy. I hate that section.
Sip your frap. Get some Biore pore strips. I know what Allie's section is. I love a sturdy pack of Biore pore strips. Oh, Allie's all about? House and home. Yeah, house and home. Yeah, you can always find me first in the throw pillow section. Oh, my gosh. And then I hit, like, the shower curtains and then, you know, the lamps. I love the back left corner, too, where they do holiday. And then this is the time they've got their outdoor rubs and their string lighting. But what about, can I just ask one? I feel like there is one place, though, where Target is.
like a bait and switch, which is, have you ever spent less than $100 at Target? I never have. Can't figure it out. Can't figure it out. I literally have run in for cotton balls and walked out with a receipt for $487. I can't. And when I get home, I'm packing it like, who the fuck bought this shit? You're high on your Frappuccino and you just look left and right and just snag whatever you can.
Because it feels affordable. This is like, I can get this on my red card for an extra 10%. This is a huge deal. Do you guys have the app? Do you guys have the app? The Target app? There's an app. Oh my God, stop. Oh, Allie, let's fucking hang up on these losers. Talk to me, talk to me. There's a Target app. Go ahead, Kate.
I'm assuming. I actually haven't used it since I was in Charleston, but it lets you know. It's like Target whispering in your ear every day. Yes. This is a deal for you today, Mom. Come on down. I got your 1Ds, $5 for a dollar, whatever. It's whatever it is. You can put a certain item on watch, you guys. Yes. What the fuck? I get an email from Target once a day. Me too, girl. I mean, it's like Tinder. It's like Target Tinder. Target Tinder. Oh, my God. Can you order items and then have them hold them for you to come pick up? Yes. So there's store pickup, right? And that's a huge.
That's awesome in a hurry, or it's a huge, not a scam in Hawaii, but it's awesome because if you go to Target in, say, Missouri, the seventh generation diapers are a lot cheaper there. No doubt. Or just, say, an item, like a rug, a welcome rug. This is the shit that Allie buys. Or a weaving for your wall. It's $5 cheaper online, so you just go to the little app, and then you say, send it to my store, or I want it for store pickup. Brilliant. And you get it for the price.
the online price even if it's in the white store I always save about six dollars you're getting how long does Missouri price is in paradise is what you're telling me exactly dude rules there's loopholes you guys so ladies I need to check in with Sarah because um she is kidless and I want to know what's your opinion on target like just straight up Well, you know, I was thinking about what Kate asked earlier. And Target in New York is just a completely different experience than Target in, say, suburbia. Because it's just, it's hell here. Like, the lines are ridiculous no matter what time of day. Everything's smaller than a triple extra large sold out. Right. Yeah. It's just like every other store in New York. Everything's just picked.
You know, bare. So you can't really find all the stuff that you need. But for sure, when I go home and go to Target, it is like a dream. It's so clean. You were like, Sarah, you want to go to the beach? Oh, I wish I could. I'm sorry, I'm at Target. I'm going to go lay out at Target. I'm going to go get a soft pretzel at Target. Oh, hello. I've got Pizza Hut inside my Target. People eat dinner at Target. You know I've never had it. I actually have barely ever had a Starbucks either, but I appreciate it.
When I go to Target, you guys, it's almost like I'm taking a trip to the mainland. I feel closer to Molly. I feel closer to you guys. I feel closer to my mom. You are connecting with a wider universe. It's true. You are. But that's why I love the app. That's why I love the app. Because the app is like, it's like Westworld. The app is like Target really does become your friend. Target starts texting you. I got your wall tapestry. Call me. So let's talk about our kids and taking our kids to Target. Well, I have a story of, you know.
I mean, I'm sure I'm not alone. My baby, when Augie was a baby, he blew out so hard in Target. In the ergo, but down his leg, up his back, and shooting out the side down my leg. And I had nothing. At that time, I was putting my debit card in the front zipper and just going hands-free and loving life. Probably slipping my cell phone in the front zipper and using earphones, which is probably so bad, I was leaning up against his back. But I had nothing else. So just shit night.
You know, first-time mom, I'm like, okay. I had an opposite reaction than a normal first-time mom because I was so comforted. I'm like, I'm in Target. There's nothing I don't have. There's nothing I cannot do here. Exactly. I just opened a pack of wipes and just started wiping up. Put yourself at home. I did. You sat down right on that threshold couch and you just started wiping up. Just cleaned it up. And now my experience at Target with Augie, he loves it. He relates it to, oh, I'm going to get some Ninja Turtle Band-Aids. And then, you know, when he has to go to the bathroom there, the only problem is he's...
terrified of the self-flushing toilets so we're working on that right now oh wouldn't it be a tragedy if you raised a kid who was terrified of target like that's some fucked up shit yeah that's why we have to on the flip side when you bring your kid to target are they're totally expecting things totally fine with me okay yeah every time yeah as long as it's a small thing yeah we haven't been too far You've gone too far. Phoenix likes to pick out his next checkmark challenge. You know, he'll just be like, oh, this is the ultimate, what I'm going to get. Never. You're like Dream On Kid. There aren't enough checks in the world, buddy. Sorry, Kate, you went too far. Tell us. No, we just, because we don't go there, because we can't go every weekend, every week, because we can only go when we're visiting.
we get so carried away. I mean, we have literally run in for diapers and wipes and walked out with an Xbox before. You know what it is? It sets off a fire in our brain. Like when Jeremy and I go in there, Sarah, everything is so expensive in New York. When we're in Charleston, it's like every day is Black Friday that we are in.
The Target there. My heart's racing, Molly. And I feel like because New York makes you so fucked up in the head, I feel like if we don't buy it, like I'm screaming at Jeremy in the aisles. Like, if we don't buy this right fucking now, like, you know how hard this is to get? Like, I put this in my car to Amazon so many times. And when I tried to check out, it was $700. Like, I'm buying it now. And Jeremy's like, babe, it's $400. I'm like, we need it. That's a deal. That is a deal. That is a deal. Major steal. You know, guys, I feel about Ikea the way you're talking about Target. I hate Ikea. I love it. Sarah, I like it too. I like it too. But it's an undertaking.
But this is such a great childless perspective because imagine Ikea without kids. It is great. Sarah's right. Yeah, that's true. I'm just making my apartment look a little bit neater, organized, and more organized. It's just, right, containers and meatballs. But you have to go on a schlep and it's like a day outing. It's a day event, yeah. Target, you can hit on the way home. Like, ooh, we just need a pick-me-up. Let's pull in. A pick-me-up. So it feels, I have to go back to the emotional needs. Like, we need a pick-me-up. Yeah, no, if you're depressed, seriously, I could just, you know what I need? I need a shower and I need a trip to Target.
Do you know how many times? And I'm going to feel really good. You know, I'm going to get some kind of like a tangerine dish soap and it's all good. I feel good. Exactly. It doesn't take much. I am very pregnant right now and I'm feeling overwhelmed and overworked and I would just pay some money to just go stroll by myself. Molly, I'll take you in the wheelchair and just push you around the aisle. Oh, it wouldn't be the first time. Probably not the last.
Have you ridden those things in Target before? Yes, I've ridden your son around in them. Also, has any of your kids, because my kid has, fallen asleep in the cart? No, never my kid doesn't sleep. With those fucking delights, aisle after aisle of delight, my kids would never. He was younger, but I'm going to have to find the picture.
Do you guys know what the double card is? Yeah, we've got one, Allie. We've got one in Charleston that we love. It's like a double wide and then there's extra seating and it's massive. I mean, massive. I can barely, barely push it and my kids demand it. We don't have it in Allie. You know what's so interesting about the double, Allie, because I've actually thought about this before. I feel like the double, when I think about the target.
When I think about how smart the people at Target are, they could have made that double stadium seating, one in front, one in back, and your car did not need to get any bigger. But Target was like, you know what? Mom's going to come here with two of her kids, and she's going to fucking buy twice as much because I'm about to get this bitch. Let's face them out front. Wow. So your kids are facing away from you?
Oh, yeah. Into the magic, babe. It's like a ride. It's a ride. My kids think it's a ride. It's like a supermarket sweeping. They're like, I'll take this. I'll take this. Throwing it in the cart. And they've got a mom like me who's like, it's so cheap. It's so cheap here. Whatever you want, baby. Whatever you want. Now, I will be like, guys, the toy section's over there. I just need my fucking time. Please. I want to go look at these dishes or whatever. And I pretend like I don't know them. They bounce balls through the whole toy aisle. Yes. And I pretend like I don't know them. But can I give Target a shout out? We once.
And this is not a paid endorsement. This is a true Target story. It sounds like we're being paid for this. I wish. Can Target send us some swag? Thanks. This is also a shout out for my mother-in-law. But we were there once and we saw – so double whammy. Grandma that you don't see every day and you're in Target. So my kids know right away. They're pointing at it and they're getting it. Just how it's going to be. They see – Mavis sees a bike that she wants on the shelf. Holy shit. A little bike. She's like 18 months. So it's like a little radio flyer with a handle. Those little ditties. It's out of stock.
So I'm like, okay, it's out of stock. Moving on. No, my mother-in-law will not disappoint the kids for a million dollars. Gets the manager. Gets the manager to take it off the shelf for her. Then has the manager discounted by 50% because he can't guarantee he knows who put it together. So it might not be 100% safe. My mother-in-law is having him say the words, it might not be safe. And then having him mark it down 50% and he was happy to oblige. She's a genius. No, she really is a genius. That's incredible. That's her secret power. Oh, gosh, guys. We could go on forever about Target. I feel like.
Just to prepare for birth, I just need to go there. I'm going to get my pads, my witch hazel, my baby doll for Augie to prepare him for a little sister. What else? It's better than sex, Molly. You're going to start contracting the moment you walk in. Oh, my God. Okay. I have one more brief story. Okay. Leo has a toy at Target that stays at Target because I'm the bitch mom, right, Kate? We don't get it when we go there. It's called his Elsa. Mom, I need my Elsa. My Elsa. It's a microphone that plays, let it go. Oh, yeah. He turns it on.
He drags the microphone everywhere. And when he was really little, he used to say, sit down, mama, sit down, theme. And we'd have to sit down and he'd put on a show. And people will always say, oh, you better be getting that for him. Like that belongs to him. But I know that it's my tool. And he thinks it stays at Target. And it gets us in and it gets us out. So anyway, it's hilarious. Well, that is a nailing it, which brings me to. Yeah, the old jingle's back. All right. So I'm going to start, you guys. I have a nailing it.
Kind of. My nailing it this week is that in preparation for birth, I got waxed at nine months pregnant. Wow. The failing it is that it was so painful. I could just cry thinking about it on the butt, you guys. It gave me a dry heave reaction. And I had to be on all fours with my head down on the table.
But you know what? I did it. People are like, oh, you didn't want your midwives to see. I'm like, no. I want an easy cleanup afterwards. We've had that episode. Right. Yeah, that's it. Who's next? I've got one.
My nailing it is, oh, we got a new puppy. My failing it is, we got a new puppy. Oh, my gosh. So many animals. So it's already shitting a little bit just when I thought I was in the clear with potty training. I'm just getting out of the woods of that. So we're dealing with that, but it's cute as hell, and his name is Hawk, and he's really sweet. Aw, congrats. Wow, you sound like an animal lover. Allie, he's going to be a true sibling for your sons. Yeah, absolutely. That does not sound like a compliment when it's coming out of your mouth. It wasn't. It wasn't, but she's going to be an animal lover.
Those who don't be on this podcast already know where she's coming from on that. You're raising a couple of Mowgli's. They needed a dog. It's only right. That's so true. Okay, guys. I have a failing. Failing. I had a cough for about four weeks. Stubborn, not going to the doctor. Finally went to the doctor. And turns out I had pneumonia the whole time. Aw, baby. But my nailing is that I'm 18 weeks pregnant. What?
Too down, baby. Too down on this podcast. We are holding children in our bellies. That is fucking awesome. And I'm so glad you just announced that to our listeners. That wraps it up. That's just the best news ever. I'm so excited to go more into that. So, everybody, keep an ear out for us. We will be back in the next couple of weeks. Check us out on Twitter. And rate us.
And what else, Katie? Rate us on iTunes, you guys. A little review would be awesome. And subscribe. All that. All of that. And send me five bucks to spend at Target. We'll see you guys in the aisles. Bullseye. See you next week for another nursing nursing where sleep is more valuable than fast, hard cash.