The Apple (1980) - Because You Watched Starcrash

“And you can stick it anywhere!” The Distinguished Professors take a big, sloppy bite out of the infamous 1980 movie musical The Apple! Topics discussed include the dystopian future of 1994, the doing of the BIM, this movie’s insistent heterosexuality running against the disruptive queerness of the musical, contrast with The Rocky Horror Picture Show (released the previous year), the potential future musical season of your favorite podcast, the critique of capitalism and the music industry, parallels with Xanadu and the Village People musical, Alphie’s suckiness, yet another connection to Showgirlsand every other movie about the film industry, comparison to Across the Universe, the awfulness of “How to Be a Master” and “Showbizness,” the East German airport dance number, the musical origins of modern gay pop culture in Wizard of Oz, the hard limits of what this movie shows us sex-wise, possible influence on Zoolander, the return of the sparkly-bearded bad guy, the excessiveness of Shake, the laziness of the cinematography and editing, the slapdash ending and the lack of real consequences, the redemptive power of Alphie’s seed, a parallel between Interscope Records and Golan and Globus’s Cannon Films, an extended callout to David Sirota’s Back to Our Futureand this movie’s mistimed nostalgia for the 1960s, multiple Poochie references, a comparison to the similar treatment of 1980s selfishness in Wonder Woman 1984, and people’s stunning inability to plan for the mandatory BIM exercise period.