PODCAST · comedy
Because You Watched Starcrash
by Michael Vanderpool
One night I started watching a movie called Starcrash... then this happened. We watch all kinds of movies and have a good time talking about them. We discuss the most important parts of the films including quotes and WTF moments!
Episodes
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Movie Podcast: The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call: New Orleans (2009) | Because You Watched Starcrash!
“What are you acting all crazy for?”The Nicolas-athon Cage-athon continues with our first Werner Herzog joint, The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call: New Orleans: Can We Possibly Fit Any More Colons into This Title? Topics discussed include the Millenium Films catalog, the film-ness of this film,...
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The Family Man (2000) & The Massive Weight of Unbearable Talent (2022) - Because You Watched Starcrash!
“I cried throughout the entire thing. It made me want to be a better man.” We’re at the end of an era, folks. The Nicolas Cage season of Because You Watched Starcrash draws to a close with our obligatory holiday movie and a spectacular piece of metafiction. Your Distinguished Professors and…
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Vampire's Kiss (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash
Vampire’s Kiss (1988) “You’re in the goddamn crapper, Loew, and I’m trying to take a dump. So either shut up and leave the acting lessons for home or go back to the ladies’ room.” Is it a deft American Psycho-level satire, a taut supernatural or psychological thriller, or insane, ridiculous crap?...
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The Lost Empire (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Where’s Conan when you need him?” The distinguished professors discuss Jim Wynorski’s The Lost Empire and continue to do this profit-turning genius appropriate homage. Topics include trying to figure out what genre this film fits into, comparison with Fu Manchu, its Producers-like origins,...
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Because You Watched Starcrash - Ho-Ho-Holiday Special 2023 Hallmark Movies!
Ho-Ho-Hallmark Holiday Special A Christmas Wedding Tail (2011), A Christmas Melody (2015), and Christmas Mail (2010) “Don’t worry, I’m a city girl. This small town is not for me.” Welcome to our 2023 Holiday Special, in which your three Distinguished Professors move from the big city to a small...
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Willy's Wonderland (2021) - Because You Watched Starcrash
Willy's Wonderland (2021) - Because You Watched Starcrash
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Peggy Sue Got Married (1986) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“I had a miserable time tonight because of you.” It’s our first Francis Ford Coppola joint on Because You Watched Starcrash! And Kathleen Turner! Oh, and some other guy who was once named Coppola is in it, too. Your Distinguished Professors watched an early entry in the Nicholas Cage-verse, Peggy...
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The Wicker Man (2006) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“This is a story whose chapters were carefully written.” In their ongoing exploration of the filmography of one Nicolas “Jor-El” Cage, the Distinguished Professors have watched the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man, which has 100% less depth and 1000% fewer boobs (don’t check my math) than the...
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Ho-Ho-Holiday Special III – GI Joe: A Real American HeroEpisode 1:39, “Cobra Claws are Coming to Town” (1985) and He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985)
Ho-Ho-Holiday Special III – GI Joe: A Real American HeroEpisode 1:39, “Cobra Claws are Coming to Town” (1985) and He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985) “Well, I don’t like to feel good. I like to feel EVIL!” Your Distinguished Professors have prepared quite the holiday treat – we’re going...
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Back to the Future I, II, & III - Because You Watched Starcrash
Back to the Future(1985), Back to the Future Part II (1989), and Back to the Future Part III (1990) “What are you looking at, Butthead?” In an amazing finale, your time-traveling Distinguished Professors end their journey with the Back to the Future trilogy! Topics discussed include Back to the...
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Action Replayy (2010) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“And if anything happens to the rose plants in my absence, then I will send you to hell.” This week your Distinguished Professors take their first trip to Bollywood with the Back to the Future ripoff/ homage Action Replayy! Singing! Dancing! Subtitles! A super-hot mom! Topics discussed include…
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Warlock (1989) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Thou art to be hanged, and then burned over a basket of living cats.” Your Distinguished Witchhunting Professors cross wits with the insane occult time travel movie Warlock! And since no witch can cross no consecrated ground, they discuss the first of our magical time travel movies and a…
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2022 Gory-Hole Special - Because You Watched Starcrash
“You don’t need a stretcher up there – you need a mop!” Just in time for the very most spookiest part of the year, your favorite Distinguished Professors discuss the films that established the slasher movie genre – Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street – in their...
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Time After Time (1979) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“My mother was a rather atrocious woman in her way, but her many failings did not include raising mentally deficient sons.” Your intrepid Distinguished Professors unwittingly fall once again into the horrid clutches of Corey Feldman in 1979’s Time After Time, featuring a sexy and villainous David...
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 (1993) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Big mistake, dude!” Your Distinguished Professors tackle a movie that temporarily killed a franchise and that isn’t X-Men 3! We suffered through the joyless simulation of a movie that is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, so now you have to listen to us chat about it! It’s only fair! Topics...
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Buck Rogers: The Plot to Kill a City (1979) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Beeee-dee beedee – what a fox!” In this memorial episode, the Distinguished Professors pay homage to TV bombshell Markie Post, another of the honored fallen of 2021, by watching a two-part episode of the disco sci-fi epic Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, “The Plot to Kill a City”! Topics covered...
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Time Runner (1993) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Christ! I’m getting tired of this guy!” This week your Distinguished Professors continue their run through time travel cinema with 1993’s Mark Hamill vehicle Time Runner! Topics discussed include the alternate title, its setting in 2022 (the future is now!!!!), why you just can’t trust a guy…
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Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel (2009) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Time travel. It’ll turn your brain into spaghetti if you let it. Best not to think about it.” This week your Distinguished Professors grab some pints and go full-on Imagineer with the British science fiction comedy epic Frequently Asked Questions about Time Travel! So let’s all call Hollywood…
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Mazes and Monsters (1982) - Because You Watch Starcrash
“Beware of the sacrilege!” This week your Distinguished Professors enjoy a film with Tom Hanks, fresh off his days of bosoming and buddying and on the cusp of a noteworthy acting career: the D&D-sploitation movie Mazes and Monsters! Roll for initiative as we discuss the sad fact that two-thirds…
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Trancers (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Dry hair’s for squids.” This week the Distinguished Professors dive deeply into the work of auteur Charles Band with the time travel adventure of future-noir tough guy Jack Deth in 1984’s Trancers! Topics covered include forbidden early forays into porn-watching, connections to Quantum Leap, the...
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Primer (2004) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Then there were days, good days, when by anyone’s judgment they would have to be considered clever.” The Distinguished Professors get serious with their time travel with 2004’s Primer, an intense independent cinematic experience involving 20-something engineers in suburban Texas entering and...
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Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Well, double-dumbass on you!” The Distinguished Professors travel at warp speed into their time travel adventures with an impromptu episode right after a theater showing of Star Trek IV! Topics discussed include Clink’s review of basic time travel theory, Trek time travel’s creation of alternate...
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Showgirls (1995) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“He says, ‘In America, everyone is a gynecologist.’” You’ve been waiting. You’ve been wanting. And now we’re going to give it to you. Distinguished Professors. Verhoeven. Showgirls. Topics covered include Berres’s first bad movie ka-tet (hat tip to Dave and Jessica), the pointlessness of the VH-1...
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Ernest Saves Christmas (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“It’s time for the Three Musketeers to saddle up and ride to glory, KnoWhutImean?” To save Christmas 2021 from the triple threat of a COVID-19 variant that sounds like a Transformer, a dire shortage of cream cheese, and general malaise, your beloved Distinguished Professors bring you the 1988...
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Earth Girls Are Easy (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Oh, Wiploc, I think I’ll miss you least of all.” On this outing your Distinguished Professors crash land in the backyard swimming pool of 1988’s Earth Girls are Easy! Topics discussed include a rival Dr. Love, the omnipresence of this movie on Comedy Central back in the day, this podcast as a...
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Bubba Ho-tep (2003) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“I think you know what I’m getting at, Mr. President. We’re gonna kill us a mummy.” In this thrilling installment of Because You Watched Starcrash, your Distinguished Professors wade ass-deep into danger with 2003’s Bubba Ho-tep! Topics discussed include Soul Man, the director’s writing credit on...
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Three O’Clock High (1987) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Pain is temporary – film is forever.” Your favorite Distinguished Professors have a showdown with the best and weirdest of the 80s teen movies, Three O’Clock High! Topics covered include the insane opening sequence, comparison with Better Off Dead, connections to Back to the Future and Black...
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The Fantastic Four (1994) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“That’s for trying to kill me! That’s for trying to kill my friends! And that’s for being a real jerk!” The Distinguished Professors endure cosmic ray bombardment through laughably-absent safety measures to watch Roger Corman’s copywrite-maintaining placeholder, The Fantastic Four! Topics include...
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The Apple (1980) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“And you can stick it anywhere!” The Distinguished Professors take a big, sloppy bite out of the infamous 1980 movie musical The Apple! Topics discussed include the dystopian future of 1994, the doing of the BIM, this movie’s insistent heterosexuality running against the disruptive queerness of…
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The Ice Pirates (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“I hope no one minds, but I have no intention of facing this sober.” The Distinguished Professors engage in some Errol Flynn-style hijinks and privateering in search of the solidified state of water with the 1984 movie The Ice Pirates! Topics covered include a water as a post-apocalypse MacGuffin...
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Cyborg (1989) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“I like the death. I like the misery! I LIKE THIS WORLD!” This week the Distinguished Professors go back in time to the golden era of the career of Belgian dance-brawler and split-doer Jean-Claude Van Damme and watch Cyborg, a movie consisting entirely of slow-motion fighting and screaming.…
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Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“You have aroused the three snakes!” This week the Distinguished Professors watch Rowdy Roddy Piper as the fertile meathead of the future in Hell Comes to Frogtown! Topics covered include a post-post apocalypse movie, the best action movie hero name ever (Sam Hell), identifying the accurate level...
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The Gay Deceivers (1969) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“I just think it’s a bit much.” The Distinguished Professors celebrate Pride Month by watching The Gay Deceivers, released mere months after Stonewall. Topics covered include Flatrock Distillery, Ted Nugent’s plan to avoid Vietnam, Elliot’s status as a gigolo, Michael Greer’s role in saving this...
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Tank Girl (1995) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Feeling a little inadequate?” Join the Distinguished Professors on yet another post-apocalyptic encounter with the riot grrrl version of Mad Max, Tank Girl! Topics discussed include Shirley getting above his station, British sci fiction comics’ tendency to be set in not-Britain, offensive…
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She (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“I have mastered your god! Accept me! Now!” This week your favorite Distinguished Professors confront the Italian 1984 Sandahl Bergman vehicle and H. Rider Haggard re-envisioning She! Discussion topics include the distinct lack of Haggard’s version of She in this version, the racism and…
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Zardoz (1974) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“The monster is a mirror, and when we look at him, we look into our own hidden faces.” Today the Distinguished Professors do that which all lovers of movies of questionable quality must do: we watched Zardoz, the movie that made the world endure Sean Connery’s excessive hairiness spilling out of…
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Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) – Part 2
“Everyone, this is Alfred. I work for him.” Welcome back to Because You Watched Starcrash’s extended exploration of Zack Snyder’s really long movie! You demanded it, and fanboys, you’re gonna get it. Topics covered include Vanderpool’s inability to use anything resembling human grammar to open…
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Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) Part 1 - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Oh, you’re good. You almost had me.” The Distinguished Professors share their thoughts on the fanboy-demanded Snyder Cut of Justice League. Topics covered include the awful Justice League of America tvpilot that we covered in Season 2, a very brief reminder of good stuff Joss Whedon created in…
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Natural Born Killers (1994) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“Whole world’s comin’ to an end, Mal.” The Distinguished Professors give into fate and face off against Oliver Stone’s crazed take on the Bonnie and Clyde story, Natural Born Killers. Topics include the mystery of Owen, the symbolic end of our world and the beginning of a new one, apocalypse as...
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Dune (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash
Dune (1984) “My name is a killing word.” This week the Distinguished Professors discuss David Lynch’s visionary tour de something, Dune. Topics discussed include josting, Clink’s babyface status, the movie’s ambitious failures, the nature of spice, parallels with The Lion King, Toto’s…
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Turbo Kid (2015) - Because You Watched Starcrash
Follow us on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/BecauseYouWatchedStarcrash Turbo Kid – 2015 “This is my weapon! This is my gnome stick!” Fresh off of Mad Max, the Distinguished Professors (and their producer) dive into the totes-80s Quebecois awesomeness of Turbo Kid. It’s the far future of 1997,...
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Dragnet (1987) - Because You Watched Starcrash
R.I.P. The Emperor, aka Christopher Plummer. We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this bonus episode where Dr. Allen Berres, Michael Clink, and Mike Vanderpool discussed the 1987 masterpiece - Dragnet! “We believe bad sex and good drugs are the cornerstones of a great...
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Mad Max (1979) - Because You Watched Starcrash
Mad Max – 1979 “Larger than life and twice as ugly!” Welcome back to Season 3 of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash! This season, mirroring the collapse of whole damn world, is focused on apocalypse movies! Joining the Distinguished Professors is JC Shirley, our new producer and a podcaster...
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The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash
Michael Clink recommended this movie whose name is way too long! To conserve oxygen, we'll just call it Buckaroo Banzai! Dr. Allen Berres and Michael Vanderpool join Mr. Clink in exploring the theory that Jeff Goldbloom makes everything better! Mentioned in this podcast: Jean Gray Ms. Marvel Emma...
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Justice League of America (1997) - Because You Watched Starcrash
What Dr. Allen Berres identifies as a "painful watch," daresay the most horrible film we have watched so far - the TV movie spectacular Justice League of America! Let's see if Michael Vanderpool and Michael Clink agree! Mentioned in this episode: Friday - The Movie Batman Justice League of…
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Darkman (1990) - Because You Watched Starcrash
Dr. Allen Berres subjects us to the Sam Rami "Spider-Man prequel"! He is joined by Michael Vanderpool and Michael Clink into Liam Neeson's foray into superhero stardom! Mentioned in this podcast: Liam Neeson Sigourney Weaver Darkman Sam Raimi Spider-Man Tim Burton Batman Danny Elfman Tobey…
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Black Scorpion (1995) - Because You Watched Starcrash
In this episode, Michael Vanderpool, Michael Clink, and Dr. Allen Berres discuss the 1995 Roger Corman production - Black Scorpion. Join our dynamic trio in the superhero spectacular a person in a mask and a black suit fights crime in a dark and dingy city. And no, it's not Batman! Mentioned in...
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Ho-Ho-Holiday Special 2020 Because You Watched Starcrash
In this episode, we discuss the Staw Wars Holiday Special and Satan Clause Conquers the Martians!
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Robocop (1987) & The Crow (1994) - Because You Watched Starcrash
In this episode, the three amigos discuss Detroit's Dynamic Duo of superhero/revenge films - Robocop and The Crow. Mentioned in this episode: Paul Verhoeven Showgirls Saved By The Bell A Star Is Born Starship Troopers Brandon Lee Rapid Fire Grindhouse Frank Miller Arnold Schwarzenegger Sylvester...
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Blankman (1994) - Because You Watched Starcrash
Welcome to Season 2 of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash! This is the Superhero Season, where the Intrepid Explorers Mike Vanderpool, Allen Berres, and Michael “Clinker” Clink watch some classic and not-so-classic superhero movies. This episode is about the not-so-classic superhero movie...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
One night I started watching a movie called Starcrash... then this happened. We watch all kinds of movies and have a good time talking about them. We discuss the most important parts of the films including quotes and WTF moments!
HOSTED BY
Michael Vanderpool
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How many episodes does Because You Watched Starcrash have?
Because You Watched Starcrash currently has 63 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Because You Watched Starcrash about?
One night I started watching a movie called Starcrash... then this happened. We watch all kinds of movies and have a good time talking about them. We discuss the most important parts of the films including quotes and WTF moments!
How often does Because You Watched Starcrash release new episodes?
Because You Watched Starcrash has 63 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Because You Watched Starcrash?
You can listen to Because You Watched Starcrash on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Because You Watched Starcrash?
Because You Watched Starcrash is created and hosted by Michael Vanderpool.
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