The Architecture of the Void

For the description notes here, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that “self-love” is a perfect replacement for romantic love. It absolutely is not.I miss intimacy. I miss the romance. I miss the sexual encounter that is actually connected to a soul. But I refuse to settle for the “messy, toxic, superficial” scraps that are currently being served.Hyper-independence is my fortress. I am the only source of my own joy. And while the fortress can be quiet, it is clean. There is no limerence here. There is no “processing” of someone else’s obsession with a third party. There is just my work, my children, and my peace.If the cards say I am destined never to be romantically loved, then I will be the most sovereign, most intellectual, most “Heroic” unloved woman you’ve ever seen.Because at the end of the day, I’d rather be alone in my integrity than be “important” to a man who only sees me as an agent or an ally.As always, thank you for listening to the Mind of Sai Marie. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit saimarie.substack.com