Jeff Kaplan: Getting a Stalled High-Conflict Divorce Moving

The people who drag a divorce out are usually not trying to win it. They are trying to wear the other side down and run the cost up until that person settles for less than they should. Jeff Kaplan sees it constantly, and he says most of the stalling happens in one place: discovery.Jeff Kaplan is the managing partner of J. Kaplan & Associates, a matrimonial and family law firm in Manhattan that handles high-conflict divorce and post-judgment matters. He started out working alongside former prosecutors in criminal defense, took on a heavy load of domestic violence and trial work, and carried that courtroom experience into matrimonial law. He describes himself as a legal plumber, and much of his week is spent unclogging cases that have stopped moving.In this episode, Jeff and Lisa work through why high-conflict cases stall and what actually moves them. He explains the "unclean hands" problem, why the parent who complies fully with discovery ends up in the stronger position, and how to give a motion real consequences: not just a motion to compel, but to strike pleadings, seek contempt, and ask for attorney's fees. They talk about choosing a lawyer with trial experience, and why that lawyer, not the loudest one in the room, is the one who gets a case settled.They also cover using mediation as leverage, the bad facts every case carries and how to handle the late-night emails a client wishes they had never sent, why a judge's view of your credibility can decide custody, and the steps a stuck case needs. Now, Jeff says, is a good time to push, with courts working through a backlog and trial judges eager to move older cases off their dockets.As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.🎓 What you'll learnWhy high-conflict cases stall in discovery, and the motions that force them forwardWhy you comply fully with discovery even when your ex will not (the "unclean hands" problem)How to put teeth in a motion: strike pleadings, seek contempt, ask for attorney's feesWhy trial experience in your lawyer is what actually gets a case settledHow to use mediation as leverage by preparing as if for trialWhat "bad facts" are, and how to mitigate the emails and texts you regretWhy a judge's read on your credibility as a witness can decide a custody caseConcrete steps to restart a case that has been languishing on the calendar⏱️ Chapters 0:00 Intro 1:00 Meet Jeff Kaplan, the "legal plumber" 3:00 Why high-conflict cases stall: the moneyed spouse and discovery 7:00 Unclean hands: why you comply fully even when they don't 9:00 Motions with teeth, and why a "pit bull" reputation backfires 11:00 Hiring a lawyer: trial experience is what makes a case settle 13:00 Mediation as leverage: prepare like it's trial 17:00 The rules of evidence, and an unprepared adversary 19:00 Bad facts you cannot change, and how to mitigate them 23:00 Credibility, and how best interest is decided in New York 25:00 Getting a stalled case moving without babysitting your lawyerKeep going 💜 Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call 📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X 📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183About Been There Got Out Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.