The challenge of positive body language

We’ve been encouraged to embrace active listening. Sure. But we need to be genuine, not engaging in actions or behaviors that aren’t ours.  It’s not helpful to adopt gestures that we have been told to use, yet feel foreign to us.        Not only do you run the risk that I will see through your acting, but some of your focus will be devoted to the acting – not to the actual listening.        What should we do?        Of course, look at someone when they are speaking, but don’t stare them down.         Of course, listen – with patience. With the right level of eagerness.         Yes, nod your head when you are understanding the point someone is making.  (Which is not necessarily the same as agreeing.) But don’t fake it. Faking positive body language is similar to faking an apology. Neither is a good idea.