The Christian Working Woman - Male/Female Relationships on the Job – II

It’s true that because of our natural tendency to be attracted to the opposite sex and because of the amount of time spent with coworkers on a daily basis, an attraction may very well occur on our jobs. Most of us have seen this happen or have experienced it ourselves. What does a Christian do when she or he feels an attraction to a coworker or senses a coworker is attracted to her or him? The very first moment you have any inkling this may be happening, ask yourself one critical question: Is either of you married? If the answer to that question is “yes,” your course of action is very simple and clear. It may not be easy, but it certainly is simple and uncomplicated. Biblical principles leave no room for debate or discussion on this issue: The marriage vows are sacred and in no circumstance is there ever a justification for a married person to have a relationship with someone else. That means you cannot allow any intimate words or feelings or looks or innuendoes to be exchanged between you and this other person. That is it! Final! If it means changing jobs or asking to be transferred, do it. There is no middle ground for a true Christ-follower. The answer is the same even if one of the people involved is experiencing a difficult marriage. Many times, people tend to justify illegitimate relationships by rationalizing that one or both of them is in a very unhappy marriage. The condition of the marriage in no way changes the principle by which Christians should abide. As Christians we should do everything possible to help hurting marriages find healing. Allowing a relationship to develop with a person whose marriage is shaky will do just the opposite. And let me warn you these attractions can happen even to people who have good marriages, even to singles who aren’t looking for a relationship. We all are vulnerable to the chemistry of male/female relationships, and we must be on our guard at all times. In today’s society I’m certain such a position appears to be very drastic, legalistic, eccentric, and inflexible. But that’s because we have become so infiltrated with the world’s philosophy, that basic Christian principles now appear archaic, even to some Christians. Remember, God’s principles work. While they are ageless, they are not outdated; they are there for our benefit. All of us could tell of people we know or perhaps our own experience where many lives have been harmed and ruined by disobeying this Christian principle. The thing we should remember is these sinful relationships are rarely planned. They just happen when the people involved fail to see the warning signs and stop it in the early stages. If you’re attracted to someone with whom you work, or he or she is attracted to you, and either of you is married, you don’t even need to pray about what you should do. When God’s Word gives a clear answer, there is no need to ask for special guidance. He will never lead us individually in a direction that is contrary to his written Word. You need to pray for wisdom and strength to do the right thing. Let me also advise you to take drastic and definite action. Don’t play “around the edges;” if you do, you’re truly playing with fire. If you think you can have long talks, quiet lunches, or innocent encounters without ever allowing it out of bounds, you don’t understand chemistry too well or you have too much confidence in yourself. Don’t be fooled by rationalizing you are just being a good friend. Many times, illegitimate relationships begin because one of those involved is a good listener. How many times have I heard a woman say, “He didn’t have anyone else he could talk with. I was the only friend he had, and I just couldn’t be unkind to him.” If he needs help and counseling, you are the wrong person to give it. That excuse just will not hold water. There is no good reason for you to ever allow a wrong relationship to develop. And keep this in mind: