The Confidence Myth: Rethinking Leadership Mindset and Influence for Women in STEM - 035

In this solo reflection episode of Launch It Leaders, host ⁠Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya⁠⁠⁠⁠ tackles one of the most frustrating and overused pieces of feedback given to women in leadership: "Be more confident."Who is this for?This episode is for mid-career to senior women in STEM (Director, VP level, and above) tired of receiving vague feedback like "be more confident."It is for leaders ready to stop guessing, identify specific skill gaps, and take actionable steps to maximize their potential and take ownership of their careers.Memorable Quotes with Timestamps:[01:18] "There is one phrase that feels like advice but gives you nothing to walk with: 'be more confident.'"[03:23] "The reason that it keeps coming up is not because it is helpful, but because it's vague enough to mean everything and nothing at the same time."[04:04] "Confidence is not a thing that you either have or you don't have... It's not a personality trait that you were born with or that you missed out on."[04:40] "Confidence, real confidence, the kind that changes how a room receives you, is a byproduct of some kind of activity, of taking action on something."[05:25] "The villain is not anything else. It is the confidence myth... The idea that if you could just feel more sure of yourself, that everything will change. It will not."[08:06] "You see, none of these are confidence problems. They're specific. They're identifiable. They're solvable gaps between what the situation needed from you and what you gave it."[08:48] "Being more confident will not necessarily teach you how to slow down when everything in you wants to speed up."[11:58] "Stop asking, 'how do I become more confident?' and start asking 'what specifically do I need to work on to build my confidence?'"[13:12] "Awareness is the first and most important step to incredible transformation."Key Takeaways:The Problem with "Be More Confident." Adaeze explains this feedback is unhelpful because it lacks specificity. When managers use this phrase, they recognize a misalignment in how you're showing up, but lack the precision to tell you what needs fixing. It leaves you trying to fix a feeling rather than a skill.Confidence is a Byproduct. Confidence isn't something you're born with, nor is it built in isolation through positive thinking. Real confidence is the byproduct of taking action. It happens when your preparation, knowledge, and ability to read the room work together effectively.Identify the Real Skill Gaps. When you shrink in a room, talk too fast, or stumble over a question, it's not a lack of confidence. It's a specific, solvable skill gap. You might need to learn how to read the room, handle silence, deal with pushback, or utilize the power of the pause.Action Over Affirmations. While mindset matters, action matters more. You cannot positive-think your way into knowing how to handle pushback. You build confidence by identifying the specific skill you lack and intentionally practicing it until it becomes second nature.Next Steps for Leaders. Adaeze offers a free 5-minute "Leadership Edge" assessment to identify gaps. She invites mid-to-senior women in STEM to book an Authority Shift Strategy Call to create an actionable plan for their next career move.Resources⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Leadership Edge Diagnostic⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Book a Strategy Call with Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow African Women in STEM on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow African Women in STEM on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the African Women in STEM Membership⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Visit the African Women in STEM Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Watch Adaeze Iloeje-Udeogalanya's ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TEDX Talk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠