The Dead Names #18: Kai Dakota Khan

Kai Dakota Khan was a trans identified 18 year old college freshman woman living in Kansas. She had attempted suicide previously, around the start of her freshman year, but just six months later, she was on her own, living in a Barton Community College dorm when she ended her life in one of the most brutal ways imaginable: sodium nitrite ingestion. She used a method she'd obtained from a website aimed at encouraging and sharing methods for suicide. She was in the phone with her mother immediately prior, but did not mention her plan. She left a note, according to Kristi, who read it in a video reproduced below.One of Kai’s friends described the previous suicide attempt.Kristi admits that Kai sought out and ordered poison for the purposes of ending his life, and notified someone at the site that she was going to take the poison on a specific day.Here she discusses the website, called Sanctioned Suicide, more in-depth. This site provided him means and encouragement, after Kai sought out this assistance.She did all this despite how truly terrible her first ICU visit had been six months previously.She was intent upon dying. Going off the testosterone was not an option. Dropping out was not an option. Telling her mother was not an option. She was a very mentally ill, substance-affected individual who did a very mentally ill, substance-affected individual type of thing. The full note video:Rest in peace, Kai. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit exulansic.substack.com/subscribe