The Dot in the Center

This life is not easyAnd sometimes it is so hard and confusing as to be unbearableBig thingsAll around usAnd some days it’s just too muchI’ve been feeling this in my own lifeAnd witnessing it in many othersAnd for all of the resourcingAnd all of the self-regulation I practiceIt does not go awayThese resources do not ‘solve’ anythingThey sootheSoftenMake me more able to bring a mature, caring heartTo what would otherwise be existential panicThey slow me downAnd offer a larger contextBut they are no bypassAnd the pain is there to be feltAddressedProcessedAnd I trust one day resolvedBut I have to meet it as it isNot in the promise of it becoming something elseToday I went and watched ‘planet earth’ to soothe myselfYou know, bask in the majesty of natureAnd let me tell you, it did not workLife is a challenge all up and down the lineAnd sometimes the mystery, while full of marvels and beauty, feels brutalWe are truly in exhausting timesThis week I’ve had several friends experiencing existential hardshipWonderful, intelligent, caring peopleFor whom this moment of life includes incredible difficultyThat is real and present and hard to parseAnd suddenly it became clear to meThey are, we areThe dot in the yin yang symbol, or the taichiA point of light, surrounded by its oppositeA seed of one in a sea of the otherHolding an incredibly important roleBut feeling so very out of placeSeemingly separate from the wave of its likenessSharing in its qualities and integrityBut feeling so lonelyEven though we know we’re togetherIt shows how much we need each others’ active careHow no one can go it aloneBecause no matter how resourced,Sometimes it feels like we are utterly by ourselvesAnd that idea itself needs careFeeling separate from the larger wave is hardBut that larger wave truly is a source of sustenanceAnd the taichi represents energy in motionThis is a moment, a seasonAnd in this season, our energy may be surrounded by its oppositeIt won’t always be that wayBut it’s hard to be availableTo the breathTo the bodyTo each otherWhen we’re swimming in uncertaintyCrueltyOr an impossible diagnosisStill, our being expresses our natureEven in a sea of its oppositeAnd that is strongBraveHolding our ownEven as everything is pressing down around itIf you’re in the wave right now,Commit that feeling of connectedness to memoryFeel your power and the power around youAnd ground in your nature and resourcesAnd if you’re feeling like the dotRememberLife is in motion‘No feeling is final’andYou are not alone This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com