The Father Wound: Grief, Approval & Building Your Inner Daddy with Dr. Karima Joy

What is the father wound, and how does it quietly shape our identity, relationships, confidence, and need for approval? In Part 1 of our Father Wound series, host Julienne Irons sits down with social scientist and psychotherapist Dr. Karima Joy for a compassionate, grounded exploration of paternal absence, emotional neglect, and the hidden grief of what didn’t happen. This conversation reframes the father wound not as blame, but as ambiguous loss — the grief of something we needed but never received. Dr. Joy explains how many fathers were emotionally shut down due to trauma, patriarchy, poverty, war, or survival, creating what she calls an inheritance of “emotional and spiritual bankruptcy.” Together, we explore: What the father wound actually is Why “they did the best they could” can shut down healing How approval-seeking, overworking, hyper-independence, addictions, and anxious-avoidant relationships connect to father wounds The science of intergenerational trauma and gene expression Why the longing to be chosen, guided, seen, and protected is a core human need How to develop a “healthy inner father” or “inner daddy” Reparenting through neuroplasticity and repeated practice The difference between healing and bypassing Why awareness must come before forgiveness How to upgrade your inner default settings Dr. Joy introduces the concept of cultivating your own grounded, protective, discerning inner father energy — one that builds boundaries, integrity, accountability, courage, and self-trust brick by brick. If you’ve spent your life searching for approval, direction, or validation outside yourself, this episode will help you begin bringing that energy home. Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome to Father Wound 08:09 Defining the Father Wound 16:56 Intergenerational Trauma Science 22:06 Adult Patterns & Coping 37:38 Building Your Inner Daddy 50:28 Healthy Father Energy Qualities 56:37 Awareness Before Quick Fixes 01:00:41 Compassionate Self-Reparenting Next week: Somatic therapist Stella Dove joins us to explore how the father wound lives in the body and nervous system.   Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here: Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ 🙌🏽 Connect with Dr. Karima Joy here: Instagram: dr.karimajoy  Website: karimajoy.com  Substack: https://thelivingthreshold.substack.com/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karimajoy/ Grief Education Program: https://cpl.oise.utoronto.ca/program_certificate/grief-education/ Kids Book: https://www.amazon.ca/Fierce-Franci-Guide-Tending-Sacred/dp/1777470900