The Grief I Didn't Get to Have with Joanna Stokinger

Joanna Stokinger spent over twenty years as a homicide victim advocate, guiding families through unimaginable loss. Then in 2021, she got the call that made her one of them. Her six-week-old grandson, Anthony, died from abusive head trauma, and Joanna found herself on the other side of the work she'd built her career on. The grieving grandmother who still had to be the advocate in the room.Sherry and Joanna talk about what happens when the work you trained for your whole life becomes your own life. Why grief after homicide doesn't move in a straight line. What a trauma-informed advocate does, and the damage done when there isn't one. And the grandson Joanna still hasn't fully grieved, because she came back to work to train other advocates and change how survivors are met on the worst day of their lives.This conversation goes somewhere unexpected.TIMESTAMPS:0:00 - Intro1:52 - Inside the Maine Resiliency Center6:15 - The call that changed everything15:42 - Why homicide grief isn't linear25:41 - What to say to someone in grief35:50 - The grief she couldn't have39:15 - Learning to put herself first46:26 - What resilience actually looks like55:51 - Soft power, grace, and growthMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Maine Resiliency Center: https://www.maineresiliencycenter.org/Parents of Murdered Children: https://www.pomc.org/"Remarkably Bright Creatures" by Shelby Van PeltABOUT JOANNA STOKINGER:Joanna Stokinger spent more than two decades in victim advocacy and criminal justice, working homicide cases at the Maine Attorney General's office. In 2021, the loss of her grandson made her a surviving family member of the kind she'd spent her career supporting. She is now Lead Advocate and Navigator at the Maine Resiliency Center and co-leads the Maine chapter of Parents of Murdered Children.Leave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.me/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramWould you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form. See you there~