The Hidden Crisis in Male Sexuality with Sam Jolman

Is male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie?In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequences.Whether you're a man trying to understand your sexual story, a woman wondering why your partner shuts down, or a therapist supporting clients through sexual trauma recovery, this episode will reshape how you think about intimacy, identity, and embodiment.You’ll learn:Why men were taught to fear their sexuality and how that harms everyoneHow emotional disconnection sabotages intimacy in marriageWhy “lust” isn’t the real problem (and what is)The difference between consumption and connectionHow the Church has often failed men by oversimplifying their struggleWhat healthy, heart-connected sexuality - the poetics of sex - actually looks like Why healing is possible, even after trauma, shame, or years of struggleThis is the conversation we should’ve had decades ago, but it’s not too late. Men were made for more than performance. They were made for love, tenderness, and true intimacy. It’s time to reclaim that.🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS → Sam Jolman’s book: The Sex Talk You Never Got - https://amzn.to/4ogAohx → Sam’s website: https://www.samjolman.com/CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome to Hey Tabi 01:20 Meet Sam Jolman & his journey 05:23 Purity culture myths & male shame 08:47 Mechanics vs Poetics of Sex 13:37 Healthy masculinity & emotional intimacy 20:41 Marriage, trauma & knowing your partner 29:43 Pornography exposure as harm 35:10 How men connect emotionally 41:59 Why safe touch and community matter 50:10 The church’s silent role in sexual harm 56:33 Reclaiming pleasure, play & healingWanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.