Hey Tabi!

If you’ve been hurt by the church, struggled to trust God again, or felt confused about what’s true… you are not alone.In this powerful conversation, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Rachel Clinton Chen from The Allender Center to unpack:🚩 What spiritual abuse actually is (and why it’s so hard to name)🚩 How abuse distorts your view of God, yourself, and relationships🚩 Why so many people feel like they’re “losing their faith” after church harm🚩 The role of power, fear, and control inside unhealthy church systems🚩 How to begin healing, disentangling, and rebuilding a resilient faithThis isn’t about walking away from faith entirely, it’s about reclaiming what was distorted—and finding something real, whole, and life-giving again.📚 Resources Mentioned👉 Spiritual Abuse & Healing Course (Allender Center) - https://theallendercenter.org/offerings/online-courses/spiritual-abuse-and-healing/👉 Learn more + resources: https://theallendercenter.org🎧  If this resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Most people think abuse means being hit. But what if some of the most damaging abuse leaves no visible bruises at all?In this deep-dive episode, licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse expert Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what coercive control REALLY is and why terms like "domestic violence" or "narcissistic abuse" don't even come close to describing it.In this episode you'll learn:• Why coercive control is about taking someone's personhood, not just hurting their body• The subtle tactics coercive controllers use• Why ALL coercive control is physical abuse (yes, really)• How to recognize if YOU are in a coercively controlling relationship• What to do if you think YOU might be the coercive controller and that change IS possibleWhether it's a marriage, a friendship, or even church, coercive control shows up in more places than we realize. This episode will give you language, clarity, and a path forward.🕊️ Men of Peace Cohort applications now open → https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/upcoming-events-groups/men-of-peace/📞 Called to Peace Ministries → https://calledtopeace.org/📚 Eyes Wide Open by Dr. Deborah Wingfield → https://amzn.to/4uei4rV📲 Rate & review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps others find us!Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if everything the church taught you about divorce was based on misquoted research and a mistranslation? In this episode, Tabitha Westbrook sits down with the one and only Gretchen Baskerville — Christian author, speaker, and founder of LifeSavingDivorce.com — to dismantle the myths that keep abuse survivors trapped in destructive marriages.With 25+ years of biblical and evidence-based insight, Gretchen unpacks the peer-reviewed research the church rarely talks about: why divorce is not universally harmful to children, how no-fault divorce laws reduced wife homicide rates by 10% and domestic violence by 30%, and what the Dead Sea Scrolls reveal about the infamous "God hates divorce" verse.Whether you're a pastor, a people helper, or someone in a coercively controlling relationship, this episode will challenge what you've been told and give you the research to back it up.Find Gretchen:Website - https://lifesavingdivorce.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville/Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Positive affirmations get a bad rap, and honestly, some of them deserve it. But in this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook walks you through affirmations that are actually rooted in truth and designed to help trauma survivors heal.This is a practical episode. Grab a pen, download the free PDF (linked below), and let's do this together.Resources Mentioned📄 Download the Pocket Calm PDF → https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/Dscl2vqQLVhPEWYDCRd6🌿 Join the Transformational Topics Community → https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/trauma-healing-support-online/Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What does suffering really mean, and what do kids and adults actually need to hear about it?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Beth Broom, licensed professional counselor, trauma care expert, and author of 10 Questions About Pain and Suffering: 30 Devotions for Kids, Teens, and Families (Crossway), for an honest, hope-filled conversation about suffering, parenting, healing, and faith.Beth shares why she wrote this devotional, how families can use it together (not just handed to a kid), and why learning about suffering before it hits is so important. You'll also hear a rich discussion about what healthy parenting through pain actually looks like, including why kids can handle more honesty than we think, why you shouldn't make your child your emotional support person, and how to stay connected to your teenager even when conversations happen at 11 PM.Whether you're a parent, a trauma survivor, a counselor, a pastor, or someone trying to make sense of your own suffering, this episode is for you.Find Beth:📖 10 Questions About Pain and Suffering by Beth Broom: https://amzn.to/4lW6Bu3Christian Trauma Healing Network: https://christiantraumahealingnetwork.org/Beth's podcast: Counsel for Life: https://podcasts.apple.com/uWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Have you been so conditioned to be sweet, small, and unproblematic that you've lost your voice, or worse, put yourself in danger? In this episode, we're talking about one of the most important distinctions I know: niceness is not the same as kindness.Niceness is others-regulated. It needs approval to exist, it collapses under pressure, and it can be a fawn response — your nervous system trying to keep you safe by making you small. Kindness, on the other hand, is self-sourced. It comes from genuine care, it tells the truth, and yes — it can absolutely say no.I'll walk you through:Why the cultural and religious pressure on women to "be sweet" can actually be dangerousThe difference between niceness and kindness (and when each has its place)How healthy boundaries are an act of kindness — not crueltyWhy guilt after setting a boundary is normal, especially for survivorsThe DEAR MAN skill — a practical, step-by-step tool for speaking up clearly and kindly (check the show notes for the full breakdown!)Whether you're healing from a coercively controlling relationship, navigating a hard conversation, or just tired of people-pleasing your way through life — this episode is for you.📝 Show Notes & Resources: www.tabithawestbrook.com/heytabiWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if the thing you've been afraid to say out loud is exactly what could heal you?In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with story work coach Jen Vrooman — certified in Narrative Focused Trauma Care from the Allender Center — to explore one of the most powerful tools in the healing process: writing and sharing your story.Jen breaks down what story work really is, why bringing a written snapshot of harm to a safe coach or therapist can unlock what you didn't even know was there, and why the stories we've minimized the most are often the ones that need the most attention.Then Tabitha puts herself in the client's seat. She reads one of her own never-before-shared stories of harm and lets Jen engage it live — so you can hear exactly what story work sounds and feels like in real time.If you've ever carried a story alone, wondered whether your experience was "bad enough" to matter, or wanted a glimpse inside a real story work session, this episode is for you.⚠️ Content note: This episode includes a personal story of harm involving coercion and alcohol with a minor. Please take care of yourself as you listen.Connect with Jen Vrooman: [email protected]  & https://wholeheartedstorywork.my.canva.site/Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Confession feels like the goal—but what if it's actually the starting point? In this episode, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, to talk about what genuine recovery from sexual addiction looks like in the church. Nick shares his own story of pornography addiction, staggered disclosure, and the turning point that changed everything. They also discuss betrayal trauma, purity culture's failures, why women's sexual struggles are more common than we think, and why deep community—not white-knuckle willpower—is what actually brings lasting change.Resources MentionedPure Desire Ministries: puredesire.orgPlatonic by Marisa G. Franco: book on friendship and intimacy, https://amzn.to/4bnEY9rWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if your desire isn’t something to suppress… but something to understand?In this episode of Hey Tabi, I’m joined by therapist, researcher, and author Jay Stringer to explore what he calls the “civil war of desire.” Many trauma survivors experience deep internal conflict around sexuality, pleasure, food, intimacy, and even their relationship with God. We want connection — and fear it. We long for pleasure — and feel shame when we experience it.Why does trauma create this inner war? How do attachment wounds shape our sexual desire? What happens when purity culture, repression, or spiritual messaging distort our relationship with our bodies?Together, we unpack:How trauma shapes sexual arousal and desireWhy survivors often feel shame around pleasureThe impact of abuse and coercive control on embodimentThe difference between suppressing desire and forming itReclaiming healthy sexuality within Christian faithHow curiosity and compassion can replace secrecy and shameIf you’ve ever felt at odds with your own body or confused by your desires, this conversation will help you approach your story with clarity, courage, and hope.Desire is not the enemy. When understood, it can become a pathway to healing.Grab Desire: https://amzn.to/4scbzVfFind Jay: https://jay-stringer.com/Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What role does storytelling play in trauma recovery? And what happens when the trauma occurs inside the church?In this episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with Dr. Ann Maree Goudzwaard—biblical counselor, domestic abuse advocate, and founder of Help[H]er Ministries—to talk about trauma, spiritual abuse, coercive control, and the healing power of telling the truth.Drawing from her experience interviewing survivors, Dr. Goudzwaard shares why story is not just therapeutic, it’s transformational. We explore how spiritual abuse hides in church culture, why many pastors are undertrained in abuse dynamics, and how churches can respond with wisdom, courage, and compassion.Connect with Dr. Ann Maree Goudzwaard and Help[H]er Ministries:🌿 Website: https://helpher.help/🛍 Shop Resources (including the cool journal devotionals): https://helpher.help/shop/🎙 Safe to Hope Podcast: https://helpher.help/podcast-2/Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

There are parts of your story you’ve learned not to talk about—because naming them feels disloyal, shameful, or dangerous. But avoiding those chapters may be exactly what’s keeping you stuck.In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Adam Young, licensed clinical social worker, author of Make Sense of Your Story and host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast, to talk about why healing requires honesty—and why some parts of our story feel too threatening to name.Together, they explore how storywork, trauma therapy, and the nervous system intersect, why effective therapy often feels disruptive at first, and how naming intentional harm (especially in families) brings clarity rather than condemnation. This conversation is especially meaningful for survivors of complex trauma, developmental trauma, abuse, and those navigating healing within a Christian or faith-based context.If you’ve ever wondered:Why am I afraid to tell certain parts of my story—even to myself?Is naming harm the same as dishonoring my parents?This episode will help you understand why those fears make sense—and why telling the truth is often the beginning of freedom.Find Adam: Website: https://adamyoungcounseling.com/ Adam's Book: Make Sense of Your Story - https://amzn.to/3OoJ2guWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

We slow down and practice simple tools to move from survival to safety, using consent-based exercises, micro-practices, and imagery to regulate the nervous system. We talk about building a 911 card, explore glimmers, and use music and compassion to make calm more reachable.If you need some embodied coaching, we are happy to walk alongside you and help develop that strong toolkit with you. Our contact information is in the show notes and in the description. You can find us at www.thejourneyandheprocess.com.Wanna say hi? Send a text!  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What happens when emotions are ignored, suppressed, or labeled as “wrong”? For many trauma survivors—especially those raised in Christian spaces—emotional suppression doesn’t lead to peace or holiness. It leads to anxiety, shame, disconnection, and relational breakdown.In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Emma Ward to talk honestly about the hidden damage of emotional suppression—and how real healing begins.Together, they explore:Why emotional suppression is so common in Christian cultureHow unprocessed emotions show up as anxiety, anger, shame, or numbnessThe difference between having emotions and being ruled by themHow trauma impacts emotional awareness and the bodyWhat Scripture actually shows us about emotions (including Jesus’ own emotional life)Emma also shares the heart behind her E-motion Monsters emotional literacy cards and why learning the language of emotion is essential for healing, healthy relationships, and embodied faith.Find Emma:E-motion Monster Cards - https://e-motionmonsters.com/The Ahava Way (therapy & intensives) - https://theahavaway.com/Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What does it actually look like when the Church gets it right for survivors of abuse?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and coercive control expert Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dawn Jones, founder of Restored to Thrive, a church-based ministry supporting women healing from domestic abuse/coercive control, and relational trauma.So often, abuse survivors experience silence, minimization, or spiritual bypassing in church spaces. But this conversation offers something different: a real-life example of a church that chose survivors over systems—and the healing that followed.Together, Tabitha and Dawn talk openly about:How coercive control and emotional abuse show up in Christian marriagesWhy traditional marriage counseling can be dangerous in abusive relationshipsWhat abuse survivors actually need from pastors and church leadersHow safe, trauma-informed church communities foster real healingThe life-saving impact of being believed, supported, and protected🔗 Resources Mentioned:Leslie Vernick – The Emotionally Destructive Marriage, https://leslievernick.com/Called to Peace Ministries, https://calledtopeace.org/National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-7233Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

All abuse is physical abuse—even when there are no visible bruises.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse expert Tabitha Westbrook explains the neuroscience behind coercive control and why survivors often experience brain fog, memory problems, anxiety, emotional numbness, and difficulty concentrating long after the abuse has ended.Drawing from current neuroscience research and clinical experience, Tabitha walks through how coercive control and chronic emotional abuse can cause real brain injuries, including emotional concussions and mild traumatic brain injuries (mTBI)—and why this is so often missed, minimized, or misdiagnosed.If you’ve ever thought:“I should be better by now”“I know I’m safe, but my body doesn’t believe it”“My brain just doesn’t work like it used to”“Why am I still struggling?”This episode may finally help things make sense.In this episode, we cover:Why all abuse is physical abuse from a neuroscience perspectiveHow coercive control changes brain function and blood flowEmotional concussions and trauma-related brain injuries explained simplyWhy survivors are frequently misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or ADHDCommon brain-based symptoms survivors blame on themselvesHow healing is possible through whole-person, trauma-informed careWhy rest, nervous system regulation, and safety are essential for recoveryWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again?In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma.Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why healing requires more than insight or “right thinking.” This conversation centers on the sacred role of presence, safe community, and being witnessed without being rushed or fixed.You’ll hear about:How telling your story helps integrate body, brain, and soulThe cost of carrying an untold story aloneWhy growth after trauma is not linearHow spiritual harm complicates healing & gently rebuilding faithRestoried, a trauma-informed support group for women (and how you can participate)This episode is for survivors who feel stuck, exhausted, or unsure how to make sense of their story - and it's for helpers who want to understand trauma with more compassion and depth.🔗 Resources & LinksLearn more about Restoried and Melissa Affolter’s work:👉Restoried: https://www.melissaaffolter.com/restoried-support-groups👉Melissa's site: https://www.melissaaffolter.com/👉 Fieldstone Counseling: Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What happens when a pastor admits, “We made it worse”?In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor Matt Chandler for an honest conversation about how uninformed church systems have harmed abuse survivors - often unintentionally, but deeply. Tabi didn't provide any questions in advance and Matt didn't shy away from anything asked. Together, they explore what happens when churches lack training in domestic abuse, coercive control, & trauma dynamics, & how good intentions can still cause devastating harm. Matt speaks candidly about past failures, institutional blind spots, & what true repentance & reform actually requires.Inside this conversation:⛪️ Why abuse is often missed in Christian marriages and churches⛪️ How church systems can unintentionally side with abusers⛪️ Why trauma-informed training is essential for pastors and elders⛪️ What accountability and repentance should look like in the ChurchWhere to find Matt:https://www.pastormattchandler.com/Matt's latest book - Awake and Alive: A 30-Day Challenge to Revive Your Faith - https://a.co/d/gLywHJpWhere to get trained:Pastors that would like to get educated on abuse or schedule a Protect the Flock training for your church, reach out to Called to Peace Ministries - https://calledtopeace.org/. If you would like trauma-informed training Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Is emotional abuse being hidden behind Christian language like submission and forgiveness?In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with bestselling author Leslie Vernick to expose the truth about emotional abuse in Christian marriage, and why so many survivors are told to stay silent and endure harm.If you’ve ever wondered:Is my marriage emotionally abusive?Does God want me to stay in an abusive marriage?Am I being abused or just “too sensitive”?This conversation offers clarity, validation, and biblical truth without shame.You’ll learn how to recognize emotionally destructive patterns, understand why submission without choice becomes oppression, and begin trusting your instincts again.Resources:Leslie Vernick - https://leslievernick.com/The Emotionally Destructive Relationship - https://amzn.to/3Kz7c6JThe Emotionally Destructive Marriage - https://amzn.to/4919P9EWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

When we’ve lived through abuse, or we spend our lives helping others heal from it, it’s shockingly easy to accidentally pick up the same tools, patterns, and power dynamics we’re trying to dismantle. In this deeply honest conversation, trauma therapist, Tabitha Westbrook, and biblical counselor that does not suck, Chelsey Gordon explore how survivors, advocates, and church leaders can resist becoming the very systems of oppression they’re fighting against.Whether you’re a survivor learning to trust again, a ministry leader navigating influence, or someone passionate about justice and healing, this episode offers compassionate insight, spiritual grounding, and real-world practical guidance.🔍 In This Episode, We Talk About: • The hidden ways survivors may replicate abusive patterns without realizing it • Why community, humility, and honest feedback are essential for healing • What Scripture actually calls us to when we feel defensive, afraid, or justified • How to hold truth, justice, compassion, and discernment together • The “Voldemort effect”: why the pursuit of power will cost us our souls • How to create relationships where accountability doesn’t feel like attack • Practical wisdom for breaking cycles, in ourselves and in our churchesThis is a tender conversation, grounded in compassion for survivors and clarity for leaders who want to do better. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I responding from my wounds or my wisdom?” this episode will help you find the answer.Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a relationship can truly heal after sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or years of secrecy, this episode is for you.In this deeply honest conversation, Tabitha sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, authors of Building True Intimacy, and survivors of their own story of betrayal, addiction, and the long road of rebuilding trust.Together, they unpack:The process of everything shattering and the slow work of rebuildingWhy honesty and safety must come before trust and vulnerabilityWhat betrayed partners actually need for healing (and what harms them)How grief, accountability, empathy, and self-work make true connection possible againMatthew and Joanna share what most couples never hear: healing is possible, but only when both people do the work. Their story is honest, raw, redemptive, and filled with compassion for both the betrayer and the betrayed.Resources Mentioned:Free HONEST Connection worksheet: raabsmithteam.com/freeMatthew & Joanna's book - Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection That Stands the Test of Time - https://a.co/d/ihkKmFxConnect with The Raabsmiths:Instagram: @theraabsmithteamMatthew & Joanna's Website - Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What is good biblical counseling, really? And why is it so hard to find, especially if you’re a trauma survivor who's already been harmed by “just pray more” advice, sin-sniffing, or spiritual bypassing?In this week’s episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook (licensed trauma therapist, abuse expert, author of Body & Soul, Healed & Whole) sits down with Jacque Escue, a Certified Biblical Counselor and trauma-informed practitioner—who does not suck—to talk honestly about what healthy, safe, compassionate biblical counseling is… and what it is NOT.If you’ve ever wondered whether biblical counseling can be: ✔ trauma-informed ✔ safe for abuse survivors ✔ actually helpful and not minimizing ✔ aligned with Scripture and real mental health science you’ll for sure want to listen.We dive into: How biblical counseling goes wrong and harms survivors Why “take two verses and call me in the morning” isn’t biblical or helpful How to spot red flags in a biblical counselor What whole-person, clinically informed, faith-honoring care looks like Why trauma lives in the body and why good biblical counselors must understand that How Jesus models embodied, compassionate care—not legalistic lectures What it looks like when licensed therapists and biblical counselors work together for healing How survivors can reclaim faith after spiritual abuse, coercive control, or church betrayalWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if everything you’ve been taught about hope is backwards? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Jenny Bayless of Fuller Seminary to talk about why hope isn’t an outcome you chase, but an anchor you hold onto when life feels unbearably heavy.If you’ve ever felt betrayed by hope, overwhelmed by suffering, or exhausted by Christian clichés that make your pain feel minimized, this conversation is for you.We dive deep into: ✨ Why survivors often shudder at the word “hope” ✨ The difference between wishful thinking and true, grounded hope ✨ How trauma, abuse, and betrayal shape your ability to hope ✨ Why hope requires touching pain—not ignoring it ✨ What the Bible actually means by hope ✨ How to rebuild your internal sense of safety, agency, and intuition ✨ Hope that doesn’t depend on outcomes, miracles, or circumstances ✨ How to walk with God when your world has fallen apart ✨ How clinicians can hold hope well for clients who cannot hold it yetDr. Bayless brings her expertise in trauma, spiritual integration, EMDR, and addiction recovery into a compassionate, soul-level conversation that survivors desperately need but rarely hear.If you’ve been hurt by the church… If you’ve prayed and fasted and still didn’t get the outcome you begged for… If hope feels dangerous or even cruel…You are not alone. And this episode is a gentle invitation back to Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if biblical counseling actually led to healing instead of shame? 👀 In this candid convo, worship leader–turned–biblical counselor Adam Westlake (The Worship Initiative, Shane & Shane) joins Tabitha to unpack why much “sin-detective” counseling harms survivors—and what compassionate, trauma-informed, theologically rooted care really looks like.We get into:Why story work > quick fixes (Colossians 3/Ephesians 5 vibes)Guilt vs. shame and how spiritual bypassing wounds survivorsPorn/affair recovery through curiosity (shoutout Jay Stringer)Contemplative prayer and embodied healing for anxious, high-achieversHow survivors of domestic abuse & coercive control can find faith-safe help“Participation in the life of the Trinity” vs. white-knuckle sanctificationIf you’ve ever been told to “just stop sinning,” this one’s for you.Resources:Adam Westlake - https://www.adamwestlakecounseling.com/Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Parenting a “spicy” teen? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Greg Wilson, LPC-S and author of When Home Hurts, to talk about raising adolescents through trauma, grief, and chaos, without losing your mind (or your compassion).Together they unpack:💥 Why your “ghost pepper” teen’s outbursts might actually be pain in disguise💥 How trauma, from loss, abuse, or today’s chaotic world, shapes behavior💥 Practical tools for parents to stay calm, connected, and regulated when kids explode💥 How to hold firm boundaries and lead with empathy💥 What to do when you’ve “done everything right” and your child is still struggling💥 Why curiosity, community, and faith matter more than controlWhether you’re navigating grief, abuse recovery, or the rollercoaster of adolescence, this conversation offers hope, humor, and hard-earned wisdom.Timestamps:00:00 – Intro & Greg’s story of loss and calling04:00 – Why kids today are more anxious and traumatized07:00 – Balancing compassion with healthy boundaries12:00 – Parenting ghost pepper-level teens18:00 – How to stay regulated when your child isn’t24:00 – Grieving the “what should have been” as a parent36:00 – Repairing when you’ve messed up45:00 – When faith feels shaken in parenting54:00 – Finding safe community & not parenting aloneResources Mentioned:Greg's Practice - https://www.soulcareassociates.com/Greg's Books - Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Have you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse.You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, reconnects body and soul, and creates space for spiritual peace and safety. We’ll unpack common myths (“mindfulness is just sitting still”), share trauma-informed ways to begin, and offer practical grounding tools you can use right now—no incense or perfection required.Whether you’re healing from complex trauma, navigating anxiety, or simply craving calm, this episode will help you learn to notice without judgment and live with compassion.Resources Mentioned:TIP Skill - https://taking-every-thought-captive.teachable.com/p/bonus-skillSign up to learn more about the updated Mindful Connection online course - https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/MyzTv00PzvenmNzassWC🎧  If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!Wanna say hi? Send a text!  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Online trauma help online can be powerful, but it can also be dangerous if you don’t know what to look for.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook, unpacks how to find good, trauma-informed help online that’s actually safe & how to spot red flags that could cause further harm.Many survivors of abuse or trauma seek online counseling, coaching, or groups for support, but not all helpers are trained or trauma-informed. Tabitha shares what genuine, safe, healing spaces look like (rooted in evidence-based trauma care), and what kinds of online “help” can actually replicate coercive control or even spiritual abuse.You’ll learn:✅ What trauma-informed actually means🙏 How real faith integration differs from spiritual bypassing🚩 Red flags to watch out for in online Christian therapy or coaching spaces💡 Questions to consider before trusting an online helper🌿 What true safety and compassion look like in online spacesIf you’ve ever wondered how to tell the difference between helpful and harmful “healing” online, this episode will give you clarity, confidence, & peace.Resources Mentioned:Coaching/Therapy from Tabitha's Team - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comGrab the Body & Soul, Healed & Whole Digitial Guide - https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/ah0hh6YLomd7JSjccL0tTabitha's Site - Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

When pastors teach on marriage, sex, or addiction but fail to mention abuse, survivors in the pews hear a dangerous message: stay, submit, and suffer silently.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains why silence from the pulpit enables harm and how pastors can bring truth, safety, and compassion into conversations about marriage, sexuality, and faith.You’ll learn:Why abuse and coercive control must be named in sermons on marriage and sex addictionHow silence from church leaders can embolden abusers and retraumatize victimsWhat trauma-informed preaching looks like in real lifeHow to protect the vulnerable and promote genuine healing and restoration within the ChurchTabitha draws from her experience as a licensed trauma therapist and international expert in domestic abuse and coercive control, sharing practical ways pastors and Christian leaders can model Christ’s heart for the oppressed.If you’ve ever wondered why the Church’s silence on abuse causes such deep harm - or how to do better - this episode is essential listening.Resources Mentioned:National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.orgCalled to Peace Ministries: https://www.calledtopeace.orgWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Intensity isn’t always anger—but it can really help to know the difference!In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks how to tell the difference between healthy intensity, destructive anger, and trauma-driven reactions.If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” or if someone’s passion feels like a threat, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening in your nervous system, and how to respond with grace, grounding, and discernment.You’ll learn:✨ What intensity actually is and why it often gets mistaken for anger✨ How trauma shapes your body’s response to loud voices, passion, or energy✨ How to recognize healthy intensity versus coercive control✨ When and how to adjust your own intensity for deeper connection✨ Practical grounding and communication tools to regulate your emotions✨ A faith-based perspective on passion, boundaries, and emotional expressionWanna say hi? Send a text!  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Most therapists believe couples therapy helps struggling marriages—but here’s the shocking truth: up to half of couples seeking counseling are experiencing domestic abuse or coercive control. If therapists miss it, they can actually arm the abuser with new tools to manipulate and harm their partner.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains:Why traditional couples counseling is unsafe in abusive relationshipsHow coercive control hides in plain sightRed flags therapists and pastors MUST learn to recognizeWhy safety - not reconciliation - MUST come firstAbuse is not a “marriage problem.” It creates marriage problems. Learn how to spot the difference between difficult, disappointing, and destructive relationships—and why missing it can literally be lethal.Get on the interest list for the Certified Coercive Control Recovery Therapist (CCCRT) or Certified Coercive Control Recovery Specialist (CCCRS)! Cohorts begin in January! Click here - https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/moooGNGLHIEAo2yNZnsd!Wanna say hi? Send a text!  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Christian perspectives on physical intimacy often lack clarity, leaving many couples confused about what honors God in the bedroom - especially if one or both partners are survivors of harm. True intimacy begins with friendship and mutual respect, creating space for honest communication about desires, boundaries, and healing.In this episode we explore:What's permissibleHow technology has changed how we approach intimacySexual abuse survivors needsThe full spectrum of intimacy not just intercourseArousal templatesConsentWhat healthy intimacy entailsResources Mentioned:The Marriage You Want - by Sheila & Keith Gregoire - https://amzn.to/46ug2cHBody & Soul, Healed & Whole - by Tabitha Westbrook - https://amzn.to/4pA4s8IGottman Sound Relationship House - https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-the-sound-relationship-house/Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Tabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times.The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise engages all five senses to bring our awareness back to the present momentCreating a detailed mental "peaceful place" where we can retreat when overwhelmed helps our bodies experience restVisualizing a light waterfall washing over our body can help release tension and create a protective shield against stressUsing mantras like "It's okay to have big emotions" helps normalize our feelings without judgmentBreath prayers combine scripture with mindful breathing to center both mind and spiritA systematic body scan helps identify areas of tension without judgmentThese exercises are invitational—choose what works for you and practice at your own pace"Intentional unproductivity" through brief rest periods actually makes us more productiveIf you found these grounding exercises helpful, please share this episode with someone who might need it, and rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your preferred platform to help others find this resource.Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Teen dating violence and emotional abuse isn’t just “puppy love gone wrong.” It’s a serious issue that affects 1 in 3 teens, often before they even graduate high school. And it rarely starts with bruises - it starts with control, pressure, manipulation, isolation, and fear.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what teen coercive control really looks like, the warning signs parents and teens should never ignore, and how faith communities can respond with wisdom and compassion.We’ll cover:✅ The difference between conflict and coercive control✅ Red flags every teen and parent should know✅ The impact of shame, secrecy, and spiritual confusion✅ How to help your teen build healthy, God-honoring relationships✅ Practical steps for safety, healing, and hopeIf you’re a parent, teen, or church leader who wants to better understand how abuse can start early - and how to break the cycle before it takes root - this conversation is for you.📌 Resources Mentioned:National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: https://www.loveisrespect.orgDomestic Shelters.org - https://www.domesticshelters.org/Learn more about trauma-informed care & parenting coaching: https://www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com👉 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode to spread awareness and help protect the next generation.Wanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Ever tried to be kind to yourself only to be flooded with shame, grief, or anxiety? There's a name for this paradoxical reaction to self-compassion: backdraft. Like oxygen hitting smoldering embers in a closed room, self-compassion can sometimes trigger explosive emotions from unaddressed wounds that have been waiting for acknowledgment.Drawing from Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, this episode unpacks why this happens and affirms that you're not failing at self-compassion—you're actually beginning to heal. We explore how backdraft manifests emotionally, mentally, physically, and behaviorally, providing concrete strategies to work through these intense responses. From naming your experience to engaging your support system, these practical tools help transform backdraft from a setback into a signpost of healing.For those navigating trauma recovery or wrestling with faith questions, we examine how self-compassion mirrors God's gentleness toward us rather than representing self-indulgence. When we've internalized negative messages about our worth, often from abusive relationships or harmful spiritual teachings, self-compassion helps break these curses and vows. The journey isn't about rushing through healing but opening doors with care and letting fresh air into your soul at a pace you can handle.This episode offers hope for anyone who's wondered why being kind to themselves suddenly feels terrible. Your heart isn't rejecting healing. It's finally acknowledging pain that's been there all along. By practicing titration, noticing glimmers of goodness, and approaching yourself with the gentleness God extends to you, you can transform backdraft from a painful explosion into evidence that light is finally reaching your darkest places.Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Subscribe to Hey Tabi for weekly conversations that brWanna say hi? Send a text!  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Trauma survivors often master compassion for everyone - except themselves. This creates a hidden cost to their healing journey. Self-compassion isn't self-indulgence but actually mirrors God's heart toward us and represents a crucial piece in trauma recovery.• Self-compassion consists of three parts, as stated by Kristin Neff: self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification• Trauma distorts our ability to show ourselves compassion, making us hypercritical and feeling isolated in our pain• Scripture shows God's compassionate heart toward us - "He knows how we are formed. He remembers we are dust" (Psalm 103:13-14)• Jesus never spoke harshly to the broken and hurting• Self-talk shapes our reality - reframing negative thoughts is crucial for healing• Soul-care involves tending to your whole being - physical, emotional, and spiritual - with self-compassion• Practical steps are included to help you move toward self-compassionSelf-compassion is an act of holy rebellion against trauma's lies. Even micro-movements in self-compassion create meaningful progress in healingTry just one self-compassion practice today - micro-movements still move you forward. You're not being selfish; you're walking in who God created you to be.Resources:Rachel Wojo - https://rachelwojo.com/. Her books referenced are:One More Step - https://cardshop.rachelwojo.com/products/one-more-step-finding-strength-when-you-feel-like-givingWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Are you quick to label someone a narcissist? This episode of Hey Tabi explores if the person hurting you displays signs of something even more dangerous. We'll cover dark psychology and challenge popular assumptions across the mental health spectrum as licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the concept of coercive control and why labeling a partner as a narcissist can miss the mark. Learn how coercive control deceives, manipulates, and endangers, and discover how to reclaim your clarity and safety. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that may change the language you use about this forever. Listen now to understand the true severity of coercive control and why it's crucial for your well-being to understand. Don't miss out!Called to Peace Ministries: https://calledtopeace.org/Domestic Shelters: https://www.domesticshelters.org/Questions to ask a therapist: https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/WDGh5bZuWDbk2OJqWQAmWanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Is male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie?In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequences.Whether you're a man trying to understand your sexual story, a woman wondering why your partner shuts down, or a therapist supporting clients through sexual trauma recovery, this episode will reshape how you think about intimacy, identity, and embodiment.You’ll learn:Why men were taught to fear their sexuality and how that harms everyoneHow emotional disconnection sabotages intimacy in marriageWhy “lust” isn’t the real problem (and what is)The difference between consumption and connectionHow the Church has often failed men by oversimplifying their struggleWhat healthy, heart-connected sexuality - the poetics of sex - actually looks like Why healing is possible, even after trauma, shame, or years of struggleThis is the conversation we should’ve had decades ago, but it’s not too late. Men were made for more than performance. They were made for love, tenderness, and true intimacy. It’s time to reclaim that.🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS → Sam Jolman’s book: The Sex Talk You Never Got - https://amzn.to/4ogAohx → Sam’s website: https://www.samjolman.com/CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome to Hey Tabi 01:20 Meet Sam Jolman & his journey 05:23 Purity culture myths & male shame 08:47 Mechanics vs Poetics of Sex 13:37 Healthy masculinity & emotional intimacy 20:41 Marriage, trauma & knowing your partner 29:43 Pornography exposure as harm 35:10 How men connect emotionally 41:59 Why safe touch and community matter 50:10 The church’s silent role in sexual harm 56:33 Reclaiming pleasure, play & healingWanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if your story of suffering isn’t disqualifying—but the very space where Jesus meets you? In this powerful and grace-soaked episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with the one and only Elyse Fitzpatrick - author, counselor, and fierce advocate for the unloved and unseen.We dive deep into:Why the gospel is more than behavior modificationHow the church has mishandled women’s storiesThe truth about Gomer, identity, and self-destructionHow legalism sneaks into our hearts, even when we know betterWhy trauma-informed theology mattersHolding both grace and truth in messy, beautiful tensionElyse also shares the story behind her new book Unloved: The Rejected Saints God Calls Beloved, and we talk about what it means to find hope when life hasn’t turned out the way you were promised it would.This one’s for every woman who wonders if she’s too broken, too messy, or too far gone. Spoiler alert: you’re not. Jesus sees you—and He calls you beloved.👇 LINKS & RESOURCESFind Elyse here - https://elysefitzpatrick.com/ Order Unloved by Elyse Fitzpatrick here - https://elysefitzpatrick.com/book/unloved-the-rejected-saints-god-calls-beloved/Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What does it really mean to be a "doer of the Word" like it says in the book of James?In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Neil Schori, pastor, father, and Director of Church Partnerships at Called to Peace Ministries, to tackle how being doers of the Word should make churches look. Together, they unpack James 1:22-27 and challenge what it really means to “be doers of the word.” Spoiler: it’s not about ignoring abuse.You’ll hear real talk on:How churches unintentionally side with abusersWhy emotional maturity (not just theology) is essential in marriageWhat “widows and orphans” actually means in a trauma-informed contextThe epidemic of autoimmune disease and physical health decline in abuse survivorsHow leaders can stop protecting the institution and start protecting peopleThis is not your average talk about a scirpture. It’s a call for churches to embody the heart of Christ, not just quote His words. If you're a pastor, elder, biblical counselor, or therapist, this episode is your mirror moment. Don't walk away unchanged.🔗 Want to help your church do better? Learn more about Called to Peace Ministries and their Church Partnership Program: www.calledtopeace.orgBook mentioned: 37 WAYS TO BE TAKEN CAPTIVE: Warning Signs and Prevention for Destructive Relationships by Syndey Millage - https://a.co/d/9GDLfK6Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if the marriage advice you were taught in church is actually what's ruining your marriage?In this powerful and data-backed conversation, author and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire joins Tabitha to unpack the myths evangelical culture has fed us about sex, submission, and "roles" in marriage and how those messages have led to entitlement, emotional immaturity, and deep harm for both men and women.In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with author, podcaster, and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire (BareMarriage.com) to dive deep into the truth about evangelical messages on sex and marriage.Drawing on data from over 32,000 survey responses, Sheila exposes the damaging beliefs that have shaped evangelical culture—from the “72-hour rule” to male headship—and replaces them with Christ-centered, evidence-based truth about healthy intimacy, mutuality, and emotional regulation.They tackle:Why prioritizing sex is the wrong goalHow purity culture harmed an entire generationThe silent epidemic of emotionally immature marriagesWhy Christian men need real discipleship, not entitlementWhat love languages actually reveal (hint: it’s not what you think)How to build a marriage rooted in partnership, not powerWhether you’re single, married, deconstructing, or holding on by a thread—this conversation is the invitation to rethink what God-honoring marriage truly looks like.📘 Grab Sheila’s latest book The Marriage You Want, and be sure to grab copies of The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better if you don't already have them!Find Shelia!Bare Marriage: https://www.baremarriage.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sheilagregoireFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/baremarriageofficialYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SheilaWrayGregoire✨ Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more honest, faith-integrated conversations about trauma, healing, and hope.Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if the sweetest thing someone ever did for you… was actually part of the abuse?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the tactic of manipulative kindness, a dangerous, confusing form of coercive control that keeps victims stuck in toxic relationships.This isn’t the “honeymoon phase.” It’s not real love. It’s a weapon dressed up as a gift.You’ll learn:What manipulative kindness looks like in real lifeWhy it feels so good—and why that’s part of the trapHow trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement keep you hookedRed flags to watch for (like minimization, strings attached, and false repentance)How to tell the difference between real kindness and control wrapped in charmWhere to turn for help and how to begin healingIf you've ever been told, “See? He's trying,” right after being harmed, or felt guilty for not being grateful for someone’s sudden niceness, this episode is for you.💡 Kindness should never come with strings. 💡 Control wrapped in charm is still control.🎧 Listen now and take the first step toward clarity and healing. 🛑 Need help? Resources below.📚 Mentioned Resources:Called to Peace Ministries → https://www.calledtopeace.orgConquer by Leslie Vernick → https://leslievernick.com/nav-conquersignup/The Marriage You Want by Sheila Wray Gregoire → https://a.co/d/4jjmxkjFind a trauma-informed therapist → https://thejourneyandtheprocess.comWanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if the church's problem isn't ignoring sex, but being obsessed with it in all the wrong ways? Does the Church really function like a sex addict? This provocative question frames our exploration into how evangelical Christianity's approach to sexuality has created environments where abuse thrives and healthy intimacy struggles to exist.The fingerprints of this unhealthy fixation appear everywhere—from crude pulpit talk to the hyper-focus on female modesty while neglecting male accountability. Purity culture has left countless believers without the language to identify abuse or the tools to build truly intimate relationships. Behind church doors, pornography use among leadership is stunningly prevalent. A recent Barna study commissioned by Pure Desire Ministries reveals just how common this struggle is, raising serious questions about how consumption of increasingly violent content shapes attitudes toward women. This isn't merely a personal struggle—it's reshaping how entire congregations understand gender, power, and sexuality. The path forward requires courage and honesty. We must expand our understanding of intimacy beyond sexual intercourse, recognizing the beautiful complexity of human connection God designed. From youth ministry to premarital counseling, we need meaningful conversations that prepare believers for the realities they'll face while offering a truly counter-cultural vision of sexuality, one marked not by obsession or shame, but by wholeness and genuine intimacy. Ready to join this crucial conversation? Share your thoughts and experiences as we work toward healthier approaches to sexuality in our faith communities.Pure Desire Ministries - https://puredesire.org/Beyond the Porn Phenomenon - Pure Desire/Barna Study - https://puredesire.org/shop/beyond-the-porn-phenomenon/How to find a CSAT or PSAP - https://iitap.com/Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if what you were taught about God isn't what God actually wanted you to believe?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into what happens when our theology has been shaped by fear, shame, spiritual abuse, or coercive control. If you've ever questioned your faith because of how it was used against you, this episode offers permission to wrestle, reexamine, and rebuild.Tabitha explores:How faith gets twisted in abusive environmentsThe weaponization of submission, forgiveness, and sufferingWhat deconstruction really means (and why it’s not a dirty word)How disentangling false beliefs can lead to healing and deeper connection with GodThe difference between condemnation and convictionWhy Jesus never sided with abusers, and how God actually responds to your questionsWhether you’re in the middle of reexamining long-held beliefs, grieving spiritual harm, or just wondering where God is in your story, this episode will meet you with truth, tenderness, and hope.📥 Download the free reflection guide mentioned in this episode: tabithawestbrook.com/heytabi🎧 Listen to Safe to Hope, Season 6 Episode 2, Jesus is My Captain here - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/season-6-episode-2-jesus-is-my-captain/id1643769999?i=1000690797075Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Did King David commit adultery—or was it something much darker? In this deeply important episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook examines the true story of David and Bathsheba. Spoiler: It’s not the sanitized ‘affair’ we’ve often been told. It’s a story of power, coercion, and sexual violence—rape by a man in power.Join us as we read 2 Samuel 11 in its entirety, challenge cultural and spiritual myths that have silenced victims for centuries, and explore how this ancient abuse of power still echoes in today’s world—especially in the church. We’ll talk about the real meaning of consent, the trauma of sexual violence, and why it matters to name these truths clearly.We also dig into: ✅ Why Bathsheba’s “consent” wasn’t possible ✅ How spiritual bypassing can harm survivors today ✅ The difference between sin and an abuse of power ✅ The consequences David faced—and what it teaches us about accountability ✅ And how God’s mercy and justice show up even in these heartbreaking storiesIf you’ve ever felt silenced, or if you’ve wondered how to read these hard biblical passages with both faith and trauma-informed compassion, this episode is for you. Because naming the truth is the first step toward real healing.👉 Resources mentioned in this episode:📚 Desiring God Article by John Piper on this scripture - https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/did-bathsheba-sin-with-david🔔 Subscribe for more:Real conversations about trauma, faith, and healingWeekly episodes exploring mental health from a Christian perspective#traumarecovery #biblicaltrauma #domesticabuse #heytabi #sexualviolence #davidandbathsheba #churchaccountability #traumainformedfaith #healingjourney #christianpodcastWanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Is healing from trauma ever really “finished?" In this compelling episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist and host Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Chuck DeGroat—therapist, pastor, and author of "Healing What’s Within"—to unpack the long journey of trauma recovery, especially in faith-based spaces.Together, they explore:What it means when trauma lingers for decadesWhy “getting over it” isn’t always the goalHow to practice self-compassion when your nervous system says you're not safeThe connection between developmental trauma, spiritual abuse, and physical illnessWhat churches often get wrong about trauma—and what survivors really needWhether you're a survivor, a spiritual leader, or someone walking alongside others in pain, this episode offers deep validation, wisdom, and hope for the slow, sacred work of healing.👉 Don’t forget to subscribe for more conversations that blend trauma-informed care with real, faith-integrated dialogue.📘 Learn more about Chuck’s book & grab a copy: "Healing What’s Within" - https://amzn.to/3SilvN7#heytabipodcast #ChuckDeGroat #TraumaHealing #SpiritualAbuse #ChristianTherapist #FaithAndTrauma #ComplexTrauma #HealingJourney #ChurchHurt #NarcissismInTheChurchWanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What does true repentance look like for someone who has abused their partner? Is real change possible—and if so, what does it take?In this hard-hitting episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor, biblical counselor, and domestic abuse interventionist Chris Moles to dig into the gritty realities of faith-based perpetrator intervention. Together, they unpack:- Why traditional couples counseling fails in abuse cases- What the Men of Peace program teaches about accountability and repentance- How coercive control distorts a person’s view of love, intimacy, and authority- Why emotional abuse is often just the beginning—and how to detect sexual coercion- How pastors can avoid colluding with abusers and instead walk in truth and justice- The vital need for multidisciplinary care teams to support both survivors and perpetratorsWhether you’re a survivor, a ministry leader, or a clinician, this conversation will challenge and equip you with biblical insight, clinical depth, and gospel hope.💡 Listen in as we call abusers to repentance and the church to courage.🔗 Find Chris at chrismoles.org, menofpeace.org📘 Mentioned Resources: The Heart of Domestic Abuse - https://amzn.to/43g0BDqCaring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse - https://amzn.to/4jXYOd7When Home Hurts - https://amzn.to/3YP3tpq🛑 Trigger Warning: This episode contains candid discussion of abuse, sexual coercion, and spiritual harm.🎧  If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. David Pooler—professor of social work, licensed clinical social worker, and director of the Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse Advocacy and Research Collaborative. Together, they tackle one of the most urgent yet under-discussed issues facing faith communities today: adult clergy sexual abuse.From the psychology of abusive leaders to the church's mishandling of sexual misconduct, Tabitha and Dr. Pooler explore how trauma, theology, and power intersect in devastating ways—and how survivors can lead the way toward healing and justice. They discuss everything from the Me Too and Church Too movements, why so many church leaders are unequipped to deal with abuse, and what true restorative justice in religious spaces could look like.If you're a survivor, a pastor, a therapist, or just someone who cares about the church being a place of healing, not harm—this conversation is a must-listen.👉 Topics include:The hidden crisis of adult clergy sexual abuseWhy survivors are the experts the church needs to hearThe dangers of quick re-platforming and institutional silenceEMDR and trauma-informed care for Christian leadersThe role of shame, theology, and spiritual formation in abuse dynamicsWhat a trauma-informed, safe church could look likeWhy real accountability isn’t punitive—it’s redemptive🙏 This conversation contains sensitive content about sexual trauma and clergy misconduct. Please take care while listening.Find Dr. Pooler's work at https://socialwork.web.baylor.edu/person/david-poolerWanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Have you ever feared being seen as the "nagging wife" from Proverbs? You're not alone.In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with women's leader and author Kelly Galyean to explore how biblical illiteracy has fueled shame and silence for many Christian women. Together, they unpack how Scripture has often been misunderstood or weaponized—especially in the context of marriage, trauma, and abuse.Kelly vulnerably shares her story of learning about these verses in context, and with courage and hope. They also discuss how the church can better support women, what healthy marriages actually look like, and why biblical literacy is critical for healing from spiritual and emotional harm.Plus, Kelly introduces her Christian romance novel How Can It Be?—a redemptive story of love, grace, and starting over.Whether you've felt silenced, shamed, or just spiritually stuck, this episode offers wisdom, warmth, and practical encouragement for your healing journey.Find Kelly - http://www.kelligalyean.com/Kelly's Instagram - @kelli.a.galyeanOrder How Can It Be? - https://a.co/d/901G5LyWanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

If you've ever had Scripture twisted to keep you silent, ashamed, or stuck in an abusive relationship, you are not alone. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down why biblical literacy is a critical part of healing after abuse, coercive control, and spiritual harm.You'll learn:📖 What true biblical literacy is (and why it's different from memorizing random verses)❌ How abusers misuse Scripture to manipulate and control survivors✝ Why understanding the Bible for yourself can be a powerful tool for reclaiming your voice and your faith🙌🏼 How to try out different Bible translations to find the version that feels safest and least triggering for your healing journeyIf you’ve struggled with spiritual abuse, religious trauma, or confusion about God's heart for you, this episode will equip you to take your first gentle steps back toward truth, safety, and hope.🎧  If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

In the beginning was the Word. Jesus spoke everything into existence. We know when we've been traumatized the words spoken over us are curses. Those curses often replay like a horrific record. Today we’re breaking chains and speaking life.Healing from trauma requires breaking the chains of harmful words spoken over us and replacing them with life-giving truth that restores our sense of dignity, worth, and value.Speaking life over ourselves counteracts the curses and negative messages that trauma imprints on usGod never aligns with abusive structures, systems, or individualsSpiritual abuse distorts God's voice and weaponizes faith against victimsBoundaries are not rebellion—even Jesus established healthy boundariesOur identity is not defined by what happened to us or the coping skills we usedHealing isn't linear but resembles a bowl of spaghetti with ups and downsJoy is possible even after traumaWe can move beyond the labels of "victim" or "survivor" to become an "overcomer"Creating personal reminders of truth can help rewire our brains from those distorted thought patternsI encourage you to write your own life-speaking truths that address your specific situation. Keep them in a notebook or on index cards and review them regularly, especially when negative thoughts are screaming at you. If you're willing, share your affirmations in the comments on the YouTube video or head over to my Instagram @tabithathecounselor and share them there!Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What No One Tells You About Using Your Voice After TraumaIn this powerful episode of the Hey Tabi podcast, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks the often untold truth about what happens when survivors start to use their voice after trauma. Drawing from her expertise in domestic abuse, coercive control, and Christian trauma recovery, Tabitha explores the emotional, relational, and systemic risks that can arise when you begin speaking your truth.You’ll learn how reclaiming your voice can lead to life-changing healing—but also how it can shake up relationships, trigger resistance from unhealthy systems, and stir up old pain. With wisdom and compassion, Tabitha offers practical guidance on how to safely and confidently use your voice while staying grounded in self-awareness, discernment, and faith.Whether you’re healing from emotional abuse, navigating complex trauma, or trying to integrate your Christian faith with your recovery journey, this episode will give you the clarity, tools, and encouragement you need to keep going.Wanna say hi? Send a text!👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.