The Holiness of Rest

My nervous system is changedI’m more settled than I’ve been in some timeEven as I stare down 100 boxesAnd seemingly endless odds and endsIt might be entering a totally new biomeIt might be the intensity of practices these last monthsIt might be sheer exhaustionDoesn’t really matterI’m appreciating the spaciousnessRight here in the middle of my overwhelmSuddenly, I’m somatically comfortable with the not knowingI work on that quite a bitComfort with DiscomfortCuriosity over controlAnd my moment-to-moment experience variesBut this moment is calmPerhaps some numbnessBut I can feel a whole lot of my bodyGiven the lifting and cleaningThere’s a lovely resigned-nessNot in a hurry to set up this new houseAnd run out and get a jobEven though both those things need to happenAnd they willBut a silenceAn acknowledgement that the last few months have been a lotThat shifting addresses is crossing a thresholdAnd there’s this liminal space I’m inhabitingWhere there’s an absence of pressureEven in the internal dialogueI am treasuring this momentEven though I’m not out of the woodsNot by a longshotBut there’s spaceAnd wonderAnd that in itself is rest.For much of the last several weeksI employed a 45 minutes of work15 minutes of rest rhythmWhich I’ve found to be remarkably productiveAnd steeped in self-careSaturday and Sunday, of course, blew that patternAnd I thought I’d be wrecked todayBut I’m notI’m resting a lotAnd moving from inspired actionAnd when that action dissolvesI’m resting againI got more done today than I intendedEither thanks to the restful approach of the dayOr the foundation of the patterning of these weeksNot sureDon’t need to knowJust appreciating the pauseBetween the endingAnd the beginningThe in-betweenToday’s home This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com