Hello and welcome to the double pivot the world's most agreeable soccer analytics podcast. I'm Michael Kayley I'm joined by Mike Goodman and we have just completed talking about all of the soccer that occurred. That was really fun So Mike anything you've been doing that isn't soccer The music here is the way others maxes with us on the other side of the virtual glass We are starting the stove to show punchy because we got no soccer to talk about I guess I've been doing stuff that isn't soccer. I mean, you know a lot of it is like Looking over my shoulder to see if my daughter is making noises at 930 on a night when she's supposed to be asleep But it's the wrong of it because this is what we do with our time now Yeah, it's a really nice time to have it have a sleep regression at a time of like low stress and sort of your everyone's career Everyone's sort of day-to-day is really calm So you've at least like if you have to manage your sleep regression, you're in the best possible place to do it.
Yeah, yeah Parenting in the time of social distancing is sure thing Especially because my girls like she's three So it's like right exactly the wrong age for this because like they can't really do a lot of stuff But they can kind of understand and be upset that things are different and it's not great not gonna lie. It is not great Yeah, so I had six so he can like you can explain things to him He can understand things intellectually to a certain degree We can do like like if you ask her what's going on she'll be able to say to you like school is closed because of the sickies Which is like I'm like super impressed by that Developmental like step but like it doesn't really help with them What do I do to fill the hours of your day right and that that is that is by far the biggest problem? We have we have a schedule that we make in the morning because he liked having a schedule at school So make our schedules has been surprisingly effective up until today at like limiting the amount of just pure sitting watching television time So we have like, you know, there's there's walking the dog. There's free play and then there's the thing I was gonna just brag about here is a dueling.
Oh, we are doing we're doing doing doing go Spanish and We're on like we're all we're up to nine days on a streak at this point and he loves it It is like he has a little frustrated sometimes so you have to do things But like and you can see like his little six-year-old brain being way better at language than anyone else's brain And like occasionally he's just like naturally correctly conjugated a verb and just like how to do that But the thing that he really likes at this point is he's now learned enough to make silly sentences So we have what we have a lot of like, you know, eat This is that's the word that he's sort of it comes up a lot in like the intro levels It's like so-and-so eats like you have one coma man's on us and so then he realized he could put other words there He'd be like fun one coma el taxi One coma el ombre And like you feel like stop us as we're doing the lesson to do more silly sentences And like he seems to think that he's I just do one more and I'm like this is great Like you that is you learning Spanish and so yeah, that that's been that's been very very good I mean that that feels you know 20 to 30 minutes of the day and I've got 11 to 12 hours to fill but it makes me feel much more much more It makes me feel like I'm achieved so much more having done that so that like there can be an hour and a half of free play with marbles and an hour of video games and We are learning Spanish who's gonna criticize me The other thing that I'm doing this is my self-care is holding myself to the lowest standards that I can for like home School and stuff sure like like because there are homeschools just started I mean homeschool is like, you know, we have like zoom meetings on check-in and I'm like not all of the families that like In this kindergarten class in this neighborhood, which is a extremely large range of incomes in this neighborhood Have like can easily set up a zoom meeting, right? Like it's and so they're taking attendance and like you really should like the teacher said she was taking attendance And I assume I think she's lying about that Like I don't like it's a really bad idea. Yeah, so he's got homework Which I am just not gonna hold myself to we do we have enough we have our math is Mostly marble races because they can have them teams in the marble races get points for their finishes and then you add those up Yeah, which I'm just I'm just so many. Yeah, so you know go to free play free play We watch a lot of yellow marble runs, which I saw was on ESPN 2 yesterday Yeah, it's yeah, I mean obviously ESPN 2 is also struggling, but It is bleak out there, but yeah, so we get and you know, what what problem can you you know?
What can you do with this point but throw money up on so I bought a lot of marble run pieces? Yeah, that'll do we have we have stuff stocked up for yeah periodic when we need it the bubble machine is the first thing They got broken out so we can sit out on our little deck thing We have a tiny little, you know like apartment deck and she can just put the bubble machine on that that usually gets us some time But I'm starting her own video games. I can't like what else am I gonna do and she can't really play them yet But what we did is we got the switch out and we put the switch up to the TV and I first I first showed her the switch Is a handheld thing and the beauty of three-year-olds is that she then came back from that time and I hooked it up to the TV and I was like Look what's on the TV? And this was the most amazing thing she had ever seen in her life Daddy, how did you get that on the TV and like, you know while being super hero for a while, which was very very nice and then like You know, we would like I showed her Mario Kart She was like she likes to actually like call the game the races as an announcer And here goes the blue car and the blue car started going past the red car and the red car and the red car can't go anymore Why daddy?
Why is it the red car going but there knows the blue car and like like for like an extended period of time She will do that, which is great. I should get kind of bored of Mario Kart I showed her a couple of other things. I was like, oh, do you want to try do you want to look at Stardew Valley? Look, they're farming.
They're cutting down trees. They're feeding chickens. Isn't that all very nice? She's like eh, and then I downloaded the the Yoshi's crafted world.
I believe is what it's called the Yoshi game for for the Nintendo such and Yeah, Yoshi's crafted world. She was pooped like like just really into the dinosaur game to the point where like we played the free demo level She's like, oh, that was fun. I was like maybe later and I was like, you know, it's a full-cost switch game So like if she forgets about it, like I'm not gonna go buy it, but then she comes back the next day It's like can we play more dinosaur game? It's like all right.
Yes. Yes. Yes. We can and she's three So she can't really handle the controller and she can't read yet other than like her name.
So like We can't like you know, there's a lot every video game You need to just like you can't get over like other than like developmental like teaching apps Like there's just there's too many words in games and what she will say to you is I don't know these words as if she knows Other words that aren't these words like the words in brown bear brown bear, which is like the thing she reads So I have to be the words and mostly what it breaks down to is me playing Yoshi's crafted world at her sitting next to me And like every ten minutes being like that Can I try and me handing her the the remote so she can fill with it for five minutes and kind of around and like she knows what She's supposed to be doing and can sort of basically do basically like run to the right and jump at relatively appropriate times But that's about it should have figured out like a jumping puzzle at one point that I had not yet figured out Which was somewhat shocking to me But basically amounts to me spending a bunch of time playing a mediocre but fun, you know platformer and her hanging out on the couch watching Which is like better than watching TV. So I'll take it. It just seems like it's super accessible to her brain Which is cool because like I don't know why like we look at other media platforms And she just wasn't like engaged the same way I don't know if it's like well You have to find three doggies and she like clicks to that or like whatever, but she's into it So that's a great way to pass the time. So if you have a youngster who's like not quite video game age yet I recommend Yoshi's Crafted World as having hit that sweet spot.
So that's one thing that I've been doing with my time That's what we've been playing Mario Kart and uh, he just sucks ass. He's so bad He's so bad and like he's old enough. He can get frustrated with that So he's into it enough that he's like he's mad at himself for being bad Yeah, yeah And like trying to like it just feels like like the reverse of the way the world should work I should not be explaining to him how to hold his controller But like I think that's the problem part of it just like he needs more repetition obviously We just need to play more video games will get better like I need to commit to this as a parent But like I will I will just thumb underneath the joystick rather on top of it And I think that like it just makes it particularly hard for him and then I'm like say um put your thumb on top He's like you're a peeking daddy. You're a peaker And so we do that um But uh, I was like the cool thing about Yoshi is that like it's slow enough pace that I can be like Why don't you help me play?
Okay, press the x button now And she can like put her finger on the x button and throw the egg where I have pre-aimed it and stuff like that Yeah, um As opposed to like Mario Kart would not work Um Yeah, he really got rocket leak he really wants to play and I'm like until you can like not finish like eighth in the mushroom cup We're not trying something harder So what I've been told about rocket league is that little kids will just like enjoy driving the car around smashing stuff and like That they don't necessarily like need the structure of the game for it to be really fun. Just like the physics engine of it Um, I don't know. Um, I have no idea. Yeah, no one does I haven't played video games in forever.
Um Like yeah, I like we have an Xbox and like I will play FIFA like somewhat but like I'll get really into like stupid games on my phone. That's my video gaming now I feel like I grew up with a dad who like had a stack of books that he's never gonna read That would just keep growing and like my version of that is like browsing video game stores and being like Look at all these video games that I would like to play and never have time will never have time to play But really want to spend money on and this is the downfall of civilization. Yeah, exactly I mean like that the thing is I've been I've been waiting for this I always assumed that like eventually he'd want to play video games And then we could play video games together That was the concept behind buying the switch was that like I got to feel bulk time And if we are watching a video playing a video game together That is a much more like successfully parented hour than watching sitting and watching watching tv If he's playing alone, it's not that much better. We're playing together.
There's like a whole dynamic happening there that counts Um Yeah, so I think the other thing we're doing is we've got a reading hour Um, which is so every day there's an hour where I am reading to him And for the most part, it's not like him reading. We're not like doing a lot to develop his literacy Um, except in Spanish, but I point out words. We actually have a couple anyway. We're reading we we finished the push cart war Which I'd read as a kid and um, it was good.
It stands up. It was fun It was it's very well paced and he was able he really liked the idea. He's like, so this didn't really happen It's written like it really happened. Why is that?
Oh, that's fascinating. Yeah Storytelling is so interesting with kids. So one of the shows that we watch a lot is this show on Disney plus called bluey And it's it's australian and but it's it's about like a family with two girls but other dogs Um, but the structure of it is a lot the characters on the show making up games and playing the games together with each other Um But then within those games that they play they will like from time to time tackle like real stuff Like I want to play mommy. My baby came out of my belly too early.
So they have to stay at the hospital for a long time We need a it's like a tank with holes in it for the baby And then they like so it's like it's super insulated for the kids Right because it's a tv show with a dog family and on the show the kids are playing a game And then nested within that game will oftentimes be a like serious issue being processed by kids playing a game about it So it's like three levels of remove and it is so well done Like amazing to be watching the show that like they pulled this high wire off, but like they really do Fascinating. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, so push cart war as kids book. It's like a It's it's about like a imagined New York Like it's it's I think I said in the near future from when it was written It's written like the 70s.
It's set in the mid 80s Right and and it's about like the trucker is trying to drive the push carts off the street in a world where the trucks are so large That they dominate the streets and like yeah, it was funny. Yeah, it was a little things going on And we have we moved on to um A book called the expeditioners just another one that's a solid young adult But it's it is a steampunk like young adult adventure thing And so it's about a group of kids It's a world where there have there were like it's sort of alternate history They don't need to get too much into it But where like some point in the middle of the 20th century new lands were discovered on earth And there were new places to explore and like a new age of exploration happens Under a kind of like dystopian government that it's got it's got kind of embedded in it like a like not terribly deep But like actually existing critique of colonialism and like what the explorers do and about like a group of kids Was it was an explorer and he's they're told that he disappeared They're not sure if he really disappeared and they have to go out on their own expedition Um, it's not entirely clear yet where it's gonna end up, but it's it's like it's not the best But I am very compelled by it. I enjoy reading it. I mean it's you know steampunk young adult adventure stories Like I mean, I'm there for that.
I'm trying to remember like what age I was When like the reading because I'm very like my pants tell me all the time I was either like six or seven when it happened And I'm trying to remember what I was reading like very early on. I think I went right to hardy boys Like and read like 70 of them. Yeah, I had like all of the hearties boy Yeah, yes all of the hearties boy and then like tom swift as well But not Nancy do because you know gender essentialism Um Which yeah, so I'm like I'm excited for the time when I can like read to her Um, you're not quite there yet. I don't think I will say I did not expect the real play video games with you Like bridge to be crossed before the read real stories to you bridge, but you know, that's what times called I suppose So win.
Yes. Yes. We uh, there's just not enough Like she can't like we try to do a structure schedule and we do stuff But it's just it's not she's too young to have like a like a thing Which she needs a class around her to enforce the schedule when it's just her. Yeah, and yeah Both my wife and I are working from home like and we switch off hours more or less But like there's there's just some overlap and there's not kind of no avoiding it Plus, there's the baby.
Yeah. Yeah. Have you gotten to consume any culture that isn't simply a Managing children. Well, we did we actually did watch a movie the other night.
Um Now I can't remember what it's called But it's Mila Kunis and Kate McKinney, and it's like a spy who dumped me or my Spy dumped me. I think it's a movie. Yeah, so it was not good Maybe it was like and had some fun. She plaps or whatever, but it was not like The version of what that movie is supposed to be is the spy The spy the spy that the um What does it mean to keep him build more girls?
Anyway? Yes, uh, yes, and that's a really really good funny movie And this was like k-mekin is funny But like you got the sense that they were just like the wacky k-mekin in a lot and Mila Kunis is game But she couldn't really carry the movie and then like everything that was going on around them was like, I don't know 70 percent like they wanted to do that thing where like we're a spoof but also Kind of a spy movie and like it just it wasn't um Great But like I mean we were going for a movie that we could watch while we were three quarters. It's like on the couch So it fit the bill. That's like the most culture thing I've done.
It's watched the spy who dumped me or whatever the heck it's called Have you done culture? Yeah, we we enjoyed a what sounds like a very similar Mediocre film. I think it was a little bit mediocre. It was it was fun I I laughed a good number of times during the movie the other guys just I like the other guys It's free on Netflix.
So, um, yeah, it's uh Bill Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. It's Adam McKay like it is So they blow up they blow something up at one point in the strip mall Yes, and it was my favorite Italian restaurant as a child growing up like it's in Westchester I know exactly where it is. I was like, oh, I have nowhere in that movie. It was like pastinas That scene where the strip mall gets blown up and they just like the two of the Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell just laying on the ground for a long time being in pain I've got soft tissue damage.
I know I have soft tissue damage Like no one gets up for like there are lots of little things like that that are great. They've got this opening bit with uh The rock and Samuel L Jackson is like hero cops who are actually terrible cops and like, you know You know, they are they are action hero cops, but it's very clear that actually hero cops are like not actually good And like there's lots of it's very funny. Yeah, there's that are very funny and like there's something taken that movie and cut 40 minutes off of that Because it's also like it is like there's like a lot of those those Adam McKay Will Ferrell moves they're big like and that's sort of the point They're improv. There's other things going on like scenes go on too long because someone in the process of editing was entertained by that scene going on Too long but like like with the spy of w it's also a Top movie right and I think that I don't let that sit there if I recall it pulls off the double like the duality of a little bit better I think we've got like my critiques of it are like they're there one There's a bunch of stuff they should have just caught like this whole thing about Will Ferrell having been a pimp in college And in case she does like this black exploitation voice like not a good idea cut that it wasn't funny um But like You take this movie you tighten it down just to the jokes that work and the overarching plot that basically works And you do it in 90 minutes.
It's a classic Yeah, but like this is like this is like the height of like Adam McKay the director like just go out there and kind of riff Yeah, yeah, and of course it's Adam McKay So like you know there are like very broad like sort of everything is set up like you know there are critiques of the of like Of the financial system and financial criminals like there's this the sort of the very end of it There's this there's this thing where like the the overarching bad guys who run this thing called lentil capital and lots of things are named after 80 sports Things there's lentil capital their boss is named gene mock like I forgot. I totally forgot that Is that the movie where there's like a running gag with like the gimme your cop and your gun and badge with the boss or is that another cops Movie that might be that might be um this one the running gag is that they take away Will Ferrell's gun and they give him a wooden gun and he has a wooden gun the whole movie And it's Michael cheating plays plays the the captain and does a does a good job There's like a ringers up and down the cast like Steve Coogan has a pretty thankless job Yeah, he has a few good bits and he does very very well with a few good bits that he gets Um It's it's just like oh that person who's very funny in this role and all of that So I enjoyed it like it just just like the lap the like the laughs slowed down Has the as the cop movie aspects pick up, but the pace doesn't really change Yes, the first 45 minutes are really really good. Yeah. Yeah, I That would be some 2010.
Yeah Um I suppose if you're out there still listening to this by some miracle I would love your recommendations for like crummy my brain needs to be turned off movies that are like entertaining Um, it's it's it's it's a surprisingly difficult niche to hit Oh, yeah, the last thing I want to do when I feel like I want to watch that movie It's like sweat about hitting it, you know Like the last thing I want like if I have to scroll 10 minutes on Netflix or Amazon prime or whatever to find one of those movies I would be defeated to go to sleep. Yeah, what we've been doing because we have the same problem Um We probably should have started with this stuff. This stuff is more interesting all the parenting crap in different formats. Um So uh the what we've been doing This is the problem in a nutshell, right?
Which is like you have to get through the parenting stuff to get to this stuff every single day And this stuff isn't even that good Oh What we've been doing though is watching movies that we only like that we remember loving but don't know if they're any good or not Smart and like they're all of these are like, you know, famous enough and successful enough that we know that they're like reasonably well crafted Right. We really enjoyed my cousin Vinny, which we had not seen it for ever Yeah, that's I've actually seen part of it fairly recently. It's really good Yeah, it's I mean the the central performances from Jo Pashia and rissa tomay are so good The like the ringer the ringer who plays the judge is fantastic. Ralph macho has literally nothing to do Um, which is pretty funny.
They're there. There's an extended prison rate joke, which you know you could take her leave um but like it's just But it's just one of the really well-crafted screenplays where like there's a little weird thing with like southern breakfast They learn about grits and then later on in the movie the thing that he learned then becomes a crucial part of his Team yeah, and all the part of stuff is so good That everyone says that this is the movie the lawyers say like gets the rules of evidence right Yes, and like they make the rules that they managed to make the rules of evidence part of a plot in an entertaining way That like it's it's just well done Yeah, the old movies that I've been watching are the aristocrats and rescuers which Fine fair enough got the kid watching them. They're short. They're like rescuers would not qualify as a feature like film if it was released today because I think they cut off his 80 minutes um they age sort of some better than others and um, I don't know if you've So James Domian the impersonator and comedian has a joke where he highlights how all of the classic villains are coded as gay And when you watch these movies, you can't you just you cannot unsee it Um once you've had that sort of like there's like a lot of academic work About this which is like it's academic work So you're like, oh, that's really interesting and then you watch James Domian or listen to James Domian do his bit Where he is doing impressions of all of these more modern-day Disney villains from scar to uh Ursula from uh, and and they you hear it and you're like Oh, and then you go back about some of these older ones and yeah, it's um, it's not great Yeah, yes.
I mean Watch the lion king the Ursula one was one I watched a little mermaid more and like I don't know I had more like the Ursula one was one that like was in my brain already Watching lion king which I hadn't watched it that much and seeing scars. Oh, yeah, this is incredibly gay coded. This is like Yes, which is obviously like, you know, this was like semi explicit in like mid-century Hollywood stuff the my favorite one that Domian hasn't that makes is he takes transformers And uh megatron and star screamer, and it's like I had never thought of that before and he like does his impressions like oh, yeah, of course Ah, all right On that note We'll do more, you know, pandemic podcast here at some point. Yeah, we've got a couple interviews lined up We know we've been saying this but we actually do have them.
I think we have like three in our pocket that we need to record Yeah, so those will be coming we have a few more those and um Yeah, we've got we've got your list of ideas and questions which we just need to get to and we're gonna do that Kids allowing exactly all right cheers y'all wash your hands wash your hands if you get sick stay the fuck home