The Ice Pirates (1984) - Because You Watched Starcrash

“I hope no one minds, but I have no intention of facing this sober.” The Distinguished Professors engage in some Errol Flynn-style hijinks and privateering in search of the solidified state of water with the 1984 movie The Ice Pirates! Topics covered include a water as a post-apocalypse MacGuffin yet again, the star-studded cast, the questionable PG status of this movie, comparison with Princess Bride and a connection to Jason and the Argonauts, fairly broad comedy, MIT’s space piracy program, the slow start, the B-movie omnipresence of late-stage John Carradine, parallels with the overly busy plot of Galaxina, Earth as the end of the quest, the weakness of the Rock’ Em Sock’ Em-looking robots, an uncomfortable moment for pirate HR, a time-displaced Tesla bike, another sci-fi appearance of the vagina dentata, parallel with Deathstalker 2’s LOL-less humor, a jive-talking pimp robot, a fairly diverse 80s sci-fi cast, comparison with Space Raiders, the aptness of the swashbuckling soundtrack, the unsolved father-daughter subplot, the dumbness of the space herpes subplot, the inconsistency of the time warp (and a preview of our future time-travel season!), the pointless of the end fight and a comparison with the end of Breaking Dawn Part 2, and Robert Urich: Frog Gigolo.