Today I want to focus on one and it's low self-worth. Something I struggled with, I mean, I was a cutter. I used to, I'm not afraid to say it, I used to punch myself in the face. I did, I used to beat my face in.
I used to hit my head against things and cut myself, I used to punch doors and walls and Amanda can probably tell you that my door, when I was a teenager, looked like Swiss cheese. It really did, there was so many punch holes in my door, it was ridiculous. And I don't know if you remember that in South Winden when we lived in that apartment. It was more than just my door, that it was a bathroom door too, wasn't it?
When the battle acts tried to go through it. When you guys are in there screaming, it wasn't me though, I don't know who that was. But listen, one of the greatest roots to the way that you make decisions in your life is the way that you think of yourself. At a very young age, I started to be aware of myself and think of myself in a certain way that God would never, ever think of me.
He thought of me as a, with no, I thought of me as a valueless or worthless or just somebody that just constantly made mistakes. There were times that I would talk and I would hear my voice and I would just stop talking. I would just shut up because I thought what I was saying and how I said it even the sound of my voice was ridiculous, it was stupid. And which led me down a path of drugs and jails.
I mean, when I sat in jail, I didn't sit in there with my head down and I'm like, oh no, here I am again. I had a good time. I felt like that was where I belonged because I felt like that was my worth. When I was homeless, I loved being homeless.
A lot of homeless people are okay with living that lifestyle because they don't know the value that they have in God's eyes. When people used to compliment me, I remember compliments from teachers and from, I remember I was at an art show once and we had to draw this thing and I drew it. We handed them in, I went first place. I was supposedly a good artist when I was young and never amounted to anything because every time somebody said, that looks really nice and my head I'm like, you're a liar, it looks retarded and you're just trying to be nice.
Seriously, every time somebody said something nice to me, it was a lie. He's got great potential. He's a really smart kid but he just needs to apply himself. You're a liar.
That's what it was, it was always you're a liar. And it was the enemy who influenced those thoughts towards myself. It was the enemy who influenced those thoughts towards myself. See, I've allowed situations and circumstances of life to define me, to shape me, to mold me, to create me.
Situations of life where people treated me as an object that was worthless. Where people said things to me that made me feel shame and guilt and condemnation as a little child. And I'd walk around and feel like everything was my fault. And then the shape of me was somebody who was worthless and basically just trash, just garbage, walking the earth.
That's what I was being shaped as by circumstances and the mistakes that I've made. We're not a product of those things. The world can shape and mold and conform and individual into a certain object. And you can look at yourself that way based on your past experiences and your past mistakes and your past trials and tribulations and things that you've been through.
And you can look at yourself and identify yourself that way. That is not you that is a lie. That is a lie. That's not who you are.
That's not who you are. Okay, so the world can shape, mold and conform and individual but listen to this. The presence of God will always transform the person back to the way that they were supposed to be created initially. When you get into the presence of God, that moment where you know that God is right there.
I wanna know your heart. I wanna know your heart towards me, God. What do you see me as? And you get into the presence of God in all those past circumstances and mistakes they fade away.
David, David was in a situation where it seemed like he was in a very discouraged situation. Let's turn to first Samuel chapter 30 and we're gonna read verses one through six. First Samuel chapter 30. I love that people still grab their Bibles and open them even though we put it on the screen.
That's a good thing. So first Samuel chapter 30 verses one through six. It says three days later, when David and his men arrived at their town of Ziklag, they found that the Amalekites had made a raid into Negev and Ziklag. They had crushed Ziklag and burned it to the ground.
They had carried off the women and children and everyone else without killing anyone. When David and his men saw the ruins and realized what had happened to their families, they wept until they couldn't weep no more. David's two wives, Aino M from Jezreal and Abigail, the widow of Nabal from Carmel, were among those that were captured. So his wives were captured.
David was now in great danger though because all of his men were very bitter about losing their sons and their daughters. And they began to talk of stoning him, but David encouraged himself in the Lord. So David was the chief, he was the captain, he was the one that led that army. And the other men that were with him were probably saying things amongst themselves.
They were probably saying, if David hadn't made us go north with our Philistine enemies, this would have never happened. They were probably saying, David should have insisted that we leave some of our men here to defend our families, it's his fault. And they wanted to stone David. They wanted to stone David.
The situation that David was in had the potential to shape form and mold David into a certain thing and make him somebody that he really wasn't. It had the potential to just mess David's whole world up. He was discouraged, the Bible says. You know, David could have gave up on leading armies and he could have went and got a job at McDonald's and a one bedroom apartment and just hid out for the rest of his life.
Who knows there was a McDonald's back then? That's unscriptural, so you always testing it to make sure you're reading your Bibles. There's no McDonald's in the Bible. But it's good to imagine that there was.
David could have went and fled into the wilderness and he could have became a slingshot maker and sold slingshots on the black market. I'm the guy who took down the giant. I make the best slingshots there is. He could have had a commercial and all that.
And just as we could have been, the rest of his life, he would have never been heard of. David continued to be a great man after God's own heart. And he has the most talked about kings in all of history. Why?
What did David do? He encouraged himself in the Lord at the moment where the world was trying to shape him and change him and conform him into something that God never made him to be. He encouraged himself in the Lord. Hear that today.
He encouraged himself in the Lord. Maybe God is calling you to do great things. Maybe he's calling you to launch a church. Maybe he's calling you to start one of the greatest businesses America has ever seen.
Maybe he's calling you to be the president of the United States of America. I don't know, maybe. Maybe somebody sitting here is gonna be a future president of the United States of America. But when times start to get rough, when things start to get heavy and the world starts to throw stones at you, are you gonna allow those stones to shape, mold, and conform you into something that God has never intended for you to be?
Encourage yourself in the Lord. I remember, I remember my toughest moment in ministry. I remember moments, honestly, where I felt like just completely throwing in the towel, even on God and my faith. Because the times that I went through were so heavy.
As a, look, I've been through some crazy stuff in my life, I've been homeless, I've been in jails and prisons and institutions, I've been beat up really bad. And there was a time in ministry that I can honestly say was the worst time of my life. Worst time of my life. There was things that, it was like the twilight zone.
I don't know what was going on, it was like dark cloud was just following me everywhere I went. It was so, so, so rough. And I was at a point, I was at a point where I had a decision to make. I could have gave up on all of it and said, you know what, this is not worth it, or I could have encouraged myself in the Lord.
You see me here today, standing in front of you because I encouraged myself in the Lord. What has God called you to do in your future that you need to encourage yourself in the Lord now over? Encourage yourself in the Lord. How did David encourage himself in the Lord?
What did he do? Read the book of Psalms. Read the book, he didn't read the book of Psalms. He wrote most of the book of Psalms.
I'm not saying that, that's what he did. You need to read the book of Psalms. That's what David did to encourage himself in the Lord. And we'll see David didn't become great because he sang sad country songs when things got rough.
David didn't come great because he wasn't singing some hard-stored gangster rap to get rid of some of the stress. He wasn't singing screamo to get rid of some of the frustration that he had. He sang songs of encouragement. He sang songs of encouragement.
Not that those types of music are a bad thing, but we need to sing songs of encouragement. David encouraged himself in the Lord by singing things like this. Psalms 139, 14, it says, I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are your works. And that my soul knows very well.
Does your soul know very well that God created you fearfully and wonderfully made? Not the world or your situations or the things that you're going through, but God created you fearfully and wonderfully made. Do you know that in your soul? Do you really understand that?
His situation did not make him. God's hands made him. And he knew that, but he had to sing that. He had to encourage himself in that.
He had to know that even his soul. Psalm 27, verse 10 says, even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. David confessed through song that everyone on earth could totally abandon him. No matter, they could all talk about stoning him, but he's still going to know that the Lord will hold him close.
He'll never leave you nor forsake you. But sometimes you have to get there and you have to understand that. You have to have an assurance of that. And how you get there is to encourage yourself in the Lord.
Sing songs of worship and fight the presence of God. Psalm 100, verse three says, acknowledge that the Lord is God. He made us and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pastor.
Sometimes in a tough situation, we need to still acknowledge that the Lord is good. The Lord is good. I preached a funeral last night. And during that funeral, I said, the Lord is still good.
And everybody nodded their heads. They understood that the Lord is still good. Even though they just lost a close loved one, the Lord is still good. And sometimes you just need to sing that over your situation and understand that.
Psalm 33 says, but you, O Lord, are a shield around me. You are my glory, the one who holds my head high. First of all, in that verse, David understood that he was completely protected by God from all of his enemies. And sometimes we need to know that.
Because when we feel like we're surrounded by the enemy, on all sides, we start to make decisions based off of fear and stress. And those decisions never turn out the way that God wanted you to be. But the second part says, he is the one that holds my head high. He is the one that holds my head high.
Have you ever felt like your head was bowed down in shame? Have you ever felt like you were so depressed that your head was just hanging low? Have you ever been so upset that all you could do would just stare at the ground? God is the lifter of your head.
He lifts your head high. You know that I used to, when I first started coming to church and stuff years ago, I'd be in worship. And then when it would come time to even worship, I'd be like, and then when it would come time to pray, I'd be like, and then God said, I am the lifter of your head. Look to heaven.
Hold your head high. Hold your head high. This is not a sad thing that you're walking in. This is not a, you're not depressed, even if depression is trying to overtake you.
Sing songs, encourage yourself and the Lord, and hold your head high. He is the lifter of your head. Psalm 62, one through two says, truly my soul silently waits for God. From him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock in my salvation. He is my defense. I shall not be greatly moved. Sometimes when it feels like the whole world around you is trying to move you and shake you.
You need to sing a song that says, I shall not be greatly moved. I shall not be greatly moved. Sing those songs and invite the presence of God. Let them show up and overtake your earthly situations.
There's something special. There's something special when we sing songs about God that happens. We're being encouraged by the kingdom of God. When we're singing songs earlier, we're saying, let your kingdom come.
And we repeated that, let your kingdom come. We need his kingdom to come. So when them songs come on, I encourage you, don't just sit there as if it's some song. Get in, walk, step into it.
Open your heart to it. And if you're just not there yet, which I can understand that too, I've been through that. Get these songs, get these songs, and listen to them at home when you're by yourself and just enter into it. Enter into the presence of God.
Let his kingdom come right there in your bedroom. They're songs of faith sometimes, right? When it looks really bad, you start singing songs of faith. Songs of the Lord is good.
Your situation could be so bad, and you're singing the Lord is good, and His mercy will endure forever. Songs of faith. When you praise, when you worship the Lord, there's something supernatural that happens, and your life is touched in such a way that nothing else in this world ever could touch you like that. And that says a lot, because sometimes there's some really hard things that we go through in life, and it feels like they're not only touching us, but they're punching us in the face.
But when you sing songs of praise and worship, there's something supernatural that happens that'll override that situation in your life, and you'll be able to make it through that with your head held high. Praising Him, not allowing the enemy to bind you. There's something that happens when you praise and you worship God, and I'm not just talking about your feelings, because feelings are natural too. I'm talking about this supernatural.
It'll override even your very own feelings. I'm talking about a much needed transformation. Look, we all need transformation. We all need transform in some area of our lives.
Having Bible studies in prison was an amazing thing, and it helped me greatly, but it didn't transform me. You know what transformed me? Listening the Mississippi Mass Choir. Yolanda Adams, Jackie Velasquez, on my walkman, laying in my bed.
There's three albums I had in prison, that's all I can get from the chaplain's office. But I love them. Mississippi Mass Choir used to hit me, so I don't know if you've ever heard of them. Yolanda Adams and Jackie Velasquez, their voices, and what they were saying, it just struck me.
Just struck me in such a way. I would be laying in my bed with tears coming down my face. That's what transformed me the most. That's what really helped me to change.
That's what really helped me to open up to God's heart in my life. I'm telling you, worship is very, very important. Live a life of worship. There's something amazing that happens in your life when you call on the presence of God through worship and praise.
I'm gonna talk about nine values real quick of the presence of God. I'll just run through these real quick. Please pay attention, this is really good stuff. There's fullness of joy in Psalm 1611.
It says, you will show me the path of life. In your presence, it's fullness of joy. At your right hands are pleasures forevermore. You wanna find strength, turn to first chronicles 1627.
Glory and honor are in His presence. Strength and gladness are in His place. Very clear, get in His presence, and you have strength and you have gladness. You become free in 2 Corinthians 3 17 for the Lord is spirit.
And wherever the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. You want freedom from some situation or some event going on in your life? It says right there that we're the spirit of, call on the spirit of the Lord. You wanna become more like Jesus.
Well, 2 Corinthians 3 18 says, so all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. The glory of the Lord is His manifested presence. And the Lord who is spirit makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image. You wanna know Him more.
Ephesians chapter 1 17 says, asking God, the glorious Father of the Lord Jesus Christ to give you spiritual wisdom and insight that you might grow in your knowledge of God. You're restored in the presence of God. In 1 Peter 5, 10 it says, but may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory, which is His presence, by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. You are restored.
You want protection. Isaiah 43, 2 says, when you pass through the waters, I will be with you. His presence will be with you. When you pass through the waters and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned. Nor shall the flames scorch you. Have you ever been through a time in your life where you needed this song? Or you needed to sing a song that sounded just like that?
I've been through many times in my life where I could have sang that song and would have changed the whole issue that Lord is with you right in the middle of a He is your protector. You need His presence. We need to worship Him and praise Him. The Bible says that He inhabits the praises of His people.
That means He comes, when you praise Him, He shows up. He's there. And maybe He's already there, but you just need to praise Him to get yourself open to His presence that He's there. His word comes alive in His presence.
In John 1426 it says, but the helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. He brings you safety in Psalms 31, 20. It says, you shall hide them in the secret place of your presence. We need His presence from the plots of man.
You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues. He brings you redemption as Isaiah 43, 1. It says, but now thus says, the Lord who created you O Jacob and He who formed you O Israel, fear now, I have redeemed you. I have called you by name and you are mine.
Listen, we need to worship and praise God at all times. Just an attitude of worship and praise. We want your presence, Father. We want you here with us.
We need you Lord. You know that we have access to the most amazing worship leaders ever in all history. There's so many great talents. I mean, Michelle's voice, Lee's voice, this is God's drums.
I mean, I think God is completely sent dust into play drums here. I mean, really, Dan on the bass, Ben on, I mean, Phil, on the, listen, there's some great talents. And what's behind those talents is their hearts. Their hearts.
They want God to show up. They want. And there's so many other great, you know, awesome, amazing. And it's all at our disposal.
And I just want to encourage you, I want to encourage you, take some time to look at that list back there if you don't know these artists and look them up and sit in your room by yourself. And let me just say this, when you start playing that stuff and getting your heart in it, you won't be by yourself much longer. You will not be by yourself much longer. He will show up.
Trust me. Listen, I'm not some weirdo that I didn't grow up in the church and had this stuff talk to me. When I was in prison, I was fresh. I was a fresh newborn baby in Christ.
I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything. And for me to lay on my bunk and listen to these people singing my headphones and start weeping, it was something special. It was something real.
God wants it to be real in your life. And you need it to be real in your life. Amen? The song that we sung last during our worship set was one of my favorite songs.
Michelle, if you can come up and start playing a little bit, it says, I'm not going to sing it, all right? Sing it? All right. Psych.
Where's Rob at? Rob, be here in Second Service, I haven't seen it. Your love has ravished my heart, it says. Listen to the lyrics of the song.
And taking me over, taking me over. All I want is to be with you forever, with you forever. You sing songs like that, I'm telling you. With all your heart, it says, pull me a little closer, take me a little deeper.
I want to know your heart because your love, listen, is so much sweeter than anything I've tasted. I want to know your heart. Have you ever been discontented with life and you just wanted more? Listen, sin will never fulfill or satisfy you completely.
It'll always leave you wanting more. It'll always leave you. You just want more. You want more.
You want more. But when you get to know his love, it's so much sweeter than anything that you could ever taste in this life. And you need to sing songs like that. You guys understanding this today?
You need to get your heart there and sing songs like that and understand lyrics. That just invite the presence of God in your life. Now I want to go back to what I said first at the beginning of the sermon. Because I know that everybody in here has probably struggled.
Listen, people who are prideful, I was prideful and sometimes I can still be. I think that a lot of pride is stemmed from a lack of self-worth. You think you're worthless and you're deep in your heart and you think you're trash. Nothing you do is right.
It's all wrong. So you put on this thing, you put your chest up and you walk around and you're just prideful. If you don't want anybody to know that secret. Whatever it is, low self-worth is a big thing.
I think it's one of the greatest of the enemy's weapons, is low self-worth. If the enemy can put you in a place where you're inferior and inadequate and you feel like nothing, that's what you're going to be. And you're not going to be able to do anything for God or do anything against the kingdom of hell. So it makes sense that that would be a great weapon for the enemy.
This is what the Bible says about your worth, Matthew 10, 29 through 31. It says, what is the price of two sparrows, one copper coin, but not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid.
You are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. Come on, that just almost made me weep right there. Not because I have no hair. But seriously, I try not to say a joke because this is real, guys.
We need to understand the value that we have in God's eyes. And we need to live like that. And we need to worship Him like that. Do you know what also lack of self-worth does?
It makes you feel like God don't want you in His presence. You can't come into His holy place. You better not. He'll strike you dead.
All the mistakes you've made and all the dumb things that you did. God don't want to have anything. See, the enemy's slack, isn't he? I want to encourage you, Church.
Get a lifestyle of worship in your life. Praise Him all day long, worship Him all day long. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God's awesome hands. So that makes you awesome.
I tell people, you're awesome all the time. I say, no, I'm not. God is. Well, God made you, didn't He?
He makes awesome things. You're awesome today. You're awesome. Somebody just hear everybody say, I'm awesome.
Say it. Yes. We need to walk around and confess that and let people say, you are so prideful. No, I'm not.
Not awesome because anything I did, I'm awesome because He created me awesome. This is just His creation living awesomely. That's all it is. We could worship Him for that.
We can praise Him for that, amen? Amen. I love you guys.