aliens and alien out welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilders guide to life. I'm Jesse. That's wilder. We're here to God your life.
Wow, they're having an important announcement. Okay Hey, it's hot. Yeah, you know, it's a summer the solstice has come and gone and it's rosy and toasty in Alameda right now I don't want to dox myself, but we're looking at a ball. We're at a balmy 76 degrees and 76 it's hot for me.
That's hot for me. I'm complaining at 76. Well, I went for a long bike ride this morning So I'm still kind of overheated God and thusly and I apologize to the listeners, but not to you because of this I I just got to come out and say it. Mm-hmm.
I ain't wearing a shirt right now. Oh Damn, dude, and you know, we didn't have to know that we didn't have to know that I think that the audience would have picked up on it. I don't know what's your tell I think it's a specific type of energy that I would have been I plan on bringing today as a result of my Costume change or left or what? You know what?
Let me pop it off too. I'm a boy. That's what I was hoping for damn Just a couple of boys with the titties out. Yeah, I just popped that I just popped that shirt right off.
No big deal. Oh, hell Yeah, dude, I feel I feel good about it. I feel strong about it. We maybe should have been doing this from the beginning Yeah, I mean prior to this.
I just been wearing no bottoms Mm-hmm. I've been wearing my podcast on but you know under my my khakis or my jeans whatever I'm wearing in the house that day It says no fib zone on it. Yes, no fib zone and now I'm just hanging it out, baby sick. Well, no fibs coming up This episode explain it to them and to me because I don't get it.
Okay. We're talking internet. You've been there You're probably on it right now That's where you got this podcast certainly you didn't come to our home and get a fucking SD card or whatever With the file on it I've served this in a time capsule and it's millions of years in the future And they were like what is the one who are the voices of the time that we have to put in this time capsule? Right, but you drop the internet what did work do some work no matter what right?
Because I got the file to you via internet and you probably did some internet shit to it like you like to do You put it in the in the ones and zeros you drop it into the matrix and let all them do their little nasty stuff to it And then it goes on to their your podcatchers at home So you know that even if it's a time capsule on a floppy disk we had the internet got its nasty little fingers all over it Yeah, I'm glad someone's finally given the internet some credit finally. I mean, okay actually. Let's do a quick poll Pull the room thumbs up thumbs down internet Thumbs up Yeah, it's a timid thumbs up though, isn't it like I mean we got like come on okay the internet has problems But like give me a breaking we need it. It's better than before we had it right for sure.
That's for sure But it is also bad right like that's I mean The internet is fine. It's just the little mongrels that that use it are not fine Right, but it gives the mongrels a little bit of a soapbox that they maybe wouldn't have other like what I mean is that like I can you know post something on Twitter my fault You know I shouldn't have I could post something on Twitter And then some do who I would have never otherwise interacted with or met could be like let me see them feet though And it's like nice that shouldn't have happened. I should have not ever this is a common problem for you Yeah, yeah, I get the I get a lot of DMS, you know, give me give me them fee I get you know what that mouth do I get a lot of sort of those vibes you Jesse McGrath first thing that pops up Jesse McGrath feet. Yeah.
Yeah, they're out there. I'm on wiki feet anyways Let's let's get into the internet. So let's start with the easiest one and it's social media I fucking toss them all I guess like what are we doing here toss them all I used to like Instagram I really did there was a time when I was like Instagram is great Those those were the days when people posted in real time remember that remember when you would like see a picture Someone had a bar and you're like oh, they're at a bar right now, right? But and that's not necessarily good because then you had there was an era Which like we're gonna sound so I don't know we have like a weird range of listeners But I think a lot of them are an art age range and we are uniquely positioned to have lived life entirely before the internet and also Have been here through its sort of infancy and I don't know adolescents I think we're still terrible terrible to as far as the internet goes.
Yeah, sure But the thing that you're talking about is cool But then you went through this era where everyone was posting and it still happens while you are out which does stink Yeah, you know what I mean? I feel like in those days if I did that that was 45 seconds to one minute of time, right? Boom, this is the ramen I'm eating right now. It's there.
Yes. Yes filter It didn't take like a long time to post because yes because you weren't like looking for the restaurant and chef to tag and you weren't Coming up with clever captions and try and get the right cash I know dude, that's fine. It's fine. It's fine influencers into merit.
Yeah, or what? Yeah, I was gonna say I was gonna put up as a one But yeah big to merit influence well social media is a is influencer So I'm gonna just put as a one there, but they are a demerit also influencer and influencer culture stinks So many of them in my fucking like media dinner days It was a lot of writers and influencers together and there are a few of you that are people But the rest of you are not people unfortunately, right? It's not your boss essentially. I can't wait until you have to get a job.
Holy shit. That's gonna be good Can I put memes a very pretty good yeah, I would love to talk about something go on I like a meme Okay, I don't like this is just a wabu specific pet peeve. I would prefer most of my communication Come in one avenue. I would like you to text me means I do not want them in my inbox and Instagram I don't want any messages on Instagram unless you're forwarding me an Instagram profile or something is this just me Can we say DMS are a one I hate them dog?
Yeah, because if I really wanted to communicate with you 99 times out of 100 you would have my number right so so a DM is that okay Continue start it. I have a couple people that just fucking load me up with forwards and it's a fucking email forward is what it is You know better than a fucking send this to 10 people by midnight I am putting email as a category and a forward slash chain is obviously I don't even know if those exist still Ellie be mom you sent me one this morning, but it's like it's the concerned ones She sent me what was supposed to be a reputable source about going to airports right now and every point had an emoji attached to it Oh, no, what was the point what point was being made? I didn't read it obviously. Oh Read that can I tell you something that I used to be like really anti it, but now I'm sort of vibing on it Is it email signatures?
No, I mean you core I don't yeah, you sort of have to have one if it's like not all right So what is it planning events via email? Oh you like it, bro? No, I don't but it's grown on me It used to be an absolute no and now I kind of feel like it just makes me kind of feel like I'm leaning into being old Oh, like if you like not like I'm a major event, but like hey, I'm having a bar queue you like that I can't explain it, but it's starting to appeal to me It's the same way when you're a stupid little 20 year old something and you're like a fucking divar you're 21 I'm going to a place where there are cool things no Thank you to dive bar and right 27 you're like no this is where I only want to be yeah I so it's tough because I don't have a better alternative other than like text and text is also challenging But I have to tell you the best to me that ever was for planning an event is was Facebook events. Yeah, dude Yes, those are the days.
It's just like you have the guest list you have a message board As a bonus point I'm gonna put Facebook events circa what would you say two thousand eight to two thousand eleven? No, I would give it an extent I would go to 2015 on that yeah, and that was truly excellent You guys when you throw all your dang house parties there was always some like fucking essay Yeah, I love having that bull inside jokes that shit. I didn't care for or need but damn It was convenient. You could see who was going it was so easy Holy shit your phone would be but the flip side of that coin you which you gotta give it to merit is Facebook I lost my phone number events That one felt like after college that sort of stopped so I want to say that ended circa 2011 or so Yeah, but damn dude that shit was a fucking disaster.
I had to do one once Also, I'm a good bum kind of a good way to get like a number that you didn't have right yeah For sure so okay, so I want to return to your original point I The best I can give planning an event over email is a two the very best and it's like a one point I just don't know what's that what's the best way to plan something now? No one's gonna use fucking Facebook. I don't even use Facebook I mean I think it's it depends on the size of the event but like what you're talking about like a little barbecue e-vite I I think of it's a text like I was in a jib jab. No dog.
I'm sending a text to 10 people Yeah, I mean hey y'all labor day come over. We're really novies. I love it Shout out friend of the show Ariana boss Ray who I don't know if she legally changed her name She just got married just Ariana She used to send invites she'd make like a little image that was an invite and just text it to people and I thought that shit is cool This counts sort of his email and then we can move off of the landing events Although it does feel like how we use the internet a lot. I Have some folks in my life who they do like a paperless post Which is kind of email.
Yeah, but I get weddings. Yeah, I mean I've been getting them for like birthday party They sent one and it's honestly great because I can just RSVP and then it gets audit automatically added to my calendar through my email There's no correspondence needed. I don't have to ask any questions They write a little paragraph like you used to at Facebook, but there's not a bunch of goofy jokes It's just like don't bring anything. We're starting at 430.
That's all fine You know that to me is like efficient whatever, you know you you spark something just now you said calendar. Yeah, I Live and die by my Google calendar. I mean everything in it But but do you know to invite me to a social event in a Google event invite? Oh, you don't like it unless it's like maybe like like a like a casual So like we're getting dinner don't fucking send me an invite for that.
Yeah, I'll do that with myself I'm gonna put that on my calendar. I'm not if it's especially if it's this week I will say that like I don't know sure sure sure sure Chelsea like we'll be like hey We have reservations for this really nice restaurant. I had to make them 30 days out. Here's a calendar invite.
Yeah Thank you. I do that with like yes meals in the future if I'm on vacation. I've got reservations reservations I just don't need like a hey you want to get dinner Thursday. Don't send me a fucking invite.
We're going to the taco truck, right? Okay, so I Said anything business related very quite late. I need that calendar invite. Yes, if you have a meeting and sometimes I'll still miss it I'll tell you that much.
I sometimes will slip on it I got the alerts I have the alerts to and sometimes I just No, no, no, no, I don't like them having my snack and quiet time I'm putting apps on here. Obviously that's phone specific But like there that is would you say 80% at least of how you use the internet? Yeah? Yeah, can we can we real quick just toss the major social media up onto that thing?
Yeah, absolutely I can't think of a very quite lit social media. Can you I have the best I can do is linked in dog Litt or they pay you to say that shit. No, no, but that's but that's the best I can do and that's still not a three to me It's kind of what I'm saying unless unless they're all it to and then I got to get Facebook a one now And I got to give honestly Instagram is begging me is begging me. Yeah, well that fucking they are owned by Facebook now So that's no dang surprise.
I hate the algorithm is the way that it is bro. I have a social media that I want to make a quick Argument I still think it's a two, but I think it's got a case. Mm-hmm Bro, do you fuck with next door at all? Oh?
I do I do love next door. I never And then I received 20 million emails that day and then I unsubscribed and then they said we're still going to send you 20 million Emails per hour for the rest of your life. Oh man, that's tough I do not know fan treatment because that shit was horrible see they send me this is the beautiful thing I don't even think I have next door on my phone. This is why I like it as social media I just every every like week.
I will get like a next door roundup And they just said be the best post in my area and that is fucking tight It's like a little newsletter shout out to this next door thing and it's I do dude It's all insane people and you know they are physically close to you It is a thrill to see people like in your neighborhood being like Like one person was posting for like three weeks of anyone had seen their parent and it was like dog if I saw your I would not have caught it and I would not have identified it nice try There's also a lot of people were like I met a mean dog on the street yesterday. Does anyone know this dog's name? It's like why do you want to know the dogs sounds like you didn't meet him that well? If you didn't know his name name no, so I love next door for those purposes I've never posted it is strictly observation, but I'm gonna give it to because it is a menace for sure and people do bad things on next I would give Twitter to Yeah, for me for me tick-tock is a one.
I just don't get it though Like I'm not here to make a judgment on tick-tock and people love it I just like fucking don't get it dude Yeah, and I think a lot of people would say it's a three It has a lot of it has a lot of traction with folks the algorithm is friendly to people It is like the most time consuming one in both bad in good ways the thing that bugs me about tick-tock is something that we should also Toss in social media and it's a one is like Overused joke format I can't with the crying laughing emoji gang. It's I can't yeah, that's you're not doing that You know, I think we could just toss emojis as like a two somewhere. I guess oh, bro. I got a I got a three I don't know where it goes.
It's an app bitmoji There's no way we haven't talked about bitmoji like a hundred times Please share your bitmoji with us on social media on Twitter at JW good honestly Yeah, we'll do a post I promise we always talk about posting we never do it We'll post our bitmoji's because we do love to share them and then we could get a bit moji going in the chat So yeah, I love those fucking end my sour mood on a drop of a dime Yeah, I think so stop a stop on a dime drop of a hat dude. Yeah, you got drop the hat not the dime You need the time for later to stop on no, I'm dropping dimes like Chris Paul Can we put space book Instagram in one I look to me? It's a hellhole. I'm gonna put me to lose Oh my god, oh my god.
Oh my god. I don't know fuck. We need another category whatever this next category is crypto and God fucking demerits. Yeah, it might be a demerit might be a demerit I mean, so what about like we do like websites of the category?
We can't be doing that no, I don't think well Yes, yes, we are because I'll give you I could come on now You know, I'll fire off a couple of you know exactly what I mean auto playing anything on your website very don't quite give me an Auto play on your website, please hate it. That means music that means video Let me control my own destiny, please. Yes, the I'll give you some for websites I love which maybe they didn't innovate this but this is and this is boring But it's true do the little hamburger the little three horizontal lines and we all just know that as a menu now That's tight. Yeah, shout out to that guy who's not collecting any royalties.
Yeah for sure for sure menu hamburger It's pretty sure it's called okay. You love that. You love that. Yeah, I'll tell you what I don't need ever ever And I I've been a part of a group that has a website that has this very thing I never need log log and I never need a Staff page about us.
I don't our story fucking care. Oh my god our story our story if your story is a little It's just to feed me your food, right? restaurant. That's what your story is.
Yeah, put it on the back of your menu like fucking black beer Diner and when I'm waiting for my so we pop I'll read it. That's it I Yeah, blogs are never gonna go away because that's what we'll use for like SEO Yeah, I gotta cut let me fire off a couple more. Yeah, I do have a very quite live site though for you real quick hit me early 2000s Things that I like to watch like e-bombs. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about yeah I'm gonna say early 2000s comedy grounds calmity web.
Yeah, new grounds e-bombs rotten all the hits Yeah, guys Shut up group X shout out like fucking 55 and end of the world 55 all of those things have really Because I think because they came about in a time when there was such a not overflow of content constantly coming at you Just remember when there wasn't that much content that sounds made up dog Yeah, like if y'all if you are one of our listeners who's like a teen or whatever you probably think we're crazy Yeah, you but you would just fire up fucking like this the new manuma guy once a fucking week Little bit of a shock that rain for you. Oh my god. Nothing nothing nothing even close There was another you were watching fucking salad fingers or whatever the fuck yeah home star runner these days You got you got the guy your chokes on his boba and that's about it for me We got we got Mufasa singing the Friday song But those also gang there was a time when meme was even more specific of a term It was like remember when it was like character specific characters. Yeah, it was like the raptor was one of them Yeah, and like yeah, exactly the kid the kid I'm gonna put early 2000s comedy into content.
Yeah Just the internet of the early 2000s. Yeah, you too It's just like in wild to me when you saw it was like oh look I'm on the internet You know it's like being on TV that was the other thing is like there was only websites dog there was no I wasn't checking email There was no apps. There was no social media. I will say this.
Oh, oh, oh, I think I have the very quiet lit social media Yo, live dream a mnstit messenger. Okay. Oh, this is yeah I mean I it's too bad. I have absolutely no sense of our demographic because it's just texting now like that's what we Little bit it was a little bit it's I think there's a little bit more to it because you have to add away messages, right?
Oh, yeah is crucial all my office quotes and stuff, but I yeah I mean I was definitely doing this before I had a phone right right right so it replaced texting replaced it But it there was an element to it that wasn't Quite the same as texting it's also because we were in middle school drop your SN bro, dude. I had two yeah first I started off mick Jess dog Then swung for the fences hard. I said that was no good. Let me read up fly daddy J Mac.
Come on now. Say it with me What did you have something cool? Yeah, first of all it was w rv J 2000 that is wilder my dog Rocco my dog Vinny my rat Jake Because it's been that year I guess Bitch and then I had this thing where I was like I was really into the word obey. I thought that was a funny word We love words whenever that age right we get attached My you check this out it was obey ducce and chilla.
Oh fuck yeah, cuz I could not fit the I had to go duh duh dude just like Jack the guy shot did shout out wrote oh Never in my life. You have like um you could have like fonts and shit you could have like colors and Yeah, dude shit that we have now, but like we don't appreciate is what I think what I think looks fucking stupid That's why I think it looks fucking stupid anyone that's an adult doing things that I was doing when I was fucking 12 years old Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, but the other so the other fucking fly ass thing about aim And then we'll stop talking about this because there is at least like ten people listening are like what the fuck are they on about? Yeah, isn't is that you didn't have it with you always right?
So it's like if you only got to text when you were logged into a fucking computer in your house That was the initial thrilling thing about Facebook notifications, right? We have an app for that we had right right right right I Can I get a quick shout out to my space a little too can we throw my space it too? Yeah Too much drama bro top eight drama there was a lot of drama and there was too much like web design involved You don't have some people shit and there would be like you big wait a minute is this the same thing? I'm on how so you you when live journal and zenka I didn't use live journal and I I remember as a kid thinking Even and maybe this is just because I was a pessimist but I actually still and you know like a little I was a little pre-teen like But I still think about this way is that like journals are for you this is for attention bro, but it's live I know it's for attention and I just thought that was the bunkish shit alive to be like to see some girl in my class writing Clearly about boyfriend the same thing as a blog right right so I'll give it a do you want to give it a two?
It's a one to me. I don't fucking care about it. I gotta give it a to Z tumbler is that a two I loved I love tumbler back in the day you honestly all I'll give it a three I Can't so the thing is tough people are still out here using tumbler shout out to rich Jeff that dude is all in tumbler still He's the last one I had a I had a good I had a good thing on with tumbler I think that they got so I want to put in parentheses tumbler when we used it because I think they got into labor I know I know it is I think that they got into trouble because they like removed all the porn from tumbler and Everyone was like but they were pissed dude. They were like but we know that porn is not but because the thing is which is true Tumbler didn't have an algorithm You know like you wouldn't you don't see in porn if you didn't want to see porn So it's kind of like why are you removing this thing that doesn't bother anybody like Twitter after dog Yeah, like the little filthy Twitter all of it Except for I wasn't ever looking at porn on table.
I was looking at cool Legos and fan theories Yeah, and like gifts of the office. Yeah, yeah, it's a yes. Yeah, so tight Websites I want to get a shout out. This is we're just gonna be old dudes today I know it should be no no let's get into apps because that's gonna that's gonna I think give us back on track with Website we're about to drop I was gonna say crack.com.
You ever read any crack articles there are Sprews 7,000 words. Yeah, they were the longest fucking article and it would be like here's how the pics are universe and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Universe are definitely linked and you're like oh this must be two paragraphs. No, no, no, no. It is a novella I got another very quite lit.
I'm sorry. It's another early 2000s thing But like it is and this might be social media if I'm being honest about it forums you ever get the forums Oh, I think that goes under that's like reddit too, right? We call it reddit forums basically. Yeah, and I do not read it I haven't read it.
It's fucking so confusing to me. I don't understand how everyone uses it It's the most most not user-friendly interface that I think I've ever seen I know and Chelsea loves it And she's like read it interface they do and like there is I mean in the same way as Tumblr It's really like there's something for everyone. I mean there's there's read it's for fucking every yeah And it seems great. I'm constantly like finding them via Google if I have a good question about something.
Yes always always I don't know how the replies work, right? I don't understand I feel like I don't see the replies to things I have a I'm gonna put forums as a two because it is like it feels like you're in the mud a little bit You right and what about Pinterest? Oh my god, dude. I don't know anything about Pinterest It's been explained to me 40 times and every time I'm like so is it like this and then the person explaining it says no Yeah, and sometimes I'll be like did you buy that on Pinterest and they're like you don't buy stuff on Pinterest I'm like what I think very similar recently But then I've recently heard someone say oh I got this off of Pinterest and I'm like I thought you couldn't get things I think they mean like inspiration Pinterest only good that they have on offer is inspiration.
Okay, okay, okay, but can I make the argument for a three There is as to my estimation zero toxicity on Pinterest. I don't fucking know dude Like my little dog cupcakes and somebody pops in is like actually fuck those cupcakes There's probably a Pinterest board for like only things that dudes should drink or whatever oh Word yeah, okay, that's fair. Yeah fair fair fair and there is a lot of corny shit on there sure fucking people in this world could be trusted That's a lot of live laugh love energy on Pinterest. I believe yeah, why mom What kind of apps you got to talk about I'm gonna put pictures of it too just because we don't know anything about it We cannot speak on it already Okay apps ride sharing apps I have to give them a two they are shitty uber shitty lift shitty their bad companies I Have to tell you For me their threes But yes, but it's at what cost my brother the cost is worth it.
Do you remember life before them? Okay, but yeah, okay I do like especially like Los Angeles for example Oh their entire livelihood to that shit because like I got back from San Francisco after college like right before uber dropped And I was like how the fuck am I supposed to go anywhere like there's no there's no public transit right only go to bars I can walk to LA is like the I mean you really need it there It's shocking that it wasn't even developed there like it somehow came out of the bay, but yeah, it's it's I can't I can't live life without it Okay, here are my two big hang ups one. It's obviously very bad More every text every company right it's true. It's true.
Here's my other hang up and this is another man We are fucking old in this episode my god just popping our shirts off talking about the old days Couple of last time you talked about you bombs world without a shirt dude. I mean I didn't have hair on this chest. I'll tell you that much Listen though. Here's my other thing and this is another thing close your ears teens and 20 year olds because Remember what uber every uber somehow was like $11 over that Yeah, so like here's my part of my issue is that like I it's not Decidedly not that and not just because of like gas prices and COVID like before all that shit No, we can't live without there was a time though at the beginning where we didn't even know what it was gonna cost dog They didn't have that fucking price listed for you Oh my god I mean you want to talk about the beginning remember when you get into the the back of someone's like 91 Ascape with your life if you are lucky.
I remember the first the first one that actually listed the price It was a third party app called side car and I drove for side car because it made you like this little it gave you like a little bidding situation Where you could be like I don't everyone else is charging 10 bucks for a ride on the charge nine right now Or you could be like I'm driving my mom's Escalade. I'm gonna charge 15 for this ride Jesus everyone couldn't get enough of it side car went out of business. I'm still pretty freaking needed about it Yeah, there's like a trillio those that went out a bit There was like when I first moved to New York City There was it felt like there was a new one every month that would be like download this app and get three free rides And I was just cycling through and baby I was on fucking newbie and side car and fucking like hard streets or some shit like all of it I was like yeah, give me this 30% discount them all see you never I'm gonna try to stay I'm gonna try to say contemporary Here mobile games it's a three to me for yeah, it's a three and like I just probably done this before but just wanna give a quick Shout out because I'm a binge mobile game person for sure like all rail a game for like three or four months and they never touch it again Yeah, there's one game that I've been playing for just about 10 years. It's two dots, baby This man loves his dots.
Yeah, he loves his dots And I just want to say that everyone should play this game and support them and like buy some of the in that purchases support them It's a free game. They're the best game. Oh, okay So I'm gonna put this so I agree with you mobile games a three because they're easy to ignore and they're also awesome If you want them like you're waiting for your car or just what any sort of waiting it's there. Yes, yes You're pooping you're waiting you're you're in all wing.
It doesn't matter. Here's I want to tag on that content the Internet has given us so much Like quote indie content right that I would have never ever had access to like like games is a great example It but so is like the dumb like movies and memes we're talking about right like I love that I get to see something that like like I think like starting Valley is a great example Not necessarily that like that would have happened without the Internet Like like one person made that game and then because they were able to get funding and all that shit It made it's way to the Internet and then it made its way to my heart. Yeah Same thing with like indie like fan films like not saying they're all great But like it's awesome that you could see I mean if we want to take it back Like when it used to be like YouTube was all like narrative short narrative films that you and your friends made yeah for real Yeah, so I think indie content is a three to me. I found it.
Okay. I thought of another social media. That's a three dude I'm fine, bro. Fine.
Oh, rip perfect platform And I found I also thought of one that's a one that we didn't list Snapchat. It's a one to me It's yeah, it's a it's a nothing to me because I did I did not I wouldn't everyone told me to I logged in once I had like hundreds of messages when people that were trying to get me just in on it It's sucked and then as soon as I even started considering to use it Instagram start doing it too So what is the fucking point? Yeah, I'm not interested in that shit. They do I have students were like you broke my shit You broke our snap streak or whatever to their friends.
I'm like it's like you it's like they you get streaks It's just like a thing where like you basically be any Each other fight it once a day. Yeah, oh my god, you know, oh, we can't though We can't give them very not quite lit dog. I know you're gonna say because they folded in bitmoji. Yes because they are bitmoji And I got person I do a personal beef with Snapchat Because you work for a competing company that's all they're at them off and then they've ripped us off.
Yeah Yeah, it's a it's feels like a punishment anytime I get an email Yeah, I got I got a good email actually I got one for you going I like my I like all my tracking information about that your travel information I love that when I make a purchase online which we can talk about also a little bit, but I love getting me No, I love getting my email because it's like saved in there pretty easily I mean, I guess like now we can search our text fairly easily, but I love I love to use my email inbox as like a you know Oh, what was my flight number? Let me just go in there and look. Oh, what was the tracking number for that thing? I ordered oh that's calendar for me.
Oh, yeah word. Okay. Yeah, fine. I think that that stuff is sometimes there's good emails You get a job can I tell you a Right yeah Actually, it's a it's a one maybe birthday email dude I hate them and sometimes they got goodies in there I hate them nonetheless like someone emails you for your birthday.
No the companies. Oh the fucking companies I ever gave my birthday to you're like You click every single one though aren't you going to click every single one of course a dollar off Dunkin donuts I still want it. That's what's infuriating about it. It's like for your birthday There's a tree and you go in and it's like $2 off your next purchase $2 Take me as a poor no Sometimes there's the goods.
There's the good good though. Do you want birthday emails as a to dude? I hate that It's a discount. I'm not gonna no discount is a very not quite I wanted to hit some more apps because I've got about 40,000 of them on my phone roughly my phone is a mess I don't know how your how your phone look vis-a-vis clutter, but I got too too much shit Thank you for asking my phone much like my Google workspace is incredibly organized and very carefully folded up Good for you.
Some may say this is an obsessive compulsive trait. I say it is convenient Okay, I'm gonna say okay I'm gonna fire some off on the start with a lame one and I think this goes with apps the Google suite of products dude They fuck I don't know what to tell you guys dog. I'm a dog. I'm a committed to Yeah, I'm committed to making Google my home for all things work world.
Yeah, they've it has better than alternatives done and done I cannot say enough good things about Google calendar truly I got another a plus app and it's another one that's gonna make us sound old and it goes with Google But like really any navigation app dude. Oh my god remember printing map quest dogs I delivered pizzas in a pre GPS world Upstairs to the office wrote down the directions onto a piece of paper that I saw on map quest and Fucking went out driving through the valley as a fucking little 16 year old kid the thought of that now gives me like a real anxiety Treble yeah, and sometimes you have like multiple orders and you like which I'm just gonna assume that I go to this house first I think I know this area right right. Damn you postmates don't know how good you have it truly truly so that that's a huge one I'm gonna say like Life apps by which I mean like your bank your credit card your medical stuff and dog. It's a three to me like those are cash money Yeah, I like my wallet and I can also like guys androids I'm sure it's like a better phone and I'm sure the camera is good and I'm sure that like the fucking process or shadows of the Blue the best process got him.
I don't care. I don't fucking care is it easy to use does it make my text green? No, and yes, so fuck off Okay, um, I'm gonna put Mmm-hmm. This is very big every app like what do we do no no no I'm saying like life apps whether no I mean That is come on though.
What are we talking about no that goes in life apps to me? That's like yeah, what I mean my life apps is like stuff that you previously had to like seek out Something physical like a newspaper, you know to do that shit Right, so like I would lump in like you know like having a movie time app Like if you have a fucking fandango app or whatever like that is tight because you just have to call a number Yeah, you know I think that the whole thing with the app store I think the app store is a very quite lit app You know the old slogan isn't out for everything there really is and that has been so useful to me and just countless fucking situations Yeah, I'm counting yelp is it I mean maybe it's a website but fuck yelp fuck anyone that eats at a restaurant goes You know, I should tell everyone what I yeah and like You fix this no bad reviews the place with the most good reviews is the best yeah, it's easy It's easy only of I mean like it's like that Twitter is literally removing maybe the Singular like positive thing it had where you couldn't dislike things You don't like them or ignore them and now that's going away But like yeah, just make it so I like things that's fine I also think that these websites should have if you went to a restaurant and you're reviewing it You should have to attach a copy of a photo of the receipt I don't think you should be able to fucking review a restaurant if you have not eaten at it or if you went in and got like a Side of fries and a soda pop like yes I'm sorry that is not an accurate depiction of this Italian restaurant that you went to you big freak I have a very not quite lit and even though we both use it a lot I will not budge on it and it's Airbnb they simply are doing very bad bad very horrible bad things to worry And now at this point bro, what was the time you you were at one? Yeah, not not super easily because much like uber they've gone up in price and you know what else they've gone up in Go on fucking chores dude. Oh my oh Yeah, it's cool.
Oh, brother. I hear you like if you wouldn't mind stripping the bed and taking out all the trash and taking them off the prop With the fucking wedding I was at a couple weekends ago They were staying in an Airbnb where they had to remove the trash from the premises strip all the beds and sheets and put them in the washing machine Gang I'm going to a hotel. Are you out of your fucking minds? Especially since like it's not like we just recently not recently But we had a similar experience one of the last year of years we went to and it was like we're staying in like a cabin in the woods Which you can't get with a hotel, right?
That's the selling point. It's an experience blah blah blah great It like rained a little bit we stopped by the fire It was cool and then the only to strip it down and the fucking washing machine was outside in like a shed and we Take all the way to strip the beds and put that shit in and it's like dogs. I'm paying so much for this already Oh, yeah, I'd question what happened if you didn't right? Well, I think they leave you a stinky review, but I don't know what else right and it doesn't matter like I don't know I think I've already I've definitely already told you the story you know the hook for more money or anything, right?
No, no, not at all. I'm not doing that anymore Yeah, lock it in baby. Just throw that shit in the garbage. Give it's also this fucking house when they arrived at it the cleaning lady had Not arrived at it yet made a sit downstairs.
Yes clean the house. I've had the same experience I mean I this is just whatever Airbnb go fuck yourself. Yeah, go eat a mountain of my shit They the last time I tried to use an Airbnb. I think I told you this they canceled 24 I mean they canceled two hours before I was getting on a plane to Phoenix And it's because that they're the last the last ten it had apparently made such a mess that it would not be ready for a day And I was like cool.
So what are you guys gonna do for me? And they did? nothing they Did not offer me any place to stay neither the host nor Airbnb even though this host was like one of those super hosts that basically owns a hotel Yeah, super dick. Yeah, right super fucking super jerk.
Oh, dude. Yeah fucking jerks, dude And then everything was like we'll give you a forty eight dollar credit But you have to use it within the next three months and you have to use it on a stay. That's more than four hundred and fifty dollars That's so fucking preposterous. Yeah, I don't eat all of my poo poo and yeah to suck every day I can see that's there be everyone talk about the shit that used to be for hours But I don't know what else is happening on the internet these days, bro.
Well, I got some I got some content I want to toss out yet We both have our like good time videos our videos. We love that the well of good videos. I think that's memes unfortunately That's the same thing. I don't know do you think so?
I think it's all memes is all things now means is all things All right. Well put that on a shirt memes is all Things okay, well then all I'll give you some content I mean we talked about this a little bit in social media, but let's go through some like content We engage with real quick. I'm a two on how to videos. What do you where do you lay on how to videos?
Oh, I think there are three what's what's to be I mean they people that they get to do them are fucking nightmares But I can't dog University of YouTube class of forever over here because every single time out how to do something There is a Russian guy on YouTube that I can barely understand that will tell me how to do it I guess like I just I just wish it was written I don't really want to watch a video and the thing that sucks about a video is that like this happened to me literally this morning I was trying to figure out like a tech issue I There's nothing worse than the feeling of having like a frustrating issue trying to solve and watching a four minute video and realizing oops I already tried all those solutions. I guess I'll go watch another one. Oops. This is a different problem than the one I have It does suck.
I also I'm always looking for something in like list form just like boom do this boom do this Yes, but sometimes videos are objectively better to help you solve a problem, right sure sure But I love I actually love that all those videos and honestly most of YouTube there's no middle ground It is either like incredible production value where there like clearly is like a ring light and they have like a very like cool Opener and like everything's put together well or it's like some dad wearing a fucking GoPro And he's like so what you want to do and he's like talking so loud and the audio is horrible and someone's in the background He's like yeah, you're gonna get the wrench and you're gonna get it right under the shaft Parking yeah, yeah dogs in the background you ever seen a fucking like gameplay footage video of a video game on YouTube That wasn't narrated by someone from like Northern England. Yeah, it is That is like the most I engage with coming to me channel. I just want to show you a good. Hey everybody I heard you are looking for someone to solve the real and Yeah, so it has to be to me it has to be a two for all that and we didn't even mention that sometimes much like recipes, bro Get cut the fluff baby.
I don't want to hear about I've been playing Xbox for about 70 72 months now and I've had a really great time with it. I love absolutely love Skyrim I hate it. It's a video about my controller, but that said I do want them there I need them all I like they're they're providing a very useful service Yes, but they could be better couldn't they they could be lists and they could not have like a lot of royalty-free music up front I hate to tell you but it is the year 2022 and words are out to talk there the people have spoken They do not want words they want videos and they want fine I'll do fucking how to videos fucking three I but that's not my opinion I think there are two and I wish that they were better at their job in general obviously a one to me I get that like whatever you have to do it like and subscribe the literal phrase like and subscribe It's tossed to me. Yeah, it's gotta be gone That's it like in subscribe to our show though big time do you will you do a lot of you read reviews online?
I'm calling this content you like reviews of anything not just restaurants because I feel like we obviously yell But I love to hit I love to hit the ruddy tees But I don't really base decisions off of that I just like to know yeah Yeah, yeah I my general go to for reviews is I'll hit the Wikipedia section of like a movie for example and see like in There's usually a section called like reception and it's like it got positive reviews, right? But I do love but but either way, it's great that it's available to you Right like I to me reviews is a three because and and I feel like you're talking about like food and art things that could be like a little bit More subjective, but I like do if I'm buying like new headphones You better believe I am in the weeds for for sure days looking at like CNET new way. I'm watching videos I'm watching I love when you're you're on like a company's website and it's like check out with the reviews say and like the first one is a bad one It's like dog. This is your website.
You don't have to clean this up if you want. Yeah Clean it up doesn't work as expected. Okay. I'm on a hit the next website.
Yeah, cool Yeah, so reviews I think are a three and I and I like really prefer The professional reviews obviously like somebody who works at fucking CNET or like a you know this person's a food critic But I like who am I to say that I haven't Someone who has written opinions for the right they do not have the good people on it I can assure you right right but I don't even mind I mean Yelp is dog shit obviously, but I don't even mind an Amazon situation Where it's like yeah, I'm just buying a USB thumb drive and this one has six hundred reviews and it's four and a half overall I don't need to read them. I just know that people have tried it and it hasn't exploded in their computer. Great. I do hit the Amazon Like how many reviews how many of them are good situation?
Yes? Yes? Yes? We a couple years ago a friend of ours invited asked invited me asked me over to help build her bed frame and It did not fit together and we were like where did you get this?
She was like I got on Amazon if we were like well strike one is maybe buying important for an Amazon But let's see let's see what people have to say about it If this was an issue others had because that's the other cool thing about the reviews is like you know Oh, yeah, other people experience this whatever It had like four reviews Even find a product on Amazon.com the website that had four reviews We we got a we got a Amazon. I know it I know it's a two I know it's gotta be it is it's so Fucking convenient. It sucks. You just can't sometimes you really I've had plenty of situations where it's like I really have no other choice I am generally not trying to hit Amazon for everything.
Yeah, like god damn dude. I just I who else is gonna subscribe to trash bags for me It's well and here okay that one is kind of an excuseable. You could get trash bags anywhere. I'm my feet No, here's my this is I've gone on this a bunch of times, but it's Not on me the consumer babies.
I get that it's bad And I try my very best to buy my trash bags at you know morally uncorrupt businesses like target like I don't fucking know What targets up to but whatever yeah, I can't be held responsible for Bezos is fuckery You know like I don't know what to tell you when I need a fucking like a new kitchen knife And I don't want to spend you know ninety five dollars at Sir LaTob I just need something because I'm going camping and you like one that's gonna be we could throw away when we're done Yeah, dude, it's gonna be your one day and fifteen dollars. It sucks I'm gonna throw it away sometimes you're like you're like going somewhere and you're like I do not have time to leave the house today I but this will be delivered tomorrow and then I leave tomorrow. You just got it's just there for you It's fucking it provides an unparalleled service and the fucking repercussions of that service are horrible and that is all of it That's it. That's it.
I'm gonna put I don't think that you get jiggy with this as much as I do almost certainly there's no way The electronic bay that eBay dude, I'd kind of love it I haven't spent time at the bay for in at least ten years. What were you buying on the bay before though? I got a no basketball cards. Yeah, dude probably used Nintendo 64 games.
Uh-huh Just kind of like shit. I don't know sometimes you just get on it's like 7-eleven. You go. You don't even know what you want Dude, it's see what's up.
It's like a yard sale where you can find exactly what you want Yeah, I don't really need to be convinced about eBay But like you know, you know who had a eBay addiction. L.E.B. Rick Shaw. Rick Shaw tell me.
What's he buying? What's that perfect? I had it bad. He was buying what fucking ever My mom got banned from eBay for a bit.
Oh Her rating only only one or two plus isn't that a plus plus she did she only did one transaction and she bought a fucking swimsuit Which is already you can't guys electronic bay is a three But please don't buy clothes unless you're like a speaker head I guess is wild or like if you're buying like a vintage like a I don't know a fucking no no Don't buy clothes on eBay. No, no, I was gonna say like if you're if you're like three store clothes, right? Like so like if you feel like a dank, I don't know you're a big fucking Florida Marlins fan and there's a sick like like Like jacket, you know, I just I can't get over it. Where's that from?
Who's right? It's fair. It's fair My mom bought a children's swimsuit and it was the wrong size and she was like oh actually I I don't want this It's the wrong size. I'm not gonna pay for it and they were like no no no no you have it you must pay for it now She's like well I want to return it.
They're like no no this is the electronic bay once we Yeah, so they went ahead and kicked her from that but she didn't pay for that swimsuit We didn't even talk about food delivery apps I think in the same vein as Amazon they have to be a two right or they won no I think they have to be a two like I'll tell you like as as I also did this during the pandemic a great source of extra money for People that were suddenly laid off for their jobs in any situation even though like yeah, they squeeze you I don't know Dog every time someone's like oh, they're making the whole foods employees work on Thanksgiving It's like they do work at Whole Foods I mean, it's a job. You just have to sometimes jobs are bad and like you should try to get a less bad job Right, right you work for a thing. That's the deal like you agreed to the deal It just sucks that they yeah, they kind of squeeze every last drop out of both the workers and like I don't know That's the stuff that comes out about how like the cut that like grub hub takes from restaurants is so it's fucking vile Podcast has got to be a two right for content. That's internet content Our podcast yeah is a bonus point or like is it a one?
I've heard it. It's a big subject. We might do it part two one day. We could yeah, we end up talking about a lot of the same shit Unfortunately, but there's just so much I mean we didn't even talk about unboxing videos dude.
You even think about that. Oh, no I won't wait. I do have a good one. I think it's a three content I'm sorry dude when people put together like any amount of like highlight video or like you know like clips from a show Like here's all the best like Jim pranks in the office Oh, yeah super cuts are good And I have to tell you that there was a time in my life when it was always there for you and that's fail Compilations and all those people are dead for sure they all died Like the chive and shit I think it sucks when the chives on and anywhere because I can't not look at it But if you actually need that it's nothing can top it.
You know what I mean? Yeah, it is yeah It is yeah, it's fucking glue for your eyes. You cannot resist. I used to really hit some fail compilations Yeah, when I work security and I would just be sick It's a dated term now to Jesus Christ.
Oh I think like internet slang is a lot. Yeah, but we do it all the time like ironically. I know we can't be the people I just hate it. What about co-op video games.
Is that the internet? Oh gaming online? Yeah, that's a that's a mmm I was really quick to pull the trigger on three and now I am way dude. No way to get back a little bit Well, yeah, I mean convince me it's not a one but like it's fun.
But like a lot of problems there Yeah, I mean, okay, it really depends on like how you use it Which is the same for all of this right like I think we put Twitter as a two many people would say no There's no way Twitter is a one. It's a viable place. How about this online gaming to online gaming headset one come on This is like we're the worst people in the world aren't speaking to no, but there's some look at somebody who's in it Dude, I know you're not in it like me in the fucking trenches dude But there's a dog wearing these little fucking Jim Halpert in a Call of Duty world I don't know what to do about it. Yeah, but that's the thing is like don't forget that fucking Rashida Jones was in there Too, right?
No, she wasn't that fucking it helps you there too. What she's yeah dude was up in that Yeah, I'm like with the sniper rifle at close range. That's right dude. Yeah, so like come on There's I mean there's I mean truly just a I mean what I don't have to be sincere on this dumb fucking podcast But there's people who just like have carved out such a nice little community on the internet where it's like You know they like they play I don't know rocket league together And that's it that's their fun thing that they do with all their friends and they're so non-toxic and non-competitive Like sometimes they run into toxic people, but that's they know how about fandom is it is a demerit?
Oh, yeah, because it is really I mean obviously existed before the internet, but boy what the internet has done to it is Hellhole gang. I'm a such a huge Star Wars fan and there's not a group of people in the world I hate more than Star Wars fans. I think content though. Can I put fan theories as a two I sometimes like them Oh, I love them everyone that guy that wrote that thing about how every Pixar movie was in the same universe Yeah, that's great, but that but sometimes I don't know I guess fan theories sometimes I'm like Are you I guess we can still put it as a fun sometimes it just gets into that that toxic fandom a little bit where it's like my Fan theory is that the first three Star Wars movie canon?
There was no black people in them or whatever. Yeah, but yeah, but okay Okay, and theory fine. I mean there was a crazy one Sometimes they're all good read like right before the newest trilogy of Star Wars movies came out Someone wrote this thing about how the charge our banks was the mastermind behind everything and I was vibing on that yeah I I Mean shout out again the master of all fan theories tumblr baby. That's what you found them all Mm-hmm.
That was like people would just be like real quick Here's 600 words on how Christian Bales character in the dark knight is the same as his character in the American psycho film and you're like Okay, I just remembered I wrote one on fucking tumblr. Yeah, dude Yeah, that is the end I got a sick theory and I'm a that I found the other day off sending your way It's about the teenage we did shuttles. Oh, yeah, it's okay You have any okay, could you want to say one like nasty thing? I have I want to say one nasty thing, but you have to also say a nasty thing to don't fucking Lute me into your little pervert scheme.
What are you gonna say about a type of video? I want to watch it's not porn It's not porn we it's funny that we haven't really I we talked about porn on tumblr We didn't list porn, but okay. We'll say what your nasty thing is okay. I'm sorry.
I'm gay. I'm sorry I do I occasionally and I don't do this often. I would say once every four years I can't even imagine what you're about to say I do watch some like blackhead Like sometimes I get yeah, I can't it's so gross It's so gross, but like sometimes oh pops up in like a recommend it like if it if the thumbnail catches my eye or whatever It's like a I sort of gotta go down that road. I don't want to watch like a big explosive people pop Okay, that's disgusting, but like a black I don't know dog I just can't I mean they're on there for a reason there's dozens of us it has to be it has to be a two because It's your nasty thing.
It's now you say your nasty thing Pimple popper video dog a two to me. There's like a whole show. Yeah, there's a whole show It's on tiktokabunch like it's around people like it like popping a pimple that was great Like it's it's really just the blackhead game. I know but they call it game I think but the the nomenclature is that's just the you're part of the pimple popper community damn that sucks That's the community.
I'm trying to be part of your apologies any YouTube video that's longer than what two minutes is a very Not quite lit what is your professional? I mean it depends I guess but what is the video at all dog any video at all It's unlike if I'm gonna watch something that's long I am planning on it to sit down and watch it like an episode of television You know yeah, which I don't want to do for a YouTube Do not send me a video that's longer than two minutes like I'm borderline want to say that video I've talked about this for sure yeah We have video essays quote video essays is a borderline one to me and people enjoy them and some of them are neat Like I've seen really good like sports ones where it's like let me break down like you know How many clutch shots this person made and what how that whatever adds value to blah blah blah? I can't just toss all long videos, but I can toss being sent along with it do not send me I will seek it out I like to hit I do like to hit highlight reels I'm a big fire up some like Alan Iverson highlight real type of person right right right right okay So don't sending someone along which I guess is content a sent long video Out of here. I'm sorry that I don't have a nasty thing like you do you little preverb?
Oh god I'm sure you got some nasty thing I can't believe that part about my graph that like you goes you buys all these socks on only fans But only so I can give them to children in need sucka all right. That's enough. We could talk more about it We won't though we refuse and that's it. Thank you to Los Angeles, California Representing thank you to New York, New York, you don't live there anymore.
So something must be wrong. Yeah. That's a big issue Area. Thank you to Shai Town.
Thank you to H Town and thank you to Boston. So sorry about your lost in oh Got him our number two country as always Perfect, thank you to Adam Fafer the heart. Thank you to bad Todd for the music. Thank you to Wilder's dad Rich off for buying cool stuff on eBay.
Yeah, send him away boy And if you don't got the munch forget about my crunch