The Love Fern, The Lies & The Masturbation Math

Send us Fan MailIn this week’s chaotic-but-iconic instalment, Jasmin and Cherie bravely attempt to recap How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days — but naturally detour through Kmart fatigue, Werther’s lollies, Princess Sophia, diamond-account capitalism, and whether naming your penis a girl’s name is a tool for heterosexual continuity or just emotional damage.They debate who the real villain of the film is (the magazine industry? Andy? Ben? The cop with the gender-bias ticket?), play an unhinged round of “Two Mooses and a Lie,” expose their celebrity encounters (yes, Charlie Sheen touched the small of someone’s back), and uncover the world’s first philosophical link between masturbation and incest. You’re welcome.Featuring: – Thirsty Merc backstage tea – A near-proposal that was actually a metal song – Deep rom-com psychology analysis – The Love Fern’s criminal arc – Cherie’s legal case for the clingy friendIt’s unfiltered, unhinged, unexpectedly heartfelt, and definitely not safe for work — unless your workplace is Kmart.