The Love I Spent My Life Looking For

What is love—and where do we first learn whether we are worthy of receiving it?In this deeply personal and immersive solo episode of Soul Sync, I take you back through my own search for love: from the circumstances surrounding my birth and the absence of my biological father, to growing up gay at a time when hiding who I was often felt safer than being seen.With music, sound and recreated memories, we travel into my first experience of London’s gay scene at sixteen, when the Astoria offered a glimpse of freedom, belonging and the extraordinary feeling of discovering that I was not alone.But being desired is not always the same as being loved.I reflect on the years I spent looking outside myself for acceptance—through relationships, sex, achievement and the approval of others—and how low self-worth eventually contributed to relationships in which I accepted far less than I deserved.I also explore how mediumship and my relationship with the spirit world have transformed my understanding of love. I now believe that love is the only thing that truly exists, that kindness is among the greatest things we can offer another human being, and that our search for lasting love must ultimately begin within ourselves.This is an episode about rejection, sexuality, belonging, loneliness, survival, self-acceptance and the love we spend our lives trying to find.Perhaps love was never something we had to earn.Perhaps it was something we came here to remember.Content note: This episode includes references to childhood rejection, homophobic bullying, domestic abuse and adult sexual experiences.Connect with Jason Paul:Website: www.jasonpaulmedium.comYouTube: www.youtube.com/@jasonpaulsoulsyncEmail: [email protected] to the Soul Sync newsletter at www.jasonpaulmedium.com for reflections, episode updates and conversations exploring spirituality, healing, consciousness and what it means to be human.Support the show