The Mango

Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu deityHas a brother, Kartikeya, the god of warAnd as children, they both craved a magical mango that could not be sharedSo their parents, Lord Shiva and the goddess Parvati, proposed a raceThree times around the world.Both boys agreed.Kartikeya rides on a peacock. Ganesha rides on a mouse.Kartikeya set off quickly, prodding his peacock over hills and seasGanesha slowly walked in a circle around his parents, three timesWhen they looked at him quizzicallyHe just smiled and said, “You are my world”He won the mango.I’ve been trying to circle the worldAnd it’s diverted me from my own centerThereby dissipating my groundednessHonestly, I thought I was more practiced than thatBut this constant rejection is hard to bearConfusion. Fear. Anxiety. Anger. Depression. Sadness. Grief. Uncertainty. Hopelessness.It’s been beastlyAnd because I mean so little to the world at large, who pays me no attention no matter how much i danceI haven’t been able to appreciate how much I mean to those to whom I mean somethingAnd how much they mean to meThe fact of my financial precarity keeps wanting to sit on the throne of my identityI am more than thatThe grotesque mockery of governmental responsibility keeps wanting to sit on the throne of my attentionMy care is more valuable than my grievance toward their crueltyRemembering the truth is much more subtleWe are right hereOur world is made up of infinite smaller worldsEach revolving around centers of love exchangedRemembering thatWins us the juicy, sweet delicacy of life in this present momentIt doesn’t mean there isn’t a large, tart pit –But that’s not all there is —This truth is sweet. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com