The Measure of a Person Is His Sense of Gratitude Shoftim

 There is something strange about human nature. The first time someone does something for us, we notice it. The second time, we appreciate it. But when someone takes care of us day after day, somehow the extraordinary becomes ordinary. In this morning’s Breakfast & a Class, based on insight of Rabbi Frand, we look at a remarkable Gemara in Ketubot and Rav Pam’s powerful insight into three seemingly insignificant favors — a hand offered on a bridge, a feather brushed away, and a little unpleasantness quietly covered over. The great Amoraim teach us that hakarat hatov begins long before we say “thank you.” It begins with learning to notice.  From there, we bring the lesson home — quite literally. What happens when thekindnesses of a husband or wife become so constant that we begin treating them as part of the job description? Through the unforgettable words of Rabbi Akiva about his wife — “Sheli ve-shelakhem, shelah hu,” “What is mine and what isyours is hers” — and a very personal reflection on my own gratitude to Chantelle, we ask what Elul might look like if, alongside examining what we need to change, we also learned to see again everything — and everyone — HaShem has already given us.