The New Dad Identity Crisis: Why So Many Men Retreat and How to Reconnect w/ Jason Seeman | Ep. 84

When a baby arrives, two births happen at once: a child AND two brand-new parents.    Yet somewhere inside the chaos of sleep deprivation, emotional overload, invisible labor, and identity shifts, couples often look at each other and quietly wonder:    What happened to us?   In this deeply honest conversation with fatherhood mentor Jason Seeman, we explore the profound but rarely-discussed experience of patrescence, the identity shift men go through when they become fathers.  While mothers are often flooded with support, societal narratives, and conversations around matrescence, fathers are handed a baby, a role, and a silent expectation to “figure it out.”   And when they struggle?  Most don’t say a word.   Drawing from Jason’s work supporting fathers, we dive into the emotional terrain beneath the surface: the fatherhood identity shift, the retreat response so many women misinterpret as indifference, and the invisible fatherhood overwhelm that can quietly erode connection.   This episode isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding the psychological, emotional, and relational forces at play so couples can begin reconnecting as parents, not as adversaries.   You’ll hear why so many relationships after baby fall into cycles of misunderstanding… why couples after kids misread each other’s intentions… and why even a loving, well-meaning partner can feel like they’re drifting away.   But most importantly, you’ll learn what brings them back.   Jason shares clear, compassionate, practical tools that help both partners feel seen, supported, and respected in the massive parenthood identity changes they’re navigating.   This is an episode for mothers who feel alone in the emotional labor. It’s for fathers who carry quiet shame about not “doing it right.”   And it’s for couples who know they’re meant to be a team, but feel like they’re speaking two different emotional languages.   Today we explore: Why men retreat emotionally during new fatherhood and what they’re really feeling underneath How women can support without over-functioning (and without becoming the “parent” of their partner) Why emotional labor becomes so unbalanced and how to rebalance it A powerful relational insight: the birth of the parent is also the death of the previous self… and both partners must grieve and grow. This episode will challenge you, validate you, and, hopefully, bring you closer. 🎧 Tune in! 👇 For 1 insight, 1 exclusive tool, and one 3-minute reset, Get on The Sunday Reconnect — ABOUT JASON SEEMAN Jason Seeman is a fatherhood mentor and the founder of Raising Fathers, an organization dedicated to supporting men through the emotional, psychological, and relational transition into fatherhood. Through courses, men’s circles, and 1:1 mentoring, Jason helps fathers move from overwhelm and isolation into grounded, connected, emotionally engaged parenting. Drawing on his experience with The Man Cave and the Rites of Passage Institute, Jason brings a rare blend of empathy, depth, and practical wisdom to modern fatherhood, offering men the tools, community, and guidance they often never received. Connect with Jason: 🌐 Website: https://www.raising-fathers.com 📸 Instagram: @raising_fathers 🎧 Podcast / Events / Courses: Available on his website –- 🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it! --- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge 📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: [email protected]) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! --- Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com