The Problem Has a Name and It's Not You: Narrative Therapy for ADHD, Autism, and the Lies We Tell Ourselves

Narrative therapy, ADHD, autism, and the story you've been telling yourself that is only ~10% of the actual truth. This week I'm talking to Dr. Cristina Louk, neurodivergent clinical psychologist, ADHD specialist, and one of the most genuinely warm and disarmingly earnest humans I've had on this show. She's been doing this work for decades and she is here to explain why narrative therapy might be the most slept-on modality for neurodivergent brains and why the story you've been telling about yourself is technically accurate but also deeply incomplete and kind of a disaster. We get into what narrative therapy actually is, how you thicken a thin story, and why you should absolutely name your problem. Mine is Vanessa. We don't know why. We're not questioning it. We also cover why narrative therapy is not your first stop if you're in crisis, how it plays with CBT, DBT, IFS, and somatic work, and what it looks like to restory your life without anyone telling you to just think positive. Nobody is telling you to just think positive on this podcast. Ever. And then because we are who we are, we spiral into justice sensitivity, RSD, masking, ADHD friend breakups, why some neurodivergent people attract users, and the very specific experience of clocking every single thing someone does wrong while smiling politely about it. Dr. Louk offers a free 15-minute consultation and sees clients in person in Woodinville, Washington and virtually throughout the state, with telehealth licenses in Florida and North Carolina. Find her at peacehumanistic.com. If this episode hit different and you want more, you can find me at alyssazimmerman.com for therapy services in New York State or to apply to be a guest on Clinically Awkward. Come be unhinged with us.   0:00 Meet Dr. Cristina Louk: Neurodivergent Psychologist on ADHD, Autism, and the Anxiety Misdiagnosis Pipeline 5:15 What Is Narrative Therapy? Why This ADHD-Friendly Modality Flies Under the Radar 8:27 Thickening the Story: The Narrative Therapy Technique That Changes Everything 11:57 Narrative Therapy and Suffering: Why We Don't Run From the Hard Parts 14:39 Externalizing the Problem: Getting Neurodivergent Clients to Believe They Are Not the Issue 19:18 Neurodivergent Therapists, Compassion Fatigue, and Why We Don't Work in Candyland 22:04 How Narrative Therapy Actually Works: The Structured Process for ADHD and Autistic Clients 28:44 Masking, IFS, and Narrative Therapy: The Neurodivergent Overlap 30:50 Neuroexpansive: Reframing ADHD and Autism as Strength 36:30 Strength-Based Therapy vs. Toxic Positivity: What Narrative Therapy Gets Right 45:20 Justice Sensitivity and RSD: How Neurodivergent People Experience Emotional Dysregulation 49:11 ADHD, RSD, and Friend Breakups: The Stories We Tell About Relationships