The process that I experience in bipolar is like entropy of the ego and thermodynamics of consciousness

I just read this paper energy and information it's actually a scientific American article from 1971 and it's talking about energy and information and how energy and information are related I don't know if it says it in this paper but energy and information are generally the same they can be transformed into each other it gives an example of X number of joules per degree Kelvin per year or however many bits per second so joules per degree Kelvin per year can be converted to bits per second and I'm not exactly sure how this is relevant to myself dialogue but I just looked at the word entropy and [Music]one of the definitions is lack of order or predictability gradual decline into disorder and in terms of physics it's a thermodynamic quantity representing the unavailability of a systems thermal energy for conversion into mechanical work often interpreted as the degree of disorder or randomness in the system and I feel like in a way the process that I experience is like entropy of the ego it goes towards disorder and it does so not necessarily because that's a bad thing but because there's so much tied up into the ego it becomes a solid structure that really it's not so it's bound to break down at some point so the breakdown of that structure is actually part of a greater order and in terms of energy of talks about how the ego is a waste of energy and I feel like as it breaks down there's more energy available so then there's also more information available because the information that the ego presents is often linear and and repeating so it's not new information so when it breaks down that structure that prevents new information and it's actually in the way of the natural energy process of the brain when it breaks down that energy is available so other information is available and it seems confused and disordered mainly because society is structured around the order of the ego but it's not actually really natural order it's contrived and educated order so when that happens that's when things like hallucinations or delusions or different meanings can come into play mainly because now the brain is trying to establish this other order it's a living order where truth arises moment to moment and has to be let go and not actually believed once it's believed then it's actually attached to this ego structure that's going to start looping things it's going to record something and remember it and believe it when really it all has to be surrendered and we all have these ordered egos these separate me success structures when really that needs to go into disorder in order for a different order of us actually cooperating with each other to arise and it's like that disorder and that randomness and consciousness needs to happen in order for certain people to bounce up against each other and start cooperating but normally what happens as a person is perceived as mentally ill and then put into that order of reality which was not how that was meant to be classified in beginning of that and it says today we know that it takes energy to obtain knowledge and that it takes information to harness energy so the energy in our brain is tied up in our ego process and because of that we're not obtaining new knowledge we're not really learning much of anything and so when that structure breaks down we're often able to learn again and a lot of this is disordered and meaning is attached to things that don't have as much meaning as they feel like in the moment and so called hallucinations and delusions but really it's the brain trying to start to learn how to learn and how to acquire different knowledge and make other meanings than the ones that we've been programmed to make and just repeat all the time and it says it takes information to harness energy so once we've got this way larger context and spectrum and perspective and map to understand things we can then actually as our consciousness unfolds as our process of perception continues we can actually