The Second Scroll

One job that did not materialize for me was for a Dark Retreat companyWeirdly enough, a body worker I love had suggested spending time in the dark just a few months before I met these folksJust be in the dark, he said, not meditating or chanting, just beI’d been practicing it, with towels at the doorjamb of my bathroomAnd quite liked itSpeaking with friends, I learned of several who had done multiple days in darknessAnd found it extraordinarily meaningfulLiz Gilbert had just done a piece on her first dark retreatSo, to hear of a company providing dark retreats at resorts around the world,I was intriguedSeemed timelyBut, not every person can or should be left for days in the dark on purposeI imagined they had a serious intake form, and local mental health resourcesNope.My skepticism didn’t do me any favors, but being that I would’ve been OpsIt was a responsibility I wasn’t willing to assume, which didn’t rattle them at all, they just moved onDays in darkness is a repeated ceremonial ritual across spiritual traditionsIt’s just not for the faint of heartReading the next segment of The Aquarian GospelAfter receiving the scroll of SincerityJesus was left for days in the darkI recognized it as a rite in a way I hadn’t beforeBut then, one evening, again, two men enter through a heretofore unseen doorThey have little lanterns, and once again ask Jesus to follow them~We used to be priests here. This place is crazy. These priests are nuts. You won’t find what you’re looking for here, there is some creepy stuff going on. Follow us, we know the caverns, we can lead you out~Once again, Jesus wasn’t having it.“Your little tapers show the light you bring.”And he goes on to continue the theme of my misunderstood but deeply relevant“I don’t follow fear”But with a spin of: ~why would I judge these people based on your experience and not my own?I didn’t come here looking for anything. I’m not participating in these rites to become more blessed - we’re all all the way blessed all the time by the light of God, unless we give our minds to deceit, which is what you’re asking of me. You know where the door is, use it.~And that was how Jesus earned the second scrollThe scroll of Justice.Not taking someone’s prejudice on as your ownTrusting your experience and your own knowingNot being deterred by naysayersI was a naysayer for the dark retreat company, which was true for me and my risk assessmentDoesn’t mean they shouldn’t do itJust means I shouldn’t do itWe get to make choicesAnd we should make them through our own knowingNot someone else’sWe need each otherWe each have a role to playBest to follow the ones that ignite our inner lightNot wave us forward with dim little lamplights This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com